Reason 1,444,666,888,999,001

Yet another reason I am thankful I am not a moo.
My sister is home from college for 5 weeks, mom and dad are pissed she won't get a job to help pay for some of her expenses. Mom calls me complaining about sister and sister calls me complaining about mom. Dad comes to visit at my house for hours on end, because he can't stand the bickering.
I finally told mom and sis, to take up the complaints with each other and work it out. That I am not a Magic 8 Ball, I do not have all the answers.I also told dad he needs to stop the bickering, he pays all the bills and has final say in finances.

I am so glad I do not have kids.

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R etirement

Excellent. Tell them both to leave you out of it.
I've heard of this sort of garbage before: don't let them draw you in, and don't let dad mope all over you either.

two cents ¢¢

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong

Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children.

The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke

Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.

OMG, that sounds exactly like my family! My sister transferred colleges and got her own place though, so that problem has gotten better. But like you, I'd get calls from the parents about sister, calls from sister about the parents, and it drove me to the brink of insanity.

Did you really tell them you're not a magic 8 ball, lol? That is hilarious! Anyway, I hope they give you some peace and work it out amongst themselves. If you don't mind me asking, what's the age difference between you and your sis? Just curious is all. Me and mine are almost 15 years apart.

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twocents
Excellent. Tell them both to leave you out of it.
I've heard of this sort of garbage before: don't let them draw you in, and don't let dad mope all over you either.

I am flattered that both mom, dad, and sis feel I am trustworthy and that they can come to me for advice and support, but I want it to be for advice and support, I don't want to be the go between while they sort out their differences.

Being the oldest can sometimes be a PIA.

T wo
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BratfreeGirl
OMG, that sounds exactly like my family! My sister transferred colleges and got her own place though, so that problem has gotten better. But like you, I'd get calls from the parents about sister, calls from sister about the parents, and it drove me to the brink of insanity.

Did you really tell them you're not a magic 8 ball, lol? That is hilarious! Anyway, I hope they give you some peace and work it out amongst themselves. If you don't mind me asking, what's the age difference between you and your sis? Just curious is all. Me and mine are almost 15 years apart.

I am 36, there is 18 years between us. I also have a brother who is 13 years younger than me and a brother who is 8 years younger than me.
I told them I am not a Magic 8 Ball, they all laughed at it.

T wo
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R etirement

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annie35

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twocents
Excellent. Tell them both to leave you out of it.
I've heard of this sort of garbage before: don't let them draw you in, and don't let dad mope all over you either.

I am flattered that both mom, dad, and sis feel I am trustworthy and that they can come to me for advice and support, but I want it to be for advice and support, I don't want to be the go between while they sort out their differences.

Being the oldest can sometimes be a PIA.

I am glad you feel that way.
However, I don't think it is because they feel you are trustworthy that they come to you. I don't know how to describe it, but I don't think it is respect they are giving you when they call up and kvetch.

two cents ¢¢

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong

Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children.

The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke

Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.

"Boomerang" kyds, those who come back home for extended periods after they are adults, ESPECIALLY when they have their own young kyds in tow, is a very good reason to add to the list of reasons not to self replicate. If Annie's sister is just there for a few weeks to basically hang out until the next term starts and it causes all of these problems, just imagine if she was coming back at age 25 with two kyds in tow, indefinately??? NOT that I needed much of a push, but this discussion came up between me and my ex husband regarding his daughter when she was about 15. I had told him that if she happened to turn out like her mother and began spewing out baybees, that I would NOT take them in to raise or even to live at our house. He then said that HE would "take them in" and I wouldn't have to "do anything". OK, that was just about all I could take, since it was basically what he had said after he filed for and got custody of his kyd 30 minutes after we married, which was OF COURSE a great big fat lie, which I brought back up again too.

THEN, after that fight died out after a time, the subject of her going away to college was discussed. From the very beginning it was told to me that she would be going to a Vet school which was 2 hours away and living on campus, she had excitedly spoke of it often throughout the years. Lately though, she had begun talking about maybe "staying at home" and going to a city college instead, so she could be closer to her 1/2 brother, who still lived with it's moomie at age 21, was a diagnosed schizophrenic, and just plain weird as all get out. When this talk of "staying at home" came about, it completely caught me off guard and made me VERY uncomfortable. I was practically counting down the days in my head when she would be leaving, which is probably what made her bring it up because I guess she could sense my delight that it was only just 2 years, 7 months, 16 days, 13 hours 18 minutes and 3 seconds and counting, till she would finally be moving out. I already had plans on making her bedroom into an office and shoving her a twin bed in the corner, for visits. THE VERY THOUGHT of adding at least 4 years, and possibly as many as 8 or TEN YEARS to my sentence, after having come so close to freedom, was more than I could bear.

I would have to say that the fear of a "boomerang" kyd was in the top ten reasons of why I divorced this last time and was instrumental in my becoming and remaining CF. Of course, anyone else would surmise that I was selfish. I packed up and left about a month after that "conversation" and it was then that I knew the true meaning of peace.

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twocents

I am glad you feel that way.
However, I don't think it is because they feel you are trustworthy that they come to you. I don't know how to describe it, but I don't think it is respect they are giving you when they call up and kvetch.

I gotta go with 2 cents on this one.

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I am 36, there is 18 years between us. I also have a brother who is 13 years younger than me and a brother who is 8 years younger than me. I told them I am not a Magic 8 Ball, they all laughed at it.

Wow, Annie... Talk about generational differences. Looks like they've served their purpose as the constant reminder of your smart decisions....

The "magic 8 ball" comment was a good way to extricate yourself from the middle with tactful humor...were it me, I'd be very wary (and even more weary) of being the person everyone complained to; as was said I'd suggest they work it out themselves.