The church says.......

My husband got a bingo from his mom today. She is hearing voices from God again.
She said God urged her to call him and let him know that he wants all to go forth and multiply and those who don't will not be accepted into the gates of heaven. He told her that was fine, we are Buddhist and her religion does not apply.
She is on one of those benders, where God is speaking to her and this "ole world" ain't gonna be round much longer, so we better get straight with God.
Anyone here been subjected to far right religious freaks? I am surrounded by them, some talk in tongues and some carry a giant cross everywhere they go. I need to move to the north.

T wo
H ousehold
I ncome
N o
K ids
E arly
R etirement

those who don't [have children] will not be accepted into the gates of heaven

I prefer to emulate Jesus.

Voices in your head are not God, they are hallucinations from your crazy brain. Some times pills make them go away.

Also, who the hell says you have to follow what the voices in your head tell you? How is their advice any better than the crazy guy ranting on the corner? At least he's an actual human with actual life experiences, auditory hallucinations are not.

"It truly is the one commonality that every designation of humans you can think of has, there's at least one asshole."
--Me

Many Biblical priests and holy people were celibate as part of their path.

Prophet Jeremiah, the class of prophets called "wilderness prophets" e.g. John the Baptist, Saint Paul

Matthew 19:12: "For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it."

1 Corinthians 7: (Paul speaking) "1. Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry. 2. But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband......8. Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am."

Revelations 14: "2. And I heard a voice from heaven, as the voice of many waters, and as the voice of a great thunder: and I heard the voice of harpers harping with their harps: 3. And they sung as it were a new song before the throne, and before the four beasts, and the elders: and no man could learn that song but the hundred and forty and four thousand, which were redeemed from the earth. 4. These are they which were not defiled with women; for they are virgins. These are they which follow the Lamb whithersoever he goeth. These were redeemed from among men, being the firstfruits unto God and to the Lamb."

I really hate it the way people take the basic message of Jesus, which is "Give yourself a break and be nice to each other" and turn it into "If you don't do THIS, you'll suffer for-EVAH."

I know there is a little more detail to it, but that's basically it. A mere mortal, someone on MY level, does NOT have the "inside track" any more than *I* have the inside track on salvation.

If I were Jesus, I'd be SO embarrassed.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
"I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell"

:eatu

And 'getting straight with God' means going forth and multiplying... right before the end of the world?

Her God has one almighty sense of humour.

- - - - - - - -
"The death of creativity is a pram in the hallway"
- Cyril Connolly

I'll say it again: I love God. It's his/her fan club that annoys the ever-loving shit out of me.

Quote
Marzipan
I'll say it again: I love God. It's his/her fan club that annoys the ever-loving shit out of me.

Could not agree more! :beer

Quote

If I were Jesus, I'd be SO embarrassed.

Haha! I've thought this same thing so many times...

Annie, your MIL is loooooney! Yea, I'm surrounded by them, too. Makes it so hard to have a bad attitude.

Why doesn't "God" do something about his fan club? Is it a policy of "non intervention" that he has, then what is the point of praying? Or does god intervene sometimes and then other times just let's people be assholes and homicidal maniacs?
What is to love about that? Not to insult anyones religions here, but what gets to me about god is that it seems like he doesn't do shit, but is supposed to be god.

I know some people who have this mentality as well and it's downright ludicrous. Most of them have never even read any actual scripture, but are parroting what has been spewed forth from the pulpits by men who re-write scriptures and misinterpret what they don't outright lie about to suit their own needs, to conform to their OWN lifestyle choices, and to condemn those with whom they don't agree. This is one reason that they often shy away from any discussions regarding The Bible with me, because I have read it and they haven't. I avoid religious or biblical discussions with ignorant religious zealots because I always win and they get defensive, upset, and when they can't support anything that they are spewing by pointing to the verse that allegedly says it then they can become downright aggressive. Then, they predictably turn to personal attacks and of course I have to reciprocate, and it just gets ugly. NO WHERE does it say in The Bible NOR does it even imply it and leave it open to interpretation, that people who don't have children are going to hell, NO WHERE.


