Attachment sleeping? How about attachment *bathing*?

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kidlesskim
larious I hate to sound like the old fashioned fart that I am, but when I was that age and a girl got knocked up, which by the way was quite rare in comparison to now, there were 3 options. 1)Abortion 2)Go away to an unwed moo school and give it up for adoption or 3)Get married It was NOT ALLOWED to come to school "showing" and NO ONE openly talked about whatever option that they had chosen either, that is if the pregnancy was ever known about in the first place. That might be sexist and out dated, but at least we didn't have mooternity cheerleader outfits, belly photo ops at the prom, and a day care center at the high school. MISTAKES weren't glorified like they are now and flashed about to taint the underclassmen.

Oh gosh. I finished high school in the 70s. If one saw a pregnant girl in the hall, it was most likely because her parents were punishing her for getting pregnant by making her continue to go to school. And she might as well have had a Scarlett A sewn on her high school sweatshirt. She would be seen, staring straight ahead and furtively scurrying between classes with her books hugged to her ballooning belly as if she could hide it. Other students talked to her, but there was no discussion about being pregnant.

One girl in my junior class brought her baby to school (specifically the Home Ec class) soon after birth. I know today that it was probably a combo of the knowledge about the huge mistake she had made PLUS the birth hormones, but as she was talking about the baby she broke down in loud, braying sobs. Most of the rest of us girls were uncomfortable; looking at our feet and not one another; as the new mother's BFF and the teacher lead her from the room.

Young women during that decade .... I think we were sort of a cusp generation. Before us were women who had gone to college to get their Mrs. Degree, merging with women who viewed college as an opportunity to become socially conscious (protest the Vietnam War and support Women's Lib). Young women my age saw college as a means of furthering our education and reach a higher pinnacle of becoming self-supporting and independent. To us, having a baby in high school meant the END of those aspirations. There was certainly little celebration in it.

I think that world has been gone for at least 20 years, Dorisan and Kim, since I know that in my school, in the 90s, there were already girls going about high school nonchalantly pregnant. Some managed to have more than one child by the time they finished school (one girl had 3). Since the town was full of fundies, there was a lot of anti-abortion attitude, yet at the same time none of them seemed to think that giving the baby up for adoption was a good idea. Some of these women are now grandmothers...

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yurble
I think that world has been gone for at least 20 years, Dorisan and Kim, since I know that in my school, in the 90s, there were already girls going about high school nonchalantly pregnant. Some managed to have more than one child by the time they finished school (one girl had 3). Since the town was full of fundies, there was a lot of anti-abortion attitude, yet at the same time none of them seemed to think that giving the baby up for adoption was a good idea. Some of these women are now grandmothers...

That sounds about right in the area where I went to school too in that it started it's descent at the end of the late 1980's in public schools. However, in that area (South Central Alabama, USA)in the cites there is a huge array of private schools that are generally Christian "academies" where that kind of shit is STILL not allowed, ironically. Not only do they still preach abstinence only as THE only birth control option. they have a "rule" that upon learning of a student pregnancy IMMEDIATE EXPULSION is mandatory and a complete "investigation" gets underway. If it can be determined who the guilty boy is then he too is expelled(which is refreshing). They of course do NOT believe in abortion, so they "counsel" the girl to have the baby and either raise it(or her parents will likely raise it) or place it for adoption. There IS no going to school knocked up.

They also have a NO SEX rule and encourage tattle telling. Having sex is a violation and punishment can include expulsion. In addition, if a student is aware that another student is having sex and doesn't report it, then HE/SHE is subject to the same punitive guidelines. In the public schools and the non religious private schools, it's the same as everywhere else. You'll see more belly rubbing going on within the walls of the schools than you do book bags and there is NO shame in it either anymore. I knew of two girls in high school who left school to have babies and adopt out, one who was a senior who actually married her boyfriend and quit school, and there were NUMEROUS girls who were rumored to have aborted, but NONE of it was talked about much.


