Lost my mom today.

My mom, Dorothy, died this morning after we were off the phone discussing where to have supper tonight. I just can't explain it to myself emotionally. Being a nurse, I know these things happen quickly and without warning. She sounded fine, but she said she had a headache and wanted to rest until we picked her up. Not long after we ended the time, the nursing staff at the assisted living community where she lived called us and said her alarm had been triggered and she was dead by the time they entered. Massive cerebral hemorrhage and simultaneous heart attack. Mom's had high blood pressure for years, but it was under control. The only explanation is that it happened and no more.

Mom lived the fullest life possible and on her terms. Being a force of nature, she would not have it any other way. She and dad (who passed years ago) were married for 37 wonderful years, and they were quite a couple of characters. My mom harbored a very wicked sense of humor and a razor-sharp with that she enjoyed bantering with dad. Dad was a no-nonsense, loving guy who was a great husband, mate and old-fashioned father who expected the best. Once, in a very candid moment, mom admitted to me that she would have liked to have been child-free and she felt guilty for it. I told her she should not feel guilty because she raised me to be an independent, educated woman with no barriers and no limits. I told her that my success was her success, and same for dad.

I only add this to the board to memorialize the passing of my heroine--my mom--who was brave, funny, smart, wickedly good at housekeeping (wish that would have rubbed off on me!) and one hell of a damned mom and wife.

Rest in peace, mom. You earned it. I don't know what, if anything, lies beyond death, but you will live on in our memories.

Thanks for letting me share.

I am so very sorry for you loss.

Keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

My condolences on the sudden loss of your mother, cfbitchfromla. She sounds like a wonderful person who had a full life. Virtual hugs to you.

You were blessed. Both your parents sound like people for whom the world is a sadder place at their loss.

My condolences...

My sincere condolences to you and your family, cfbitchfromla

Your mother sounds like she was a wonderful human being who lived a good life.

Condolences. the hard thing for us to remember is we are family members even if we can clinician ourselves. Make sure you take care of yourself now.

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“There are three things all wise men fear: the sea in storm, a night with no moon, and the anger of a gentle man.”

Condolences to you and yours, cfb. You are in my thoughts.

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From a bottle cap message on a Magic Hat #9 beer: Condoms Prevent Minivans
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I want to pick up a bus full of unruly kids and feed them gummi bears and crack, then turn them loose in Hobby Lobby to ransack the place. They will all be wearing T shirts that say "You Could Have Prevented This."

I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending you virtual hugs.

My condolences, cfbitch.

Very sorry to hear ~

Condolences. She sounds like she was an amazing woman.

Condolences

I'm so sorry for your loss, CFB. She sounds like a wonderful woman, wife and mother.

I offer you my sympathies. May you cherish your memories. How lucky you were to have normal, loving parents. She left this place knowing she had done a great job raising you right.

So sorry to hear. She and your dad sound like wonderful and supportive people. What a gift to have them as your parents.

Losing someone you love is hard enough, but sudden death has additional challenges. Be very good to yourself right now.

:hugs

I am so sorry for your loss. To echo everyone else, be good to yourself right now. She sounds like she was an incredible person.

You will be in my thoughts.

"Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live." - Oscar Wilde

I'm so sorry for your loss. I just lost my mom in early Sept., so I know what you're going through. Feel free to pm me if you need to talk.

I am sorry to hear about your loss. Please remember, we are here for you if you need us, we are family too.

Lots of these for you:

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Why live in a fishbowl, when you could be swimming in the ocean?

"She, and all other rabid breeders, are like crabs in a bucket headed to Red Lobster. When they see a smarter crab escaping, they try to pull it back in." - Miss Hannigan

"Yeah, that's what family is about - guilt tripping people into cleaning up someone else's mess." - mrs. chinaski

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I'm so sorry for your loss, cfbitchfromla. I know a lot of folks on here don't like their parents, and it always sucks when someone loses their mom or dad and said parents were actually good, sane people. Your mum sounds like an awesome person and I'm sorry she had to go so soon. I can't offer much insight because I have never lost a parent or lost a loved one so suddenly, but I and the other members are all here for you.

My condolences to you. They sound like they were great people who had a full life and wanted you to have the same.

Your parents may now be gone from this world, but they will always live in your heart.

I am so sorry for your huge loss, cfbitchfromla. Your mom was obviously an amazing lady and I hope she has been reunited with your equally wonderful dad. Please take good care of yourself.

Just a huge "THANK YOU" for your kind thoughts and condolences. The past few weeks were difficult, especially considering how close mom and I were. She adored Tony, my husband, and he said to a big extent she was more of a mom to him than his own mother. His mother died years ago, and Tony has helped me through the process.

What I was not ready for was just how complicated my mom's estate is. She had money stuffed in everything, from the 100 teapots she collected to books to inside the linings of the drawers in her dresser. Wow. Tony and I about tore apart everything and finally found everything. Originally her will said that everything but a few antiques was to be given to her favorite charities, but she amended her will last month leaving me a big sum of money and the antiques. She had a letter that accompanied her will saying that some of her charities had disillusioned her during the past few years with some of the shenanigans with their finances. I am not bragging here, but Tony and I are financially quite secure, so we decided to donate half of my inheritance to a scholarship fund at a medical school in the LA area for breast cancer and cardiovascular research fellowships for physicians in training. The other half of the money will go to a variety of charities that we picked out together--and all in her name. One particular charity we thought was apropos was a no-kill shelter where mom and I volunteered after my dad's death to help us through the grieving process. We became even closer in that process.

I want my mom's legacy to be of empowerment and healing to women and to animals in stress, and I will keep the antiques as part of her legacy in our home.

Again, thank you all for your kind thoughts. Everyone knows this moment comes sooner or later, but you are never quite prepared for it.

I am very sorry you lost your mom, Cfbitchfromla. I've been down that road myself - lost my father first then my mother, within 5 years time - life becomes surreal at that moment. My thoughts are with you.