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Abortion Experience
Posted by OhMyGodNoKids
OhMyGodNoKids
Abortion Experience May 25, 2006 |
In the long run, I feel that my abortion was one of the best things I ever did for myself. It wasn't fun and I had a lot of conflicting emotions. But, it was the right choice.
I had my abortion much later than I would have preffered. I am a strong testament to the power of an irregular menstrual cycle combined with denial. I could probably serve as the poster girl for the fundie message of "abortions are only performed for convenience" or "don't let this happen to you".
I was in my early 20's and, to be frank, I didn't care about much, including myself. While I've always been fascinated by sex and sexuallity, I can safely say that I was in a bad place at that time of my life. I couldn't tell you who the father was; there were three candidates. I'm incredibly lucky that all I had was an unintended pregnancy. I'm incredibly lucky that I am, to this day, healthy.
After almost four months of praying that my period was just late and would turn up any day, I finally faced facts. I went to Planned Parenthood and had a pregnancy test. When the nice lady called the next day with the results, I was devestated. I finally had to accept the fact that I had a decision to make.
The funny thing is that there was never a question in my mind about what I would do. I knew from the first moment that I thought I could be pregnant that I would abort. Unfortunately, I had been brainwashed into thinking that abortion was such a horrible, destrucive thing. I soon found out that it is not horrible or destructive or any of the things that fundies talk about. That is, abortion can be a positive experience if the woman choosing it is choosing it for the right reasons.
When I went back to Planned Parenthood, they determined that I was too far along to use their servies. Thankfully, they referred me to a clinic that performed later abortions. The only problem at that point was cost. When I called my mother later that day, I was terrified. Even though I had been raised by her to be pro-choice, I was afraid that she would be angry that I was asking for financial help. I was afraid that she would be mad at me for letting the pregnancy go on for as long as I did. The good news is that she was none of those things. She told me to make the appointment for as soon as I could and let her know so that she could fly out to be with me and pay for the procedure. While I had a few close friends that I confided in, I really don't think I could have gotten through it all without the support of my mother.
I was 18 weeks along when I went in for the procedure. It was a nice, semi-suburban clinic just outside of Boston. There was a security guard between the front door of the building and the main door of the clinic, protected by thick glass, who checked my name and ID against the patient list. He was rather nice looking and kinda hot in all his anit-terrorist gear. I felt kind of weird thinking this guy was hot, but I also wondered if he was there because of his belief in the cause, or because he had been assigned there by his rent-a-cop boss. It didn't matter, but I still wondered.
When I met with the pre-abortion councelor, she commented that, at 18 weeks, it must have been a difficult decision for me. I told her that no, abortion wasn't a difficult decision, accepting that I was pregnant was difficult. She seemed to accept that easily.
I don't remember much of the procedure. I was given something (twilight, I guess) that pretty much put me out for the whole time. Coming to in the recovery room was a bit difficult. Oddly enough, I had a brief hallucination of a cat on a nearby counter, playing with a paper towel roll. When a nurse came by to check on me, I asked about the cat and she told me there was no cat. For some reason, that made me really sad. And I'm not even a fan of cats! I prefer dogs. I recognized one of the other women in the room. I remembered seeing her sitting in the waiting room with a man, presumably her husband. Shortly after I recognized her, her husband came into the recovery room. He joined her and hugged her. They cried together as he rocked her gently. I easily assumed that, what ever their reasons for choosing abortion, it had not been their first choice. While I was positive that my choice was the right one for me, seeing that couple made me very sad. I also wondered if my mother would be allowed to come into the recovery room to comfort me. As it turned out, I sat there for how ever long, by myself, and was eventually walked out to the waiting room by a nurse. My mom, who had seen the husband walked back to the recovery room, also wondered when she would be called back to comfort and take care of me. She wasn't. Afterwords, we were both a little pissed about that.
My mother and I went back to a hotel that she had reserved for us - I hadn't told either of my roommates what was going on; I actually lied, telling them that I was going home for the weekend. Mom and I hung out for the rest of the day and by the next afternoon, I was restless and went out to pick up lunch for us.
After the abortion, I had breast leakage (ick!) and felt very down for the following few weeks. What no one, except for my mother, told me is that it is very possible, in some cases likely, for a women to experience post-pardum depression after an abortion. It's so simple but so overlooked. And I'm prone to situational depression as it is. Of course fundie assholes will latch on to this and call it Post Abortion Syndrome. Assholes! I experienced a totally natural side effect of ending a pregnancy and I thougth that I was having serious thoughts of regret and doubt. Thank goodness that cleared up a few weeks later.