From the 2010-2011 handbook
http://www.alabamachristian.com/docs/handbooksec.pdf

"Alabama Christian Academy is a family oriented institution. Students accepted for admission to ACA are bound by the standards, regulations and requirements of the school even at school-related functions, whether on or off campus. ALL PARENTS AND STUDENTS ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR KNOWING AND ABIDING BY THE STANDARDS, REGULATIONS AND REQUIREMENTS OF THIS HANDBOOK. It is strongly suggested that parents lead their children by setting an appropriate standard of compliance.

In line with its Christian philosophy, the Academy strongly encourages parent-school communication and cooperation and upholds a firm and consistent yet fair code of student discipline and behavior. The development of personal responsibility is a major goal for our students. ACA holds firm to its strong stand against smoking, gambling, drinking, premarital sex, and substance abuse. The Academy does not allow the enrollment and/or attendance of students who have been married, have had children, have been pregnant, or have impregnated. Student behavior, on or off campus, which is illicit, immoral, illegal, and/or which reflects adversely on Alabama Christian Academy could cause immediate expulsion.
The school does not sponsor, endorse, nor encourage dances. A Jr.-Sr. banquet is held each year.

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!

Wait, so they don't encourage premarital sex, but they also don't allow married students?

The fundies where I lived were opposed to premarital sex, of course, but it was sort of a slap-on-the-wrist sort of response compared to how they felt about abortion. The pregnant girls at school were almost viewed as good, because it was obvious that they hadn't had abortions. Once a girl ended up pregnant, and made her 'moral decision' not to have an abortion, hatred transferred to the boy who had to 'do the right thing' and marry her. If he didn't, he was the bad one.

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yurble
Wait, so they don't encourage premarital sex, but they also don't allow married students?

The fundies where I lived were opposed to premarital sex, of course, but it was sort of a slap-on-the-wrist sort of response compared to how they felt about abortion. The pregnant girls at school were almost viewed as good, because it was obvious that they hadn't had abortions.

NOT in that area, which in addition to being a fundie mecca, it also has a big self righteous population. The alleged reasoning behind the "no marriage" is that they are underage The legal age to marry in Alabama is 18 and the school is k-12. Even though there may be few 18 year old seniors, it's common knowledge(in that area) that a student attending a college prep school would ONLY be getting married at that age due to having been knocked up, which of course means that they had premarital sex which is a no no. If they even FIND OUT that someone had been pregnant or did the knocking up, expulsion is immediate. Their rules state in the very beginning that they reserve the right to not accept for enrollment, to discontinue enrollment, or to expel for ANY reason, which could be (AND HAS BEEN)based on a rumor.

I knew many kids who attended that school and the actual "rules" were much stricter and ALL rules were heavily enforced too. It's a Church Of Christ school, but there are Baptist and Catholic schools in that area with the same rules. Being seen smoking or drinking is grounds for expulsion too as is most ALL "amoral" activities and whether they actually participated is meaningless. They have a strong, 'if you lay down with dogs, you get up with fleas" philosophy.

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!

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yurble
I think that world has been gone for at least 20 years, Dorisan and Kim, since I know that in my school, in the 90s, there were already girls going about high school nonchalantly pregnant. Some managed to have more than one child by the time they finished school (one girl had 3). Since the town was full of fundies, there was a lot of anti-abortion attitude, yet at the same time none of them seemed to think that giving the baby up for adoption was a good idea. Some of these women are now grandmothers...

there were pregnant girls in school in the 80's here, bragging about it. we don't have "fundies" much here.

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kidlesskim
NOT in that area, which in addition to being a fundie mecca, it also has a big self righteous population. The alleged reasoning behind the "no marriage" is that they are underage The legal age to marry in Alabama is 18 and the school is k-12. Even though there may be few 18 year old seniors, it's common knowledge(in that area) that a student attending a college prep school would ONLY be getting married at that age due to having been knocked up, which of course means that they had premarital sex which is a no no. If they even FIND OUT that someone had been pregnant or did the knocking up, expulsion is immediate. Their rules state in the very beginning that they reserve the right to not accept for enrollment, to discontinue enrollment, or to expel for ANY reason, which could be (AND HAS BEEN)based on a rumor.

