Waiter Rant: A Relevant Entry from a Blog I Read

I just finished reading his book. I'm not finished reading the blog; working my way from the past to the present & came across this entry. There have been some semi-breeder-pleasing entries up to this point, but not so bad that they contaminate the whole blog. This is a good entry:

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http://waiterrant.net/?p=370
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Its the tail end of the lunch shift. I pretend to watch the office girls walking past the front window as I eavesdrop on two of my customers. I know thats not very polite but its an interesting conversation. Besides, Im bored.

“I don’t know,” the younger of the two men says. “I thought Id be happier at this stage in my life.”

“Whats the problem?” the older man sitting across from him asks. “You’ve already made all the money you’re ever going to need.”

“Yeah,”the younger man says sadly. “But being rich inst all I thought it was cracked up to be.”

“It never is.”

Theres a long pause. Finally the younger man says. “My wife’s upset that we don’t have children. The doctors say we probably can’t.”

“How old’s your wife?”

“40.”

“And you’re?”

“The same age.”

“Did you think about adopting?”

“My wife doesn’t want to raise somebody else’s children.”

I can see the two men reflected in the window. The older of the two men, a grey haired successful looking type, purses his lips and thinks about what he’s going to say next. I like when people think about what they’re going to say. It means they care.

“Listen,” the older man says. “So you may never have children. What does that mean for you?”

“I don’t know,” the younger man says.

“Are you, like, big into carrying on the family name?”

“My parents are dead. My sister has children. So……”

“Will it kill you not to have kids?”

“No.”

The older man leans back in his chair. After a long pause he says, “Sometimes you have to exploit the negatives in your life. That may be how you have to look at this.”

My ears perk up. This conversation’s solid gold.

“Exploit the negative?” the younger man asks.

“You and your wife probably cant have children of your own and you don’t want to adopt. Some people would say that’a a negative, right?”

“Yes.”

“But not having children means you and your wife are free to do other things. You can travel, explore business opportunities, go to school – you’re not tied down. Theres a positive side to not having kids.”

“That sounds kind of cynical.”

“Not at all,” the older man says. “I have three girls. I love them to death. They’ve given me a bunch of grandchildren I adore. But any parent, if they’re honest, will tell you that there are negatives to having children.”

“You wouldn’t do it over again?”

“I wouldn’t change a thing,” the older man says. “But thats the way my life worked out. Your life may be different. Are you comparing your life to other peoples? People with kids?”

“Yeah.”

“Your life may not work out the same way. And if you don’t live your life as it really is — you’re heading for trouble.”

“Maybe.”

“All I’m saying is this,” the older man says. “You have to look at the empty spaces in your life, see the possibilities, and turn them into opportunities.”

As I’m listening a quote from Sun Tzu floats into my head. “Go into emptiness, strike voids, bypass what he defends, hit him where he does not expect you.”

“So you wont have kids,” the older man continues, “But you have a lot of money. Millions. Maybe not having children will give you the time and freedom to use that money to help thousands of kids somewhere. When I was your age I was hustling to pay for braces. I couldn’t spare a dime to charity.”

“You have a point there,” the younger man admits.

“Your life’s going to be what its going to be. But when you’re stuck my advice is to look inside the negative parts of your life for inspiration.”

“Lemons into lemonade?” the young man says, laughing softly.

“No,” the older man says. “If everyone tried following their bliss everyone would be trying to get to the same place at the same time. It’d be a fucking traffic jam. But since no one likes going into the negative theres more room for opportunity – less competition, less traffic.”

“I think I see what you’re talking about,” the younger man says.

There’s a lot of truth in what the older man’s saying. Frustrated with being a waiter I blogged about my experiences on the internet. Exploiting that negative allowed me to uncover opportunities I never would have dreamed possible for myself. I struck into a void, bypassed obstacles, and hit my enemy where he least expected it. Who’s my enemy you ask? Why myself of course.

The two men finish their coffees, pay the check, and leave. I go outside to catch a breath of fresh air. I watch the younger man climb into an Aston Martin and drive away. As I stand on the sidewalk I think about what makes people happy. Kids? Money? Sex? Power? The right job? A nice address? Many people looking at my life would say I’ve made all the wrong choices. Sometimes I think they’re right. The demons of loneliness and failure are never far from me. But, in my less anxious moments, I realize my life is probably unfolding as it should. Screw what other people think of me.

Sometimes, for some people, the only way is the wrong way.

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"I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell"

:eatu

That older man was probably also a real parent, not just the pretend ones we all despise.

two cents ¢¢

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong

Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children.

The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke

Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.

