About Britain

A lot of it is true what she says.

The Russian mum who says British women are ghastly with their fake tans, fake breasts and peroxide hair
By OLGA FREER - More by this author »

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/femail/article.html?in_article_id=560171&in_page_id=1879

Women leaving the price stickers on their shoes, drunken hooligans roaming the streets at night - these are things that you and I witness on a day-to-day basis in Britain.

Yet when I wrote about these things in my guidebook, The UK For Beginners, which was published in Russia recently, there was uproar. I can't understand it.


Yes, some of the comments were a little harsh, but they are balanced by many positive observations. However, judging by the reaction of British people, the humour in my little book seems to have been lost in translation.


I must admit, when I sought a publisher for the tongue-in-cheek e-mails I'd sent home about my adopted country, I really didn't know what I'd started.


Put yourself in my shoes. There I was six years ago, an 18-year-old girl from Moscow seeing London for the first time.


I had worshipped Britain and wanted to live here since the age of 13.


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The first thing that struck me was the way women dress at night. Even in the winter they brave the cold in little more that a mini-skirt and bra!


I was brought up to believe that women should dress respectably - there is no mystery or sex appeal if everyone can see just about everything, anyway.


Fake tan, fake breasts and peroxide hair is not my idea of beauty. Yet, it seems, the average British young woman, regardless of her size, is brainwashed into dyeing herself orange and wearing skinny jeans, leggings or mini-skirts.


They then spend 30 minutes squeezing themselves into them, only for them to burst open the minute they are too drunk to keep sucking in their stomach!


You would never see this in Moscow. We Russians, I know, have a reputation for drinking, but we do not binge-drink ourselves into oblivion the way the British do and, on average, actually consume less alcohol.


So, yes, for me it was a shock to find this terrible culture where girls disgrace themselves, throw up down alleyways, pass out in clubs and even get into cat fights.


And the men as well, yelling football chants like hooligans and becoming really aggressive after six pints of lager. Whatever happened to the British gentleman? Are they all in hiding behind newspapers under the fluorescent lights of the Tube trains, oblivious to the fact that there are women around patiently waiting to be offered a seat?


So much is odd here. For example, why do the likes of Jamie Oliver sweat over healthy food options, when on average, the young generation would still rather eat fast food?


And the dumbed-down syllabus they teach at school! I have a right to be worried - my child is going to have to go to those schools and study that syllabus.


I've been criticised for calling Brits lazy because everyone eats fast food or prepackaged meals. Of course, I know how much simpler it is for a hard-working mum to pop a ready meal in the oven.


But it's just not as funny as comparing your fast-food culture to the way a Russian mum buys all the ingredients herself and cooks for her family.


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Drastic difference: Russian Olga Freer (left) claims British women aspire to have peroxide hair and fake breasts like Chantelle Houghton (right)



And I admit it is hard for a government to establish laws that mean only people who really deserve the dole, because they cannot work, get it. But so many people here live comfortably off other people's taxes. In Russia, they would work or starve.


In Britain, you spend hours after work drinking beer in the pub, while Russians frequent theatres and opera houses (it would be hard to find the smallest town in the vastness of Russia that does not have its very own opera house).


Then, when you're finished, you take the Tube home. Why, when there are taxis out there and you can get home gracefully? You seem to be able to buy lots of clothes, so why can't you afford a taxi?


And why does everyone read those celebrity gossip magazines - who was fighting with who, who's taken an overdose, who ended up in rehab? Are people here living their own lives, or the lives of others?


Of course, I'm not saying Russia is perfect. It patently isn't. All countries have their own problems and, of course, all the many nice things I say about Britain in the book aren't reported.


I have had some wonderful experiences here and have met some wonderful people. It's just that as a newcomer to London, when everything was new and fresh to me, I had a keen eye for the things surrounding me.


All newcomers are told to watch out for the famous British sense of humour, but after the book's publication, it seems British humour lacks one significant thing - an ability to laugh at yourselves.

After all, my book is obviously tongue-in-cheek. If I truly hated Britain, why would I still be living here?

I feel safe in London, even at night. Although there is a lot of worrying about murders and attacks here, in Russia such stories are so common they wouldn't even make the news.

I love Britain for the enormous freedom it gives me. And yes, before you say it, that includes the freedom to write a book poking fun at it.

I am not sure a British author would get away with writing a similar-style book about Russia without fear of assassination!

Freedom. Here I can choose heels over Birkenstocks, dresses rather than tracksuit bottoms, galleries over pubs. I choose men who hold doors open for me (although they are hard to find!), but I could chose aggressive feminism instead.

I choose books rather than celebrity gossip magazines. I choose home-cooked steaks over burgers. I choose tolerance rather than attack. I choose natural, sun-kissed skin rather than the tanning salon, and I choose dancing rather than drinking myself into oblivion.

Britain offers us all of this. It's up to us to make the right choices

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I just post the stories, for interest.. for everyone

Lord, what fools these mortals be!
- A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act III, Scene ii

Voltaire said: "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."

H.L.Mencken wrote:"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.”

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein

I lived in Russia for 6 months and I have 3 words for this woman:

Pot. Kettle. Black.

I think this woman needs to live in a small village in northern UK. She is definitely suffering from a culture shock. If I had to go to an opera house every weekend, I would run away and never come back.

Matush Wrote:
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> I lived in Russia for 6 months and I have 3 words
> for this woman:
>
> Pot. Kettle. Black.

Tell me about it! How about the Russian women who gussy themselves up to find an American husband? Being a mail-order bride is nothing to brag about while looking down on others.

I don't understand why she has a problem with people taking the subway home from the pub. Would she rather see a woman get drunk, attempt to walk home and get raped on the way (assuming she couldn't afford a taxi)? Cheap public transportation also helps keep drunk drivers off the road.