Bingoed at BBQ

Hi,
Yesterday, I was invited to a BBQ with DH to the house of a couple (A) that was at our wedding. There was also another couple ( we hadn’t seen since our wedding. We didn’t know that the woman A was not only pregnant, but pregnant up to her eyes! We knew couple B had a toddler. They brought her and she was a pleasant kid. Didn't cry, didn't break anything, altough she could have, since it was a glamorous designer house. We learned that couple B was expecting their second child. We felt a little bit out of place, but all in all, we had a nice evening. Then came the bingo! I was kind of expecting it… Woman B was very cool and said if we didn’t want to have kids, people had to respect our wish and she moved on to another topic. I was amazed. Man B said his daughter was the best thing he ever did in his life. Is that some way of telling us anything we do is not worth it if we don’t have kids? Or that nothing is worth doing besides having kids? They left relatively late. The kid said she was tired at 10 PM, but she said it nicely and let her parents enjoy a night out. She even enjoyed the company of adults. Then came the second round of bingo with the host couple A. The man asked us if we were planning to have kids, that we should not wait, blah blah blah, the usual stuff. He had an utter look of surprize when we said we were not interested in having kids. It's like it was not conceivable that someone would not want to go through all the problems and miseries like them. Woman A said she could not imagine her life without kids and while she seemed to understand my point of view, she kept hinting over and over again that I might change my mind when I’m ready. You see, this couple has a designer house with very expensive Italian silk drapes and magazine furniture. I can't wait to see them handle the little crotch dropping in their dream decor! I wanted to tell her that at least “I” can change my mind. Like I read here, misery likes company. No thanks. I have other things to do besides popping them out.

its always you will change your mind, what if you change your mind,.. you cant change your mind with a toddler, unless u dump him/her/it.

it should be up to us, our own justification, our own self knowledge, what gives them the right to say we are wrong, they should be reminded of what it was like before the lack of sleep, the other bad problems that occur during birth and after, the tearing, and so on..

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I just post the stories, for interest.. for everyone

Lord, what fools these mortals be!
- A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act III, Scene ii

Voltaire said: "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."

H.L.Mencken wrote:"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.”

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein

I was at my AA meeting yesterday. Another CF woman was sitting next to me. A grandmother was on the other side and I like her as a person. However, I could see that the other childfree-by-choice woman was annoyed when Grandma went on how one of her daughters and son-in-law were of the generation of being "too selfish to have children". I could not believe she said such a thing!

Lucky for this lady, we practice the 12th Tradition at the meetings of placing principles before personalities.

I, for one, am tired of being viewed as nasty or selfish human being for refusing to breed. For one thing, I find the childed extremely selfish. It is not as if breeders care about ALL children. It is *always* about THEIR offspring. Everyone is to cater to them! Work schedules are to be changed or they are to be given primo days off for having that family.

I have Sundays off. Everyone knows to NOT bug me on that day 'cause I will NOT work for anyone! If I do someone a favour once, it will become expected for me to work on that day. A breederella may complain but life is a "beach" and then we die. Oh well...

The childfree-by-choice are going to be bingo'd all of the time. Mrs. Ogre, do keep up posted as to how the designer house will become once that baybee is born and how Mr. Designer will have a honey on the side 'cause he can well afford a discreet affair...

I went to DH's cousins' b-day party (ages 4 and 1) where we knew that many people would bring kids and there may be a chance of being bingoed. I am too tired of the damn bingo bull shit. I was having an interesting conversation with DH's uncle and another lady about travelling. The lady asked me if I had children and I said no and asked when we were going to have them I said we are not and she said "ever" and I stressed "EVER." DH's uncle who is going on kid #4 (good grief) said "Really?" I said we are not interested at all and that I have no maternal instinct. The lady commented that she cleans house and one of clients have no kids and travels everywhere. I am tired of people looking at us as "abnormals" because we don't give a shit about having a brat. My damn FIL is anoother annoying jerk who often makes commenst about DH and I not wanting kids. At the damn party he asked "Are you sure you don't want them?" and I said "yes" and he insists taht when I'm in my 40s I will regret it! WHATEVER! DH just tells me to ignore him. FUCK EVERYBODY!!

