I HATE my mother in law's "Famblee Christmas cookie bake"

She will start up calling just any day now to announce when her annual "Famblee Christmas cookie bake" will be held, and I absolutely HATE hearing about those fucking cookies.This is my 3rd Christmas up here so I have only been subjected to it twice, but then we ALSO have the "Valentine famblee cookie bake" and the "Easter famblee cookie bake", so I have been to a precious plenty of "cookie bakes". This is a BIG deal to her and she always goes on and on about how she started this when my husband and his sister were kyds and HOW much they loved it. Although the "cookie bake" tradition remained unbroken, it has of course intensified since the grandbrats were born. I can't say how her daughter feels about it, but my husband hates it as well and HAS hated it for as long as he can remember.

She basically cuts out a bunch of cookie dough in shapes suitable to the holiday, and then sets the pans in the middle of the table with a shitload of decorating sprinkles, candy dust, m&m's, icing, etc.....where EVERYBODY is forced to decorate away. Special attention and oohs and aahhs are expected when the youngest grandbrat wants to sprinkle his with double chocolate, or WHATEVER, and the cam corder comes out along with a host of picture flashes. She believes that everyone LOVES doing this as evidenced by her comments. ***I*** HATE IT, her SON hates it, her HUSBAND doesn't participate, so that one is a no brainer, and the older grandkyd seemed completely UNinterested last year and complained when he was pulled away from his tv show. SHE isn't "decorating" because she is too busy cutting out snowmen and Santa Claus' and putting cookies in and out of the oven, so that leaves me, a hyper grandkyd who needs NO more sugar, the youngest grandbrat, and the pretending to be interested in it SIL at the decorator's table.

Last year I told her I didn't think I would make it and she said, "You don't come and you get no cookies!". As she knows, I don't eat cookies/cakes/candy, except on the most RARE of occasions, so that wasn't really a good ransom to hold over my head. Then, my FIL called and went on about how much it means to her and I told him that I didn't understand why it continued to mean so much when NO ONE wanted to do it. Then he told me it was because they never even put up a tree when SHE was a kyd. So, I fell for the guilt trip and went anyway, but I STILL think it's ridiculous for a GROWN woman to make such a BIG deal out of some stupid shit like this. When she asked me when her son would be there last year, I told her the truth. I told her that I woke him up from his nap, he sleepily looked up at me and asked, "what?", I said, "Cookies", and he rolled back over and started snoring. I thought that she was going to cry for a minute there, but she just slid another batch of reindeer in the oven.

I hope that I NEVER make people feel obligated to participate in some tradition or whatever, JUST because ***I****** like it or want to do so. I doubt I will because that seems to be a breeder trait and they have the market cornered on that nonsense.

That's batshit ridiculous. If your MIL wants to put on a cookie bake for the youngest grandbrats, fine. In that case, both she AND the kyds will enjoy it. But who the hell does she think she is forcing the older kids and adults to participate in her little ritual? I can't imagine doing that to people. It seems it would be OBVIOUS when people aren't thrilled to be there. Yet more evidence that breeders/grandbreeders have to have it THEIR way, all the time, no matter what.

This year, I'd politely explain that I'd be working on a work project that HAD to be done by X date OR out of town on a holiday event with X person OR on a long-awaited vacation in town X and unavailable.

Seriously, I'd just absent myself with a believable excuse. The stress is not worth it. I'd be all polite and all, but would say, OH SORRY, I can't make it this year but have a lovely time (thankfully without me!)

Oh boo-hoo, no cookies that have been touched by children whose fingers have been in their mouths, noses, ears and probably asses? Oh how will you ever make it through the holidays without crusty cookies lazily iced by apathetic adults or kids with the precision of a seizing epileptic?

Yeah, I'd have plans this helliday season too.

My mom used to force me to help her ice her goddamn sugar cookies and peel raw peanuts for peanut brittle. The cookies I didn't mind because I got to lick the icing spoons when we were done, but peeling those peanuts actually made my fingers bleed. That crispy brown film over the peanut was so hard to remove and I got it stuck under my nails and I bled from it. Damn straight she made her goddamn peanut brittle on her own after that.