I like what the old man said and dislike it at the same time. On the one hand he is offering thoughtful advice, which can only come from someone who has experienced life longer than the one listening to it. He is also being honest about how his own life unfolded due to his personal choices, which is refreshing. On the other hand, it sounds like he is implying that not having or being able to have children is some sort of a lemon which needs to be turned into lemonade, or that it's a "negative". He could mean that society perceives childlessness/CF as a "negative" (which of course it does) but that it can to be turned into a positive for the individuals who either chose it or by fate, have to live life without their own kyds, which I agree with somewhat. However, the bottom line is that if these two have waited until they are beyond 40 to get her baybee oven checked out and acquire the GE stamp of approval for operational safety, then they must not be all that concerned with having kyds in the first place, so why is he fretting in the 11th hour?


Also, if they can't adopt because they could, "never raise someone else's kyd", then they don't have the capacity to truly love and raise a child for the right reasons anyway, REGARDLESS of it's DNA origins, IMO. PLENTY of CF have the capacity to love another being to the level that a PNB would have for it's young and it wouldn't have to be "our own" for us to feel and give that kind of love either, I don't believe. (at least that's true for me) but what they can't get through their fucking heads is that we simply DO NOT want "children of our own", OR adopted kyds to raise for as many different reasons as there are people AND we have the guts to admit it! These people who HAVE to "have one of their own" and snub adoption are TOO SELFISH to be a good parent anyway. One study which I would absolutely LOVE to see done is one where the parent who raised the child THOUGHT it was their biological kyd for a number of years, but who inadvertantly found out later that it was NOT their genetic kyd. I would like to know what their reactions would be and what their attitude toward "raising someone else's kyd" was before they raised the one who they thought was their "own", AND after they found out. I feel reasonably certain that I could predict the breakdown of the results with some accuracy.


The routineness of DNA testing, the rarity of hospital mixups, and the limited number of known IVF scams or mistakes where moomie has had the wrong zygote implanted, has made the pool of potential test subjects for my hypothetical study rather slim. However, there is probably a shitload of "oopsed" fathers (prior to DNA testing) with grown kyds who found out at a later time that these were not their genetic kyds who could be questioned. There are also current cases now where the named baybee daddy is finding out several years later through DNA testing that he is NOT the baybee daddy afterall. The study/research would be so so so SO much more accurate and representative of the attitudes if it was the MOOCOWS who had been deceived though, which may be one reason that they are so sanctimonious about it because they know the odds of their raising "someone else's" without their knowledge or consent is highly unlikely.


It's easy to "be certain" how you would feel about a "baybee mix up" when you are nearly 100% positive that it can NEVER happen to you.

The remark about not wanting to "raise someone else's kid" irked me too. But, you know some people think like that. It reminds me of people who want (instead of an "older" cat) a KITTEN so that they can "bond" with it. Well that just tells me that you won't like it when it's bigger. One way to screen people for (cat) adoptions is to say "We don't have any baby kittens, but we have ones that are under a year old" or whatever, and if they still fill out the application for an "older" cat, they would be considered if kittens become available (which they do, unfortunately, thus making it harder for the poor older ones). I don't have a problem "bonding" with my older cats... well, sometimes I NEVER bond with them because they are feral or whatever... And people wonder WHY I have so many of them.

Anyway, this is a blog I've enjoyed recently and I thought this was a good excuse to introduce it over here. I really like reading restaurant stories, but I wouldn't want to live them!

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"I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell"

:eatu

Quote
poofy_puff
The remark about not wanting to "raise someone else's kid" irked me too. But, you know some people think like that. It reminds me of people who want (instead of an "older" cat) a KITTEN so that they can "bond" with it. Well that just tells me that you won't like it when it's bigger. One way to screen people for (cat) adoptions is to say "We don't have any baby kittens, but we have ones that are under a year old" or whatever, and if they still fill out the application for an "older" cat, they would be considered if kittens become available (which they do, unfortunately, thus making it harder for the poor older ones). I don't have a problem "bonding" with my older cats... well, sometimes I NEVER bond with them because they are feral or whatever... And people wonder WHY I have so many of them.

Anyway, this is a blog I've enjoyed recently and I thought this was a good excuse to introduce it over here. I really like reading restaurant stories, but I wouldn't want to live them!

Then you would like StainedApron.com, although it is really an inactive rant site since it got sued and blasted all over the media for it's harsh "waiter stories", some of which involve revenge food contamination. However, it has some WONDERFUL restaurant worker rants from all aspects of the restaurant business from dishwashers, waitstaff, bartenders, cooks, and management. They also frequently name the restaurants too (which is one reason they got blasted) and the city where the shitty customer incidents and their retaliation(if any) took place. I especially like their forum that's called something like, "How to be a good customer 101", or something like that as it's realistic and pretty damned funny. There are plenty of shitty kiddie stories sprinkled about as well.

