First Holiday Loaf Picture

It has started already, my friends. got the first "holiday greeting card picture" of my cousin's loaf in the mail yesterday. Just the loaf, too. No pic of my cousin, hubby, or their beautiful dog.

I ask:

What is wrong with setting the camera on the timer, having everyone nicely dressed, and sitting for a picture with mom, dad, loaf, and dog? I don't get it. Why just the loaf?

This past Saturday, dressed nicely for hubby's xmas party, we did just that: set the camera on timer, sat with the 2 dogs and did the "family picture" thing for the holidays. I'm picking them up Thursday to send them to the 70 people on our holiday card list - INCLUDING the ones who INSIST on sending us pictures of "just the loaf."

I'm sure it will piss off a few people. LOL My deed here is done.

We already have received two holiday cards featuring the loaves.

It is bizarre - the presumption that people outside the immediate family of these people give a god-damn about how the kids look, their ages and all that crap. Drives me nuts.

I have nothing personal against these kids; I just don't care.

I'm dreading the mailbox these days. My hubby gets the mail first now, and he's not as militant as I. He will get his family's loaves pics and put them up before I get a chance to scrap them. I will have to leave them up till the end of the month. :-(

Most of the pics give me douche chills. I am always wondering the same thing, where's the rest of the family? His family has these dumb photos taken and planned months ahead of time. They are soo bizzy bizzy bizzy mommies, but they have time to pour over this crap.

This is one thing I hate about modern technology, because now modern moos can do a pic card every year and just print out the addys and electronically sign the cards. Nothing personal about it at all and just too too easy to share the DNA that fell out of their 'ginas.

The way moos use computers and the like to constantly shoot you their breeder crap make me feel like getting in my time machine and going back to the year 1991, or earlier.

CF Uter Wrote:
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> I'm dreading the mailbox these days. My hubby
> gets the mail first now, and he's not as militant
> as I. He will get his family's loaves pics and
> put them up before I get a chance to scrap them.
> I will have to leave them up till the end of the
> month. :-(
>
Me too. : (

>
> This is one thing I hate about modern technology,
> because now modern moos can do a pic card every
> year and just print out the addys and
> electronically sign the cards. Nothing personal
> about it at all and just too too easy to share the
> DNA that fell out of their 'ginas.
>
> The way moos use computers and the like to
> constantly shoot you their breeder crap make me
> feel like getting in my time machine and going
> back to the year 1991, or earlier.

I got one of these. It's not like they have anything better to do than TMIJITW. Playing on the computer reassures them that they've still got it. Even though they don't.

I have 3 on my desk all of soul suckers, I sent out a card with pictures of our motorcycle trip to the Grand Canyon.

T wo
H ousehold
I ncome
N o
K ids
E arly
R etirement

I get a nice photo of my brother and his family (wife and two girls) every year. It's usually from one of their annual trips. It is always a nice picture and it is always welcome. But then again, my brother and his wife have some sense about them (yes, they actually waited until they were super super super super stable until they even thought about having kids). And when they had trouble TTC? They ADOPTED! No DNA replicant needed, even though she came along eventually.

Mmmm-hmmm...it's that jolly time of year again where we get to see the contributions everyone's been busy making. How boring that they're usually of the flesh loaf kind.

I have an old friend from high school who doesn't bother to contact me at ANY OTHER TIME OF YEAR other than to send me a picture of her faaambbleee. I've written her separately by regular mail, email...NOTHIN'. But each year I can expect to get the dreaded Christimas letter about a bunch of fucking strangers and herself.

She got knocked up our senior year and of course that baby daddy is long gone. But now she is married to what looks like an older man with a kid of his own. Together, their little conglomerate of offspring includes her mistake, his mistake with an ex-wife (maybe, I dunno she never actually TALKS to me) and two anchor kids.

I wonder if my cousin is going to include her dogs in the picture this year. It used to be just her cute doggies 'til she sprogged. Then it was loaf and doggie. Now it's just the two loaves of course.

I feel like sending a photo of a random plant in my Xmas card.

Maybe moos when then pause and think how dumb it is to send a pic of a lump of flesh, w/o any other reference to Xmas or the rest of the family.

Nah, they are never gonna think about it because it's all about THEM.

Annie,
I'm with you.. nothing like a pic of the motorcycle at the Grand Canyon to piss them off even more. Luckily, my families kids are grown..and no grandkids yet... hmmm.. they are 25-35 years of age.. I wonder if my siblings raised CF kids.

We are headed out to Las Vegas and probably the Grand Canyon for Xmas..but will probably be driving the car instead of renting bikes to the Canyon..but it would be waaaaay more fun that way.
PS

I feel like sending a photo of a random plant in my Xmas card.