Now, I shudder when I think that I could have an almost nine year old child. While my immediate experience with abortion wasn't the best ever, I will never doubt that it was the right thing to do. Given many years of retrospection, I've come to see my abortion as a positive, empowering action. I took the ultimate control over my fertility and am still thankful, on a regular basis, that I had the choice.
Sorry that this was so long, but I think it's important for women to talk in detail, if they want, about their experiences with abortion.
I had my abortion much later than I would have preffered. I am a strong testament to the power of an irregular menstrual cycle combined with denial. I could probably serve as the poster girl for the fundie message of "abortions are only performed for convenience" or "don't let this happen to you".
I was in my early 20's and, to be frank, I didn't care about much, including myself. While I've always been fascinated by sex and sexuallity, I can safely say that I was in a bad place at that time of my life. I couldn't tell you who the father was; there were three candidates. I'm incredibly lucky that all I had was an unintended pregnancy. I'm incredibly lucky that I am, to this day, healthy.
After almost four months of praying that my period was just late and would turn up any day, I finally faced facts. I went to Planned Parenthood and had a pregnancy test. When the nice lady called the next day with the results, I was devestated. I finally had to accept the fact that I had a decision to make.
The funny thing is that there was never a question in my mind about what I would do. I knew from the first moment that I thought I could be pregnant that I would abort. Unfortunately, I had been brainwashed into thinking that abortion was such a horrible, destrucive thing. I soon found out that it is not horrible or destructive or any of the things that fundies talk about. That is, abortion can be a positive experience if the woman choosing it is choosing it for the right reasons.
When I went back to Planned Parenthood, they determined that I was too far along to use their servies. Thankfully, they referred me to a clinic that performed later abortions. The only problem at that point was cost. When I called my mother later that day, I was terrified. Even though I had been raised by her to be pro-choice, I was afraid that she would be angry that I was asking for financial help. I was afraid that she would be mad at me for letting the pregnancy go on for as long as I did. The good news is that she was none of those things. She told me to make the appointment for as soon as I could and let her know so that she could fly out to be with me and pay for the procedure. While I had a few close friends that I confided in, I really don't think I could have gotten through it all without the support of my mother.
I was 18 weeks along when I went in for the procedure. It was a nice, semi-suburban clinic just outside of Boston. There was a security guard between the front door of the building and the main door of the clinic, protected by thick glass, who checked my name and ID against the patient list. He was rather nice looking and kinda hot in all his anit-terrorist gear. I felt kind of weird thinking this guy was hot, but I also wondered if he was there because of his belief in the cause, or because he had been assigned there by his rent-a-cop boss. It didn't matter, but I still wondered.
When I met with the pre-abortion councelor, she commented that, at 18 weeks, it must have been a difficult decision for me. I told her that no, abortion wasn't a difficult decision, accepting that I was pregnant was difficult. She seemed to accept that easily.
I don't remember much of the procedure. I was given something (twilight, I guess) that pretty much put me out for the whole time. Coming to in the recovery room was a bit difficult. Oddly enough, I had a brief hallucination of a cat on a nearby counter, playing with a paper towel roll. When a nurse came by to check on me, I asked about the cat and she told me there was no cat. For some reason, that made me really sad. And I'm not even a fan of cats! I prefer dogs. I recognized one of the other women in the room. I remembered seeing her sitting in the waiting room with a man, presumably her husband. Shortly after I recognized her, her husband came into the recovery room. He joined her and hugged her. They cried together as he rocked her gently. I easily assumed that, what ever their reasons for choosing abortion, it had not been their first choice. While I was positive that my choice was the right one for me, seeing that couple made me very sad. I also wondered if my mother would be allowed to come into the recovery room to comfort me. As it turned out, I sat there for how ever long, by myself, and was eventually walked out to the waiting room by a nurse. My mom, who had seen the husband walked back to the recovery room, also wondered when she would be called back to comfort and take care of me. She wasn't. Afterwords, we were both a little pissed about that.
My mother and I went back to a hotel that she had reserved for us - I hadn't told either of my roommates what was going on; I actually lied, telling them that I was going home for the weekend. Mom and I hung out for the rest of the day and by the next afternoon, I was restless and went out to pick up lunch for us.
