Single Men Turning to Surrogates (article)
Posted by kidlesskim
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Single Men Turning to Surrogates (article) December 28, 2008 |
"Single men turning to surrogates"
Most such fathers are gay, but straight men use surrogacy as well
Clay Aiken, Ricky Martin are high-profile single dads who used surrogates
Surrogate doesn't provide egg, making it less likely she'll see child as hers Berke
CNN Senior Producer
NEW YORK (CNN) -- Jeff Walker says from as far back as he can remember, he always wanted to be a father.
Jeff Walker, with his two daughters, tried to adopt, but ultimately turned to surogacy to build a family.
"It was always something I knew, from the time I was a child." Just like his 3-year-old daughter, Elizabeth, who says she wants to be a mommy someday, Jeff says, "I knew I wanted to be a daddy."
Walker, a Manhattan music executive, says he and his partner had talked about adopting a baby years ago. But after three emotionally draining, failed attempts at adoption, they decided to turn to surrogacy. They contacted Circle Surrogacy, a Boston agency that specializes in gay clients. Their child was conceived with a donor egg, and then the embryo implanted in the surrogate, or carrier.
After Elizabeth was born, Walker and his partner separated. He then made a critical decision -- to become a dad again, single, and by choice.
"I realized my family, my two-dad family was going to look different than I thought it was going to look," he said. Without a partner, he would face even steeper challenges raising Elizabeth and a sibling alone. Walker says he gave the decision a lot of thought.
"That was the only part that was really controversial, because I do think there are a lot of challenges that single parents face, but at the same time I felt I was capable of handling those challenges," he said.
His second daughter, Alexandra, was born two years ago to the same surrogate, implanted with an egg from a different donor.
Walker, 45, is one of a growing number of single men -- both gay and straight -- who are opting to become fathers alone, with the help of gestational surrogacy.
CNN American Morning »
Surrogacy experts say because the practice is not regulated, many surrogacy arrangements are handled privately by individuals. Precise figures are hard to come by, but experts say there's no doubt the United States is experiencing a surrogacy baby boom.
Celebrities like Ricky Martin and Clay Aiken announced this year they had had babies with the help of surrogates and the the Society for Assisted Reproductive Technology, representing scores of reproductive clinics, reports that the number of gestational surrogate births in the country quadrupled between 1996 and 2006.
»
Surrogacy experts say gestational surrogacy has increased steadily since the advent of in vitro fertilization in the early 1980s, because it provides an extra layer of emotional and legal protection for the client. The egg donor usually does not even know the client, and unlike the legally contentious "Baby M" case from the 1980s, the surrogate is not giving birth to her genetic child.
"It rises as an issue far less frequently with gestational surrogacy, because women never see it as their child to begin with," said John Weltman, president of Circle Surrogacy.
His agency, which expects more than 70 babies to be born in 2009, has seen a 50 percent growth in the number of single male clients over the past year.
Walker and other men are willing to pay well over $100,000 to have a baby through surrogacy -- the final cost depending on the number of IVF treatments necessary and how much is paid by insurance.
Circle is not the only major surrogacy provider experiencing a single-dad surge. At Growing Generations, a Los Angeles, California, agency that facilitates about 100 births a year, the number of single men seeking surrogates has doubled in the past three years, spokeswoman Erica Bowers said.
Although most of their single male clients are gay, surrogacy providers say a smaller but growing number are straight. Steven Harris, a New York malpractice and personal-injury attorney, says he gave up trying to get married when he realized his primary motive was to start a family.
Harris, 54, says he knew he made the right decision after 21-month old Ben was born.
"I thought getting married was the only way to go, because I did want a family. But having Ben, I feel complete now," Harris says. "
Why are they pounding the , "STRAIGHT men want to be single dads too.........." angle on this? Are they trying to drum up business, expand their client base by making straight men feel "ok" about wanting to be single dads, or making this "gay" IVF thing more palatable to religious types so it's therefore more socially acceptable? I couldn't help but notice that message which they were sending and wonder why. I wouldn't say either that 70 anticipated IVF baybess created in a year for single men who desire to be dads could be considered any type of "surge" or huge number either, in comparison to straight couple IVF procedures. The $100k pricetag for a self replicant would also seem to be out of reach for the average man, gay OR straight (lol) wishing to become a single daddy too. I would bet that the man mentioned there at the end, 54 years old, never married, high powered and busy New York lawyer, was probably the ONLY alleged "straight" male client that they had, assuming he isn't in the closet.
