street harrasment

I often find good points of view here from smart women. I'm wondering if anyone has heard about this street harrasment which seems to be all up in the soft news and crapbook.

http://www.thefrisky.com/2014-08-12/7-responses-to-mansplanations-about-street-harassment/

I wonder what th epeople here think about this.

I have been exposed to that type of nonsense my entire life. I always ignore it and am left thinking that only a man with very low intellect would think something like that would endear a woman to him. If that behavior DOES endear that woman to him then she's "Idiocracy" trash too.down

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!

I'm pretty sure none of them think it'll be endearing. It's about feeling in control over a woman.

The one that particularly bothers me (probably because I don't find that it's talked about as much as the others, but I hear it a lot from MRA types) is #6. No, I don't care how attractive you are if you're acting like a complete douchenozzle. Attractiveness is about more than just a handsome face and a great ass. Behavior is a HUGE part of it and I guarantee that most women will agree. If you act like you're entitled to my attention, I'm going to be put off right away, no matter how you look. Yes, I've been hit on by some drop dead gorgeous creeps, but they were creeps nonetheless.
Again, they're also most likely aware of what I just wrote, but it can't be their fault, now can it?

I don't have low self-esteem. That's a mistake. I have low esteem for everyone else.
-Daria

Street harassment is one of those things that make me so angry I literally start to feel my blood boil. It's a perverse and disgusting act which is incomprehensibly widely tolerated in society. I don't get it! Why aren't there laws in place yet against this sort of thing?

I have been harassed innumerable times while out and about minding my own business, just because I don't like walking around looking like a slob or because at one time I had blonde hair. And my experiences are nothing in comparison with some of the stories I've heard...Believe it or not, this was one big factor that made me move out of London because I got really fed up with this constant crap. At least where I'm now I don't have to worry that anyone will even look at me which is soooooo liberating.
If we live in a society that aims to include all creeds and sexual orientations, then there surely is no place for street harassment since a man might be harassing a gay woman or an asexual woman or a woman who defines her gender/sexuality in a different way but who is not straight, and because these things are not imprinted on our foreheads there is no way to know them. Wtf, does some slimy disgusting creep really expect a lesbian woman to turn straight and throw herself at his feet just because he screams something at her in the street? Not that it makes it okay when the attacked woman is straight, but I find that the absurdity is highlighted when the woman in question is not straight. Street harassment is something that pretty much only exclusively harms women and goes against the rights of all women. I hate men who partake in street harassment with a passion and have always made sure to scream blue murder whenever it happened to me so that everyone around me would be alerted and the perpetrator humiliated. Seriously, I have zero tolerance for that type of scum. That's also one of the reasons I don't go to countries like Italy, Greece or Turkey where this sort of thing is endemic, unless they sort out their mens' behavior they won't be getting my money.
Why laws haven't been enacted yet I don't understand. Therefore, to all politicians worldwide:

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rockchick


That's also one of the reasons I don't go to countries like Italy, Greece or Turkey where this sort of thing is endemic, unless they sort out their mens' behavior they won't be getting my money.

You are right about those countries and that's one of the reasons I don't want to go there. Add Egypt to the list. What's funny is the fact that they had such great cultures back in the day. Now, they have just devolved to a bunch of morons tooting horns at women. I don't know how you can go from the great Roman empire to screaming out of ugly cars at women and throwing bananas at black politicians see here. How far Italy (and the rest of the countries you mentioned) have fallen.

OT: I believe that the U.S. is about to take the same fall.

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"I have found little that is 'good' about human beings on the whole. In my experience most of them are trash, no matter whether they publicly subscribe to this or that ethical doctrine or to none at all."
~Sigmund Freud

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rockchick
That's also one of the reasons I don't go to countries like Italy, Greece or Turkey where this sort of thing is endemic, unless they sort out their mens' behavior they won't be getting my money.

Of the countries you've mentioned, the only one where I've encountered significant undesired male attention is Italy, and most of it was reasonably polite attention. I wasn't traveling alone in Turkey, however, which may have made a difference.

I've gotten more catcalling in the US and the UK than anywhere else.

I'm glad I don't live anywhere where this is at all common.