As for the "I want a kitten" people, I could sooner slap them across their faces than to look at them. I have adopted MANY older cats and I wouldn't say that I especially bonded with them any less than I have with some of the kittens. People often have this mistaken notion that you HAVE to raise something from near conception to be able to give and receive love, which is no more true for cats and kittens as it is for baybees and kyds. It's a selfish, immature, and mistaken concept for people to have, but many of them do. Those people do NOT deserve a baybee, OR a kitten. The ones who outright admit that they want a kitten over an older cat or baybee over a regular kyd, I don't hate as much as the ones who PRETEND it doesn't matter, but then qualify that with the truth. Such as, "I would really prefer a white, healthy, infant but ONLY BECAUSE it will fit in more easily with my famblee, so I am ONLY thinking of "the chlyd's" needs. If that isn't possible though, I will "take" (like it's a donut selection) a mixed race one or an older one, but do you think you could get me a healthy boy though? It's not that I don't want a girl later, I just want a boy first. I will "take" a girl though.", etc.............. The "other kyds" are CLEARLY their second (or third) choice and that makes me sick.

I HAVE seen The Stained Apronâ„¢! I found out about it from one of the CF forums when they linked to the bratty kydz section. I also found Customers Suckâ„¢ from a CF forum-link to a post about "sanctimonious parents".

http://www.stainedapron.com/brats.htm


http://www.customerssuck.com/board/showthread.php?t=18599

(Sometimes the URL doesn't work unless you are a registered user)

Sanctimonious parents:

This story comes from my boyfriend, who is a field technician for a major film company. This happened while on call at a local grocery store, while upgrading software for their photo department.

"So I'm at work today at a grocery store (I'm in the middle of doing a huge software update project at a regional grocery chain) and I have my laptop computer set up on a two-day service film drop box that's a few feet to the left of the photo kiosk I'm working on. A little boy (maybe 8-10 years old) walks over and starts messing with my computer and I tell him a few times 'hey, don't touch that.' He just ignores me and continues to mess with my computer, so I finish with what I'm doing and turn to face him and he has grabbed my laptop with both hands and is pulling it towards the edge. Now I'm getting mad, and I say in a raised voice 'hey kid, knock it off.' He lets go and runs away crying and my laptop nearly hits the floor before I was able to grab it, which was lucky as I'm responsible for my computer unless its taken away at gunpoint or is destroyed in a fire (etc.)

I place the computer back on the dropbox and look to the right, the little jerk and his mom are now coming over and she has a very pissed off look on her face. She asks me 'why did you yell at my son?' I explain the situation and told her that while I raised my voice, I did not yell at him, and that he was playing with my $1500 laptop and nearly broke it. She starts on some diatribe about how her son is a 'good boy' and wouldn't do that. I asked her if her son had broken my laptop if she would pay for the damages, and asked her why she lets him run around at the store. Now she lets loose with a tirade about how he's just a kid and doesn't know any better, and storms off saying she's going to report me to the manager.

So I think nothing of it and go back to work...about five minutes later the store manager walks over and taps me on my shoulder and wants to know who I am. I identify myself as a field tech with the store's film company and explain I'm upgrading the software on the kiosk. He tells me that I owe the lady an apology for screaming at her son and then telling her she needs to control her child. I tell him my side of the story and he says 'OK, I'm going to go check the security tape.' He leaves, and the mom stood next to the office door with a smirk on her face, shaking her head at me. I go back to work (again) and the manager comes out of his office a few minutes later and approaches the lady and says 'ma'am, I reviewed the security camera footage and everything the gentleman working on the computer said was true. If you're going to bring your children to the store with you you need to keep an eye on them. Now, if you don't have anymore shopping to do I'm going to ask you to leave' and turns around and goes back into his office.

The lady is now looking super-pissed and starts pounding on the door, saying she's going to call the Better Business Bureau and how she'll see him in court, etc. When it became obvious the manager wasn't coming out, she flips me off and storms out.

It just amazes me how parents today seem to think their children are entitled to do whatever they want, and if someone tells them 'no' they're the bad guy "

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"I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell"

:eatu

I wanted to talk about the cat-things separately:

What I REALLY hate is when people will or will not adopt a cat because of what its fur is like. They either want one EXACTLY like a cat they had that died, or they DON'T want one like the cat that died (let's be benevolent this time and assume that "the cat that died" died of old age). Or, when people want a short-haired cat because it "doesn't shed as much" as a long-haired cat. I know that YOU know there is no direct correlation between LENGTH of fur and maintenance. Some LH cats get dreadlocks if you look at them sideways, others are silky, smooth even if you never touch them with a brush or comb. In fact, LH cats actually "shed" LESS that SH cats because it stays balled up, falls off in clumps, and LH cats swallow more fur than how much gets "shed".... IF YOU DON'T WANT SAND IN YOUR ASS, STAY THE FUCK OFF THE BEACH, for chrissakes! AND THAT GOES QUADRUPLE FOR YOUR FUCKING-UGLY OVER-PRICED FURNITURE!