My mum quit doing Christmas shit once my da died, which was fine by me. I didn't mind helping out, just never was overly enthusiastic about all that. Thank doG my relatives are across the country so I don't get stuck in the middle of all this bullshit. My sincerest apologies, KK

I can sympathiza KK, every year my mom and grandmother make a huge fuss about cooking/baking all that Christmas crap. Who the hell needs that much sugar anyways? This year will be even worse since my cousin is bringing his girlfriend and her brat (the kid's not even his). So now they'll all be oohing and ahhing over the brat while they're cooking. I've been practicing fake eunthusiam for when they force the brat on me but so far I'm not very convincing. I wish Christmas would just go away. I guess you'll just have to do what I do to keep the peace... grin and bear it. I tell ya, it's a breeders world, we just live in it. d

Kaia

This is totally a control issue, as evidenced by the strongarming and the guilting. You need to put your foot down. She is manipulating you (and others) to get off on her own personal power. I would skip it and ignore the complaining. She needs to get over this what she didn't get as a child crap. She gets enough attention NOW.

On the bright side KK, if you refuse to participate at least you know your husband hates it too and will back you up. I've seen to many guys who swear they're mother's are saints who can do no wrong and it causes so much grief for the guys wives. At least your husband has his eyes open to the way she really is.

Kaia

Kaia Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> On the bright side KK, if you refuse to
> participate at least you know your husband hates
> it too and will back you up. I've seen to many
> guys who swear they're mother's are saints who can
> do no wrong and it causes so much grief for the
> guys wives. At least your husband has his eyes
> open to the way she really is.
>
> Kaia


You are correct in that he does see her for what she is and he simply just won't go to the famblee bake offs or if he goes over there at all, he doesn't "decorate". I have only known her for 3 years, but I have heard her say at LEAST 15-20 times, "If he hadn't have been such a difficult birth, then I wouldn't have had to have a hysterectomy at age 20 and would have had a houseful of kyds". At every available opportunity, and even some which she creates, she NEVER hesitates to remind him and anyone who will listen that HE is the reason that she only had two kyds. He said that she has done that for as long as he can remember and it no longer bothers him. He says also that he has NEVER apologized, which it DOES seem that she is fishing for an apology, and that he never intends to apologize either.

That woman is going to "keep on" and catch me in an especially foul mood one day and I will light into her about it, which of course will likely make her cry and she will deny her motives for saying that all of the time. I wish that she would STFU about the kyds that she never had and I further wish she would release the last inkling of a thought that she will get any sort of grandbratgurl from me. I only thought that my mother had the market cornered on martyrdom, UNTIL I met this woman.

Oh my, I am so sorry you have to deal with that KK. She sounds dreadful. It blows my mind she would expect her son to apologize for his own birh, how insane. Why the heck does your husband even continue to have a relationship with her? If my mother treated me like that she'd never hear from me again..

Kaia

I am sorry you have to put up with that KK. She sounds aweful. It's unbelievable she would expect her son to apologize for his own birh, how crazy. Why does your husband even bother to have a relationship with her? If my mother treated me like that I'd cut ties with her in a heartbeat.

Kaia

Rose Red Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> This is totally a control issue, as evidenced by
> the strongarming and the guilting. You need to
> put your foot down. She is manipulating you (and
> others) to get off on her own personal power. I
> would skip it and ignore the complaining. She
> needs to get over this what she didn't get as a
> child crap. She gets enough attention NOW.

Nailed it!

Sorry some of you have to deal with this crap...guess I'm really lucky. NO ONE in my family is maternal or "family-oriented" Never were, never will be.

All we care about is who is bringing which drinks and "should we try a new concoction this year" (while we make sarcastic comments about each other).

I can't help but think of Elaine's line on Seinfeld (as she shakes her head slowly).."Man, what a pain it must be to have a 'REAL' family" LOL
How true.

Kaia Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I am sorry you have to put up with that KK. She
> sounds aweful. It's unbelievable she would expect
> her son to apologize for his own birh, how crazy.
> Why does your husband even bother to have a
> relationship with her? If my mother treated me
> like that I'd cut ties with her in a heartbeat.
>
> Kaia

I dumped mine! It's WONDERFUL.

