I have just been informed: "Christmas" is ONLY for the kyds this year

Ok, I know this has been coming for awhile now, but we still have managed to draw one name (adult) each and trade gifts like that the past 5 or 6 years. The parents/aunts/uncles have also ALWAYS sent each of us money during the month of December as well. It has now been decided though, effective immediately, that it will be "easier" on EVERYONE if we just don't even draw names this year and "only get presents for the kyds" in the famblee. Furthermore, since one kyd (age 14) has won some regional citizenship award or something and is going to Australia for two weeks this summer, and ANOTHER kyd (age 9) is competing in a Lake Placid ice skating event, that ANY and all "Christmas money" will now go to those lofty endeavors as well in the form of cash gifts to those parents, instead of wasting it on any adults who don't have kyds.

I want to make it perfectly clear that I do not give a shit if I get any presents or money and futhermore, I don't need anything, but rather it's the principal of it that I hate. I don't happen to think it's fair for anyone to "donate" what would have normally been MY present (or money) to a sister or cousin (we are talking about thousands of dollars here) JUST because they have a kyd and I do not. I think that it's a clear cut case of discrimination of the worst kind. NEITHER of these moomies work and are SAHM, and I don't think that they should allow their kyds to get involved in activities if they can't afford them. I think that they CAN afford it, judging by their lifestyles, homes, spending habits, etc.....The one kyd needs close to 10k for her trip and the other, including famblee hotel room/food/travel/costumes, etc.....will cost at LEAST 5k, which aunts, uncles, and parents are all too happy to pay.

I can't help but wonder where all of their checkbooks were when I have had financial problems in years past? Where were their checkbooks when I was needing money for various endeavors that were important to ME? These mother fuckers didn't open their wallets for ME to go on trips when I was a kyd, *****I****** was expected to earn or raise my OWN money from girl scout camp (I sold butter cookies door to door, through rain, sleet, snow and hail) to various musical competitions ( early morning donut sales to grouchy old men in the neighborhood with hangovers)to other numerous "competitions which required traveling and raising money (I walked uphill a mile in the snow one way each day to pay for that shit) Now though, they are just handing over HUGE amounts of money, hand over fist, to all of these second generation replicants and I do not think there is anything fair about it in the least.

I realize that I sound greedy and maybe I am, but this whole mess just PISSES me off royally. In addition, of course I am expected to give every fucking kyd a present. There are 9 cousins including my sisters and myself, and a total of 8 kyds with me being the only CF on this side of the famblee and one breeder pleasing childLESS sister. Therefore, in addition to involuntarily "donating" what would have been MY present, I am expected to buy for all of those kyds, but I have no kyd to get a gift in return. I find this HIGHLY wrong and it deeply offends me, but I am not surprised and can't believe it took this long for it to finally happen. The oldest kyd is 16 and the youngest is 5, I think, so unless they change the rules, I have about ten years or so left on this sentence before I am eligible for parole.

Merry fucking Christmas

This is truly unbelievable, KK, and I send you my heartfelt condolences for being in the middle of a really shitty situation. If you cave and do this big $ child gifting, you'll feel like a sellout, and if you don't, you can count on being ostracized by the rest of the family that is on board with the "new" plan.

The following suggestions are not necessarily honest, but hey, desperate times call for desperate measures.

Is there any way you can make last minute Christmas plans so that you are out of town, far away, when the Great Family Giftfest takes place, visiting an old friend with a terminal illness?

Could you simply give each kid a dollar store gift and claim with a straight face that even that amount was difficult given your current dire financial situation?

Would the family back off if you created a story about some huge medical bill that you thought until now was paid, that has magically gone to collection, and the rabid agency calls and hounds you mercilessly at all hours, and you have no choice to pay with the Christmas budget, the food budget, and the mortgage?

If you didn't want to play the "just can't afford it" card, what about starting a new Christmas tradition where you and hubs go someplace exotic for Christmas far far away from family? I'm sure there might be some good last minute travel deals out there, and it might actually be more pleasant than surrounding yourself with family members like you've described.

That is disgusting, Kim. Do they even realize how greedy and unreasonable they are? Oh, wait: they're breeders.

I'd tell them to go fuck themselves - but then, I don't have much family left, so I understand wanting to keep the peace. But it's just too unfair to you.

This reminds me of something that happened to me twice in stores: some kid or teen was asking for "donations" for their "field trip" to Europe. Huh? Since when is a trip to Europe a necessity? Heck, I'VE never been there, because it's too expensive! Back in my days, field trips were to the local zoo or the sugar shack, whatever.

Yeah, I could do all of the above that Tiquer mentioned, but I doubt I will. They had "the vote" a few years back that we would go from "exchanging" to only drawing one adult name and get all of the kyds gifts, so I knew where this was heading. I never spend much money as I have a knack for finding "cool" stuff at bargain basement prices, and I don't mind giving the kids a gift and likely would anyway, since they are present at the Christmas feast. However, the part I mostly resent is having MY present "donated" to the causes, so to speak. Then being expected to give kyds gifts IN ADDITION TO THAT, and their apparent lack of noticing that, "Hey, wait a minute, maybe this should only be for the childed to do among themselves..." annoys me as well.

