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FERTILITY LOANS?!!!! WTF?!!

Posted by VLM 
VLM
FERTILITY LOANS?!!!! WTF?!!
July 08, 2006
WHAT THE FRIKKITY-FRAK?!!! ">This morning, I was on the Capital One website checking on my CC account, when I saw on the front page that they offer healthcare loans for dental, cosmetic and vision procedures. Now, this does not seem like such a bad idea, but when I saw FERTILITY among the list of healthcare loans they provide, I did a double take and had to click on it. Check this action out:

We understand that fertility treatment can be stressful. We can help.

With Capital One® Healthcare Finances, we offer loans from $1,500 to $25,000, giving you a flexible range of funds to help pay for fertility treatment options like Clomid, PCOS treatment, IVF, IUI, ICSI, surgery, tubal ligation reversals, and donor eggs.


">Good grief!!! It's gotten goofy, y'all, and all this will do is make baby-rabid women go over the edge!!!
Anonymous User
Re: FERTILITY LOANS?!!!! WTF?!!
July 08, 2006
Yeah, what happens if Moo and Duh default on the fertility loan? Does Capital One reposess the child?

Their new slogan should be: "What's In Your Womb?"
Sherz
Re: FERTILITY LOANS?!!!! WTF?!!
July 08, 2006
Good one, gleepy!
Anonymous User
Re: FERTILITY LOANS?!!!! WTF?!!
July 08, 2006
It comes from reading Mad when growing up, and these days The Wittenburg Door.

DW suggests reposessed children could be sold as discounted adoptable children: "23 easy payments of $19.95 per month!"
Re: FERTILITY LOANS?!!!! WTF?!!
July 08, 2006
Thanks for putting such a hilarious spin on this!

Because, otherwise, it's outrageous. Some decent people have trouble getting a loan for a house, but all this breeder crap is "fine".
gleepy Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Yeah, what happens if Moo and Duh default on the
> fertility loan? Does Capital One reposess the
> child?
>
> Their new slogan should be: "What's In Your Womb?"
>
> --
> Curtis R. Anderson, Co-creator of "Gleepy the
> Hen", still
> "In Heaven there is no beer / That's why we drink
> it here ..."
> ICQ: 50137888
> mailto:gleepy@&#
> 103;leepy.ne
> ;t (and others) Yahoo!: gleepythehen


ROTFLMBBO!!!!!!!!!
CFScorpio
Re: FERTILITY LOANS?!!!! WTF?!!
July 08, 2006
If Moo and Duh can't afford to pay for fertility treatments, how are they going to pay for the child's expenses once it's born?

Oh, I forgot...they can go on welfare and we can pay for it with our texes.
More outrageousness! I found a website out there that has an IVF/VACATION PACKAGE DEAL.

http://www.myivfalternative.com/index.php?stranka=treatment-cost

This is some goofy shit!!! hitting over the head with a hammer
EasilyAmused
Re: FERTILITY LOANS?!!!! WTF?!!
July 08, 2006
gleepy Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Yeah, what happens if Moo and Duh default on the
> fertility loan? Does Capital One reposess the
> child?
>
> Their new slogan should be: "What's In Your Womb?"


grinning smiley
sprogless
Re: FERTILITY LOANS?!!!! WTF?!!
July 08, 2006
I try to keep an open mind- to each their own and all that crap, but this is too much!

When the wannabreeders can't even concieve WITH fertility treatments, are they still going to pay back the loan, or will Capitol One just jack up their interest rates to cover the defaults? Who's really going to pay for this nutso bullshit? And for Christs' sake, it's a scientific fact that designer babies have more health problems than the ones concieved naturally do. Who's going to pay for that? Oh, yeah... We are.

Selfish breeders. Always looking for the best other peoples' money can buy.
Sherz
Re: FERTILITY LOANS?!!!! WTF?!!
July 08, 2006
I HONESTLY believe that infertility is natural population control. If you can't make a loaf on your own (with your partner!) you're not supposed to have one!

I worked with a very nice woman who would actually be a PNB if she could have children. She doesn't believe in fertility treatments. She is very religious and feels that God wants her to use her love of children to help them in other ways. She's a teacher and very active in a mentor program that helps troubled children. So many people who pay for doctors to make their babies shouldn't be parents in the first place!
BillyC
Re: FERTILITY LOANS?!!!! WTF?!!
July 08, 2006
More importantly, if the brat is ugly or untalented, can you return it to get your money back?
Re: FERTILITY LOANS?!!!! WTF?!!
July 08, 2006
Sherz Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I HONESTLY believe that infertility is natural
> population control. If you can't make a loaf on
> your own (with your partner!) you're not supposed
> to have one!
>
> I worked with a very nice woman who would actually
> be a PNB if she could have children. She doesn't
> believe in fertility treatments. She is very
> religious and feels that God wants her to use her
> love of children to help them in other ways.
> She's a teacher and very active in a mentor
> program that helps troubled children. So many
> people who pay for doctors to make their babies
> shouldn't be parents in the first place!