Mwa ha ha ha ha! Hey, I have about a dozen big pots of herbs around the house, any one of which would make a LOVELY picture. I assume all the folks on my Xmas list would love to see how my rosemary is progressing, no? About as much as I want to see how anyone's little brats are progressing.

Hm, the parsley is pretty nice, too...Ooh! lookit that oregano...(sets up tripod)...

This reminds me of a cheesy commercial I saw last night. It featured two goofy breeders who had dressed their three kiddies up in different Christmas costumes. One of the kids was a snowman, one was a reindeer, and one was a Christmas tree. It shows the parents trying to corral the dressed-up kids and get them to stand still for a photo. This goes on for a minute because kids misbehaving and completely ignoring their parents is supposed to be utterly hilarious.

Eventually the parents are able to take the photos and the mom bleats, "We can use these photos as the perfect gift for everyone!"
They end up giving the pictures out as presents, and at the end, it shows a grandmoo opening up a package with a picture frame full of these dumb shots of the kids dressed up. Quite frankly, I'd rather someone give me a cardboard tube or literally put a lump of coal in a box than receive multiple pictures of someone's kids as a gift.

Parents are absolutely deluded beyond belief if they think anyone cares to see yet another Christmas photo of their spawn.

MerlynHerne Wrote:
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> Nah, they are never gonna think about it because
> it's all about THEM.

THIS. I sent word through a friend to her mom that I wanted to be taken off their Family Xmas newsletter b/c I didn't have 10 minutes to read about their timeshares and not one person in that family has spoken to me since.

I'm crying a river.

Clematis, I don't find that funny at all. I think pictures of the herbs would make a wonderful christmas card motif, or any greeting card.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
"I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell"

:eatu

I've ALWAYS sent of pic of me having a ball on vacation, ever since I was 24 - and I'm now 40....serves many purposes...and actually, everyone really seems to like it.

This year is obviously gonna be one of my pics from Egypt, one of me dressed up in Egyptian clothing with my sexy Egyptian tour guide and the Nile River in the background (while smoking sheesha - one of those huge waterpipe things - that will be CLASSIC) . Maybe I'll do a collage actually, as there are sooo many cool pics of the pyramids, hot air ballooning, etc.

I'll bet most people would rather see that than ANOTHER slobbering kid...I know I would. They all kind of look the same to me in those x-mas card pics anyway.

I always also thought those LONG letters would be hilarious if people actually wrote the truth. Ya know,

Dear friends,

Well, this past year has really been awful. Bob got fired for screwing his secretary and sending porn out to fellow female employees, we're all so proud....and OMG, now I may have to actually become "an employee, whatever THAT is, and WORK." I don't know how I will get hired anywhere as all I know how to do is drive a mini-van and watch T.V.
And we're all so proud of "little Bobby", as he served his 3 years WITHOUT ONE complaint of missing his homies and his 2 different baby mamas, or even his illegitimate kids for that matter - what a trouper he is, I tell ya! God , how I love that "kid". I beam with pride everytime I walk into the visitor's area.

And of course, we couldn't be PROUDER of Brianna, as she is due in 2 weeks...just in time for Christmas- and before finals!!! She definitely has a knack for "event planning". We so far have had little luck in finding the father, but who cares, we'll all have this LITTLE MIRACLE with US for the holidays...I'm so happy..right? right?

Signed,

The fake happy famblee

I think you guys get the picture!! Sorry it isn't better, I'm on a time constraint here.

PAGING KIDLESS KIM, I bet you could write us up a GREAT one...get to work...I want to laugh and bring some joy to all of us "Scrooges"

spermandapaycheck,

I have written MANY a "Christmas letter" just for my own satisfaction and enjoyment, after having gotten one of those STUPID "Christmas update" letters that my last set of inlaws like to send. I seriously thought of writing one for this year and actually sending it though, but I doubt that it would go over well. The WORST one I ever remember getting was about 3 pages long and from my BIL at the time, who already had 4 kyds when he and his wife were transfered to Germany in the AF and had a total of THREE MORE Pregnancies while over there, one a live birth, a still born, and a miscarriage, for which they held a funeral. Most of the letter was about the struggles of the pregnancies, the "deaths", the burials (complete with open casket baybee pics), and her ruptured pussy (Thank God, no pics of that)and it's subsequent healing thereof. NEVER anything about life in Germany or anything interesting.

