Feeling a little guilty...

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brown-eyed diamond
Thank you, everybody.

Hmm. You all have pointed out a lot of red flags I didn't see. But I just remembered something from the last conversation we had before I broke it off. This was when I pointed out how eager he seemed for sex.

Him: Just one of those bucket list things.
Me: You've had sex before. How is it on your bucket list?
Him: I've never taken anyone's virginity before.

Yes, he knew damn well I've never had sex before. I made this clear as day and I actually freaked out when he got explicit as he did. I kept thinking why would you talk like that to someone you know hasn't had sex or done anything sexual?

:kill

If he ever communicates with you again, tell that rat bastard there are about a dozen online buddies who'd like to gang up and kick the ever lovin' crap out of him mob


Bucket list my ass. What a POS

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starbelly
Google Dan Savage and the Campsite Rule, and then insist that whoever you give it up to follows that rule. To paraphrase:

Campsite Rule: in relationships with a large age (or in this case experience) disparity, at the end of the relationship, the elder (or more experienced) partner should leave the younger (less experienced) partner in "better shape than they found them". This includes no diseases, no fertilized eggs, no undue emotional trauma, and whatever education that can be provided.

Damn...that is about the most sensible, realistic, kind-hearted philosophy about behaviour/early sexual relationships I've ever seen. Absolutely brilliant.

Drinking green beer is appropriate for a bucket list.
"Taking" someone's virginity is nasty, gross and weird for a bucket list.
Run, run far away. Do not look back. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200.
Yuck, yuck, yuck!

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evil ~
My husband and I lived an hour apart in 2 different states so he really doesn't have a good excuse for not meeting you before now.

In These Parts we call such a thing your daily commute. :eyebrows

About the Bucket List Virginity - what everyone else said, and this is just - GAH! ICK!

Dodged a bullet here!

You were planning to go to school? DO IT! You can meet guys there, too. IMO it's easier to 'size people up' in person.
And / or - you'll have to wade through it all online, too.

And you did!

Forget this creep and go read some school catalogs!

What a sleazy, creepy douche. Parents my arse - like the others said, he's married.

You have nothing to feel guilty about; quite the opposite. I'm just sorry he wasted your time. It sucks, but please take this as a learning experience so you'll be better able to spot red flags in the future.

The possibility that he's married or has a girlfriend makes me curious about something. He said he has a sister (he lives with his sister and parents). I don't know her age, but if he were married, I wonder who that "sister" would be. Supposedly, she worked at night. I don't know if his parents work or not.

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"Be yourself, no matter what. Some will adore you, and some will hate everything about you, but who cares?

It's your life. Make the most out of it."

Hell...brown-eyed didn't dodge a bullet...she dodged a nuclear warhead! :jump

_________________________________________________________

Why live in a fishbowl, when you could be swimming in the ocean?

"She, and all other rabid breeders, are like crabs in a bucket headed to Red Lobster. When they see a smarter crab escaping, they try to pull it back in." - Miss Hannigan

"Yeah, that's what family is about - guilt tripping people into cleaning up someone else's mess." - mrs. chinaski

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brown-eyed diamond
Him: Just one of those bucket list things.
Me: You've had sex before. How is it on your bucket list?
Him: I've never taken anyone's virginity before.

Yes, he knew damn well I've never had sex before. I made this clear as day and I actually freaked out when he got explicit as he did. I kept thinking why would you talk like that to someone you know hasn't had sex or done anything sexual?

Ugh, you're well rid of this guy. When I have sex with a virgin (which has happened a few times), I'm not thinking "Hey, I get to be the first one to make my mark!" but about how I can set the person at ease and make it as enjoyable an experience as possible. I like the Campsite rule; this is pretty much how I think about it.

I don't consider explicit talk in general a bad thing, but his complete inability to gauge how you felt about it is further evidence that he wouldn't have your interests in mind at all. You can pretty much see that he'd be a selfish person to sleep with, because if he's not adjusting based on your reactions verbally, he's certainly not going to do it in a more intimate situation when he's fulfilling his macho fantasy.

