A question about childfree women and menopause

This question came to me the other day and I wonder if anyone else has any thoughts on the subject.

If women enter menopause with the mindset of relief--either freedom from pregnancy or freedom from menstruation, do they have fewer problems adjusting to physical and emotional changes that happen during menopause than women whose entire lives revolved around having children and whose identity in large part came from reproductive capability and motherhood?

Wow, that's a very good question T but also a very individual answer. No two women have the same feelings and reactions to menopause. I wonder if any studies have been done on CF women who have gone through menopause? My mom says her menopause was barely noticeable, and both of my grandma's said the same thing! But I have an aunt on my mom's side who's going through it now and says it's pure hell.

I hope I take after mom lol!

I don't know if there are any studies, but I have had no known problems. I don't even think about it.

CF: I think that because there is such a hoop-la over it, that women psych themselves up for the worst case scenario. Some may be more of the hypochondriac type personality, and then some I am sure are genuinely miserable. A positive attitude, a woman with hobbies she enjoys and one who is generally happy will probably have a better time dealing with menopause than those of the opposite traits. Just my personal opinion.

I haven't reached menopause yet and I know no other childfree women personally who have either, so I don't know. I would think that the hormonal fluctuations would have similar effects and be individual to the woman. I would also be willing to bet though that sure enough breeders, like the fundie ones who wallow on the bathroom floor and wail when they get their periods every month, would tend to take it a lot harder emotionally. The ones who make a career of getting knocked up and having baybees, let "God plan their famblees", and who have never used birth control, would likely see menopause as the end to their careers, much like an executive who retired after 30 years might. The difference of course being that the executive would have been (and continue to be) a contributing member of society and have something to show for it that didn't involve shit, piss, and vomit cleaning of a second generation replicant.

KK, I'm just curious...did you know that woman who's got 18 kids (her name escapes me just now), actually USED birth control pills for a few years?! After they had one I think, she went on them so they could get in a better financial situation before they had more (reasonably smart), then got knocked-up while on them anyway and saw that as a 'sign from God' that BC was wrong. Been breeding like rats ever since.

str8six Wrote:
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> KK, I'm just curious...did you know that woman
> who's got 18 kids (her name escapes me just now),
> actually USED birth control pills for a few
> years?! After they had one I think, she went on
> them so they could get in a better financial
> situation before they had more (reasonably smart),
> then got knocked-up while on them anyway and saw
> that as a 'sign from God' that BC was wrong. Been
> breeding like rats ever since.

Yeah, I read about that. When they first got married she was on the pill until they "could afford kyds" and she got knocked up and miscarried. It was at that time that a "Christian" doctor informed her that the pill was an abortifacient which caused them IMMEASURABLE emotional distress and religious anguish. It was at that time that MICHELLE (he claims it has always been HER decision and choice to sprog) decided to let "God plan her famblee". She is only 42 or 43 years of age and if this one that oozes out in January doesn't split her uterus into, you can BET that she will be good for 3-4 more before menopause stops the insanity.

There's an old racist joke that goes, "Why did God invent orgasm", with the punchline being, "So that _______'s (insert racist stereotype of your choice) will know when to stop fucking". The same could be said for menopause and about why God created it. "So religious fundies would know it's time to stop shitting out baybees"

In my experience, a coworker who is CF went through menopause with the mind set of relief and freedom from the whole reproductive issues. She said she never had any issues, and barely noticed any side effects. Now my MIL went through menopause and she cracked up, she was so distraught about being useless as she phrased it, because she could no longer reproduce, that it made her mental. She broke down and freaked out about it, she actually felt as if her life was over because she could not longer be useful.
I think as with most things in life, it is about 10% what happens to you and 90% how you take it.

T wo
H ousehold
I ncome
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K ids
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R etirement

Weird. Personally I can't wait until I start the menopause, I'm going to throw a party the day the doc tells me that. Yet I had a friend who was rabidly CF, and started menopause early (just after turning 40), probably due to a whole heap of other health issues she had. She was distraught when they told her. I couldn't figure it out - she hated kids and never wanted any, so why the drama? I guess it's just human nature to want the choice, even if you never use it.

I can totally see that mentally, a CF woman would view menopause as a relief. I know I will. Physically, it's one of those things where you can never know how you're going to react until it happens. My mother had a pretty easy time, but I had a friend who would sweat puddles every night for nearly three years - not fun.

> str8six Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> There's an old racist joke that goes, "Why did God
> invent orgasm", with the punchline being, "So that
> _______'s (insert racist stereotype of your
> choice) will know when to stop fucking". The same
> could be said for menopause and about why God
> created it. "So religious fundies would know it's
> time to stop shitting out baybees"

Oh, there's my LOL for the day, right there!!!!

