Kid gets 'hurt' on my farm...Jesus...

Alright...I live out in the country and have a few farm animals. Towards the back of my property, I rent a automotive repair shop to my tenant who is awesome. My barn is attached to the shop. I have KEEP OUT and NO PARKING signs around my little area. I had to put them up about a month ago when some dimwit man decided my fucking chicken coop would make a great kennel for his two Pomeranians for the day. That is where my hens lay their eggs, eat, drink, and go for safety. I was livid, my head almost exploded so I put up signs.

I went down a little while ago to collect eggs and clean my stall, and up rolls a customer...with two brats. Of course, the mom decides that since this is the country, she can let them run around like maniacs. So of COURSE they start whining all kinds of questions to me while I'm cleaning and I just ignore them. Well, one of them, IGNORING all my signs, grabs my electric fence...which was still on :cool... to try and climb in, and scrEAMS bloody murder. Mom comes running out of the shop and freaks out. I did not apologize, just told her he grabbed the fence and he was fine. She ushered them in the shop and I didn't see them again.

I got a really nasty look but I don't give a fuck. This isn't a goddamned petting zoo, it's my private property where I enjoy my animals without prying little fingers and million-question games.
Any ideas on other signs I can erect to get people's attention?

edited to add I do have: WARNING, ELECTRIC FENCE! signs on my fence.

Sounds like that fence is doing its job really well.

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"I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell"

:eatu

I'm sorry to hear about the free-range brat. I hope the moo doesn't come back to sue you for "emotional damage to Snotley" or any shit like that.

I don't know if there are any signs you can erect to get the attention of people, since we all know that people in general (and moos in particular) think that signs and rules don't apply to them. The only thing I can think that might keep the moos away is if you post signs that are really offensive, so that they won't want their little brats to see them.

"Stay the fuck off the grass"

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"Not every ejaculation deserves a name" - George Carlin

Yea, I was thinking something along the lines of: "This is NOT a petting zoo, keep away from animals"! Or something similar. Signs are expensive, especially since I'm barely working so I want to keep it short and sweet but to the point.

Yep poofy, the fence did it's job very well. Oh if only I could have recorded that scream and him flicking his hands and running in circles...jesus that was funny!

Putting signs up usually does not dissuade the special snowflakes who feel the rules are for everyone else, but not them. But since there's an electric fence involved, having signs up will protect you from lawsuits. Maybe a sign near the fence that says something about high voltage, danger, do not touch. And it has to be written out clearly because the special snowflakes will look for loopholes to legally exploit.

Dig out your homeowner's policy and give your agent a call, explain what happened (or maybe ask it "hypothetically",) and see what they suggest. They deal with this crap all the time and might be able to give you some basic guidelines about signage, because most farms have electric fences somewhere on their property.

Jesus! Don't kids know better than to grab strange-looking fences? I have a feeling the turd won't be touching fences again any time soon. In fact, maybe it'll keep him from trying to scale anyone else's. And what was wrong with the mother? Does she not understand that *farm* usually equals *electric fence*?

Damn, its sad that you have to make your property look like a damned highway median at election time just to remind people to keep to themselves. Post signs like, "The animals DO bite." I would also post signs for the parents, "Parents, please do not leave your children unattended."

Just be careful with your stuff, some asshole parent would sue in a minute had their brat been injured. Idiots.

Maybe "No Kids Allowed" sign?=3

I think that breeder moosows have watched entirely too many made for TV Lifetime and Disney movies about the safe, wholesome, kiddie-friendly atmosphere of ranch homes, farmland, country cottages, and famblee farms in general. The average house in the country with acreage, barns, out buildings, animals normally found on such properties, and the equipment and accessories that come along with it, including the often threacherous natural landscape which surrounds the homestead, is DANGEROUS and NOT KID-FRIENDLY. When I used to appraise residential rural properties I always had to be VERY CAREFUL while walking the properties, especially small farms.They are generally NOT like the famblee farm in "Homeward Bound", "Babe", or any number of fantasy movies where city dwellers move to the country in hopes of a clean safe place to raise the kydlets. Realistically, it's more like, "Arachnaphobia", and "Fatal.Attraction" than it is horses, pigs, dogs, cats. wishing wells, and barn dances.


