Tele Commercial That I Hate

Kelly Rippa and the Electrolux appliance ad. The one where she talks about being even more fabulous, because she can now cook faster than a speeding bullet or boil water in 90 seconds, or some crap like that.
So now these women think they are fabulous because they cook, clean, and raise kids.
Audrey Hepburn was fabulous. A rare tuna steak with a good beer is fabulous. Cooking and cleaning for soul suckers, there is nothing fabulous about it.

T wo
H ousehold
I ncome
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K ids
E arly
R etirement

Oh, don't get me started on cleaning/cooking commercials!

Every single commercial for cleaning products follows the same goddamn script:

Undisciplined brats and sloppy buffoon husband (and usually a poorly-trained dog or two) make mess. Mom, looking suspiciously non-sleep-deprived and jovial shakes her head in mirthful mock disappointment with a grin on her face at the fact that her wonderful famblee (whom she could never regret, by the way) just fucked up the house again. Instead of making the shits (who are obviously old enough to know better) clean up the messes they made, Supermom just grabs [insert cleaning product here] and cleans it up for them. Afterward, she stands there looking self-satisfied, waiting for her litter and her useless man to ruin it all again. "A mother's work is never done! Tee-hee!"

And that shit pisses me off because of the asinine stereotypes it promotes. Women are good for nothing except being mothers and wives and cooking and cleaning... You know... Woman stuff. And a good one is never tired. Never loses her patience. Never needs time to herself. Never regrets having little Colon or Assleigh. Is always on top of her obligations.... You get the idea. She's the world's most perfect mother and wife.

The father of said monsters are always useless, lazy buffoons who, themselves, are nothing but overgrown children. He never helps out. Never takes the kids anywhere. Never gives mom the night off (not that she needs it, because she's Supermom!) and is always asking for his wife to get him shit (which, of course, she does without complaint or lip).

It's disgusting.

I hate ALL of the cleaning ads/commercials for the same reasons that AngryReptileKeeper mentioned and then some. I especially hate the sponge mop ad where moomie no longer uses the old string mop and it (the damned mop) keeps popping up in parking lots and whatnot and sending her flowers and singing love songs as if he is some sort of an inanimate stalker. I especially hate ALL of the paper towel ads where predictably a brat spills shit all over creation, but not to worry because moomie can clean up the mess with ease. Then there are the toilet cleanser ads where they superimpose magnified cartoonish germs all over the toilet and surrounding area and moomie and her little moolet are appalled until they can sanitize it all with the cleaner of the day. Pledge is annoying with all of their spotless model homes as backdrops for the furniture dusting AS IF homes this clean would even have dust anywhere.



The Glade spray/plug ins ad where duddy and kyds leave for the day and moomie runs out and plays tennis, shops, eats lunch out with the girls etc, but then comes home in the nick of time to spray her SPOTLESS home so that the famblee will think that she cleaned all day, is particularly annoying. Did they not notice how clean the house ALREADY WAS before they left? I have never met an air freshener that could clean a house, do dishes, laundry, vacuum, etc.....These ads are just stupid and insulting to my intelligence. The dishwasher detergent ones are stupid as hell and actually a bit gross. Who ever heard of just piling the dishwasher up with 2 day old dirty dishes that hadn't even been scraped off? I don't care how well it works, it's just gross. Then they have greasy, sticky, stuck on grease/food/sauces, etc.... on dishes that look like they have sat around for DAYS that supposedly the dish detergent will eat right through the filth and they demonstrate by slipping half the plate into the water and it emerges with that half SPARKLING clean. I have to wonder what something like that would do to my skin, if it can eat it's way through a stuck on chicken bone.

Kelly Ripa is too irritatingly perky.

Some of the worst I've seen are:

1. Pledge cleaning products. The voiceover goes, "We invited this t-ball team over to this lady's home and told them to make themselves at home." Then these little monsters run into the house, they are running and screeching all over the living room, dropping their bats and gloves anywhere, leaving handprints on the TV screen and the computer screen and making a big mess. Then the voiceover says, "No worries, Jennifer, you can use Pledge" Then the lady starts cleaning the room with the product.

2. From Ikea furniture. Mom is working on the computer, then her two brats start screaming. So she goes into the living room and sees them fighting over the remote. She says "You know what, someone needs a timeout!" But instead of sending them to their rooms, she gives herself a timeout by going into her bedroom and sits down on a recliner she bought.