One of my high school friends got married at 16 (with parental permission). She wasn't even knocked up at the time. They had their first child after she graduated, and the second many years later. She and her husband are still married, too. I would have thought a situation like this would have passed inspection for a school like you described, but I guess not.

I can't imagine who would want to attend a school where rumor was treated as proof.

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zatoth
there were pregnant girls in school in the 80's here, bragging about it. we don't have "fundies" much here.

So they're not morally opposed to it, and they still won't get abortions? What's wrong with people?

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yurble

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zatoth
there were pregnant girls in school in the 80's here, bragging about it. we don't have "fundies" much here.

So they're not morally opposed to it, and they still won't get abortions? What's wrong with people?

cumberland county is a huge welfare district.

I know some dumb girl in my old Catholic elementary/junior high school got her ass knocked up in eighth grade (so she was probably 13-15 years old). I don't know if she willingly dropped out or got thrown out, but she'd occasionally waddle her disgusting, bloated ass from her house (which was right across the street from the school) and talk with the kids who were out at recess (for some reason, all grades went out for recess).

Boy, this girl was a super special one. She fell behind a whole year in school, shat out her kid and I think tried to hurt the kid in some way, so TeenSlut's mother adopted the child and raised it to believe it's actual mother was his sister. Of course, TeenSlut tried to confuse the hell out of the kid over the course of his life by trying to make him call her Mommy. From what I gather, the dumb whore shat out another kid and married an abusive asshole - I wonder if her mother is still stuck raising her first mistake, which would probably be around 8 or 9 at this point. I don't have an ounce of sympathy for her - people who shit out kids in their teens almost never go on to live meaningful lives. She might have had a better chance if she just got a damn abortion quietly, but nooooo...gotta have that baybee. Of course, she showed up in church many times with her huge gut so everyone knew she was incubating. Maybe if she hadn't fucked her life so early, she wouldn't have become one of the useless slackers who did nothing but do vo-tech rather than go to actual classes. (Maybe vo-tech is meant to be a good thing, but in my school, it was for the people who didn't feel like going to actual class because they were stupid or lazy).

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kidlesskim

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Dorisan

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kidlesskim
Oh for crying out loud! How many boys DID she sleep with anyway? That girl LOOKS at least 20 years old and the boys look like 7th graders, which I suppose that they were at the time! So, I guess this is just another case of teen pregnancy and a "who da daddy" game. It's hysterical that the moo of the slut claims that her wittle girl was a "virgin" before she met this Alfie kid. This is shameful and the little bitch(and the boy too) look so PROOOWWDD and puffed out like a peacock. This kinda shit makes me sick.

It's sick, but I can't help but laugh a little. The girl sounds like the town pump, though her mum insists that nothing could have happened because of the size of her bedroom and narrowness of the bed. Errrr .. lady .. ya never heard of kids being conceived in the back seat of a car?

And that poor Alfie. Honestly. He talks about "being good" as in "I guess if I'm good, and promise to take care of the baby, Mum won't force me to eat brussell sprouts."

And the rest of those boys ... "Locals heard his gleeful brother Jake, 17, running up and down the street outside their council house after Maisie was born. He was yelling: "My brother's sh***** Chantelle. He could be the dad."

Is that the modern version of "Alfie and Chantelle, sitting in a tree - K.I.S.S.I.N.G" changed to "F.U.C.K.I.N.G"?

Maybe the Mayan prophecies of 2012 ought to be true. The human race -- we are doomed.

larious I hate to sound like the old fashioned fart that I am, but when I was that age and a girl got knocked up, which by the way was quite rare in comparison to now, there were 3 options. 1)Abortion 2)Go away to an unwed moo school and give it up for adoption or 3)Get married It was NOT ALLOWED to come to school "showing" and NO ONE openly talked about whatever option that they had chosen either, that is if the pregnancy was ever known about in the first place. That might be sexist and out dated, but at least we didn't have mooternity cheerleader outfits, belly photo ops at the prom, and a day care center at the high school. MISTAKES weren't glorified like they are now and flashed about to taint the underclassmen. Now, there is NO incentive to not get knocked up in high school because it's "cool": and you can still make homecoming court if you are 8 months INpig and the PTA will throw you a fucking baybee shower.