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"I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell"

:eatu

Quote
poofy_puff
I wanted to talk about the cat-things separately:

What I REALLY hate is when people will or will not adopt a cat because of what its fur is like. They either want one EXACTLY like a cat they had that died, or they DON'T want one like the cat that died (let's be benevolent this time and assume that "the cat that died" died of old age). Or, when people want a short-haired cat because it "doesn't shed as much" as a long-haired cat. I know that YOU know there is no direct correlation between LENGTH of fur and maintenance. Some LH cats get dreadlocks if you look at them sideways, others are silky, smooth even if you never touch them with a brush or comb. In fact, LH cats actually "shed" LESS that SH cats because it stays balled up, falls off in clumps, and LH cats swallow more fur than how much gets "shed".... IF YOU DON'T WANT SAND IN YOUR ASS, STAY THE FUCK OFF THE BEACH, for chrissakes! AND THAT GOES QUADRUPLE FOR YOUR FUCKING-UGLY OVER-PRICED FURNITURE!

That shit pisses me off highly as well. If they are TOO ignorant to know that it's the dander that causes most of the allergies, and that ONE "short haired" cat can shed more than than a dozen long haired ones, then they do NOT need a cat, period. I also hate the picking of a particular cat based on it's coat or how much it does or doesn't look the deceased kitty too. My mother in law took it upon herself to bring a friend of hers up here to my property last year (I wasn't home) to take one of my kittens who..." looked just like" her deceased cat, whose portrait hangs above her fire place mantle. Her husband was especially attached to the 18 y/o cat and had ALREADY told her that he didn't want another cat right now, so soon after. Well, she picked out one of my favorites who I had no intention to give away, but I figured that the kitty would have good home so I didn't stay pissed too long, UNTIL.


A week or so later she brought the kitty back and said that her husband just wasn't bonding with her, NO SHIT. He had already told her that he wasn't ready for another cat right now and when he was then I doubt that he would have wanted it to look exactly like the kitty in the portrait as that's just creepy. WHY can't people understand that there is NO SUCH THING AS A "REPLACEMENT" kitty when one has died? They do the same damned thing after miscarriages, stillbirths, and early childhood deaths. Before they can even appear for a court date regarding their first baybee's suspicious death, they are ALREADY at the belly rubbing stage, again. My husband's cousin had a 4 month old to die from a birth defect, and I specifically remember that the funeral was just after the first Christmas that I had moved up here which would have been January or so of 2007. Just last week though, she showed up at a get together with a baybee that looked to be just under a year old. . So, she would have had to have gotten knocked up IMMEDIATELY after lowering that 2 foot long coffin into the ground in order to have a replacement kyd of that age.


SOME people treat living beings as replaceable objects, much like a lightbulb, smoke alarm batteries, or an HVAC filter.

poofy, great story about the field technician at the grocery store. Good thing there was a security camera to back him up. Or else he would have been in a lose-lose situation: let the laptop get destroyed or face the wrath from the manager.

That laptop story is great, but scary at the same time. Breeders today really are insane, and society always takes their side. Unless you have it on film you're pretty much screwed.

As for the kitten thing, I don't think I would ever adopt a kitten. Oh, yes, they are adorable, but they are also expensive and a lot of work. I adopted my Bailey when she was 1 1/2, and it was perfect. I didn't have to pay for the kitten shots or the spaying, and she didn't need to be watched over constantly as the younger kittens do. Plus the great thing about older cats is that their personality has already emerged so you can choose a kitty that will be a good match for you. And the "you won't bond if it's not a kitten?" Well, tell that to Bailey when she's rolling around in the dirly laundry, forcing her way into my lap while I am reading, or laying on top of my husband's head while he is sleeping.

I was born into a house that had two cats before I arrived, and from then until the time I moved out there were (and still are) always a few cats to be found. My parents recently adopted their first older cat, a two year old. Up until they they had only ever gotten kittens. My dad agrees that getting an older kitty is definitely the way to go.

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"Not every ejaculation deserves a name" - George Carlin

There are definitely plenty of them. I have this one available:



He was slated to go on PetFinder but there are so many of them up there already. He is still officially "foster" but it looks like I'll have him for a while yet. He is very soft, and likes to stick his face into the blankets and fake-breastfeed. He is trying to work his way up the hierarchy, and has taken to bullying Frankie and jason, two of my favorites. Jason has also taken to bullying Frankie. Frankie is not aggressive at all, and most of the cats (esp. the black babies, and one of the older girls) love him.

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"I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell"

:eatu