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gfsquirrel

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starbelly
Google Dan Savage and the Campsite Rule, and then insist that whoever you give it up to follows that rule. To paraphrase:

Campsite Rule: in relationships with a large age (or in this case experience) disparity, at the end of the relationship, the elder (or more experienced) partner should leave the younger (less experienced) partner in "better shape than they found them". This includes no diseases, no fertilized eggs, no undue emotional trauma, and whatever education that can be provided.

Damn...that is about the most sensible, realistic, kind-hearted philosophy about behaviour/early sexual relationships I've ever seen. Absolutely brilliant.

Dan Savage is my fucking hero. Seriously, he's so up-front about all of the uncomfortable bits and topics about sexuality that exist out there. Dan Savage will convince you that having a threesome with your loving spouse is a good thing, etc. Love him. Sorry to hijack the thread a little bit.

Bumping this to say I decided to give OKC (where I met this guy) another try. Made a whole new account and found his profile to block him. Since my profile is empty at the minute, he didn't know it was me and messaged me asking for a picture. A couple things:

1) Him messaging me allowed me to block him. Thanks, douchebag!

2) After reading his profile (which he changed/updated), I am so glad I got rid of him!

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"Be yourself, no matter what. Some will adore you, and some will hate everything about you, but who cares?

It's your life. Make the most out of it."

My friend met a guy just like this. They were friendly and had stuff in common, but at one point he started discussing his specific sexual needs in a way that just freaked her out and made her uncomfortable, as she's more vanilla. And she also feels guilty because he seemed like a fun guy.

Sometimes I think guys don't understand what it's like to be a woman, how we don't have the same amount of power or strength they do, and how we have so much to lose because we can get pregnant. Or sometimes they're just control freaks who want to subjugate a "female". Either way, I'm glad my friend at found out up front before she got involved. I'm glad you've decided to ignore this man.

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"[GFG's pregnancy is] kind of like at the stables where that one dumb, ugly-ass mare broke out of her corral one day and got herself screwed by the equally fugly colt that was due to be gelded the same afternoon."- Shiny

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brown-eyed diamond

We didn't have any trouble talking about other things and he didn't get "descriptive" until that night.

I wanted to stay friends and he even said it was my call. But when I said I wanted to, he said he didn't want to talk to me anymore.

Now that I think about it, it's possible we would've only had a hookup relationship. We live in different counties (30-40 minute between our towns), he wouldn't be able to see me until after four o'clock on weekdays (his work schedule) and weekends were out because he was often helping his parents.

My god he has more in him s**t then a Porta Potty: sounds like he was married or lived with someone. And he didn't want to be friends even after he said it was your call? Sounds manipulative.

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Someday we'll look back on this moment and plow into a parked car.

Evan Davis

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juliewashere88
There's nothing to feel guilty about. You don't owe anyone sex just because they spend time with you.

My Goddess YES 1000x. Or they buy you a drink, or they compliment you or anything!!

OT: Julie is that creepy, crazy woman still obsessed with you on the Experience Project?
She gives off a whiff of semi dangerous to be quite frank.

______________________________________________________
Someday we'll look back on this moment and plow into a parked car.

Evan Davis

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Dorisan

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brown-eyed diamond
Thank you, everybody.

Hmm. You all have pointed out a lot of red flags I didn't see. But I just remembered something from the last conversation we had before I broke it off. This was when I pointed out how eager he seemed for sex.

Him: Just one of those bucket list things.
Me: You've had sex before. How is it on your bucket list?
Him: I've never taken anyone's virginity before.

Yes, he knew damn well I've never had sex before. I made this clear as day and I actually freaked out when he got explicit as he did. I kept thinking why would you talk like that to someone you know hasn't had sex or done anything sexual?

:kill

If he ever communicates with you again, tell that rat bastard there are about a dozen online buddies who'd like to gang up and kick the ever lovin' crap out of him mob


Bucket list my ass. What a POS

Taken someones virginity, my god what a scumbucket. Real classy there buddy What a creep. I'm going to be a bit blunt: I used to be like that, because i didn't have self respect, therefore I attracted creepsters who didn't treat me with respect or kindness.

The ones who did I ran away from. Value yourself ok? And I'm loving what you said Dorien!
I'm sick of people who prey on younger folks. :cen

______________________________________________________
Someday we'll look back on this moment and plow into a parked car.

Evan Davis