#1622 - Bingoed by physician

Mrs. Ogre, I don't blame you for not seeing that gyno any more. How insulting, to ASSume that just because you were getting married, that you were automatically going to sprog ASAP.

I mean, sheesh...even if a couple DOES want kids, isn't it better for them to have some *us* years before having kids?

Some of the best parents I know waited as long as TEN YEARS after marriage to have kids. These people wanted the *US* time, and they enjoyed it and each other. And when they did have kids, they decided to stop at one or two kids...that was all they felt they could live with and maintain their relationship. So far, it's all been working out for them all. Even though the couple who chose to just have one kid still gets bingoed about siblings for said kid. They pretty much ignore it all.

DOG, but this *marriage is only for breeding* shit just drives me NUTS! Glad you found a SANE doctor!

What an ass.

---

lab mom

This is why I don't even get check-up's anymore. They keep making me feel like crap, like "Why don't you have a mayun?!" Hmm, 'cause I can't even find one worth shagging, perhaps?

I'm with Medusa on this one. After the seventh gyno I saw refused to give me a tubal, I decided they weren't getting another dime out of me.

we dont have this kind of pushing the gyno in the UK. a lot of women here dont go, only if they have a problem.

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I just post the stories, for interest.. for everyone

Lord, what fools these mortals be!
- A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act III, Scene ii

Voltaire said: "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."

H.L.Mencken wrote:"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.”

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein

I was fortunate to have a good doctor who had no problem with tubals. Like he said, everyone needs to make their own choices in life. If a woman decided she wanted those babies at age 20, the ob-gyns would applaud her. Mrs. Ogre's experience with her gyno was insulting. When I married before, one of the guests at the wedding said, "Have LOTS of babies!" I was too stunned to respond and still young enough to be a little timid about speaking out.

This same woman once said that a couple should just "live together" if they are not going to have those babies. I found that very insulting. I am not keen on the "living together" thing and it is not about religion or 'morality'. That moo making such a statement basically says that she thinks a woman is not worth marrying if she refuses to breed.

I have seen too many women taken advantage of in these live-in situation that seem to be dead-end relationships. From what I have seen, most men don't tend not to respect a woman who will take him into her home without being married. The man views his live-in as a roommate who pays half of the rent, as an unpaid housekeeper/cook/laundry person, and - last-but-not-least - a body for sex on demand.

The awful thing is that most men in live-in set-ups still views himself as "single" since that is what he is by society standards. Yet, the WOMAN views herself as being in a committed relationship and will not even think of calling herself a single woman. I cannot stand marriage but I think the double-standards in these "common law" set-ups are even worse and more damaging to females.

How did I get off topic?

Mrs. Ogre, that previous gyn was still living in the Dark Ages. Good for you for taking your business elswhere & finding an understanding, evolved doc! Unfortunate that a female who's as educated as she is can still be so backwards.

I stopped seeing a doc a few years ago for a simillar reason. There I was, laying on the table during my exam. I asked NOTHING about having kids. Out of nowhere he said: 'Well, you're lucky, the way your uterus is positioned, the babies will slip right out easily." (Me- Huuuuhhh?)

It is unprofessional and assinine to assume a woman who is getting married will not require her oral contraceptive prescription. This physician acts like she is living in the 1950s. What's next? Suggesting you wear a crinoline and pearls and bring your husband his pipe and slippers ala June Cleaver?

DrDanCorelli Wrote:
This physician acts like she is living in the 1950s.

LOL. Or in the pre-industrial era when people married & had babies to be farmhands!

Wow, that doctor was way off base. Just because you're getting married doesn't mean you immediately want to get impregnated, and to ASSume so is really presumptuous and rude.

I also am a woman who does not get gyno checkups unless something is wrong. I always ended up waiting for at least an hour to be seen, it was traumatic to me to have to strip down and be poked and prodded at, and I only did it to get birth control scripts. I don't need to check my fertility, and unless I'm in severe pain or something's hanging out of me (sorry for the grossness), I think it's a waste of my time and money. I don't need more aggravation in my life, sitting on my ass in a waiting room for over an hour watching "priority preggos" go in ahead of me because they're more important "customers." Fuck that.

