It's your mom

I was reading about some guy wanting to throw her drug-addict mother's ashes into the toilet after being chosen by her to carry her last will because none of her other sons talks to her. after reading the comments I saw that a lot of people started to say that he should respect her wishes and carry her last wish the way she asked just because she is her mother.

Here's a couple of examples (all mistakes are from the original comments):

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She is still your mother...jesus christ dude...

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Cuz it's still his mother !!! Both my parents are alcoholic drunks .. and wasn't dealt the best hand in life. but I could never hate them . Because they made me , and I will forever be thankful for that . Forgive her , and don't ever let her occupy your mind with all the bad things she did .

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She is your mother. The one that gave you life.... Don't flush her ashes down the toilet...maybe you'l feel ok with it for a few years....but one day you'l wake up and realise the huge mistake you did and you will be powerless to fix it. As flurk1997 said. Keep the ashes a few years...or if you don't want...just spread her ashes as se requested and you'l be done with it but in the long run at least you will not have anything to feel sorry about...

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At the end of the day she's still the woman that brought you into the world.. My mother had an addiction problem and I suffered for 13 slow years before she died.. I hated her doing it when she was alive, but god did I miss her when she was gone. I spread her ashes where she asked me to and I find it hard to hold any grudges for what she did to herself and her family. She pushed everyone away and made people suffer, but I can forgive that now and had the decency to carry out her final wishes

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Meth head or not. She's still your mom who doesn't deserve being flushed down the toilet. But that's just my opinion.

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Ita still your mother, maybe she was not the best. But she still brought you till this world. Behind that meth problem she problably loves you and your siblings very much. So flushing her down the toilet would be pathetic.

I'm not sure exactly why, but reading people saying that just makes my blood boil. Like if you owed anything to your mother just because she gave you birth or because you share genes. I'm pretty sure that it doesn't matter if someone is a family member or some shit like that. If you were a shitty human being unable to earn love and respect while living, then you don't deserve any of that after dying. I ust find the comments above so stupid that infuriates me.

Hope I didn't bored you with my rant, but I think this is the only place where I can rant about this things without seeing an horde of white knights.

My only reaction is don't flush the ashes it might fuck up the plumbing, but I understand why.

Crapping out a loaf doesn't turn moo in to some sort of saint. See no need for the santimonious moomy worship, and no need to abide by her final wishes.

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hana
My only reaction is don't flush the ashes it might fuck up the plumbing, but I understand why.

Crapping out a loaf doesn't turn moo in to some sort of saint. See no need for the santimonious moomy worship, and no need to abide by her final wishes.

I was thinking the same. It would be a better idea to just throw them to the garbage. Between the moomy worship and the death worship, I don't know which one is worse. As if a bunch of dust would feel hurt if you throw it away.

I agree that shitting out a loaf doesn't lead to any future obligations. What I am wondering is why didn't the guy just turn down being responsible for the ashes? Anybody can appoint anybody to be an executor of their will or designate them to perform XYZ after they die. That doesn't mean the person has to accept it. All the dude had to do was say "no" to carrying out his moo's last wishes, even if she had it in her will. I'm guessing there was some cash or property attached to this decree in the will, so he went ahead and did it anyway. If he accepted the responsiblity, he should do what the will says. Otherwise, he should have passed.

I had the same thought about the plumbing! Toss her in the toilet and you give her the power to mess up your life some more!

I really don't see why the dead person's disposal preferences matter. That person is dead. As long as the person doesn't think that the flushing in any way affects the person who is dead, I don't see why it matters. Scatter, throw in the bin, whatever gives the living greatest satisfaction, be that honoring the person's memory, engaging in an act of petty revenge, or just getting rid of the burden and expectations and moving on.

Yeah, she brought you into this world so she could torment you and make you miserable for 18 years! Wonderful. And she deserves respect, why exactly?

If anything, bringing a kid into this world, especially if they're shit parents, is something they have to overcome in order to deserve respect, not something that automatically gives it to them. You shit a larva. So what? You and every other organism with working gonads.

If flushing it makes him feel better, more power to him.

I may be a heartless bitch. My mother's wishes I would respect. She is the better of my parents, is healthy and sane. I hope the sperm donor/ bully dies before her. He better have pre-paid his funeral arrangements, especially if he wants to be burried. I aint paying to take care of his carcass upon his demise. He was loving for a few years, until the end of my "toddlerhood". Love the baybee, hate the pre-teen. If his siblings want to give him a church send-off, they can pay for it. Priests at those events never say a cross word about the deceased. I do not want to listen to someone who did not know him ramble on about what a good man, father and husband he was. :BS
I spent more $$ on cremating the dogs who loved me than I would on him.