3. Comcast's new cable phone service. A lady calls her out-of-control brat's principal and says, "I know you've suspended Jimmy but can he come back to school? I'm calling from my new cell phone." Then behind her, the monster comes in holding a vacuum cleaner thats turned on and puts the hose part in the fish tank to drain the water, then a few seconds later, the tank breaks and the contents splatter all over the room.

4. Gerber ad with moo talking about the new easy to open container, then girl toddler (about 2 y.o.) comes into the room holding a plant she pulled out of the flower pot and there's a trail of dirt behind her that is dropping from the roots of the plant.

These and other commercials send out some pretty shitty messages as far as I am concerned and do NOT endear me to their product, that's for sure. I don't understand why these ads are successful, but then I guess that I am not part of their "target" audience so they don't give a damn about what I think.




1. Pledge cleaning products. The voiceover goes, "We invited this t-ball team over to this lady's home and told them to make themselves at home." Then these little monsters run into the house, they are running and screeching all over the living room, dropping their bats and gloves anywhere, leaving handprints on the TV screen and the computer screen and making a big mess. Then the voiceover says, "No worries, Jennifer, you can use Pledge" Then the lady starts cleaning the room with the product.
This is implying that it's "ok", even expected, that children shouldn't have to exercise manners or restraint while visiting someone else's home. It's also saying that the respect of adults and other peoples' personal property is unimportant and that it doesn't matter if you carelessly make an avoidable mess, because someone else will clean it up. Of course it carries underlying demeaning "woman's job" tones, but I suppose that I am used to that tactic and am numb to it.


2. From Ikea furniture. Mom is working on the computer, then her two brats start screaming. So she goes into the living room and sees them fighting over the remote. She says "You know what, someone needs a timeout!" But instead of sending them to their rooms, she gives herself a timeout by going into her bedroom and sits down on a recliner she bought.
This one is especially annoying because it sends the message that the moomie has NO CONTROL over her own children and that in order to get any peace of mind she is required to inconvenience herself and remove herself from their all mighty presence, rather than to discipline the kyds and send the little bastards to their rooms if they don't STFU.


3. Comcast's new cable phone service. A lady calls her out-of-control brat's principal and says, "I know you've suspended Jimmy but can he come back to school? I'm calling from my new cell phone." Then behind her, the monster comes in holding a vacuum cleaner thats turned on and puts the hose part in the fish tank to drain the water, then a few seconds later, the tank breaks and the contents splatter all over the room.
This one is a two-parter of separate but important issues. This is saying , as we have all suspected, that breeders think that it's the school's responsibility to discipline and raise their brats, rather than them actually taking any action or responsibility to raise their own kyds. The other is that it's acceptable (and expected) to allow children to be destructive and violent not only with personal property, but in this case he has actually killed defenseless fish by purposely causing them to suffocate to death if they hadn't already perished by being suctioned into a vacuum, which is CLEARLY what should have been done with the boy years ago while there was still time.


4. Gerber ad with moo talking about the new easy to open container, then girl toddler (about 2 y.o.) comes into the room holding a plant she pulled out of the flower pot and there's a trail of dirt behind her that is dropping from the roots of the plant.[/quote]
Another one here who not only has allowed destruction of property by improper supervision of the child, but a plant has been uprooted and likely will die as a result of moomie negligence. If they can't be taught the basic concept that once a houseplant is uprooted and dies that it is gone bye bye forever, it's unlikely that they could apply the same concept to a puppy, kitten, bird, or goldfish when they are older. (see above) In addition, this is likely similar to what most all two y/o's did while unsupervised not long before they went belly up in the backyard pool, took a nap behind the wheel of a parked car in the driveway, or choked to death on a chew toy. "I was only .....talking on the phone, signing for a delivery, shaving my legs, weeding the garden, reading War and Peace, etc......for just a second!!!!!"

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kidlesskim


The Glade spray/plug ins ad where duddy and kyds leave for the day and moomie runs out and plays tennis, shops, eats lunch out with the girls etc, but then comes home in the nick of time to spray her SPOTLESS home so that the famblee will think that she cleaned all day, is particularly annoying.

This one is horrible- I'm surprised it got released because it clearly shows how much leisure time SAHMs have.