After the abortion, I had breast leakage (ick!) and felt very down for the following few weeks. What no one, except for my mother, told me is that it is very possible, in some cases likely, for a women to experience post-pardum depression after an abortion. It's so simple but so overlooked. And I'm prone to situational depression as it is. Of course fundie assholes will latch on to this and call it Post Abortion Syndrome. Assholes! I experienced a totally natural side effect of ending a pregnancy and I thougth that I was having serious thoughts of regret and doubt. Thank goodness that cleared up a few weeks later.
Now, I shudder when I think that I could have an almost nine year old child. While my immediate experience with abortion wasn't the best ever, I will never doubt that it was the right thing to do. Given many years of retrospection, I've come to see my abortion as a positive, empowering action. I took the ultimate control over my fertility and am still thankful, on a regular basis, that I had the choice.
Sorry that this was so long, but I think it's important for women to talk in detail, if they want, about their experiences with abortion.
Sherz
Re: Abortion Experience May 25, 2006 |
You made a good choice, and I'm happy for you that you are content with it. I'm also glad for you that you had the support of your mother. I've only had one real scare in my life. I was young, confused, and stupid! I was engaged to a man that I was about to break up with for various reasons, the biggest being that he was a scary control freak. THe only thing keeping me from breaking up was the fact that I hadn't had my period for 3 months, and I was too afraid to do a home pregnancy test, or go to the college clinic to get tested. I hadn't clued my fiance` in about any of this because I knew I would be REALLY pressured to have the baby. My mom had died earlier that year, and I really felt I had no one to turn to. I finally talked to my grandmother, who is what I consider a fundie Christian. I was wrong though, because after explaining my situation to her, she agreed that I should have an abortion, if I was pregnant, and she offered to pay for it. Because I was afraid of my fiance` finding out, I went to a clinic in another town to get tested. I had never been so happy in my life to find out that I wasn't pregnant! The doctor said I had probably skipped periods because of stress and low body weight. I celebrated that night by breaking with him, and going out with my friends. (What an idiot I was to stay with him out of fear anyway--but at least I've grown up since then!)
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Re: Abortion Experience May 25, 2006 | Registered: 19 years ago Posts: 9,200 |
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Re: Abortion Experience May 25, 2006 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 1,020 |
My abortion was also a very positive experience. I never regretted it or felt guilt like the religious conservatives try to say that most women endure. Nor did I turn to drugs or try to kill myself over my abortion. I only felt depression a little later due to coming down from the drugs I was given. I am prone to being depressed anyway and that is due to total dysfunction when I was growing up.
Sadly, most women are pressured to birth that baby as Sherz mentions. It is easy to guilt women into almost anything since females are taught since they are small children how they are to pander to men and a child-centric society. I have known too many women who wanted to abort but caved into the pressure to have that child. Also, I hate it when a woman feels she must justify her abortion by saying how she WILL have those babies in the future.
It does not matter WHY a woman has an abortion. I am sick of religious zealots going on how women have abortion for "convenience". So what if many of the ladies do! It is no one's business as to WHY a woman aborts. I never wanted any children, period. It would not matter if I was a millionaire. I still would have aborted when I got pregnant almost 12 years ago. I had stayed at a friend's house the night before I had the abortion because I feared that the man I had been seeing at that time would come by my apartment to give me "trouble".
I don't like the I'mNotSorry.com site because the moderator does allow pro-lifers to bash us. I wrote in about it and got the "free speech" speech. I am tired of the anti-abortion crowd saying that we must listen to their point-of-view yet I know one priest in my area who said this but REFUSED to let a pro-choice woman speak at the church.
Sadly, most women are pressured to birth that baby as Sherz mentions. It is easy to guilt women into almost anything since females are taught since they are small children how they are to pander to men and a child-centric society. I have known too many women who wanted to abort but caved into the pressure to have that child. Also, I hate it when a woman feels she must justify her abortion by saying how she WILL have those babies in the future.
It does not matter WHY a woman has an abortion. I am sick of religious zealots going on how women have abortion for "convenience". So what if many of the ladies do! It is no one's business as to WHY a woman aborts. I never wanted any children, period. It would not matter if I was a millionaire. I still would have aborted when I got pregnant almost 12 years ago. I had stayed at a friend's house the night before I had the abortion because I feared that the man I had been seeing at that time would come by my apartment to give me "trouble".
I don't like the I'mNotSorry.com site because the moderator does allow pro-lifers to bash us. I wrote in about it and got the "free speech" speech. I am tired of the anti-abortion crowd saying that we must listen to their point-of-view yet I know one priest in my area who said this but REFUSED to let a pro-choice woman speak at the church.