LOL - this reminds me of the last time that my Mom ever roped me into decorating Christmas Cookies. I had just gotten engaged to DH, and decided that I would decorate cookies the way that we, as horror movie fans, would want. I made the round cookies into Jack Skellington heads, and then made all the gingerbread men into corpses - some shot, some stabbed, ect. - And the snowmen looked like they were screaming in agony because I made it look like all of their limbs had been torn off. Amazing what you can do with red icing and a toothpick! DH *LOVED* them, the kids all copied my decorating ideas, and my Mother never asked me to decorate cookies again.

Very strange. Control issues here.

In the words of my cousin:

"Family. It's not just a word. It's a sentence."

Go and decorate your cookies with a little candy penis, little candy boobs, and other things that might make kids ask what Aunt Kim is doing to her cookies.
Have some fun with it, mold the cookies into sex positions, give one really big candy breasts and one a really big candy penis.
Make her not want to ask you back.
Sorry, the inner smart ass just keeps coming out in me, sometimes I can't control it.

This is totally a control issue, as evidenced by
> the strongarming and the guilting.

Yep. RR nailed it as usual. I'm in the process of divorcing myself from same, so I do sympathize.

>>>> I've seen to many guys who swear they're mother's are saints who can do no wrong and it causes so much grief for the guys wives. At least your husband has his eyes open to the way she really is.

Yes, I wish there were more hubbies like yours. Mine has virtually never said a cross word about his even in passing, and she's ok, but on some level I think he knows how she is and it eats him up inside by forcing himself not to have an opinion.

But all in all, I guess the ultimate fuck you to all his mom has taught him over the years...he married a CF woman while his mom is Queen of breederdom, and we must have contrary opinions/beliefs about every subject imaginable.

I hope you feel better that at least hubby can be 'on your side' from time to time. My guess is I and others almost never have this when the moomie is some kind of saint in their delusional mindsets.

>>>> I've seen to many guys who swear they're mother's are saints who can do no wrong and it causes so much grief for the guys wives. At least your husband has his eyes open to the way she really is.

Yes, I wish there were more hubbies like yours. Mine has virtually never said a cross word about his even in passing, and she's ok, but on some level I think he knows how she is and it eats him up inside by forcing himself not to have an opinion.

But all in all, I guess the ultimate fuck you to all his mom has taught him over the years...he married a CF woman while his mom is Queen of breederdom, and we must have contrary opinions/beliefs about every subject imaginable.

I hope you feel better that at least hubby can be 'on your side' from time to time. My guess is I and others almost never have this when the moomie is some kind of saint in their delusional mindsets

Biblioninja Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> DH
> *LOVED* them, the kids all copied my decorating
> ideas, and my Mother never asked me to decorate
> cookies again.

Farking hysterical.

LOL - this reminds me of the last time that my Mom ever roped me into decorating Christmas Cookies. I had just gotten engaged to DH, and decided that I would decorate cookies the way that we, as horror movie fans, would want. I made the round cookies into Jack Skellington heads, and then made all the gingerbread men into corpses - some shot, some stabbed, ect. - And the snowmen looked like they were screaming in agony because I made it look like all of their limbs had been torn off. Amazing what you can do with red icing and a toothpick! DH *LOVED* them, the kids all copied my decorating ideas, and my Mother never asked me to decorate cookies again.

Ah ha ha ha ha ha! Love it! OK, thank you for my laugh for the day. Those poor snowmen!

Oh for crying out loud, why are you going to purposefully subject yourself to such mental abuse Kim? Just don't go. God I'd rather have bamboo shoots shoved up my nails than tolerate that kind of pain.

Decorating cookies is for kids, and in case she hasn't noticed: Y'all don't have kids. Not interested. Bored. Annoyed. Do something else like, sleep late and...whatever...teehee

She hasn't brought it up yet, so maybe she forgot. It seems like she did it the past two years some time immediately following the beginning of "winter break", since she is a teacher I suppose and has more time then. Does anyone know when the schools start their holiday hiatus? It will be a few days prior to that when the date of the annual famblee Christmas cookie bake will likely be announced. I am waiting in excited anticipation of the blessed bakefest.