Mercifully, I've never been subjected to hostile street harassment that made me feel threatened, angry or embarrassed -- most likely because I grew up out in the sticks. Construction workers on scaffolds were non-existent, and if the farmer down the road shouted something at me as he drove by in his tractor, I didn't hear him.

The very few times I've been walking down the street and a random guy (and why do they never look like Christan Bale?) has said something along the lines of "Looking good, girl!" it's been with a smile, and never been explicit or filthy, so I have not taken it as demeaning. It's not the most eloquent of compliments, but hey -- I'll assume it's coming from a good-hearted place, so whatever.

I can't be a hypocrite. I'm no stranger to silly behavior like this. It's entirely possible that 17-year-old-on-Spring-Break me hung out the passenger side of the rental car in Myrtle Beach, suggesting that various specimens of virile young American manhood take off their shirts...:chug

Certainly I've seen women being subjected to much more aggressive comments, and I guess my first thought has always been "What the hell are you assholes trying to accomplish here? Do you think she's going to turn around and say 'Why, yes, actually I would love to "shake that ass a little more" for you boys. Thank you so much for asking!'"

It comes across as pathetic. Like guys paying for lap dances and tucking bills into a stripper's g-string because -- yeah, she's totally going to think you're great and hey, if you play your cards right, she' might want to get to know you. Um, no. No, she won't.

The truly hostile harassment, sadly and infuriatingly, is just another symptom of a WAY bigger problem. You can chalk it up to cultures or societies that don't value women; you could see it as just another variation on prejudice and hatred of any sort; or consider it yet further proof -- as if any more is needed -- that the raging assholes in this world are only increasing their numbers. But there seems to be less of the relatively innocuous "looking good" being said, and a disturbing increase in purposely demeaning and aggressive commentary. I don't know what the solution is, and I don't know that it will ever truly go away, but the direction it's heading is not a good one.

http://www.ihollaback.org/

http://www.stopstreetharassment.org/

(Warning: some if not most of the stories are really scary and/or disgusting.)

Oh yes, that's a mystery to me too, how a nation can go from being the world's foremost architects, innovators, composers (Brunelleschi, Palladio, da Vinci, Aldus Manutius, Vivaldi) to becoming a nation of horn-tooting sex-crazed idiots. On top of that, they foisted Gucci and D&G onto the usnsupecting world, and that's unforgivable. It's a great shame because I love Italian architecture and history and I even speak Italian, but I flat out refuse to go there again after having been to Venice at the age of 11 and having had to endure myself and my mom being harassed. So not only are the men there sex-crazed imbeciles, no, they are pedophile sex-crazed imbeciles.

I'm a supporter of hollaback! and think it's about time something was finally done. Even if someone tells me I'm 'looking good', there is a time and a place for that, and when I'm outside walking around and minding my own business that's definitely not the time and the place for such things. Approaching a woman in a club or a bar is okay, but when she clearly expresses her disinterest by a monosyllabic 'No', then that's it. There is no need to start acting aggressively because the butthurt over having been rejected burns too much.

The South in the US is the worst. Nasty, uneducated morons who are like those bad kids in school that think negative attention is better than none. Believe it or not, I am spending the summer at a beach community at the Jersey Shore and it simply doesn't happen in our particular town. Staring does and looks dumb but not hooting, cat calling, yo mama, nice ass. Of course there is a lot of attention at the beach but it is normal conversation. Most importantly, they dont get all pissed if you say gotta go, or wanna get back to my book, gonna go for a swim now, or whatever. I've been cussed out in Nashville TN for refusing my phone number and I was married and wearing a ring!

Where I live if someone pulled that shit the woman would probably knock him out. Especially if they are born and raised here because it is a city of thugs. Even rich educated women here are not afraid to beat the shit out of somebody if they have to.

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yurble

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rockchick
That's also one of the reasons I don't go to countries like Italy, Greece or Turkey where this sort of thing is endemic, unless they sort out their mens' behavior they won't be getting my money.

Of the countries you've mentioned, the only one where I've encountered significant undesired male attention is Italy, and most of it was reasonably polite attention. I wasn't traveling alone in Turkey, however, which may have made a difference.

I've gotten more catcalling in the US and the UK than anywhere else.

I'm glad I don't live anywhere where this is at all common.

You don't mention your travelling comapnion's gender but I think that if your wlaking with a man you get less cat-calling and harrasment. (you shouldn't have to resort to that but it's sadly true.