I once told my mooo that if she hadn't paid for her funeral expenses, I'd lean her carcass against a funeral home, ring the bell and run away.

My entire life was one of neglect, abuse and the craziness of two alcoholic immature parents.

Despite spending my first three decades being the only responsible one who made sure bills were paid, food bought and cooked and to keep the household running, I got nothing but abuse and criticism from them.

Finally, I cut them out of my life entirely.

Both parents died recently and I got nothing but criticism from relatives about avoiding the whole charade.

Being a parent does not mean you're owed anything at all from your offspring. If a person breeds, there should be no expectation or assumption that those kids will wipe Mom and Dad's asses when they're old, senile and incontinent. If the parents are relatively sane and not neglectful or abusive, there might be a chance their kids will treat them with dignity in old age, but even THEN, respect must be earned. It's very possible for a parent to make sure their kids are cared for, fed and clothed, but that child is still mistreated. My mother made sure my needs were met, but she still emotionally and verbally abused me, and continues to do so. Therefore, I do not respect her. I owe her absolutely nothing; the fact that she gave birth to me means jack shit and does not automatically make her a saint that is worthy of praise.

So if this guy wants to throw his mother's cremains down the shitter, then more power to him. I know for some idiots, it's "Wah wah wah she's ur mom!" and maybe they were fortunate enough to have good mothers and can't imagine doing that, or had mothers who brainwashed them into believing that they HAVE to love her no matter what. But for this guy, flushing the ashes could be a sort of healing process for him. To be able to take someone who you hate and flush them out of your life for good might be very therapeutic to him, especially if his mother was abusive. And if none of the other kids talked to her, it was likely for a good reason and the toilet is probably too good for her.

In fact, I hope she has all her necessary funerary shit sorted out since she wants to be buried (she's Catlick ad believes that the body has to be intact in order for the soul to go to heaven... like she'd go there if there was a heaven). Because I have no issue at all donating her to science or having her cremated if she doesn't, so unless she has every single cent covered, from the coffin to the tombstone, she will be disposed of in whatever way will not cost me anything.

Erg! I hate that!
She’s your moooom! Sure she had a meth problem, sure she let her fuck of the month molest you while she stood by and did nothing, and sure she got a hold of your ATM card and robbed you blind, but she brought you into this world, damn it! You ought to be grateful!
How about you shut the fuck up and keep your sanctimonious moo worship to yourself. If he wants to drop Moo’s ashes into the nearest dumpster, flush it down the shitter or hand them off to one of her crack head friends who ends up selling them for drugs, by all means he should be allowed to do so. I’ve seen first hand that shitting out a loaf does not make one a better person.
I’ve noticed that people who spew this kinda bullshit are breeders themselves. I guess the possibility of your kids growing up to hate you and not taking care of you when you’re old is pretty terrifying to these people.

My mother was also pretty horrible. I'm going to list a few of her worst offenses:

1. Deliberately kept me from learning about a family member's death.

2. Lied to me about my father because she didn't want me knowing his family.

3. Refused to tell me that I had six possible fathers. Yes, mommy was quite the little whore.

4. Lied about where I was born in order to cover up these things.

5. Has no less than one hundred fifty people wanting to dance on her grave.

If ANYONE ever told me "She's your mother" or some such crap the most civilized response I give would be telling them to fuck off. The worst I would do is punch them.

And now here's a small exchange I had with one weird guy about the same topic (I say it's weird because it seems that he goes to everything I write and then bitches about it, also, he aptly names himself the fool):

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me
Look at all those asshats that think that just because they share genes he owes her any respect. Since she alienated all of her family and she was a meth head we can easily say that she was a crappy mother and a shittier human being. OP didn't ask to be born and certainly he doesn't owe anything to that drug addict. So you should better shove you self-righteousness deep in your ass.

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idiot
He doesn't "owe" her respect. Flushing her ashes down the toilet would make him just bad as she was. You just sound like a petulant, angry child.

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me
Yeah, because throwing a bunch of inanimate ashes is the same as lying, neglecting and abusing your children, idiot.

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idiot
It's an extremely revealing aspect of someone's character that he's going to try to "get back" at her by flushing her ashes down the toilet because he's too much of a coward to confront her. If you think you have a right to defile someone's remains because they were a drug addict then you are beyond reason. Also judging from your use of vocabulary, I'm going to assume you're incapable of forming intelligent opinions.

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me
You seem to be the one incapable of forming smart thoughts. Funerals are for the living, not for the dead; he's the one getting closure and that's how he's going to get it. Now, if you think you'll get something talking to a drug addict who drove everyone away; you're either too naive or too stupid. And respecting remains is like respecting a lamp. Inanimate objects don't get offended, so throwing them on the toilet will only have a clogged pipe as a consequence.