I agree.

Sherz Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
>I HONESTLY believe that infertility is natural
> population control. If you can't make a loaf on
> your own (with your partner!) you're not supposed
> to have one!

>
> I worked with a very nice woman who would actually
> be a PNB if she could have children. She doesn't
> believe in fertility treatments. She is very
> religious and feels that God wants her to use her
> love of children to help them in other ways.
> She's a teacher and very active in a mentor
> program that helps troubled children. So many
> people who pay for doctors to make their babies
> shouldn't be parents in the first place!

I totally agree with this, too, but some folks just feel compelled somehow to go out of their way to "keep on tryin'," even though it may not work at all...ever! Um, hello, maybe God is trying to tell them something right now!!! LOL

Anonymous User
Re: FERTILITY LOANS?!!!! WTF?!!
July 09, 2006
Nonsense! God's just testing them to see how much faith they have. If you care & believe enough to keep trying, when you finally have the right amount of faith you'll be blessed with multiple slightly abnormal miracles!
Stephanie Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Nonsense! God's just testing them to see how much
> faith they have. If you care & believe enough to
> keep trying, when you finally have the right
> amount of faith you'll be blessed with multiple
> slightly abnormal miracles!


*snort!* grinning smiley
Sherz
Re: FERTILITY LOANS?!!!! WTF?!!
July 09, 2006
Faith! Ah Ha! That's why there are so damn many kids in my neighborhood. Their parunts must be praying all the time!
Re: FERTILITY LOANS?!!!! WTF?!!
July 09, 2006
Sherz Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Faith! Ah Ha! That's why there are so damn many
> kids in my neighborhood. Their parunts must be
> praying all the time!

Yeah, mine too! While I was trying to work on my computer today, I had to put up with a brat b-day party in the backyard next door - and now I have a horrible headache. Nothing but screeching little bastards, chyld music (like "KydzBop" or whatever), lots of screaming and those damn things - I'm not sure what they're called in English, but you blow into them and they make a tooting sound? Anyway. Thankfully, it ended like those things always end: some toadler threw a fit and spoiled it for everyone. And it was about time, 'cause I was just about to slash my wrists.

I sincerely do NOT understand breeders. Who the hell willingly wants to deal with this crap?
Re: FERTILITY LOANS?!!!! WTF?!!
July 10, 2006
well they do call it missionary position ... kazoo's or blow ticklers..

*********************************************************************************************************************************
I just post the stories, for interest.. for everyone

Lord, what fools these mortals be!
- A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act III, Scene ii

Voltaire said: "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."

H.L.Mencken wrote:"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.”

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein
Re: FERTILITY LOANS?!!!! WTF?!!
July 10, 2006
My ex-husband managed a loan company and from the sounds of this fertility loan shit and from what I experienced through him with how and why people default on loans, Capital One can expect to take it RIGHT up the ass. I doubt even one of these people will ever satisfy the loans in full.

#1 After the loaf is finally born, it will no doubt be ridden with disabilities, thus, the pahrunts won't be able to afford to pay back the loan.

#2 Pahrunts never have the golden sprogg. Feeling bitter and left out, they'll tell Capital One to go scratch cuz their money was useless to them.

#3 Breeders will default and claim bankruptcy, after all, they are entitled to that BAYBEE and shouldn't have to pay that money back now, right?

And I can see it now. The entitled wanna-breeders will put the house up as security or their car. Loaf comes, they default, and there's probably not a judge in the land that will take a house away from a new famblee.

Guess who pays for all of this? The people who never default on a loan, that's who.
Re: FERTILITY LOANS?!!!! WTF?!!
July 10, 2006
but if they own their own home capital one then owns it and can resell it for a profit wink...

*********************************************************************************************************************************
I just post the stories, for interest.. for everyone

Lord, what fools these mortals be!
- A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act III, Scene ii

Voltaire said: "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."

H.L.Mencken wrote:"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.”

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein
Anonymous User
Re: FERTILITY LOANS?!!!! WTF?!!
July 10, 2006
Hell let em go into debt and hopefully NOT get preggo at the same time.
Serves em right for being so egotistical that their DNA is so damn special that they refuse to adopt some of the MANY kids out there who need a home.
Re: FERTILITY LOANS?!!!! WTF?!!
July 10, 2006
No, they will take out the loan, have loaf, not be able to pay back, file bankruptcy, ruin their credit, and then not be able to pull for another loan for ANYTHING.



lab mom
Anonymous User
Re: FERTILITY LOANS?!!!! WTF?!!
July 10, 2006
BillyC wrote:

> More importantly, if the brat is ugly or untalented, can you return it to
> get your money back?

Well, what is the blue book rate on a previously owned brat these days?
Re: FERTILITY LOANS?!!!! WTF?!!
July 10, 2006
And that's the magical world of credit in America. You can get a loan for any sort of bullshit (vacations for chrissakes) and ruin your credit so you can't get a loan for anything real. YAY! I have the right to spend money I don't have on crap I don't need.
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