Let's face it; It stands to reason that there would be just as high a percentage of breeders (or breeder wannabees) in the gay population as straight, but their options (especially for the males) are a lot less numerous than a straight male's would be. There are FAR FEWER straight male breeder wannabees (I would put that figure at close to zero) who would not be able to easily find a breeder wannabee woman to spawn his bastard. Therefore, "straight" men would never be a very large part of their clientele, so why are they even mentioning it? It says right in the beginning that they "specialize" in gay surrogacy, so why the need to mention that about straight men as well? I think that this is one of those subtle breederific things that was mentioned on another thread about the elderly coupled killed in the house fire. It's a subtle way that breeder news reporters and their breederific papers can sorta "slide" it in on society that ALL people, large and small, black, brown or white, male/famale/TG/BI/Gay OR straight ALL want "one of their own".
One other thing that I am just not buying is all of this "emotional drain" with these "failed adoptions". Why would adoptions "fail" so often when there are HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS of adoptable children in The US alone? Even in the state of Kentucky, home of the religious Southern Baptists, being gay is NOT anything which would keep a person from adopting or fostering a child, so THAT'S not it. This man has a home, a successful career, he looks like a nice looking enough man, and he has some money, so WHY couldn't he adopt? I think that he can, but just not perhaps the "kind" of child that he wanted; He wanted a light skinned and perhaps bi-racial child who looked like him (that should have been easy enough), but you can BET that he wanted a HEALTHY INFANT, not a crack addicted one, or an older one with "special needs". In conclusion, gay breeders are JUST like straight breeders. They want self replicants and they want HEALTHY INFANTS, and STRAIGHT men can keep on humpin' away until they get a whole school busload from which to choose and by a vast array of baybee mamas.
Therefore straight single men would NOT often be paying 100k to any surrogate mother type business, and quite frankly, I doubt very many single gay men will either. Apparently this gay man's self replicant didn't go over very well with his partner either, since his leaving coincided with the birth of that first one. I wish the media would tell the truth: Not EVERYONE desires to create a self replicant, whether they are gay OR straight.
A barely noticed comment: "I thought getting married was the only way to go, because I did want a family. But having Ben, I feel complete now," Harris says. "
I have NEVER heard ANY man, gay or straight, say something like this. Also, "I feel complete now" in the context of having had a kyd, is a very non heterosexual male thing to say too. I HATE to be lied to by the media and this article is full of lies, IMHO.
Most such fathers are gay, but straight men use surrogacy as well
Clay Aiken, Ricky Martin are high-profile single dads who used surrogates
Surrogate doesn't provide egg, making it less likely she'll see child as hers Berke
CNN Senior Producer
NEW YORK (CNN) -- Jeff Walker says from as far back as he can remember, he always wanted to be a father.
Jeff Walker, with his two daughters, tried to adopt, but ultimately turned to surogacy to build a family.
"It was always something I knew, from the time I was a child." Just like his 3-year-old daughter, Elizabeth, who says she wants to be a mommy someday, Jeff says, "I knew I wanted to be a daddy."
Walker, a Manhattan music executive, says he and his partner had talked about adopting a baby years ago. But after three emotionally draining, failed attempts at adoption, they decided to turn to surrogacy. They contacted Circle Surrogacy, a Boston agency that specializes in gay clients. Their child was conceived with a donor egg, and then the embryo implanted in the surrogate, or carrier.
After Elizabeth was born, Walker and his partner separated. He then made a critical decision -- to become a dad again, single, and by choice.
"I realized my family, my two-dad family was going to look different than I thought it was going to look," he said. Without a partner, he would face even steeper challenges raising Elizabeth and a sibling alone. Walker says he gave the decision a lot of thought.
"That was the only part that was really controversial, because I do think there are a lot of challenges that single parents face, but at the same time I felt I was capable of handling those challenges," he said.
His second daughter, Alexandra, was born two years ago to the same surrogate, implanted with an egg from a different donor.
Walker, 45, is one of a growing number of single men -- both gay and straight -- who are opting to become fathers alone, with the help of gestational surrogacy.
CNN American Morning »
Surrogacy experts say because the practice is not regulated, many surrogacy arrangements are handled privately by individuals. Precise figures are hard to come by, but experts say there's no doubt the United States is experiencing a surrogacy baby boom.
Celebrities like Ricky Martin and Clay Aiken announced this year they had had babies with the help of surrogates and the the Society for Assisted Reproductive Technology, representing scores of reproductive clinics, reports that the number of gestational surrogate births in the country quadrupled between 1996 and 2006.