He spent nearly a PAGE telling of her ruptured episiotomy, the rectal eruption that it had caused, the tear in her uterus and details about how it had been repaired, then the NEXT birth of the living (but fucked up) kyd who had been born via c-section, how THAT incision had become infected, on and on and on and on. That woman was either pregnant, giving birth, healing from having been knocked up, or holding funerals for periods and dead baybees the whole time they were in Germany.The rest of it was all about the other four brats of course, who I may add ALL have something wrong with them, yet he touts himself as this WONDERFUL SAHD, and he homeskools the little bastards. They have mental issues, AND physical problems and NONE of those kyds have the slightest social grace or manners either.

My mother met the brood once and only was around them about an hour. Afterwards my mother said, "Is it just me, or is there something WRONG with every one of those kyds?" She ought to know, she has been teaching kyds piano lessons since 1974, so I am pretty certain that they are actually fucked up and there is no doubt that they are ugly too, just like their parents. Their eyes are too far apart, they have a distant and far way look, they are all clumsy and always knocking shit over, and the older boy who was about 11-12 at the time would just burst out crying if something didn't go his way, much like a two y/o. I am SO glad I am spared those "updates" about "Nancy", her stupid kyds, and her pussy problems due to childbirth.

Nice, Cambion...an herbal homage. You guys are giving me some good ideas here. I think I'm going to have to get the critters together for a nice shot in front of the fish tank. There's a nice perch above the tank for the birdies, then we can be cradling the kitties. They should have bright red and green bows with jingle bells around their necks. Yea. Too bad I haven't an OUNCE of spirit this year. I haven't even touched the decorations. I think they're just gonna stay in the boxes this year.

Seacreature Wrote:
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Too bad I haven't an OUNCE of spirit
> this year.

Me either.

I haven't even touched the
> decorations. I think they're just gonna stay in
> the boxes this year.

I stopped doing the tree thing about 8 or 9 years ago but I love doing the stocking thing, and will usually put up a basic wreath on my front door - not this year...nothing, zilch. I've just spent the last 4 hours of my day today looking for a job. There's just nothing out there and things are getting really tough. I've not received any Kidmas cards yet thank God, I'm in such a shitty mood I'd probably use it as fireplace starter instead of doing the usual and throwing them in the trash.

Ugh, str8six, I didn't know you were job searching. This is the worst time of year for that. Wait until February, things usually pick up. Fret not, our new Prez will make it all better! (rollseyes)

KidFreeLuvnLife Wrote:
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Fret not, our new Prez will make it all
> better! (rollseyes)

LMFAO KFLL!!!!:

Oh man, str8six, I didn't know you were looking either! I'm so sorry you're out of work. We're on edge at my work and I'm looking, too. It's so awful right now. Best of luck to you!

Thanks seacreature; my 'employer' has cut my hours down to like 1 day a week, and I just cannot do my job like that. My office has been shut down and my desk and files and books and research material scattered all over City Hall...I just can't do a decent job like this and make any money to boot. Part of the problem is that I live in the country so I have to go to one of the major cities (Macon or Atlanta) to work - not worth the gas...what a bitch...

str8six, Good luck with your job search. I know this sounds cheesy, but I firmly believe that when one door closes, another opens. Although it might be awhile, something decent WILL come along.

Clematis, I don't find that funny at all. I think pictures of the herbs would make a wonderful christmas card motif, or any greeting card.


Thank you, PP. That's nice. I am a bit of a plant geek and we have 2 large tables covered with big ol' pots full of herbs that I use in cooking, so I'm kinda attached to 'em. Fresh parsley in December is a lot of fun. It makes me feel all gourmet and stuff. They're quiet, require only a sunny window and water, and are far more attractive than the average sprog. And much more palatable.

clematis Wrote:
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> I feel like sending a photo of a random plant in
> my Xmas card.
>
> Mwa ha ha ha ha! Hey, I have about a dozen big
> pots of herbs around the house, any one of which
> would make a LOVELY picture. I assume all the
> folks on my Xmas list would love to see how my
> rosemary is progressing, no? About as much as I
> want to see how anyone's little brats are
> progressing.
>
> Hm, the parsley is pretty nice, too...Ooh! lookit
> that oregano...(sets up tripod)...


Hey, I do have an orchid that is blooming for the first time since I got it 6 years ago! I almost feel like I've accomplished something worthy of one of those photo cards.

What I hate more than anything during the holidays are the "family update" form letters. They're terribly boring and usually filled with "we celebrated sprogfords birthday this year at Disneyland". Ohhhh... accomplishment indeed. The only good one I've ever gotten was completely over the top with accomplishments for every family member, including the dog, only to end with a hilarious punch line about how silly such letters were, and how they missed spending time with everyone but they were enjoying their new house, or town, or something like that. It was hilariously written.

"It truly is the one commonality that every designation of humans you can think of has, there's at least one asshole."
--Me