Shirley Manson rocks

Article here:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1082079/Rock-star-Shirley-Manson-reborn-Hollywood--just-resist-lure-Botox.html

"On the subject of children, Shirley is cheerfully at odds with the current baby-making boom. 'I just missed that whole baby calling. I feel a lot of women think you're a freak if you feel like that, and maybe I am strange,' she laughs, 'but I never got that feeling.

'In some ways I wish I had had that urge, because I adore children. What sickens me are the people who have children because they want someone to look after them in their old age, or because they're scared of being lonely, and I don't think that's right, because if you have children, your duty as a parent is to ensure that your child can learn to live without you. And so I feel I can live quite happily with my decision.'"


I love that woman more than words can say.

'In some ways I wish I had had that urge, because I adore children.

I never get it when the CF say this, likely because it's not my own outlook. But if you truly adore them, yet refrain from having your own, I can't help but think that that adoration has definite limits, if it exists at all. But to each their own.

Yes the "Gee I wish" is always just a sop to parents who demand that everyone buys in to the idea that their decision is the best one, and everyone else's decisions about life are a bit crap.

So they come out saying "Hey I'm shite, but on completely different topic I chose not to have any children!" *wince*

I personally never have any hesitation in saying (only when asked, never just offered apropos of nothing) "I choose not to have kids because I never wanted them." or "I think you really, really have to want kids before you should even attempt having them -- and I never wanted them." No excuses, no apologies. If they're somehow 'hurt' by that, tough cookies, sweetie.

- - - - - - - -
"The death of creativity is a pram in the hallway"
- Cyril Connolly

I'm a huge Terminator fan and I've learned more about her since she's on the Sara Connor Chronicles now.

All I can say is wow, I'm so impressed with this woman as an artist and as a person. Isn't it wonderful to see a smart, attractive women who is loving her single life and not pining for for a may-n or children and isn't baybee obsessed?

All the vapid American tartlets like Angelina, Courtney Cox and J Ho could take a lesson from her. She is more talented and classy than they will ever be.

And the remark about loving children. Put yourself in her position: America is the Cult of Mommy. Maybe she does adore them, or maybe she's just smart. If she had said sentences two and three without saying her first sentence she would have been excoriated. No comments yet, but I'm sure the Mommies will rake her over the coals and make disparaging remarks about her "pitiful, lonely single life" and how they wouldn't trade their snot rockets for her sad unfulfilled life (to them) when she's really living a fabulous, creative and lucrative life on her own terms. How many Mommies have the ability to do that?

I personally don't mind decent older children in small doses, say after age 10 when serial breeders are losing interest in them because they have personalities and they can talk back, but I despise babies and toddlers.

I think that when a CF person says that they adore children, love children, are "good" with kyds, etc.........that it's generally a defense mechanism to ward off unwanted negative images which they would surely be labeled if they actually followed that up with,".....however, I only adore them in very small doses when they are clean and happy, wearing a fresh diaper, and I am certain they will be leaving my sight shortly...", or something else like that but equally as truthful. I am one of those who is considered "good" with kyds and I think it's true, but only because I treat them like a person rather than a kyd and give them realistic expectations with the stern attitude that failure to do as they are supposed to be doing will not be tolerated. I demand respect from kyds by my demeanor alone and I have never been accused of being "wishy washy" with anyone, kyds included. HOWEVER, I have NO desire to be put into a regular position of having to play disciplinarian, babysitter, etc.......so in all truthfulness, my "being good with kyds" would not be true if I was subjected to a kyd's presence on a permanent 24/7 basis.

"I adore kyds" would be a gross exagerration should I ever say it too. A more accurate statement would be that in a few islolated intances I have loved a kyd for various reasons, but they were specific reasons and the incidents were few and far between. I do NOT adore kyds and specifically and certainly, not in general. I can't think of a single instance where I have "adored" a kyd or even got anywhere near feeling adoration. I have cared about kyds (specific ones) in the past, loved some, and cared about their general safety and well being, but NEVER enough to consistently and unconditionally place their needs/wants above my own. Then again, I have never known any biological moocows who have done that either, so I don't guess that they have the right to be casting judgement against people who behave in the same way as they, but who just don't have kyds. It's the epitome of self righteous narcicism for a moocow to claim that they love their kyd unconditionally, when their actions clearly show otherwise, then proceed to criticize CF as being selfish.

I find it amazing what people, especially women, will do not to be lonely, or...even 'look' lonely. I imagine having brats is somewhere on that list.

I agree w/ her.

bell_flower Wrote:
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>
>
> I personally don't mind decent older children in
> small doses, say after age 10 when serial breeders
> are losing interest in them because they have
> personalities and they can talk back, but I
> despise babies and toddlers.

This. And the minute they get a whiff of this the villagers get their torches out.

"You can't slit the throat of every cocksucker whose character it would improve."
-Al Swearingen

clematis Wrote:
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> 'In some ways I wish I had had that urge, because
> I adore children.
>
> I never get it when the CF say this, likely
> because it's not my own outlook. But if you truly
> adore them, yet refrain from having your own, I
> can't help but think that that adoration has
> definite limits, if it exists at all. But to each
> their own.

Adoration, love or even like does have limits. And there's nothing wrong with knowing and living by that. I like chocolate ice cream, I mean REALLY like it. However, if all I had to eat was chocolate ice cream for the next 18 years, you can bet your ass that I'd pretty quickly grow to loathe it.

I like kids, in small doses when I'm drunk and they're quiet and clean. I think there are lots of people who feel this way (maybe not the drunk part), but since it's not socially acceptable to say "I don't want kids", they figure they have to suck it up and have some kids they really don't want around all the time, and end up being shitty parents. If I ended up spooting out kids then I'd HAVE to be drunk most of the time to deal with it. As most of us know, drunks don't make good parents. Knowing this, I choose not to destroy my life and make another life to destroy on top of it.

"It truly is the one commonality that every designation of humans you can think of has, there's at least one asshole."
--Me

Feh Wrote:
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I like kids, in small doses when I'm drunk and
> they're quiet and clean.

Exactly. This is basically the only time I can deal with them, after I've knocked back a few...in VERY small doses.

I think there are lots
> of people who feel this way.

I concur, they just wont come out and say it, like we will.

If I ended up spooting out kids then I'd
> HAVE to be drunk most of the time to deal with it.
> As most of us know, drunks don't make good
> parents. Knowing this, I choose not to destroy my
> life and make another life to destroy on top of
> it.

Right on the money. Plus, I believe in corporal punishment, something very admonished in todays' day and age. I was spanked, my brothers were spanked, and we all turned out to be very productive members of society, depending upon no one but ourselves, and we have excellent relationships with our parents who've been married for 45 years. I STILL call my mom when I truly need to bounce something off of her. I NEEDED the spankings I got, and so did my brothers. Seems 'parents' today have a difficult time distinguishing between a deserved spanking and abuse, two totally different animals. They need to quit reading books, get off the goddammed internet and fucking PARENT.