The only thing I can see wrong with it (other than the clogged pipe) is bad karma. If nothing else don't claim the ashes. Even though she was a horrible detestable human who many rejoiced at her passing, doing these things just has a way of coming back and biting one in the ass. Take her ashes if one must claim them because they said they would and scatter them somewhere....give yourself closure and peace knowing you at least kept your word. It doesn't mean s/he cared for her, just that they showed more character and lessened that much hatred and control the bitch had over them. It's continually feeding the hatred, always remembering what was done, never letting go, always letting the bitch have control instead of healing themselves.

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addiea raine
The only thing I can see wrong with it (other than the clogged pipe) is bad karma. If nothing else don't claim the ashes. Even though she was a horrible detestable human who many rejoiced at her passing, doing these things just has a way of coming back and biting one in the ass. Take her ashes if one must claim them because they said they would and scatter them somewhere....give yourself closure and peace knowing you at least kept your word. It doesn't mean s/he cared for her, just that they showed more character and lessened that much hatred and control the bitch had over them. It's continually feeding the hatred, always remembering what was done, never letting go, always letting the bitch have control instead of healing themselves.

The bolded part is what I agree with the most. Karma - yeah, I have a tendency to gulp back the words "I'd never do (insert activity/task/decision)" because it seems like that is exactly what you end up doing. The rest - ehh, if you believe that taking the high road leads to a resolution.

Mostly - don't claim the ashes. Totally detach from the deceased by saying "you are dead, gone, no longer exist. I don't even recognize your presence by claiming the last bit of waste product to which you have been reduced. I have no reason to perform this last dignity for you. If some stranger wants to do it, fine. Let it be known that the last few ounces of your physical existence were disposed of by a stranger because you never cultivated or earned the love and respect of the people to whom you were connected by blood."

Meh not so much as taking the high road as it is doing what you said you would do . Personally there is no way in the flaming pits of Hell I would ever claim the ashes in the first place, but if somehow I wound up saying I would (going to Hell for this I know) I would do as I said I would. I would also do my best to be as tactful as possible by disposing of said ashes somewhere instead of the plumbing....no matter how badly or how much said "person" deserved it. And again it would be something personal because I really would not want that coming back to bite me in arse nor do I want that hamster running around in my brain....it just gives the bitch more control even after death and they really are not worth it .

OP,

I certainly do understand. A cockroach can breed. We live in a culture where breeder women are worshipped. I feel that that is wrong. This is why we have people who are not even interested in parenting going through IVF and all sorts of expensive treatments in order to breed. Because in this culture, if you don't breed, you are garbage. It is really sad and pathetic. It is one of the reasons why I don't associate with too many people IRL. Too many people are ignorant breeder worshipping pieces of garbage. I have been burned by too many of them and I just don't have time for the breeder brains any longer.

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"I have found little that is 'good' about human beings on the whole. In my experience most of them are trash, no matter whether they publicly subscribe to this or that ethical doctrine or to none at all."
~Sigmund Freud

Just make sure he dumps the ashes in small batches so the toilet can handle it and/or drizzle a small stream of ash in while it is flushing.
Refill, repeat.

two cents ¢¢

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong

Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children.

The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke

Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.

Maybe he could scatter the ashes in appropriate places for druggie moo. Like in the park where the meth heads hang out, skid row, a back alley - places her soul would feel at home. I don't see that as creating bad karma, it does scatter the ashes and it reflects who and what she chose to be in life.

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blondie
Maybe he could scatter the ashes in appropriate places for druggie moo. Like in the park where the meth heads hang out, skid row, a back alley - places her soul would feel at home. I don't see that as creating bad karma, it does scatter the ashes and it reflects who and what she chose to be in life.

Both of my parents recently died separated by months.
About a decade ago, I chose to have no more contact with them due to my being subjected to a entire lifetime of abuse, neglect, theft, etc mainly caused by their alcoholic, immature and narcissistic behaviour.
Relatives contacted me each time for death notification and to let me know about theirs sole remembrance ceremonies at their local booze can.
Really.

Well, about karma. There's an explanation of why it's fake over here click. So I wouldn't worry about that. It's like if something is going to happen to anybody. now, if someone decides to give him a taste of his own medicine, it wouldn't matter because he's dead. he is not going to even notice.

Maybe the solution to avoid clogging is to throw just a little each time and down it with pee. That's way there's no clogging and it's not like you're wasting water.

That reminds me that the other day I saw people giving the same kind of comments to someone saying that he was tired of having his mother living with them since she was evicted because she "forgot" to pay rent and she she didn't had a job or did anything.