Anonymous User
Will YOU die alone? January 01, 2009 |
Well, I hope the lady who posted the question high tails it to the sperm bank!Quote
What should I do if after 3 years my boyfriend is not ready to make plans for future?
You want marriage, you want children and if he's not going to do this for you, then you can find it with someone else.
It wouldn't hurt to tell him he'll probably "die alone" when you leave this time...
Quote
Well, while some of us have been worrying, others are working to create a community-based model for people, particularly those who live alone, to band together and take care of each other. It’s called the Caring Collaborative, piloted in New York City last fall with plans for replication, and it’s the latest innovative project of The Transition Network, a membership organization of 5,000 women crossing the Rubicon from careers to retirement and from youth to old age.
-snip-
Reluctance to ask for favors, according to many fiercely independent people, whether they live alone or with a partner, is the biggest obstacle to getting help when they need it. But the experience of caring for elderly parents, in a health care system that counts on a huge cadre of family caregivers, makes them open and eager for a solution that accounts for their particular life experience.
A few years back, after a diagnosis of thyroid cancer, surgery and unexpected complications, one of T.T.N.’s founders, 73-year-old Charlotte Frank, a former executive at The Port Authority of New York and New Jersey, had friends step forward to pick up her prescriptions, accompany her to doctors’ appointments, put casseroles in her freezer and drop off smoothies. But, Ms. Frank said, “if I had had to ask for help it would have been difficult.†At around the same time another Transition Network member had her own health scare, breaking a leg and lying in bed without help for 24 hours rather than bother her daughter or her neighbors.
Re: Will YOU die alone? January 01, 2009 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 2,301 |
Anonymous User
Re: Will YOU die alone? January 01, 2009 |
D'oh! How could I forget spouses?! Yep, those CFers who have spouses will also have them in addition to friends and family when they need someone to help them out.Quote
MerlynHerne
I don't think I have to worry about dying alone. I have a very devoted husband I KNOW will be there for me when the time comes.
Re: Will YOU die alone? January 01, 2009 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 12,447 |
Re: Will YOU die alone? January 01, 2009 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 2,301 |
Re: Will YOU die alone? January 01, 2009 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 5,275 |
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Re: Will YOU die alone? January 02, 2009 | Registered: 19 years ago Posts: 4,402 |
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Gigabyte
Re: Will YOU die alone? January 02, 2009 |
Re: Will YOU die alone? January 02, 2009 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 5,275 |
The Phan
Re: Will YOU die alone? January 02, 2009 |
Anonymous User
Re: Will YOU die alone? January 02, 2009 |
Re: Will YOU die alone? January 02, 2009 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 12,447 |
Re: Will YOU die alone? January 04, 2009 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 1,431 |
Cheese Louise
Re: Will YOU die alone? January 04, 2009 |
Re: Will YOU die alone? January 04, 2009 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 3,846 |
Quote
MerlynHerne
Yeah I wouldn't mind getting in on this myself. I think it's great!
I don't think I have to worry about dying alone. I have a very devoted husband I KNOW will be there for me when the time comes. If I had not married him and had had kids from a previous marriage, I couldn't count on them being there for me--I was in health care for 25 years before retiring and I can tell you that I witnessed scores of people over the years just dumped in a nursing home and left to die.
Cheese Louise
Re: Will YOU die alone? January 04, 2009 |
Giselle
Re: Will YOU die alone? January 04, 2009 |
Re: Will YOU die alone? January 04, 2009 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 1,431 |
Re: Will YOU die alone? January 04, 2009 | Registered: 15 years ago Posts: 12,447 |
Quote
Amethyst
Sorry to hear about your loss, Louise! I think you are right, that you're just at the beginning of your cycle of grieving right now. But I also think that you are not living in denial -- you know nature takes its course whether we like it or not.
I think most parents - being self-centred - think ahead to their own dramatic scenarios and believe and wish that, when the time comes, their deaths will forever wreak havoc in the lives of all those around them. How 'loving' is that?! They imagine dozens of people will be gathered around their bed, wailing and pleading. After they go, they think their children (at any age) won't cease weeping for decades, their spouses will shrivel up and die too, and they will achieve legendary status amongst the family stories. Maybe there will be a family shrine built and dedicated to them, with a glossy 8x10 photo of themselves at the centre of it. And everyone will come and light candles at it, every week, for generations.
What a load of selfish bullshit.
Because when it really does happen, and the time really does come for dying, people drop all that hyperbolic, selfish drama. They realise it's not a game anymore and it's not about winning. It's not about garnering special attention and trying forever to be at the centre of everyone else's lives. It's a time for modesty, humility and privacy -- three things that selfish parents aren't particularly good at and probably haven't displayed since they became parents.
Re: Will YOU die alone? January 04, 2009 | Registered: 16 years ago Posts: 4,532 |
walflower
Re: Will YOU die alone? January 04, 2009 |