Job Vacancy for Parenting (CF need not apply)

During the time when this Bratfree Forum was under site maintanance for 2 weeks and no it's back in action. I found this other CF sites to look at and I come accross this:

Job vacancy for Parent.
This person found it from the toront link (aka Canadian CF site)
http://thebritgirl.com/2007/10/10/job-description-for-parents-childfree-women-or-men-need-not-apply/

If you don't have the time to look at the web link please look below:

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Parenting Job Description

POSITION :
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop

JOB DESCRIPTION :

Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an,
often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES

The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, and embarrassed the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:

None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly
retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :

None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION :

Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS :

While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered;
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.

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All I got to say about this:
The only way to get this job is to pop out a kid - breeders definately the best candidate.

I am not applying for this - NO WAY. I rather be sterilise.

Um, how about no.

"You can't slit the throat of every cocksucker whose character it would improve."
-Al Swearingen

"WAGES AND COMPENSATION :

Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS :

While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered;
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right."



I find it AMAZING that they can joke about basically throwing their lives life away AND paying for it. What a bunch of stupid assholes. "Free hugs and kisses", IF you "play your cards right?". The only card I would want in this game is a "get out of jail free" one. These people are SO full of their own bullshit that they actually seem to believe this facade of "selflessness" that they claim to have, when in fact, they are complete and unadulterated idiots and anything BUT selfless.