They did this same type thing about 10 years ago when one of my breeder cousins got divorced, hence she became a "single mom". They ALL decided that we would forfeit our monetary gifts and send ALL of the loot, IN CASH, to her. There are 8 other cousins, so multiply each parent and aunt/uncle giving each kid approx $100-200 in cash each, is what she got that year. They ALSO pulled the grandmother in on it, so that was another EIGHT HUNDRED more dollars that she got. She NEVER said "thankyou" to any of us either AND she had a new man hanging on her arm and half moved in before the turkey even hit the table.

I guess that I really wish that they would just give to whoever they want and not even notify me and leave it at that. I also wish they would not make these announcements about who will be giving what to whom, and leave me be. If I never had it then I won't miss it, but they don't have to rub my nose in it either, ya know? One other issue that is a REAL thorn in my side regarding this is that before any of these other second generation replicants were birthed, I had a step daughter who attended that feast for YEARS between the ages of 2-10, BEFORE anyone had sprogged. Not ONE of those cousins ever gave her as much as a candy cane.

So, I guess they rationalize, IF they even bother to think about it, that it's different because, "It's their own". They simply didn't give it a second thought because THEY didn't have any kyds to receive gifts at that time, but my thinking that same way would be interpretted as selfish, NO DOUBT. It also doesn't help that my childLESS sister dresses up like a Dr Seuss character every year and runs around giving all of the kyds candy and presents. I am sure that I am thought of as a real stick in the mud, but maybe that's what "the village" has made me aspire to be. The holiday season has made me nervous for as long as I can remember, and time is only making it worse.

I have never been out of The United States either Medusa, except on a Bahamian cruise, and it GALLS me to think that MY Christmas present money is funding a 14 y/o to go.

How about you tell them that although you don't have a child, you have a charity you want to donate extra to this year so instead of giving presents to you this year, they can give money that you can send to the charity.
But then they will probably just say they need to help their own kids first, but then maybe you do too if you're not getting any extra money this year.

Slightly off topic, I have noticed "Save the Children" is concentrating its' efforts stateside. Guess they are trying not to lay their employees off by appealing to the good old red white and blue....cash grab, anyone? NONE of the kids in the new ads look anything other than trashy......yeah, you can heave the ramen I'M eating, you little fetal alcohol bastard....

What a steaming load of dog shit. The gall of those people. I wouldn't bother getting anyone gifts at all. Ugh.

I am thankful that my family is small, and we never got hit with the gift grab. All of mom and dad's siblings moved back east or lost contact. Every once in a while I get an invitation to some family do back in Virginia or Pennsylvania, but I never go. From what mom and dad told me over the years, they were breedertrash.

Kim, it sucks that your family is this greedy. I would be loath to give the kyds gifts as well, especially if they expect $100-$200. :scr Holy crap! It's also awful that they snubbed your former step-daughter, but now expect you to subsidize THEIR brats' exorbitant trips.

By the way, I didn't travel to Europe until I was 23 and working two jobs to afford it.

Voting for a family mandate to subsidize children's luxuries (and trips like these are NOT necessities, by any stretch of the imagination,) is the height of ridiculousness.

KK, if you up and announced at a family gathering that YOU needed a new BMW and wanted the family to pitch in to defray the cost, German engineering is just soooo expensive these days, but it's all worth it because you get what you pay for, yada, yada, if they're not the type of people to pass the hat for YOU, then they should not reasonably expect you to pony up for their extravagances, either. If they can't send their little darlings on these vacations, then they can't afford it, and parents and kiddies need to brainstorm a way to EARN the money they need, and BEGGING for it via a Family Bailout Christmas Cash Grab shouldn't even be considered.

Personally, I'd have a hard time spending my holiday with a group of people so presumptuous and greedy, unless I had consumed copious amounts of holiday cheer, but it would take a LOT of wine to make me plaster a smile on my face and pretend to enjoy their company.

This is ridiculous. Christmas is not an opportunity to drum up funds for kids' random endeavors. What nonsense.

Christmas should be a time for people to exchange (even 1) thoughtful gift. In large families, a "draw one name" exchange can be great; in any case, everyone should have a chance to give and receive something thoughtful and special. Homemade? Great. It's the thought that counts, and oftentimes homemade items are extra cool.

It's not a fundraising opportunity for whatever half-baked schemes the kids are up to. Can't feed 'em, don't breed 'em.

I'm so sorry, Kim. How disgusting and selfish of them all. I think you need to make how you feel known. I couldn't imagine having to deal with such bullshit. You should NOT be OBLIGATED to DONATE to the fucking kids cause for crying out loud! I'd get a few little things for the little ones and fuck the donating. They can go to hell with that!

I think this is terribly rude. Christmas or ANY holiay for that matter, is for EVERYBODY. To do this excludes everybody and sends a message in the family dynamic.