Iv67, I hope you kicked that asshole square in the face!

The most insulting thing one of these pseudo- docs said to me was "What does your husband think about your choice not to give him children?" I didn't even answer her. Just let my eyes glaze over into a cold stare. She was fairly young, too.

sprogless Wrote:
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> Iv67, I hope you kicked that asshole square in the
> face!

Hehehehe! I could've blamed it on my geneticly superior uterus protecting itself.
>
> "What does your husband think about your choice not to give him children?">

"He's ok with it. He'll get some from one of his other 9 wives".


>

I don't even bother with the gyno. My family physician (a CF woman) does my pap test each year, and orders my mammogram at our hospital. My DH has a vasectomy so I don't need to worry about BC. My last trip to the gyno was 7 years ago for a BC script. I had to wait forever for him because he was over at the hospital with a moo. I was fed up after that!

Thanks guys! I forgot to mention that I'm in Quebec, where health care is free. The problem, is you have all the trouble in the world finding a family physician. It's seems to be more rare than pope's shit... Anyway, I found another cool one and dumped the other one. I forgot to mention she's Haitian. Not that there's anything wrong with it, but it might explain her mentality.
To finish on a funny note, I was bingoed by the person I never thought would bingo me: a male stripper at my bachelorette! He was Haitian and while spinning it like a helicopter under my nose, he said "I wish you have lots of children"! I just said I didn't want any. He was offended like a prude... Hmmm Hello who's dancing bare ass for a living?

First, that Dr. is an asshat.

Second, I agree about the gyno. It is very traumatising to me, as well. First time I ever went, I had to be drunk. Thenext times, I had to take some xnanx. I hate that you have to be poked and prodded to BC scrips. I wish they'd just give you the shot, patch, or pills. One time I went to a doc for a regular check up, and he barely looked at me, and started going on about 'well woman' crap. Whilst the man I went with, he did the usual stuff, throat, reflexes. Um, hello, I'm NOT just a damned walking vagina. Made me so angry. I hate having all of this stupid 'plumbing' anyway. It's unneeded.

Medicine is a very conservative career. I notice how most doctors and nurses tend to be right-wing people. I do know there are more liberal MDs as there are doctors who do abortions and have no problem with tubal ligations or women who refuse to breed. I had this one nurse practitioner at my old ob-gyn's, who was a cool doc and did my tubal, who acted so stunned that I would have a tubal ligation and asked why...duh! Any idiot knows what a person gets sterilized. The NP was a single moo with an 18/month-old and she admitted that raising a bay-beigh on her own due to a jack*ss ex-boyfriend was really the pits. Envy...I bet that is what she felt when she looked at my chart.

Denise Wrote:
One time I went to
> a doc for a regular check up, and he barely looked
> at me, and started going on about 'well woman'
> crap. Whilst the man I went with, he did the
> usual stuff, throat, reflexes. Um, hello, I'm NOT
> just a damned walking vagina. Made me so angry.
> I hate having all of this stupid 'plumbing'
> anyway. It's unneeded.

That's been my experience as well, Denise. Once, I got so pissed off at this one dumb doc. I told her I had no interest whatsoever in folic acid supplements, because I wasn't having babies- period. This was one of my 7 tubal consultations. She kept pushing on about how I'd never have a healthy baby unless I started preparing for it RIGHT NOW!!! I was there to discuss a tubal- NOT a pre- pregnancy visit. Of course, she refused to do a tubal on me, because it was her policy to only do a tubal on women who have babies already.