You don't sound like an old fart.You sound like an intelligent person. It's a shame there aren't more out there.

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zatoth

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yurble

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zatoth
there were pregnant girls in school in the 80's here, bragging about it. we don't have "fundies" much here.

So they're not morally opposed to it, and they still won't get abortions? What's wrong with people?

cumberland county is a huge welfare district.

Oh, so stupid, lazy, and entitlement-minded.

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yurble
I think that world has been gone for at least 20 years, Dorisan and Kim

And I'm ambivalent about that. I certainly don't think that getting pregnant so young, with the father typically taking a powder, is a good thing, but the means used at that time to suppress the problem - shame - didn't accomplish much.

Maybe because I was always the one on the straight and narrow path, but my thoughts always ranged to "can't they use their brains? what a stupid thing to do!" Just call me Logical

I remember the discussion we young women had in our junior year, after seeing how a fellow class member totally f* up her life having a baby at 17. It was almost as if we were attending a wake and mourning her passing: "boy, she would have had a great life. Her sister moved to Washington, DC and got a job; she was going to let Laura (preggo) come stay with her after she graduated. Laura was so smart, I bet she would have had a chance to really make something of herself - in Washington, DC. Can you imagine?" Living in a podunk town in northwest Arkansas, the chance to move away and live in a place like Washington, DC was nearly beyond our ability to imagine. Yet, that girl threw it all away for a few tickles in the back seat of some doofus' Trans Am.

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Dorisan

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yurble
I think that world has been gone for at least 20 years, Dorisan and Kim

And I'm ambivalent about that. I certainly don't think that getting pregnant so young, with the father typically taking a powder, is a good thing, but the means used at that time to suppress the problem - shame - didn't accomplish much.

Maybe because I was always the one on the straight and narrow path, but my thoughts always ranged to "can't they use their brains? what a stupid thing to do!" Just call me Logical

I remember the discussion we young women had in our junior year, after seeing how a fellow class member totally f* up her life having a baby at 17. It was almost as if we were attending a wake and mourning her passing: "boy, she would have had a great life. Her sister moved to Washington, DC and got a job; she was going to let Laura (preggo) come stay with her after she graduated. Laura was so smart, I bet she would have had a chance to really make something of herself - in Washington, DC. Can you imagine?" Living in a podunk town in northwest Arkansas, the chance to move away and live in a place like Washington, DC was nearly beyond our ability to imagine. Yet, that girl threw it all away for a few tickles in the back seat of some doofus' Trans Am.

I dunno. I think that shame can be a pretty powerful tool capable of yielding positive results, if used properly and under the right circumstances. Some things need to be shameful because shame is a deterrent to keeping us out of all kinds of jams and messes. If they are getting knocked up at 16 and can't name the baybee daddy(due to the vast numbers of fuck buddies) or he disappears and/or denies, then that right there should evoke at least three different types of shame, for instance.

1)Lack of care about herself, her health, and of her future and of same for her future CHILD, for God's sake
2)That she lacks adequate decision making and common sense that sex without birth control illustrates and of poor decisions concerning who she sleeps with and with whom she makes a baby
3)That she has no self control or pride in herself and her actions

Shame(or the fear of it) kept a LOT of girls from either getting knocked up or of going through with unwanted pregnancies prior to 1990 or so. Once teen pregnancy became a desensitized condition, accepted by the masses, the consequences removed, and the shame of it taken away, then it became rampant to the point of being revered and even a desired condition. Back as recently as the 1980's, becoming knocked up in high school meant no more participation in school clubs, elimination from homecoming court voting ballots, and dismissal from any and ALL positions of leadership including holding class office or any spots on the drill team or cheerleading squad and/or sports' teams. Pregnant valedictorians were NOT acceptable!(although we had few of those types getting knocked up, too smart) They weren't even allowed to attend class with big bellies and a home school curriculum or an unwed mother's school were the only options so they couldn't even graduate with their class.m