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Re: Abortion Experience May 25, 2006 | Registered: 17 years ago Posts: 3,897 |
My 2 were both very positive experiences, it felt like a HUGE boulder was lifted from my shoulders and such a feeling of relief, renewal and being back in control of my life came over me. I NEVER wanted kids and was so pissed that despite faithful birth control (the pill) I got pregnant.
The only thing that upset me is that after my first one, I had such a terrible headache from not being able to eat until after the procedure, that I wasn't fully able to enjoy my shopping experience afterward.
The only thing that upset me is that after my first one, I had such a terrible headache from not being able to eat until after the procedure, that I wasn't fully able to enjoy my shopping experience afterward.
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Re: Abortion Experience May 25, 2006 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 1,020 |
I went shopping afterwards (next day after the abortion) and enjoyed every bit of it. Even went out to supper! I also felt a huge relief once I got off the table/bed/whatever at the abortion clinic. Until the day of my abortion, all I felt was major anxiety knowing I was pregnant with that baby inside of me. God...what an awful feeling! I also shudder to think that I could have an eleven-year-old child had I been a fool and had that bay-bee.
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Re: Abortion Experience May 25, 2006 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 1,020 |
Sherz, a lot of women stay with men out of fear. Due to abuse many men inflict on women, many of us do grow up with that subconscious fear of what can happen to us if we do leave a controlling man. It took me until I was 34 to stop being afraid. I had a rocky relationship for a couple of years with a man who was very intimidating. I stayed due to many fears. Finally breaking off with this jerk in 1998 empowered me in many ways. I am no longer a timid woman.
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Re: Abortion Experience May 25, 2006 | Registered: 17 years ago Posts: 3,897 |
I was with a stalking lunatic for nearly 6 years on and off; from the time I was 18 to almost 24. Couldn't get rid of this guy, he was like a bad virus. The cops even refused to intervene and my parents stood by and did nothing. He damaged my cars, threatened my friends and guys I was dating when we were broken up. The only reason I went back with him was because he absolutely would not leave me alone, plus I was young and stupid.
Once we were in his car driving and arguing, and he elbowed me in the face - first and last time ever. I flipped out and started kicking the shit out of him while he was trying to drive. He started to pull the car over and I jumped out of the moving vehicle. I ran to a mini-market and he started to chase after me until I got inside. It was midnight and I had to walk 6 miles home, slinking behind buildings because he was still looking for me. I moved out of the area 3 months later and never saw him again. My family was the only ones who knew where I moved to. Had this been a situation where I lived alone and he was breaking into my home and threatening me, I would have bought a gun. There was no way I was going to let this fucker control my life.
Once we were in his car driving and arguing, and he elbowed me in the face - first and last time ever. I flipped out and started kicking the shit out of him while he was trying to drive. He started to pull the car over and I jumped out of the moving vehicle. I ran to a mini-market and he started to chase after me until I got inside. It was midnight and I had to walk 6 miles home, slinking behind buildings because he was still looking for me. I moved out of the area 3 months later and never saw him again. My family was the only ones who knew where I moved to. Had this been a situation where I lived alone and he was breaking into my home and threatening me, I would have bought a gun. There was no way I was going to let this fucker control my life.
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Re: Abortion Experience May 25, 2006 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 9,979 |
My ex had somewhat of a controlling attitude. Things began nicely and I was in the mindset that I was going to be with him forever, blah blah blah...he was my first boyfriend. Eventually, though, he started getting really controlling of me, and I'm so thankful that all the shit he did to me is now little more than memories. He would make me talk to him over the phone for at least 2 hours, and most of the time I would just say to him "I have nothing to talk about, so I'm putting the phone down. Beep at me if you want something". Then of course he went on to harass my male friends because he thought they were trying to steal me from him.
When I actually loved the guy, he asked me to live with him for a year after graduation instead of going right to college. I said yes at first, but then people talked some sense into me and I went back on my word (not a promise, but just a "yes"). I decided I wanted to go to college and not waste time...but this did not stop him from nagging me. He asked me to live with him for two weeks during my summer break, then asking me to stay with him on weekends, etc. You get it.