Now I've posted there under another name but my question is this.

Once I was in brighton walking to the pub (Due to sudden sun, I'd thrown my coat over my shoulder, holding it with the hook through my finger, (thinking it made me look more handsome) and during this some random girl grabbed my arse(I still don't know which one it was since there were two together and they both blamed the other) . I think you'd all agree with me this could be harrasment (Genders/orientation shouldnt matter, if it makes someone uncomftable its harrasment) however I wasn't bothered,even flattered so since I was OK with it, was it still street harrasment?

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casey

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yurble
Of the countries you've mentioned, the only one where I've encountered significant undesired male attention is Italy, and most of it was reasonably polite attention. I wasn't traveling alone in Turkey, however, which may have made a difference.

I've gotten more catcalling in the US and the UK than anywhere else.

I'm glad I don't live anywhere where this is at all common.

You don't mention your travelling comapnion's gender but I think that if your wlaking with a man you get less cat-calling and harrasment. (you shouldn't have to resort to that but it's sadly true.

You're right, of course. I was with a man, and that's the reason I mentioned not being alone, because I know that often makes a difference.

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casey
Now I've posted there under another name but my question is this.

Once I was in brighton walking to the pub (Due to sudden sun, I'd thrown my coat over my shoulder, holding it with the hook through my finger, (thinking it made me look more handsome) and during this some random girl grabbed my arse(I still don't know which one it was since there were two together and they both blamed the other) . I think you'd all agree with me this could be harrasment (Genders/orientation shouldnt matter, if it makes someone uncomftable its harrasment) however I wasn't bothered,even flattered so since I was OK with it, was it still street harrasment?

I believe it is still street harrasment because this is an action which could reasonably be assumed to make a stranger uncomfortable. I've read of some women saying they enjoy being cat-called (presumably they're talking about the type that merely objectifies rather than makes you feel threatened). I don't think it makes the action acceptable just because some people might welcome it.

The fact that you did not feel threatened or uncomfortable is great, that means it wasn't a negative incident for you. But it doesn't mean that what she did was acceptable.

If they actually make physical contact with you (as in touch/grab/etc), isn't that considered a form of assault?

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Medusa
If they actually make physical contact with you (as in touch/grab/etc), isn't that considered a form of assault?

good point. I guess I could have seen it that way and it could be categorised like that, I dunno if you can have an assualt if the victim isn't botherd. If some one stole my rubbish I'd not be bothered, is it still a crime or wrong?

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casey

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yurble

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rockchick
That's also one of the reasons I don't go to countries like Italy, Greece or Turkey where this sort of thing is endemic, unless they sort out their mens' behavior they won't be getting my money.

Of the countries you've mentioned, the only one where I've encountered significant undesired male attention is Italy, and most of it was reasonably polite attention. I wasn't traveling alone in Turkey, however, which may have made a difference.

I've gotten more catcalling in the US and the UK than anywhere else.

I'm glad I don't live anywhere where this is at all common.

You don't mention your travelling comapnion's gender but I think that if your wlaking with a man you get less cat-calling and harrasment. (you shouldn't have to resort to that but it's sadly true.

Now I've posted there under another name but my question is this.

Once I was in brighton walking to the pub (Due to sudden sun, I'd thrown my coat over my shoulder, holding it with the hook through my finger, (thinking it made me look more handsome) and during this some random girl grabbed my arse(I still don't know which one it was since there were two together and they both blamed the other) . I think you'd all agree with me this could be harrasment (Genders/orientation shouldnt matter, if it makes someone uncomftable its harrasment) however I wasn't bothered,even flattered so since I was OK with it, was it still street harrasment?

Not only is this harassment, it's assault. But I bet this kind of thing happened to you just that once, not daily. You don't have to worry whether you can wear this or that to go out because some creep might find you sexy. I hate it when men decide that women are overreacting because they enjoyed getting attention from some crazy drunk chick.
The difference is that even if soem stupid woman 'harasses' a guy, the guy won't have to fear getting groped or raped. The physical threat is just not there. But when a man harasses a woman, the threat is always present.

Sorry if I come across as rude but street harassment is something I just don't tolerate at all. No ifs or buts, we need laws, and we need them now.