Now though, day care centers in schools is a popular trend, strollers in school hallways are common as are bellies everywhere, and they can go RIGHT ON with their lives as if nothing has changed. When shame is gone and there are no consequences for irresponsible behavior, then this is what you get. It's also why there are so many 30 something grandparents who are raising multiple baybees of their teen children. Not much else makes me nauseated more than when these grandmoos say shit like, "We wish that Tardalina had waited until she was older, but we wouldn't trade this grandbaybee for ANYTHING in the world!!!!!!!". It's easy to see why their daughters are irresponsible sluts when they have this attitude. I would have been sent to an unwed mother's school, no doubt!

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!

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Dorisan

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yurble
I think that world has been gone for at least 20 years, Dorisan and Kim

And I'm ambivalent about that. I certainly don't think that getting pregnant so young, with the father typically taking a powder, is a good thing, but the means used at that time to suppress the problem - shame - didn't accomplish much.

Maybe because I was always the one on the straight and narrow path, but my thoughts always ranged to "can't they use their brains? what a stupid thing to do!" Just call me Logical

I remember the discussion we young women had in our junior year, after seeing how a fellow class member totally f* up her life having a baby at 17. It was almost as if we were attending a wake and mourning her passing: "boy, she would have had a great life. Her sister moved to Washington, DC and got a job; she was going to let Laura (preggo) come stay with her after she graduated. Laura was so smart, I bet she would have had a chance to really make something of herself - in Washington, DC. Can you imagine?" Living in a podunk town in northwest Arkansas, the chance to move away and live in a place like Washington, DC was nearly beyond our ability to imagine. Yet, that girl threw it all away for a few tickles in the back seat of some doofus' Trans Am.

It seems that it has been acceptable for at least 20 years to get knocked up and go to school...I'm not saying that I find it fathomable why anyone would want that, but some clearly do. I wouldn't want to go back to the past, when the girl was shamed but the boy wasn't, but it would be nice if the entire thing weren't glorified, but just seen as a stupid thing to do.

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yurble
It seems that it has been acceptable for at least 20 years to get knocked up and go to school...I'm not saying that I find it fathomable why anyone would want that, but some clearly do. I wouldn't want to go back to the past, when the girl was shamed but the boy wasn't, but it would be nice if the entire thing weren't glorified, but just seen as a stupid thing to do.

I agree yurble, but would like to add my two cents regarding the girl getting the "shame" in yesteryear, but not the boy. It depends, because I knew of one boy(age 14) whose girlfriend got knocked up and sent off to an unwed mothers school and he was expelled from the Christian Academy where he attended and had to finish school in an academically inferior school. Also, word got out about it and no parents would allow him to date their daughters! So, in that case there was shame and blame on the boy. However, for the most part the boys denied it and they didn't have the "who's da daddy" tests back then. Also, even though it is VERY unfair that the girls are the ones who bear the visible results of being knocked up, it's ALSO not fair that women have to have periods either.

Since girls know that getting knocked up will affect THEIR bodies and outward appearance, then I feel like that the brunt of the "blame" and shame SHOULD go to them. It's not like that they aren't aware of the consequences, so therefore they should be more vigilant regarding using birth control which WAS available during the 70's Not just with pregnancy, but if anything affects someone's own body, they they should be held responsible for it whether it's getting drunk, sticking a needle in their vein, or having a baby.(assuming it was consensual sex) Of course the boy is responsible as well, but why should he care? HE isn't the one who is ultimately responsible for the birth and subsequent baby care and if he is underage, it would be YEARS before he would be held legally liable for child support.

The incentive for boys to care is JUST not there, simply due to biology. Sadly too, society STILL pats a boy on the back for having sex while the girl is "shamed".I don't see that attitude changing anytime soon either. Personally, I believe that they should identify paternity and send the bundle of joy home with teen duddy and HIS parents. The girls and their moos wouldn't stand for this of course, which is ALSO part of the problem. These girls WANT the baybees for some UNGodly reason.

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!

