#1598 -- Moving in with a wanna-daddio

Guest, I am no relationship expert. Look at my life! However, my advice is to not even think of moving in with a man who may not be rabid but thinks "you will come around". Trust me when I say that these wannbe-dads get even worse once the woman moves in or has that wedding band on her left hand. Another member, Catmommy, has posted on the exact same thing. Try fishing for her posts to see how these situations get much worse. A man or woman who wants to breed never "gets nicer" about it.

Thanks, India. And I will emphasize that NO NO NO WAY should a CF move in with a wannabreed partner.

At first, my ex-husband didn't seem to care that I didn't want kids. He just wanted ME, or so he said.

After the wedding, it was a whole 'nother ball game. His mommy wanted grand-brats (even though she had two from his breeder sister, that wasn't enough). We were always dragged to stupid loaf/toadler birthday parties, and there, the bingoes would fly.

A big part of why the marriage broke up was because of his family's pressure on him to breed, the fact that the ex really wanted a *mini-me* (actually a *mini-him*), and my refusal to cooperate with such.

If he had said from the get-go that he was hell-bent on having kids, no way would I have married him. And that is why I advise you, Guest, to NOT move in with this guy at this time. If he's expecting you to *come around*, that is a bad sign.

If he's a nice guy and you like him, just date him some more. See how it goes. Just please don't invest too much right now by moving in with him. If he still thinks he wants kids after a time, then it is time to dump him.

In the long run, if you two can't agree on the kids issue, it will NEVER work out. Trust me.

I wish you the best.

run like the very hounds of hell are after you.

if you marry him/move in, with him you will hear gimme a babby gimme gimme gimme gimme, it wont hurt. and if you still refuse, he may oops you, then if you have an abortion, he will resent you and make your life hell. if you keep it, you may resent that kid and hurt it.

as a man, i would say get away from that man, he will only cause you pain and anguish. but thats my opinion, but you should decide what you want.

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Lord, what fools these mortals be!
- A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act III, Scene ii

Voltaire said: "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."

H.L.Mencken wrote:"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.”

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein

Been there, done that! I put up with a jerk for two years who would pull stunts like getting teary eyed when he saw a baby on TV, or tell me I would never look more beautiful than when pregnant with his child. This was after I moved in with the jerk. He would always tell me I was young and would just "come around" some day. I agree, RUN LIKE HELL. The situation does not get any better with time.

Catmommy, I respect your opinions due to what you have been through. I have been through stuff but our experiences differ so I like to read your posts. God, you got THAT one right how the men want "mini-hims" because it is all about THEIR egos. It is scary knowing that these so-called liberal people could have gone to court and received an injunction should you have gotten pregnant and wanted to abort.

Mercurior, I love the "hounds of hell" statement. That is right on! I just saw The Omen remake so I could laugh about the "hounds". So true...

GreenGrass, a man loves to say how "beautiful" a woman looks during her pignancy with his bay-bee. However, it does not stop him from looking at other women or even doing the deed with someone else. Married men are more than likely to have their first extramarital affair during the wife's pregnancy. Also...it is a time when a man will first hit his wife knowing that the woman has NOWHERE to go and is vulnerable. Motherhood is very oppressive to women.

Any woman that thinks of moving in with a man should give me a call. I'll send her one-way bus fare for as far away as she can reasonably go. Why in the hell would anyone want to marry into that kind of misery?

I agree with anyone else. He'll just waste precious years of your life.