»
Surrogacy experts say gestational surrogacy has increased steadily since the advent of in vitro fertilization in the early 1980s, because it provides an extra layer of emotional and legal protection for the client. The egg donor usually does not even know the client, and unlike the legally contentious "Baby M" case from the 1980s, the surrogate is not giving birth to her genetic child.
"It rises as an issue far less frequently with gestational surrogacy, because women never see it as their child to begin with," said John Weltman, president of Circle Surrogacy.
His agency, which expects more than 70 babies to be born in 2009, has seen a 50 percent growth in the number of single male clients over the past year.
Walker and other men are willing to pay well over $100,000 to have a baby through surrogacy -- the final cost depending on the number of IVF treatments necessary and how much is paid by insurance.
Circle is not the only major surrogacy provider experiencing a single-dad surge. At Growing Generations, a Los Angeles, California, agency that facilitates about 100 births a year, the number of single men seeking surrogates has doubled in the past three years, spokeswoman Erica Bowers said.
Although most of their single male clients are gay, surrogacy providers say a smaller but growing number are straight. Steven Harris, a New York malpractice and personal-injury attorney, says he gave up trying to get married when he realized his primary motive was to start a family.
Harris, 54, says he knew he made the right decision after 21-month old Ben was born.
"I thought getting married was the only way to go, because I did want a family. But having Ben, I feel complete now," Harris says. "
Why are they pounding the , "STRAIGHT men want to be single dads too.........." angle on this? Are they trying to drum up business, expand their client base by making straight men feel "ok" about wanting to be single dads, or making this "gay" IVF thing more palatable to religious types so it's therefore more socially acceptable? I couldn't help but notice that message which they were sending and wonder why. I wouldn't say either that 70 anticipated IVF baybess created in a year for single men who desire to be dads could be considered any type of "surge" or huge number either, in comparison to straight couple IVF procedures. The $100k pricetag for a self replicant would also seem to be out of reach for the average man, gay OR straight (lol) wishing to become a single daddy too. I would bet that the man mentioned there at the end, 54 years old, never married, high powered and busy New York lawyer, was probably the ONLY alleged "straight" male client that they had, assuming he isn't in the closet.Let's face it; It stands to reason that there would be just as high a percentage of breeders (or breeder wannabees) in the gay population as straight, but their options (especially for the males) are a lot less numerous than a straight male's would be. There are FAR FEWER straight male breeder wannabees (I would put that figure at close to zero) who would not be able to easily find a breeder wannabee woman to spawn his bastard. Therefore, "straight" men would never be a very large part of their clientele, so why are they even mentioning it? It says right in the beginning that they "specialize" in gay surrogacy, so why the need to mention that about straight men as well? I think that this is one of those subtle breederific things that was mentioned on another thread about the elderly coupled killed in the house fire. It's a subtle way that breeder news reporters and their breederific papers can sorta "slide" it in on society that ALL people, large and small, black, brown or white, male/famale/TG/BI/Gay OR straight ALL want "one of their own".
One other thing that I am just not buying is all of this "emotional drain" with these "failed adoptions". Why would adoptions "fail" so often when there are HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS of adoptable children in The US alone? Even in the state of Kentucky, home of the religious Southern Baptists, being gay is NOT anything which would keep a person from adopting or fostering a child, so THAT'S not it. This man has a home, a successful career, he looks like a nice looking enough man, and he has some money, so WHY couldn't he adopt? I think that he can, but just not perhaps the "kind" of child that he wanted; He wanted a light skinned and perhaps bi-racial child who looked like him (that should have been easy enough), but you can BET that he wanted a HEALTHY INFANT, not a crack addicted one, or an older one with "special needs". In conclusion, gay breeders are JUST like straight breeders. They want self replicants and they want HEALTHY INFANTS, and STRAIGHT men can keep on humpin' away until they get a whole school busload from which to choose and by a vast array of baybee mamas.
Therefore straight single men would NOT often be paying 100k to any surrogate mother type business, and quite frankly, I doubt very many single gay men will either. Apparently this gay man's self replicant didn't go over very well with his partner either, since his leaving coincided with the birth of that first one. I wish the media would tell the truth: Not EVERYONE desires to create a self replicant, whether they are gay OR straight.
A barely noticed comment: "I thought getting married was the only way to go, because I did want a family. But having Ben, I feel complete now," Harris says. " I have NEVER heard ANY man, gay or straight, say something like this. Also, "I feel complete now" in the context of having had a kyd, is a very non heterosexual male thing to say too. I HATE to be lied to by the media and this article is full of lies, IMHO.Sorry, only registered users may post in this forum.