1607 - Your attitude

I wouldn't want to play with a pet tarantula either. Doesn't mean I'm an asshole.

Guest, usually it is women who get hassled for not wanting to talk baby talk to the infants or bounce the toddlers on their knees. Gads...I feel for you. Keep on doing what you are doing by not catering the wife's wishes that you play "nice" with children. I am another person who is also very uncomfortable around small children. I was this way even when I was a little kid. You may also want to look into "protection" if you know what I mean...this woman could be plannin a major "oops"...

Trust me, the first time you drop a baby will be the last time you have to hold a baby.

i remember when stick bitch, tried to give her youngest brat to us, to hold.. we both moved backwards at the same time, and said noooooo.. so she had to take it with her ..

shudders at the thought of holding a brat

*********************************************************************************************************************************
I just post the stories, for interest.. for everyone

Lord, what fools these mortals be!
- A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act III, Scene ii

Voltaire said: "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."

H.L.Mencken wrote:"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.”

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein

Guest, I'm in a similar situation. My DH also thinks I'm a "baby hater" and will often get on my case if I say anything remotely CF-related.

Guest, This is a situation that a lot of us here have had to deal with. Some people just don't get it. I've always pretended that I'm just getting over a cold whenever someone tries to guilt me into holding a baby, or playing with a toadler. People will think you're avoiding their brats out of concern, instead of dislike.

CFScorpio, I am sorry to hear you have the same experience as Guest. What is it with these spouses? Your spouse should not give you a hard time especially since you are supportive about his daughter and the ex. This man got a good woman when he married you. You and Guest both made your intentions about remaining childfree and how you feel about kids before marrying your mates. That is the bad thing -- people often think the other will change after saying the wedding vows.

I am so sick of the misconception that CFers HATE children. And if you express your sprog-free opinions that you hate keedz and their parents. I find that most CFers are peace-loving folks who like their quiet time A LOT. I don't think I hate anybody, but I really don't like snotty-nosed brats, squaling loafs and spoiled teen-sprogs.

I would worry a lot more about those folks who go on and on about how much they LUUVVV the kiddies. Especially if they are cub scout masters, preachers, or children's entertainers (aka clowns).

Your post is EXACTLY what my life has been. (I can't stand being around them either) Stick to your guns!!! Wear your feelings like a badge!!!

Don't feel bad - my boyfriend has told me he finds my hatred of children to be disturbing. I'm sure there are people who would find his hatred of hip-hop and rap music to be disturbing, but that seems okay. I think my opinions are only disturbing to him because they conflict with his potential future plans of spawning... in which he ASSumes means I'll submit and be the broowsow.

I don't see how not wanting to hold or interact with a child is bad, but then again we live in a society where everyone is expected to coo and fawn over all children because they're so precious and adorable, even though they all look the fucking same. It's just irritating; if someone was visiting me who I knew did not like cats, I would not make that person play with, pet, or interact with my cats in any way, and I assume that most pet owners would not petstalk (is this even a word?). So why is it acceptable for people to shove their kids in your face? I guess manners also go out with the placenta.

india_darshan Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> CFScorpio, I am sorry to hear you have the same
> experience as Guest. What is it with these
> spouses? Your spouse should not give you a hard
> time especially since you are supportive about his
> daughter and the ex. This man got a good woman
> when he married you. You and Guest both made your
> intentions about remaining childfree and how you
> feel about kids before marrying your mates. That
> is the bad thing -- people often think the other
> will change after saying the wedding vows.

Thank you, India_darshan. DH understands my decision to be CF, and he has said he would have been CF too, if it hadn't been for that "accident" 15 years ago. He has come to a few No Kidding events as my guest, so he knows we don't all sit around talking about hating kids.

But still...he'll jump all over me if I say something that he interprets to be "kid-hating", even though there are occasions when he will make similar comments. It really bugs the fuck out of me.

We've been arguing lately about July 4. We're supposed to have a family party at our home for his mom (her B-day is July 4), but I told him I don't want his ill-behaved niece and nephew here. They were here on thanksgiving and ran around unsupervised, throwing various items over the baby gate and down the stairs. After they left, I was picking up lemons, coasters, and a pillow that they had hurled down there. I even found spilled juice on the floor from a hurled sippy cup.

DH gave me shit about not wanting them there, and he jumped on me when I made a joke about putting scat mats all over the house. Meanwhile, we found out from his mom that his aunt (who is an older woman with 2 grown kids) does not want to attend because the little kids stress her out. And she is/was a mom! I think the next time he gives me shit, I'm going to tell him to call his aunt and give her shit too.

Feh Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Trust me, the first time you drop a baby will be
> the last time you have to hold a baby.
>
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

My DH is just as irritated by little kids as I am, sometimes even more. We don't sit around and and discuss it on a continual basis, but if we are in a situation with an annoying kid we make comments to one another. I really don't care what anyone thinks about my feelings toward children. After teaching for 15 years, I think I my feelings are justified. I'm irritated by noise. Squealing and squaling brats, especially ones who are old enough to behave, really chap my ass. When a coworker, or relative has a baby or toadler around me I usually just try to ignore it. I think they get the vibe that I'm not that interested in their sprog.

Forgive me for insulting your wife, sir, but SHE is the asshole for trying to get you to do something she knows that you do not like and then labeling her failure to change your likes/dislikes as some kind of personality flaw on your part. The personality flaw is on her part for thinking that you MUST like children and MUST want to be around them. WRONG.

It sounds to be like you have a potential "oops" on your hands. I would sit down with her, remind her of your childfree status and what that really means.

This entire "play the game" bullshit is nothing more than a smokescreen to get you to like children. Don't be fooled by it.

Sorry for the plain speaking, but I call 'em as I see 'em.

I agree with Billy - I would seriously reconsider being married to this person. She definitely sounds like a wannabreeder.

I'm a woman, but if *I* was you, I'D BE GETTING A VESACTOMY!!!!!!
(for the woman: GO GET THAT TUBAL! OR ESSURE! SAVE YOURSELF!)

---

lab mom

waterlily is correct, get a vasectomy, you know she will oops you one day, she should respect your decision.

*********************************************************************************************************************************
I just post the stories, for interest.. for everyone

Lord, what fools these mortals be!
- A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act III, Scene ii

Voltaire said: "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."

H.L.Mencken wrote:"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.”

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein

CFScorpio, it is good that your husband was able to admit that he had wanted to be childfree had it not been for that "accident". When he jumps all over you for not being ga-ga over those babies, that is his resentment of being a father talking. I am not saying that he does not care for his daughter but it sounds as if the true feelings are coming out when he acts this way towards you. Was your DH tricked by his ex? If so, I would think he would be thrilled that you are so honest about your feelings on this issue. Yeah, family events can also cause discord. You can imagine the hassle with my ex-husband and the former in-laws. That alone can cause arguments in the home.

india_darshan Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> that is his resentment of being a father talking.
> I am not saying that he does not care for his
> daughter but it sounds as if the true feelings are
> coming out when he acts this way towards you.

I absolutley agree, india_darshan.

CF Scorpio, Maybe he is so ashamed of his true feelings about not wanting to have had a kid, especially since he cares for her, that he lashes out at you for reminding him of that conflict.