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herbalgeek
What with women fucking their husbands while their kids are sleeping in the same bed, to letting their udders flap in the breeze, to some woman breastfeeding her dad, why in the hell should this surprise me?

<Blink>

<Blink>

Some woman breastfed her dad???

I've been away from Bratfree too long. This shouldn't surprise me.

SkyEyes

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kidlesskim
That sounds about right in the area where I went to school too in that it started it's descent at the end of the late 1980's in public schools. However, in that area (South Central Alabama, USA)in the cites there is a huge array of private schools that are generally Christian "academies" where that kind of shit is STILL not allowed, ironically. Not only do they still preach abstinence only as THE only birth control option. they have a "rule" that upon learning of a student pregnancy IMMEDIATE EXPULSION is mandatory and a complete "investigation" gets underway. If it can be determined who the guilty boy is then he too is expelled(which is refreshing). They of course do NOT believe in abortion, so they "counsel" the girl to have the baby and either raise it(or her parents will likely raise it) or place it for adoption. There IS no going to school knocked up.

They also have a NO SEX rule and encourage tattle telling. Having sex is a violation and punishment can include expulsion. In addition, if a student is aware that another student is having sex and doesn't report it, then HE/SHE is subject to the same punitive guidelines. In the public schools and the non religious private schools, it's the same as everywhere else. You'll see more belly rubbing going on within the walls of the schools than you do book bags and there is NO shame in it either anymore. I knew of two girls in high school who left school to have babies and adopt out, one who was a senior who actually married her boyfriend and quit school, and there were NUMEROUS girls who were rumored to have aborted, but NONE of it was talked about much.


From the 2010-2011 handbook
http://www.alabamachristian.com/docs/handbooksec.pdf

"Alabama Christian Academy is a family oriented institution. Students accepted for admission to ACA are bound by the standards, regulations and requirements of the school even at school-related functions, whether on or off campus. ALL PARENTS AND STUDENTS ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR KNOWING AND ABIDING BY THE STANDARDS, REGULATIONS AND REQUIREMENTS OF THIS HANDBOOK. It is strongly suggested that parents lead their children by setting an appropriate standard of compliance.

In line with its Christian philosophy, the Academy strongly encourages parent-school communication and cooperation and upholds a firm and consistent yet fair code of student discipline and behavior. The development of personal responsibility is a major goal for our students. ACA holds firm to its strong stand against smoking, gambling, drinking, premarital sex, and substance abuse. The Academy does not allow the enrollment and/or attendance of students who have been married, have had children, have been pregnant, or have impregnated. Student behavior, on or off campus, which is illicit, immoral, illegal, and/or which reflects adversely on Alabama Christian Academy could cause immediate expulsion.
The school does not sponsor, endorse, nor encourage dances. A Jr.-Sr. banquet is held each year.

I went to a Christian, but not a fundamentalist school. There was a girl who got pregnant and left the school. I don't know if she was required to or if she chose to, but she did leave. Her younger brother faced constant harassment after the word got around. It got to the point where he just couldn't take it anymore and had to transfer out himself. It was pretty bad in my opinion because this guy never had any problems and got along well with everyone, then they all went against him just because of his sister.

I don't think much of fundies, but do think that there need to be standards enforced in schools. They also need to be enforced in the home as well. As for the code of conduct, I think the reason they don't want married students are students who have had children is they don't want that influence in the school. They actually want the kids to abstain. Having all these pregnant girls walking around drawing attention to themselves, or guys bragging about what they did, disrupts the learning environment.

The no dances thing would have been OK with me as well. I didn't like constantly getting teased for not going, something that started when I was in public school in 8th grade and went on through the Christian High School. The way some of them behaved about my not wanting to, was like I was trying to keep them from going. It made no sense.

JD

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yurble

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zatoth

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yurble

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zatoth
there were pregnant girls in school in the 80's here, bragging about it. we don't have "fundies" much here.

So they're not morally opposed to it, and they still won't get abortions? What's wrong with people?

cumberland county is a huge welfare district.

Oh, so stupid, lazy, and entitlement-minded.

tell me about it!