Cleaning ads piss me off for the mere fact that they always depict only women, and never men. Doesn't matter what it's for, be it shower-scum remover, toilet cleaner, spray n wipe type surface cleaner, vacuum cleaners, it's ALWAYS a women using said product. I'm sorry, I thought this was 2009, not 1959, and that men were perfectly capable of doing housework and using cleaning products? Guess not...

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Arctic_Fox
Cleaning ads piss me off for the mere fact that they always depict only women, and never men. Doesn't matter what it's for, be it shower-scum remover, toilet cleaner, spray n wipe type surface cleaner, vacuum cleaners, it's ALWAYS a women using said product. I'm sorry, I thought this was 2009, not 1959, and that men were perfectly capable of doing housework and using cleaning products? Guess not...

That pisses me off as well. On the rare occasions that television depicts males doing anything domestic they always show them bumbling and fumbling around, making huge messes (that they don't clean up), or looking for things that belong to THEM because they never do laundry, put anything away, or lay their own clothes out, so how would they know? (HONEY!!! Where are my dress socks, blue button down, bowling shirt, .......???", etc.... When they show them doing anything with the kyds they always depict them as inept at that as well. They don't know what time Shitley is supposed to be at ballet practice or remember to pack her leotards, they dress Toadlee in red and green striped pants with a yellow polka dotted shirt, they put diapers on backwards, they sit tin cans of Spaghettios in the microwave only for it to explode and make a HUGE mess, they don't know how to scramble eggs or work the toaster oven, and even the famblee dog sits with his head cocked to the side in AWE of his apparent stupidity.



If they ever do depict a man successfully handling regular every day activities in the home or related to childcare then a huge big deal is made about it by moomie, the neighbors, fellow dads, their parents, other relatives, etc...... It's ridiculous how they make men appear so stupid when it simply isn't true and even more annoying when he gets kudos and "extra credit" for being able to load a dishwasher, give a kyd a bath, or make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

There's also this refrigerator commercial that is almost composed entirely of "Mom, where's my..." and "Honey, where's my..." (<-- asked by incompetent hubby, of course).

How about a heaping helping of "Mom, where's my shut the fuck up and find it yourself?" :cen Mommy is not your serving wench!

Other irritating type of ads are the ones for kids medications with sick kids who are in bed calling for moo and of course moo is the one getting out of bed or leaving a task to give the kid Triaminic or whatever medicine is being advertised. Aren't fathers capable of giving kids their medicine?

And those automobile ads. This recent one is for a new minivan, the Chevy Traverse. The pitchman and a little girl (about 5-6 y.o) are featured. The pitchman is talking about what the van is capable of and its features. At one point, girl brat chimes in with, "This is a big girl car, I want a big girl car!"

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nosilla
Aren't fathers capable of giving kids their medicine?

Of course not! Only a mother's loving touch can make little Shiforbrains feel better. Fathers are just useless, bumbling, selfish sperm donors. Don't you know anything? m

Conversely. when women are depicted doing "man things", unless it has to do with a car other than starting it they are made to appear knowledgeable and competent. Never do they show a woman hollering out, "HONEY!!!! Where is the lawn mower gas, the chlorine tabs for the pool, the paint thinner, the hammer/screw driver/pliers, the trash bags, etc...........This is really a mixed bag of stereotypes with the expected male "duties" seemingingly greatly diminished while the female's "chores" have astronomically increased within a traditional male-female relationship. It's like some wacky sci-fi movie. It's as if society not only expects women to earn comparable household income to the male AND continue on with the June Cleaver facade (solely), she is ALSO expected to maintain the plumbing, do the yardwork, and dig the trenches for the new water lines too. It's like a futuristic parody of feminism gone awry, only it's real.:hs



From my point of view there are only three ways to escape it successfully (for a woman) 1)Marry a guy who doesn't buy into it, although it's slim pickins' because who WOULDN'T want do have so few responsibilities and get the blessing of society at the same time?? 2)Stay single and do it all anyway, but at least it will only be for yourself 3)Don't have kyds, which is the main leverage point and motivation causing PNB's to "do it all" because they don't want their kyds living in a pile of shit inside and out. Also, she would have to be patient long enough to force his hand into doing his share. I mean eventually, he will HAVE to do something or he won't eat, have any clean clothes, or the city will post a citation on the door for an overgrown lawn.