I'm in menopause and cf!

there are times it sucks, but i drink tons of good organic soy milk (edensoy) and eat lots of tofu. i also drink lots of black tea.

about as bad as it gets is some hot flashes, but i dont get those too often, the soy is the reason why, and also the reason why asian women have less of a problem with menopause, soy soy soy! and not the over processed shit like soy burgers people. Stuff like raw miso, tofu and soy milk, this is where its at for menopause.

I am in surgically induced menopause. I had a total hysterectomy a few months ago. It's surgery I should have had at least 20 years ago, but you know why it didn't happen: in a nutshell, fucktard doctors who refuse to believe a woman who has no need for her uterus. (And I'll add a thump to movie star sluts who breed in their 50's--HOLLY HUNTER AND GENA DAVIS, YOU EMPTY-HEADED TWATS--I'M TALKING TO YOU!)

I lived for years with miserable periods and constant bleeding. I had polycystic ovary disease, endometriosis and a strong family history of endometrial and ovarian cancer. Doctors were more than willing to give me a lap and a D&C every two years for bleeding. Truthfully, all they wanted to do was keep me healthy until I Changed My Mind(TM), meaning a big L&D bill for them or more $ for fertility treatments. It's disgraceful, really. If it were my gall bladder, it would have been gone by age 25.

The endometriosis was all over my bowels and it was inoperable. It hurt to walk. I had THREE surgeons, two to remove my uterus, ovaries and tubes, and another one reconstruct my bladder. My uterus and rectum were stuck together. I had a vertical incision and 18 sets of staples.

Despite this, I went back to work at 6 weeks and I was back on the road for business travel at 8 weeks. I feel fabulous. I haven't taken estrogen yet because I see no need. I do think there is something to the fact that women who define themselves by their parts and collapse into despair when their uteri don't work anymore. I think it's very telling. Doesn't parunthood mean you eventually work yourself out of a job? Your kids are supposed to grow up and you go back to your life. But because these women have lost any identity that doesn't involve their womb, they can't deal.

I also DESPISE the crunchy-granola, Earth Mooother types who rhapsodize over their female parts and go into hysterics at the very thought of a hysterectomy. I stopped speaking to one friend over it. I hadn't spoken to her in six months, and out of the blue she sent me an e-mail telling me her N.D. said she could "cure" me (sight unseen) when she heard I was going to have a hysterectomy. She asked me to PLEASE TALK TO HER before I did so. Instead I blocked her e-mails. My ex friend is seeing this name N.D. and had to stop working due to her health. I think she needs to concentrate on herself rather than freak out because someone is having a hysterectomy.

My conclusion about these hippy-dippy Earth Mother types? Those bitches must not have bled the way I did. I bet if they have lived in my body for a couple of months, they would have been at the doctor's office pronto.

Back to topic: I drink soy, take black kohosh every day, and I also use a topical cream called tri-gesterone. It has progesterone, DHEA a little testosterone. I've not had any hot flashes yet in 3.5 months. I should also mention I eat lots of organic fruits and vegetables and I have a healthful diet. No caffeine, very little alcohol, no red meat.

I am convinced that surgery saved my life. Or at least it made my life a whole lot more tolerable. It's been a blessing.

Bell, sorry to hear about all those problems. As for the doctors, sometimes I think it depends on the luck of the draw. My grandmother on me dahs side died of ovarian cancer, my grandmother had a hysterectomy around age 50 or so, my mom always was 'heavy', and I, eventually I developed an ovarian cyst, and the gyn who had to 'put me under' to get a sample (because I had never had a kid, he coudln't get the cervix dilated enough) ... he also took the liberty of 'cleaning me out' as I also had fibroids. He offered to do a hysterectomy, take out the one ovary (he thought it would have been best to leave th other for hormones): my choice (I left them there... I always wonder if I should have taken him up on the offer.)
I am obviously going through the change now. Mostly hot flashes (they are still going on even though this whole farce of a cycle started flickering out 3 years ago). It will dry up the fibroids, and I think the cyst also went away.
I mentioned the gyn's offer on occasion on other chats and I did get the comment 'but you won't be able to have kyds...'. I just replied I was 42 years old, I did NOT want any buggers, so I wouldn't give a damn to lose the stinking organ and put an end to the monthly crap.

Like someone else here said, it depends on where these womens identity lie. If it is totally screwed into their reproductive tract they are damned...uh, doomed. Others accept it and move on. some go whacko (I think my own mom did, even though it wasn't due to baby rabies). Good riddance to a piece of bad rubbish.