At some point, he began trying to make me get engaged to him, and he would bring a handful of rings to school with him every day for about two weeks. These rings, all potential engagement rings to him, ranged from rings he stole from his mother's jewelry box to gumball machine rings. I declined them all and he finally told me to find a ring I like that I own that I want to use for our engagement. As graduation neared, he whined that he was going to move to the city with me when I go to college - he figured he could just get an apartment and be lazy and make me live with him. What he did not know was that apartments around here can run pretty damn high. A guy who has never worked a day in his life was going to afford an apartment by himself. Yeah, sure. I think he began insisting that he would live in my dorm with me, and it took me a few hours to explain to him that student dorms are for students only.
And the jewel of it came when he began pressuring me to have kids with him. He spouted off all these horrible reasons why he wanted to have kids and he would bitch at me when I said I didn't want kids, that I hated them, and I planned on getting sterilized as soon as I could afford it. Then he found out I was considering leaving him and I stupidly gave him a second chance. He was sweet to me for about a month, and then he was back to his old habits. He was in this mindset, as I said before, that every guy in the world was out to take me from him, and he wasn't sure if he could trust me when I was in college. One day he told me to my face, and I quote, "I want us to get engaged so I can trust you." He admitted he didn't trust me after I had given him no reason to be suspicious.
That was the last straw. With the help of a friend who I had fallen in love with, I got away from that asshole. He flooded my email with messages saying "I'm so sorry please come back to me", blah blah blah bullshit. In one of his emails, he tried to appeal to my beliefs and told me something like, "If we get back together, you can get your tubes tied. But you'll have to get them untied when we get ready to have kids." Some people never change.
The reason I stayed with this guy for so long, you ask? Despite the fact that he made me shed many tears and even consider suicide as a way to get away, I didn't leave him right away because I was so afraid of hurting him. Now I know enough to never be afraid to leave a guy.
{end long-winded rant}
When I actually loved the guy, he asked me to live with him for a year after graduation instead of going right to college. I said yes at first, but then people talked some sense into me and I went back on my word (not a promise, but just a "yes"). I decided I wanted to go to college and not waste time...but this did not stop him from nagging me. He asked me to live with him for two weeks during my summer break, then asking me to stay with him on weekends, etc. You get it.
At some point, he began trying to make me get engaged to him, and he would bring a handful of rings to school with him every day for about two weeks. These rings, all potential engagement rings to him, ranged from rings he stole from his mother's jewelry box to gumball machine rings. I declined them all and he finally told me to find a ring I like that I own that I want to use for our engagement. As graduation neared, he whined that he was going to move to the city with me when I go to college - he figured he could just get an apartment and be lazy and make me live with him. What he did not know was that apartments around here can run pretty damn high. A guy who has never worked a day in his life was going to afford an apartment by himself. Yeah, sure. I think he began insisting that he would live in my dorm with me, and it took me a few hours to explain to him that student dorms are for students only.
And the jewel of it came when he began pressuring me to have kids with him. He spouted off all these horrible reasons why he wanted to have kids and he would bitch at me when I said I didn't want kids, that I hated them, and I planned on getting sterilized as soon as I could afford it. Then he found out I was considering leaving him and I stupidly gave him a second chance. He was sweet to me for about a month, and then he was back to his old habits. He was in this mindset, as I said before, that every guy in the world was out to take me from him, and he wasn't sure if he could trust me when I was in college. One day he told me to my face, and I quote, "I want us to get engaged so I can trust you." He admitted he didn't trust me after I had given him no reason to be suspicious.
That was the last straw. With the help of a friend who I had fallen in love with, I got away from that asshole. He flooded my email with messages saying "I'm so sorry please come back to me", blah blah blah bullshit. In one of his emails, he tried to appeal to my beliefs and told me something like, "If we get back together, you can get your tubes tied. But you'll have to get them untied when we get ready to have kids." Some people never change.
The reason I stayed with this guy for so long, you ask? Despite the fact that he made me shed many tears and even consider suicide as a way to get away, I didn't leave him right away because I was so afraid of hurting him. Now I know enough to never be afraid to leave a guy.
{end long-winded rant}
Anonymous User
Re: Abortion Experience May 25, 2006 |
I've had two abortions,three actually considering the first time I had it done in 1990(?) I had it done to soon and they had to do it over. I've always been like clockwork with my period and then I missed. The worst part was I really didn't know why I'd slept with this loser(problely cause I was drinking far too much in those days)and it really made me sick to think that 1.I'd had sex with him 2.I was preggo with his baby. Then I had to pay for the abortion!!! I was very poor back then. Also the nearest clinic with general aneastia(spelling?) was two hours away. They had to redo it cause I was still preg. The second one,my BF at the time made me have sex with him and there was condom failure. I will not go on Imnotsorry.com for the same reasons India cited. It is BULLSHIT because that fundie gets his voice heard and we have no place to go. There MUST be another site that supports abortion!