While I try to resist the temptation to enter into a discussion about The Bible with a religious nut, sometimes I absolutely can not contain myself. One of my favorite arguements was with my step daughter's IGNORANT (in every way, including biblical knowledge) peepaw, many years ago. This man was a Southern Baptist and one of those Gideon Bible men as well and on this partcular day, he had CASES of bibles sitting around in his kitchen/dining area because he was going out on a "hotel delivery" later that day. Anyway, there he sat with the Gideon Bibles as his backdrop , on his fat pompous ass, eating a HUGE dinner with steak, baked potato with sourcream GALORE on it, and a tumbler sized glass of milk. . Something got him started on a rant that he considered a "sin" against God, and there were SO many I am not sure which one but I think it was he was telling me to take the grand daughter to a "CHRISTIAN" church, rather than the sinful Episcople one where her father dragged her because they were sinners since they drank alcohol in communion, among other reasons.


After listening to his bullshit for awhile, I finally asked him if he followed the scripture in The Bible literally, and of course he said yes. Then I pointed out to him that he was breaking a comandment from GOD himself by what he was consuming for dinner. Predictably, he started up about how it doesn't say ANYTHING about that in The Bible, on and on and on and on. So I told him that YES it did and that it was in the book of Leviticus, It got ugly when his subserviant wife chimed in and said, "Kim's right Charles, it DOES say that!". Well, her disobedience REALLY pissed him off and he went OFF about how I was mistaken. By now I am pissed too so I said, "Just pick up ANY ONE of these bibles in ANY ONE of these boxes, turn to Leviticus and READ IT for yourself. ,It's right next to the part where it says that men are'nt supposed to "lay" with other men, so I KNOW that you can find it!" !!!!". His teen grandson had gotten involved in the conversation by then and had already pulled a bible out of a box and piped up, "Paw Paw, it DOES say it, just like Kim says! You are not supposed to be eating the steak with the sour cream and milk because it comes from the same animal and it IS a sin Paw Paw!". larious


He just got up and stormed out of the room sinful food uneaten, but not to worry as he could spare many meals and still be fat. (I didn't have the opportunity to bring up gluttony that day) As he left the room in a huff he was muttering about how THAT was meant for the Jews because they were sinners, NOT the Christians. NOTHING pisses off a fundie male more than for his famblee to contradict him, NOTHING. He was pissed off enough that a sinner such as myself, who had been divorced, (like his daughter) was questioning his mighty and superior biblical wisdom and knowledge, but when mee maw and the grandson chimed in, he couldn't deal with it.:fmbl

Might he also have been wearing a shirt of a poly-cotton blend?!

clam chowder? shrimp cocktail?

Quote
clematis
Might he also have been wearing a shirt of a poly-cotton blend?!

clam chowder? shrimp cocktail?

Bacon? Pepperoni? Ham? Chorizo? Catfish? Octopus? s

Quote
clematis
Might he also have been wearing a shirt of a poly-cotton blend?!

clam chowder? shrimp cocktail?

LOL, larious I am certain that he probably was and very likely a host of other "sins" as well. Just a cursory glance and superficial knowledge of his lifestyle and it's easy to see a MULTITUDE of "sins" that he commits on a daily basis, according to The Bible. At every available opportunity, I didn't fail to point his sins out either, MUCH to his wife's delight, I might add. This last one was just one of my favorites.:inw

Quote
Marzipan

Quote
clematis
Might he also have been wearing a shirt of a poly-cotton blend?!

clam chowder? shrimp cocktail?

Bacon? Pepperoni? Ham? Chorizo? Catfish? Octopus? s

LOL, of course.larious His favorite restaurant was an all you could eat place called "The Fantail", which featured an ALL U CAN HOLD seafood buffet and on Friday nights they added on fresh Catfish as well. He filled his gullet MANY a Friday night on shellfish and catfish. In further observance of The Ten Comandments, he caused OTHER people to have to break the one about "Observe The Sabbath and keep it holy" and WORK ON SUNDAY by patronizing area restaurants, Walmart, gas stations, etc....... Nearly every Sunday afternoon he was up at Lowes buying crap to haul into his workshop and play carpenter, which btw is ALSO "work". He was the biggest comandment breaker and sinner that I ever knew, to be so holier than thou, judgemental, and pious.