Guest...tell that jerk of a FIL at your party that I am 42, snipped, and never had any regrets. Families of spouses always think that they are entitled to turn the wife into the family moo to breed more people with their last names. In fact, I thank the deities-of-my-understanding on a daily basis that I had access to abortion when an accidental pregnancy happened in '94 when I was on what was to be very reliable birth control. And...I offer my daily thanks for being childfree. Man, people like those jerks at the party really tick me off.

I don't get as many baby bingos because I'm not married and I look younger than my 34 years. At work and social events, I avoid discussions about my personal life. If I'm talking to a group of people and the topic of children comes up, I excuse myself. Bingoing is all about misery loving company. The same people who blab on about how having kids was the best decision they ever made also complain about their kids constantly: the behaviour problems, how expensive child psychiatrists are, how the schools are so bad because their children are getting bad grades, etc. They may love their kids, but they clearly do not love parenting. I think most of them never stopped to think that they could have chosen to remain childfree. It's just now dawning on them that they made a bad choice, but there is no turning back.

Very much like Grace, I am 33, look younger, and am not married. I don't talk about my personal life at work and avoid sprog-talk.

india_darshan Wrote:
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> I, for one, am tired of being viewed as nasty or
> selfish human being for refusing to breed. For one
> thing, I find the childed extremely selfish.

Count me in on that one! I'm also SO sick & tired of my famblee & extended famblee viewing me as somehow unfinished or incomplete-or like me & DH are still living our college years. I dpI feel this subtle lack of respect and it hurts.

You forgot to mention how i handle those questions.

when i get asked those kind and considerate questions, I will usaully spout off to them with "when you decide to stop annoying me with that question, I might take a look" then i might throw in a sarcastic remark in there too...mostly under my breath. By god do you think they will stop asking...NOOOOOOO so i do not have to worry about looking into it. :-)

I have a really hard time understanding why other people think someone else's babymaking is their business. There are so many other interesting things to talk about. Oh wait, I know, these people are spending their days cleaning up puke and wiping shitty asses. They're so immersed in their own baby misery they just want to know when to expect some company.

Usually if friends or family bingo me, I don't let them know that I'm on the birth control pill. I go ahead and let them waste their breath.

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lab mom

lv67 Wrote:
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> india_darshan Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > I, for one, am tired of being viewed as nasty
> or
> > selfish human being for refusing to breed.
> For one
> > thing, I find the childed extremely selfish.
>
>
> Count me in on that one! I'm also SO sick & tired
> of my famblee & extended famblee viewing me as
> somehow unfinished or incomplete-or like me & DH
> are still living our college years. I dpI feel
> this subtle lack of respect and it hurts.

Dito to both.

DH was having a drink with a male friend the other night and he said he had to get home to "make a baby". DH said "Ewww...TMI, dude!" I can't believe that people feel comfortable letting everyone know that they're wife/gf is in heat. I've even heard casual aquaintences say "I'm ovulating". I don't give a shit! I don't wan't to know about any of their bodily functions. I change the subject or say see ya. I think it's just another form of bingoing and this guy knows we have no desire to sprog.

Bloody hell - how effing rude and gross! Does this jerkass also tell people when he has to poop, and how long it takes, and what colour it is?!?

I am SO SICK of hearing all this personal stuff from complete strangers! I do NOT want to know what is going on in your panties or briefs, OK? And get a fucking life that does not revolve around your vagina or dick, too!

This reminds me of those repugnancy test ads they seem to be constantly running every night on TV right now. They make me want to puke! One talks about "knowing the right amount of urine on the stick" - ewwwww! And the other one tells you that you'll get the test result even if you're "barely pregnant". Like, yeah - the guy you picked up hasn't even zipped up his jeans yet and you're already running into the loo with your little pee stick, aren't you, you stupid breeder skank?!!

Good lord. "Barely pregnant" is a pretty huge oxymoron...for MORONS. Kind of like being "placenta brained breeder", you either are, or you aren't.

Yeah they need to show the true users of those damn sticks: someone who got real drunk one night and if she is repuganant, junior has a date with a vacuum....LOL :beer

Either you had unprotected sex OR YA DIDN'T. duh.

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lab mom

Medusa Wrote:
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> I do NOT want to know what is going on in your panties or briefs, OK?
>
-Or in my extended family member's briefs!

I was sitting with my mom at my aunt's house talking when out of the blue I got an earful about my cousin's male genital issues and this was why he & DW have no kids "yet".

WHEWWWW!...thanks, now I can stop holding my breath and staying up nights!