I realize this could only be a "Southern thing", but this attitude is so rampant down here that it's difficult to avoid and has been a part of my life since birth.

Now, whenever I see that Glade air freshener commercial with the stay-at-home wife finding time for tennis, shopping, going out with the girls for lunch, etc., this Canadian divorce story comes to mind:

http://www.thestar.com/living/article/577605

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AngryReptileKeeper
And that shit pisses me off because of the asinine stereotypes it promotes. Women are good for nothing except being mothers and wives and cooking and cleaning... You know... Woman stuff.
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The father of said monsters are always useless, lazy buffoons who, themselves, are nothing but overgrown children.

Nail. Head. Sledgehammer.

I hate the idiots who promote the "June Cleaver mom" and the "Bart Simpson father" pairing with a passion. :sbx Who the hell writes this kind of garbage?! For that matter - who's approving it for public broadcast?

What about those Jif peanut butter commercials? "Choosy moms choose Jif!" Uh, no. Sorry. If using Jif makes them a choosy mom, I'd hate to see what they feed their kids when they're not being choosy! What's "choosy" about feeding your kids partially hydrogenated oils and sugar? Shouldn't promoting heart disease (among other things) in your children constitute some from of child abuse? How about feeding those poor bastards some real peanut butter, instead? It costs about the same as the partially hydrogenated garbage.

I think the Sunny Delight commercials are pretty self-explanatory. Yeah, like Junior's really going to be out frolicking and playing sports in the sun when he weighs 300 pounds and has diabetes from all that Sunny D he poured down his gullet.

Or how about that Van Kamp's fishstick commercial wherein the toddler (who can't be a day over 3 or 4) lectures her mother about how the "other brand" is made of minced fish as opposed to whole, and is clearly displeased and refuses to eat anything but the best (Van Kamp's, of course). As if any child that age really gives a shit, or can even have enough life experience to form any sort of remotely valid opinion. Anyway, I've had all kinds of fishsticks in my life, and they all taste the same to me.

How about that GE washer/dryer commercial with the kid who wears that retarded-looking beanie hat as a security blanket? What the hell is wrong with his mother? Isn't he a little old to be doing shit like that? I mean, I had my special blanket at that age, but I kept it at home in my bedroom! In reality, that kid would be severely bullied at school. Then, he'd go home with a black eye, crying to moomie, who would tell her sweet little indigo baybee to "just ignore those mean kids", because he's her "special little guy".

I hate the "family is calling" Rice Crispy commercials with the happy mommee and her precious well behaved little darlings all having a happy breakfast with happy music and cute cooing. Way to happy and positive for me.

And, Maybe this shouldn't bother me because it's actually directed to moo's, but I get extremely annoyed with the Gerber Graduates commercial with the "Steady Nutrition for a wobbley world" slogan. Specifically the one where the little girl rips up a potted plant and starts tracking dirt everwhere and the moo's like "oh! its ok! tee hee. I feed her nutricious, totally non messy gerber graduates mini yogurt bites!!!!LOL fewer messes to clean up!"

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AngryReptileKeeper
What about those Jif peanut butter commercials? "Choosy moms choose Jif!" Uh, no. Sorry. If using Jif makes them a choosy mom, I'd hate to see what they feed their kids when they're not being choosy! What's "choosy" about feeding your kids partially hydrogenated oils and sugar? Shouldn't promoting heart disease (among other things) in your children constitute some from of child abuse? How about feeding those poor bastards some real peanut butter, instead? It costs about the same as the partially hydrogenated garbage.

I think the Sunny Delight commercials are pretty self-explanatory. Yeah, like Junior's really going to be out frolicking and playing sports in the sun when he weighs 300 pounds and has diabetes from all that Sunny D he poured down his gullet.

Or how about that Van Kamp's fishstick commercial wherein the toddler (who can't be a day over 3 or 4) lectures her mother about how the "other brand" is made of minced fish as opposed to whole, and is clearly displeased and refuses to eat anything but the best (Van Kamp's, of course). As if any child that age really gives a shit, or can even have enough life experience to form any sort of remotely valid opinion. Anyway, I've had all kinds of fishsticks in my life, and they all taste the same to me.

If the mom were truly choosy, she'd go to my local food coop which has delectable (and pricey) peanut butter with none of those preservatives, additives, colorings, &c.