You have electric fences,horses and cows which can become spooked by strangers and inadvertantly cause injury, ponds that can be slipped into if they aren't shored up properly, cellars and attics that are in and of themselves a safety hazard due to ill repair of stairs/railing, floors, ceilings and lack of lighting, rusty nails and roofing tacks, SPIDERS are generally abundant with Brown Recluse hiding in every available dark space with NO WEBS for advance warning, snakes, yard dogs that bite, old wells that aren't secured properly, old outhouses that are not filled in, not to begin to even MENTION the equipment, implements, and tools found in and around barns like pitch forks, fertilizer spreaders, rusty old tractors with jagged edges, front end loaders, stump grinders, feed grinders, and sadly, SOME have small game animal traps that could snap a leg into. Unfamiliar rural properties and farms are NO PLACE for kyds to run free. In fact, it would probably be safer to let them loose near one of the NY City subways during rush hour than it would be to let them run loose and unsupervised on a farm, especially if they are city kyds.


That kyd deserved to get shocked for nosing around and touching things that didn't belong to him, but I wish it had been careless moomare instead. This bullshit of "There were animals, of COURSE he was curious", is for the birds. Kyds need to keep their fucking hands OFF of other peoples' animals unless they have permision for a variety of reasons. This is probably one of those moomares who lets the kyd grab at and attempt to pet sick animals in the vet office waiting room. As usual, moomie passed up an invaluable chance to teach the little bastard to keep his greasy little paws to himself. Next time it could be the cage of a tiger at the zoo he tries to reach through and "pet". I am not a big fan of "petting zoos" anyway because these kyds are too young to be careful when they "pet", the animals can easily be mistreated and since they have teeth, it's just a breeding ground for "bite attacks".


Just off the top of my head I can think of ten safety hazards for kyds on my rural property and I am certain there are more. Yet, when anyone happens up with their kyds, the first fucking thing that they do is cut them loose and they start running (top speed) toward the edge of the mountain, which has a drop off ledge of about 15 feet with nothing but hard dirt and jagged rock beneath and NO safety railing or fence. It isn't hidden, you can see the danger in it when you drive up.

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Yep poofy, the fence did it's job very well. Oh if only I could have recorded that scream and him flicking his hands and running in circles...jesus that was funny!

Hahaha! That's great! Little bastard got just what he deserved!

I wouldn't want any brats around my animal 'sanctuary', either.

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KidFreeLuvnLife
Post signs like, "The animals DO bite." I would also post signs for the parents, "Parents, please do not leave your children unattended.".

I would add to that Not Responsible for Any Injuries to Your Unattended Children.

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- The human gene pool could use a little chlorine

Touch away kiddies, it's not like an electric fence will kill them.
I used to like touching the fence at my great uncle's farm.

I always liked the sign that is up in a local bar, "Unattended children will be given espresso and a puppy"

"It truly is the one commonality that every designation of humans you can think of has, there's at least one asshole."
--Me

Simple. Just hang plastic replicas of weathered-looking toddler skeletons from your problem areas -- the electric fence, the wheels of your tractor, on the chicken-walking-ramp to the coop, etc. Dangle from and around them some dirty shreds from a Little Mermaid t-shirt, a pair of OshKoshes, and a single pink Croc shoe.

No point in hanging signs for cripes sake -- unless it starts with Once Upon A Time, moos can't read it.




Almost-rude-sounding captcha: PUUDE

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"The death of creativity is a pram in the hallway"
- Cyril Connolly

Unless the signs could say:

"Once upon a time there was YOUR CHILD on MY FARM and it got its big stupid freaky head stuck in the FENCE and the fire crew didn't arrive for SEVEN HOURS. The end."

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"The death of creativity is a pram in the hallway"
- Cyril Connolly

I would love to have witnessed the kid freaking out.
I don't like kids touching my animals or near my animals outdoor play area. I put a fence up for a reason, you idiots.

T wo
H ousehold
I ncome
N o
K ids
E arly
R etirement

UPDATE: My tenant called and said his customer snickered about how insensitive she thought I was to her 'child' after having had his little dick knocked in the ground, and that I should have signs on my fence warning of it being electric. He said: "She does". And she said: "Oh, I didn't see them". No you stupid empty-headed coconut, because YOU DIDN'T FUCKING BOTHER TO LOOK BEFORE TURNING YOUR HELLIONS LOSE ON MY FARM!!!!!

GodDAMMIT these women are clueless s

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Amethyst


Almost-rude-sounding captcha: PUUDE

Were those really all capital letters?

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"I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell"

:eatu

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poofy_puff

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Amethyst


Almost-rude-sounding captcha: PUUDE

Were those really all capital letters?

No like this I think: Puude

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"The death of creativity is a pram in the hallway"
- Cyril Connolly

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str8six
Oh if only I could have recorded that scream and him flicking his hands and running in circles...jesus that was funny!

I would pay to see that.