Quote
annie35
My husband got a bingo from his mom today. She is hearing voices from God again.
She said God urged her to call him and let him know that he wants all to go forth and multiply and those who don't will not be accepted into the gates of heaven. He told her that was fine, we are Buddhist and her religion does not apply.
She is on one of those benders, where God is speaking to her and this "ole world" ain't gonna be round much longer, so we better get straight with God.
Anyone here been subjected to far right religious freaks? I am surrounded by them, some talk in tongues and some carry a giant cross everywhere they go. I need to move to the north.

The oldest adage in psychiatry goes, "If you talk to God, it's called prayer. If God talks to you, it's called schizophrenia."

I hate to say it, but maybe your MIL needs a psychiatric examination.

"I thank god I'm an atheist!" -- Mike "Meathead" Stivic (from "All in the Family")

Quote
deegee
"I thank god I'm an atheist!" -- Mike "Meathead" Stivic (from "All in the Family")

High five to that!
:drkbddy

"It truly is the one commonality that every designation of humans you can think of has, there's at least one asshole."
--Me

Quote
annie35
She said God urged her to call him and let him know that he wants all to go forth and multiply and those who don't will not be accepted into the gates of heaven.

Let me get this straight - the only way to go to heaven is to:

1) Get pregnant,
2) Go thorugh all the baby process of fetus and parasite inside you,
3) Become fat,
4) Then when you give birth, you go through painful procedures
5) You get all the physical side-effects (the usual stretch marks, saggy breasts, worned out vagina)
6) Disfigure your body permament
7) Your hubby becomes the member of the duhd club.
8) Give up all your motorcycle hobbies
9) Forefit all the dreams for dead-end burden.

Annie, I say - NO THANKS. Why the hell someone want to go through all this painful BS to go to heaven.

Seriously.

And I'd tell the MIL to go sell crazy someplace else.

Quote
poofy_puff
I really hate it the way people take the basic message of Jesus, which is "Give yourself a break and be nice to each other" and turn it into "If you don't do THIS, you'll suffer for-EVAH."

I know there is a little more detail to it, but that's basically it. A mere mortal, someone on MY level, does NOT have the "inside track" any more than *I* have the inside track on salvation.

If I were Jesus, I'd be SO embarrassed.

See y'all in hell!

1 Timothy 2:15

But women will be preserved through the bearing of children if they continue in faith and love and sanctity with self-restraint.

Commentary:

Work was laid upon the fallen man; the pains of childbearing on the fallen woman. The apostle means here that women will be saved in the line of their duties, and that those duties are domestic rather than public.

Yet another reason that I have rejected Christianity.

Quote
married with rabbits
Even in Christian terms she is wrong. God wouldn't reject people on that basis alone.

Even though I'm as far to the left from Xtian as you can get this is how I've always understood it.

http://skepticsannotatedbible.com/fv/long.html

Leviticus Women are dirty and sinful after childbirth, so God prescribes rituals for their purification. If a boy is born, the mother is unclean for 7 days and must be purified for 33 days; but if a girl is born, the mother is unclean for 14 days and be purified for 66 days. This is because, in the eyes of God, girls are twice as dirty as boys. 12:1-5

After a woman gives birth, a priest must kill a lamb, pigeon, or dove as a sin offering. This is because having children is sinful and God likes it when things are killed for him. 12:6-8

if she asks again.

http://skepticsannotatedbible.com/says_about/children.html

Children who refuse to obey their parents must be executed.

If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and that, when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them: Then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of his city, and unto the gate of his place; And they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton, and a drunkard. And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die: so shalt thou put evil away from among you; and all Israel shall hear, and fear. -- Deuteronomy 21:18-21

And then there's this statement, which could only be found in the Bible:

Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones. -- Psalm 137:9

*********************************************************************************************************************************
I just post the stories, for interest.. for everyone

Lord, what fools these mortals be!
- A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act III, Scene ii

Voltaire said: "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."

H.L.Mencken wrote:"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.”

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein

At some times there would be an advantage to stoning a child for disobedience to parents.
'dasheth they little ones..'
That is from a set of psalms that are known as the deprecatory (or vengeance) psalms and I think they date from the time of the captivity and is aimed at the babylonians. Of course, when babylon fell, that is precisely what happened.
Another verse though says (somewhere) that 'more are the children of the barren and desolate then of the .... (I forget the remainder of the verse) childed to use a term here.
and, if you look at the old testament and think of it in term of old/new covenant... the terms have changed. ...

two cents ¢¢

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong

Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children.

The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke

Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.