Ugh, Sunny Delight is an equal offender. Just buy a frozen can of real juice and make it in a pitcher already--it's cheaper and healthier.

I never felt the same way about fish sticks after I learned about codworms (shudder)

There was one a little while back that *really* pissed me off. It was for disposable plates, and the mom said something along the lines of "Why spend the time doing dishes when I could be spending the time with my family" and was all about how families should use disposable plates for dinner rather than real ones. One, why is cleaning up after dinner automatically the woman's job, and two, yes that's exactly what the planet needs - commercials telling moos it's ok to create more waste than a small country does.

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"Not every ejaculation deserves a name" - George Carlin

more waste means more tax, more tax governments gleefully rub hands together. then you get charged for recycling, more money to them.

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Lord, what fools these mortals be!
- A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act III, Scene ii

Voltaire said: "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."

H.L.Mencken wrote:"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.”

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein

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AngryReptileKeeper
What about those Jif peanut butter commercials? "Choosy moms choose Jif!"

Aren't the little fuckers all allergic to peanuts nowadays, anyway?

Kelly Ripa is just like Kathy Lee. I can't stand either one. Glad I have a DVR and can just fast forward through commercials.

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- The human gene pool could use a little chlorine

OMG! I thought I was the only one who hated that commercial! It makes me mad when commercials try and make is seem as if their products will make cleaning a fun activity. I don't care what anyone says but I don't know of anyone except neat freaks or germ freaks who think cleaning is fun.

The other commerical that annoys the shit out of me is actually a toy commerical. It's for a a Fisher Price play house and one of the lines they use is, "Now she can live out her dreams too." And they show the little girl doing guess what? House work in the damn play house!!! Yeah, as if every freakin' little girl wants to grow up to be a housewife and raise anklebiters. Cause there's nothing more fulfilling in life than being a maid to ungreatful brats!

Someone mentioned those overly sappy Rice Krispies commercials. Those do it for me every time. Always a mom and daughter (maybe a son, but I don't think I've ever seen that). I don't recall ever seeing one of these ads with a dad.

Again, dads are either not in the commercial at all, or they're there but not taking important roles, or worse, they're shown as being part of Mommy's problem. When I was growing up, my mom wouldn't have been able to afford the Jif and the cleaning products and the Rice Krispies, etc., were it not for my dad going out and busting his ass every day of his life. My mom was a SAHM until I was old enough to stay home alone after school, and my dad made the money for all of us, and he never complained. And my mom never took him for granted. These types of commercials make me sick with their portrayal of dads being nothing but useless, living sperm banks. How would Glade Bitch be able to keep her house spotless (apparently with the help of a maid) and then go out and play tennis all day if DUH weren't bringing home the bacon?

These commercials are most likely this way because companies have to cater to the ever growing number of single moms. If they show too much dad time, or show married couples/parents in commercials, then the single moms will all cry and pitch a fit that they're facing discrimination through advertising.

Oh, the Gerber "wobbly world" crapfests are the WORST. I cringe every time I hear that pot rattle. I have never understood why idiot sows think it's "cute" to have Snotleigh pull every pot and pan onto the dirty, germy floor and bang unmercifully on them.

And commercials in which children cook. . .which is personally my worst nightmare. There's an awful, awful one in which a brat lobs a meatball into a simmering pot of sauce from on high, and of course the hot sauce goes EVERYWHERE. Too bad it doesn't burn the fleshloaf's face. Children should NOT be in the kitchen, inserting grimy hands into the food.

And my ultimate cringer: Brat shakes orange soda vigorously. Moo turns around and sharply exclaims: "Bastard spawn, what are you doing?" At which point the little shit rightly cowers, waiting for the slap. But then the idiot moo grabs another soda, shakes even harder, and says, "This is how you do it!" At which point they gleefully spray sticky soda all over the kitchen.

I think the aim of these ads is to console the moos as they spend countless hours on hands and knees cleaning pointless messes. To say, yes! it's normal. Relish the mess.

Because surely every day, moos MUST reach the breaking point. But you never have to know it. Just put on a simpering Kelly Ripa cunt grin, get on those hands and knees (time-honored positions), and scrub away!

Though I'm glad that's what moos face EVERY day. Must make it a little harder to justify TMIJITW. But they get to polish the martyr medals a little more. With pledge.