-Everytime someone gets an abortion, an angel in heaven gets her wings.
PS I stopped drinking after the first abortion cause I knew it was nothing but trouble.
-Everytime someone gets an abortion, an angel in heaven gets her wings.
PS I stopped drinking after the first abortion cause I knew it was nothing but trouble.
Anonymous User
Re: Abortion Experience May 25, 2006 |
The only real scare I ever had was last year. Although Catdaddy is snipped, and I have never cheated on him, I skipped a period.
I freaked out, but at least I knew I could tell my husband about it. I mean, if he wanted a kid, why would he have gotten snipped. Abortion was the only option we bothered to discuss.
Turned out I was not pregnant, probably just a sign of perimenopause, given my age (mid 40's).
But, like some of you ladies, I have had past experiences with controlling men, including my ex-husband, the wannabreeder. The great thing about abortion is that you can have it done and not tell anyone. If, DOG forbid, I had gotten pregnant by the wannabreeder ex, I would have immediately gone for an abortion without telling him. If I'd been pregnant and he found out about it, not only woudl he try to make me have the kid, but he'd sic his while breederific family on me, as well. No doubt that they would have PHYSICALLY prevented me from going for the prcedure, if they could!
Luckily, it never came to that, and the marriage ended, in part due to my refusal to breed. The way I see it, we all make mistakes, and date/marry/fuck the wrong people at times. We need the option to NOT have to be stuck with these mistakes forever, and move on. And I see this as nothing but a positive experience.
I freaked out, but at least I knew I could tell my husband about it. I mean, if he wanted a kid, why would he have gotten snipped. Abortion was the only option we bothered to discuss.
Turned out I was not pregnant, probably just a sign of perimenopause, given my age (mid 40's).
But, like some of you ladies, I have had past experiences with controlling men, including my ex-husband, the wannabreeder. The great thing about abortion is that you can have it done and not tell anyone. If, DOG forbid, I had gotten pregnant by the wannabreeder ex, I would have immediately gone for an abortion without telling him. If I'd been pregnant and he found out about it, not only woudl he try to make me have the kid, but he'd sic his while breederific family on me, as well. No doubt that they would have PHYSICALLY prevented me from going for the prcedure, if they could!
Luckily, it never came to that, and the marriage ended, in part due to my refusal to breed. The way I see it, we all make mistakes, and date/marry/fuck the wrong people at times. We need the option to NOT have to be stuck with these mistakes forever, and move on. And I see this as nothing but a positive experience.
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Re: Abortion Experience May 26, 2006 | Registered: 18 years ago Posts: 1,020 |
Cambion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Then he
> found out I was considering leaving him and I
> stupidly gave him a second chance. He was sweet to
> me for about a month, and then he was back to his
> old habits. He was in this mindset, as I said
> before, that
Boy...it took me a long time to learn this lesson: go back to a man, is kindly & loving for two weeks to a month, and then back to being the usual jerk again. I am glad you did not have to wait until your 30's (when I finally learned), Cambion! This one fellow I ended it with when he was playing relationship "games" tried to contact me a couple of months later. I told him to "no longer contact me anymore". I had no interest. I knew the man was just looking for something to do and would be back to the usual B*S* in two weeks to a month. Glad I am over it. I can see reconciling if the other person is truly sorry for bad behaviour and has worked on it. That has happened and I am glad I gave the fellow another chance because he was sincere.
-------------------------------------------------------
> Then he
> found out I was considering leaving him and I
> stupidly gave him a second chance. He was sweet to
> me for about a month, and then he was back to his
> old habits. He was in this mindset, as I said
> before, that
Boy...it took me a long time to learn this lesson: go back to a man, is kindly & loving for two weeks to a month, and then back to being the usual jerk again. I am glad you did not have to wait until your 30's (when I finally learned), Cambion! This one fellow I ended it with when he was playing relationship "games" tried to contact me a couple of months later. I told him to "no longer contact me anymore". I had no interest. I knew the man was just looking for something to do and would be back to the usual B*S* in two weeks to a month. Glad I am over it. I can see reconciling if the other person is truly sorry for bad behaviour and has worked on it. That has happened and I am glad I gave the fellow another chance because he was sincere.
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