etiquette question

so, I know for sure I will be unable to provide the same level of gift giving this year as I have in years past. Basically my present will be a total of 20 hours of driving to get my smiling face to the gatherings of both sides of my family, and my boyfriends family. It's either that or I stay home and they get moderately crappy presents mailed to them. Anyway, I've already told my parents I can't afford anything, and am wondering what I should say to the folks I usually exchange gifts with to let them know that I won't be able to reciprocate this year. Should I send a letter? Email? Then what do I say? Any suggestions?

Bleah. I have no holiday spirit this year.

i would send them a xmas card, saying budget is a little tight this year, but i am thinking of you and hope you get everything you wish for.

make it a personal thing, something they will say at least they sent a nice card to me. and it showed they took the time to write, email may seem easier, but its impersonal

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I just post the stories, for interest.. for everyone

Lord, what fools these mortals be!
- A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act III, Scene ii

Voltaire said: "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."

H.L.Mencken wrote:"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.”

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein

Ditto for Mercurior's response! I do not like how the Winter Holidays have become an excuse for expectations of gift giving. Even buying presents for a small number of people, it can get expensive especially when the postage is an issue. I think being honest is the best way to go at this point. Anyone who does not understand the financial issue is someone not worth knowing.

"FUCK WORK"

Thanks! I was more worried about what I'd say...and I acutally might not have to be totally empty handed. I've got a lot of freaking pictures and a bunch of frames too...plus great recipes that makes assloads of peanutbutter buckeyes and sugar-based exfloliating scrubs. I'll let people know that due to my tight budget, they will be able to enjoy my arts and crafts side this year.

Sometimes, when you stop freaking out, and take a moment to think...well, the ideas just flow.

Also, I think I'm done with that huge converstaion on how much control one has over their lives...bleah.

i only have 4 people i have toi buy gifts for, xmas is never a good time because its near my dads birthday, and i get upset slightly. but a small hand written or hand made card, says more things about a preson,

and thats great making things for them. it shows you really care. you could spend hundreds on people and its gone in an instant. i dont give much, i have everything i need, apart from more socks.. you can never have too many socks..(yes i was a strange child i always wants socks more than toys etc.. and even now)

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I just post the stories, for interest.. for everyone

Lord, what fools these mortals be!
- A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act III, Scene ii

Voltaire said: "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."

H.L.Mencken wrote:"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.”

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein

I want socks for Christmas...I'm always losing them. I esp. need black and brown so I have socks to wear to work.

I mean, it doesn't help that my room is a horrid mess, I admit it. But, the other day I bought some new black socks, a pack of three. The next morning I hastily pulled a pair out of the pack to wear to work...and then forgot about the pack. A few days later I thought "hrm, wonder what happened to my new socks...seems I just grabbed one pair and left the rest...somewhere...on my bed maybe, and I haven't seen them since, and I certainly don't remember removing the other two pairs from my bed and putting them anywhere they might not get lost..."

Yep, I'm that bad about losing them, lol. I hope I find them, socks are ridiculously expensive, esp. in colors other than white (why can I buy a mondo package of white socks but never black or brown? I was lucky to find them in a pack as large as 3 pairs, usually you get them one or two pairs at a time for like six bucks).

here you can get 3 pairs for $4. or if you go into a sports store they may have 5 pairs for the same amount.

i am glad its not just me that socks vanish, its the sock monster eating them up.

i also have a bag of 30 odd socks, just one in a pair.. i keep them just incase i find the others..

*********************************************************************************************************************************
I just post the stories, for interest.. for everyone

Lord, what fools these mortals be!
- A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act III, Scene ii

Voltaire said: "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."

H.L.Mencken wrote:"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.”

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein

I got my three pairs for $5 or $6, which I found pretty impressive. I can't buy dark socks at sports stores though because they need to be at least somewhat dressy. Technically our dress code at work says women can't even wear socks--we're supposed to wear "trouser socks" with pants (which aren't much more than nylons; they're thin and not very comfortable, IMO). Yeah, right. I'm assuming they're not going to be inspecting my ankles and firing me because I'm wearing real socks, and my socks would be of acceptable style if I were male, so if they have a problem with it, they can lump it--there's no reason women can't wear normal socks like men can, it's a ridiculous rule (this is also the same company that won't allow tights. So apparently I could wear black nylons, but not black tights. I don't know what the difference is except for the amount of opacity. Stupid).