Sprogless, keep looking for an ob-gyn who is "tubal friendly". They are out there but it takes a little digging to tind them. Most ob-gyns as well as most docs in other specialties only view women as nothing more than breeding machines. A urologist will usually have no problem with giving a vasectomy to a non-childed man. However, we all know how women have to fight for everything they want when it comes to not being forced to breed.

sprogless Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Iv67, I hope you kicked that asshole square in the
> face!
>
> The most insulting thing one of these pseudo- docs
> said to me was "What does your husband think about
> your choice not to give him children?" I didn't
> even answer her. Just let my eyes glaze over into
> a cold stare. She was fairly young, too.
>
>

When idiots ask me this question, I do indeed remind them that I - as a woman - am actually a human being with my own free will despite the old adage of a wife/woman being nothing more than chattel (sp?). I make it very clear that NO man runs my life and that I pity any woman who still feels she must defer to the Almighty Male Ego.

sprogless Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> she refused to do a tubal on me, because it was her policy to only
> do a tubal on women who have babies already.

What the hell is it with all these female docs refusing tubals? Gawd, that so pisses me off. They should be the ones all for a woman's choice. I wish I could tell one of them that it wasn't so long ago that a woman couldn't even vote let alone get into med school & practice medicine. They should be the 1st ones in line to give a woman a chance to live her life the way she wants Ughhhhhh!!!


>
>

india_darshan Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Medicine is a very conservative career. I notice
> how most doctors and nurses tend to be right-wing
> people.

That's what I was afraid of last week, when me & DH went to an eval for him to get a vasectomy. I was sitting in the waiting room & so nervous (even more than DH) that the doc would drill us- even though we've been married 10 yrs & I'm 37 & he's 40. I couldn't believe I was so worked up.

The doc looked totally conservative; silver hair, mid 50's, dark rimmed glasses. I thought "here we go". But I was shocked how open he was. He was mostly concerned that this was a well thought out descision between both of us and not one dragging the other in. We both explained a little & he could see we were serious & that's all the convincing he needed.

He explained that the reason for his questioning is that he's had several couples return to him with the wife wanting it reversed saying she was "talked into it by her husband". He said reversing it is more invasive, expensive and not always successful or reliable.

Then he described how the plumbing works & what he'll do- and when DH asked if this will lessen his functioning, the doc said not at all- in most men it seems to help, since they're not worried about an oops anymore.

I was so relieved after that visit! Of all people, we WEREN'T bingoed by the conservative-looking vasectomy doc! DH didn't care about bingoing on the way home- he was just looking pale 'cause doc told him he'd have to shave!

There are as many liberals as there are conservatives in the health professions. It may be a "conservative" profession from the standpoint of requiring a certain standard of proof in research prior to using a novel idea in clinical practice, but politically and economically we span the same continuum as the rest of society.

That's good to know DrDan.

You know- I seem to have good luck w/ gyne visits. Other than the the one bad visit I had that I posted earlier, (and HE was a general practitioner) all the actual gynes I've seen have been great & open minded w/ no bingoes, ASSumptions, offhand comments, etc. And they've all been male-I have never seen a female gyne.

I don't think I ever would see a female unless I had to, since with a male, I can be more objective and feel less judged. Just a thing with me, I guess.

we need a list of good doctors who will agree, with our own personal beleifs, rather that the worship of moohood like so may do

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I just post the stories, for interest.. for everyone

Lord, what fools these mortals be!
- A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act III, Scene ii

Voltaire said: "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."

H.L.Mencken wrote:"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.”

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein

Hey Sprogless! Know what you mean! The last time I went to the primary care NP for the annual exam to get oral contraceptives, you would not BELIEVE what you go through to get an oral contraceptive that's not on the TRI-CARE formulary (I'm an active duty servicewoman), attempting to get a script for Plan B (I was refused and told that if I needed it to go to the ER and ask for it--YEAH, RIGHT!), and also DENIED a baseline mammo at age 34 since my friend just fought a very aggressive form of breast cancer at age 36 (no family history of cancer, by the way) I'm seriously considering getting fixed, but am not sure if I'll be able to in the TRI-CARE system, since I do not have kids already (and do not want them). Has anyone out there been able to get a tubal ligation through TRI-CARE and if so, how'd you do it?