I am another one who is happy with socks. I do not like getting X-mas gifts but will mention I could use black socks when pressed...or pajamas and a robe if reasonably priced. Like the lady above, dress code at work also requires black socks with the security uniforms. We know how washing machines have the "sock monster" that eats these things.

"FUCK WORK"

ah the washing machine is a time machine and it sends all the socks back in time till it turns into a large ball, thats the meteor that killed the dinos.. all our lost socks..

at least thats my theory

*********************************************************************************************************************************
I just post the stories, for interest.. for everyone

Lord, what fools these mortals be!
- A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act III, Scene ii

Voltaire said: "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."

H.L.Mencken wrote:"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.”

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein

I posted this one on the other forum about the kids getting the gift cards. I felt this could also reflect what many of us go through each year at this time...

This is what I hate about this holiday: All of the gifts must equal out. I have a young friend who works at the pagan shop I frequent. She just moved in her boyfriend that she barely knew after, supposedly, the young man got put out of his family home for dating a "witch". So, the young gal and her roommate drove to L**eland to "rescue" him.

Long story short is that this guy said he had a great job in his hometown and gave it up to be with the young lady. He has had service jobs and did not last throughout a similar job he claimed to have "back home". I gave the number to the call center where I do security since that place is always hiring specialists. That was declined due to "transportation" issues.

My young friend has spent about $400 on this young man for Christmas. Her roomie has shelled out about $150. Now, the friend is angry at her mate for only wanting to buy a $40 pagan ritual item for the roommate. After all, so much has been spent on Little Lord F*ckpants already. These two women chose to buy all of these d@mn presents despite them paying most of the rent and bills!

I tried to be gentle with my friend but she does not get it. I mentioned that working at a gas station is not bringing in a lot of money. Living expenses must be paid first. Gift giving cannot be based on the giver expecting more due to what was spent for the recipient. I just stopped that conversation really quick when I saw it going nowhere!


A little P.S. here: I really do believe my young friend has been "hosed" by this guy. Funny how he could make big $$$ in the other town in Florida which has nothing compared to the Orlando area. Yet, going six miles to the call center where I work is now a big deal! I believe Christmas presents will be the tip of the iceberg on this one...

"FUCK WORK"

I agree with Mercurior. A card with a nice note explaining the situation is good. Or even a token gift of something small.

Do you bake at all? Maybe you could make some homemade cookies and ship them, although you'd have to pay for the postage.

Another thing you could do is type up a "coupon" for something you could do for them, like 1 hour of cleaning, errands, babysitting or a homecooked meal. But if you live far away, that could be difficult.

I love wacky socks! I always do my sock shopping after halloween, which is when the best socks come out.

Anyway, yes, this year my family members will be getting all sorts of homade goodies and decorations.

My brother went through this same delimma when he was single and in the military.
He made each person in the family (5 of us total at the time)something out of stained glass because he had the materials on hand and wrote each of us a personal letter telling us how much we mean to him individually.Everyone cried because it was so sweet,and read each other's letters.It was one of the most memorable Christmases of my life.
Another time,my nephew had the same problem.He gave each of us a fresh red rose and told us how much he loved us.
Go for the inexpensive and sentimental when you are tight on cash and the thought of the gift will last a long time.
Even the most expensive and well thought out gifts sometimes end up being taken back to the store or exchanged for something else or re-gifted sometimes.

I have to have my striped socks...it's Andy and my thing ^^ He loves to see me in them and sometimes wear them himself...I get the cheapos from Hot Topic so if the sock monster or time machine gets them then I can easily replace them!

Joshie, my very pretty gay friend, had made us all these little faux-fur-covered compasses for Christmas...

...He said they were our own Gaydars. I died laughing. X3 Andy always just brings me a rose and maybe some candy on Christmas and I'm happy with that, even if he throws in something extra...

Well...the update on my young friend, who works at the pagan shop, got PREGNANT by the young fucker she is living with...and D*r*k is still not working or working maybe two or three days before quitting. I am sure this Shitmas will be more of the same old bullshit...