Anybody here get crushes?

Hi, all. I know it's been awhile since I've been here, but it's good to see everything is still full of snarky goodnesseyes2

This is probably a strange topic to bring up, but I need some advice. My Better Half and I have been together a long time, 30 years as a couple. Married almost 26, and we've had the usual ups and downs but things are still good. Problem is, I'm very prone to crushes and have been almost our entire married life. Of course, I'm going through another now, and he's a friend of my hubby and me. Thing is, I've never hidden my crushes from my hubby--that would feel like I was hiding something, which would seem worse.

Any thoughts from the wise? Since I was raised Catholic, I still have guilt feelings about having randy thoughts. Oops...:satan

It takes a child to raze a village.

Yes, I get crushes, maybe once every couple of years. They usually last a few months and then fade out. I don't tell my SO because he has no interest in the subject (which I know from having told him in the past; he neither gets upset nor wants to discuss it). If this has been happening so long and you and your partner have reached a reasonable way of handling it, I don't see any reason to feel bad about it, if you're not going out of your way to encourage the crushes to develop.

Yup, I get them too. I have a tendency of being a "love at first sight" kind of person, as in I will get an immediate crush on someone who I know nothing about. Even if I find out I have nothing in common with them, something still draws me to them. If I get to know them better, I'll find out they aren't the perfect dreamboats I had built up in my mind and I might be able to make a friend at the end of the day. If I don't get to know them better, the crush just takes a couple more months to fade away completely. No big deal, it happens. We're only human and we have fleeting schoolgirl crushes from time to time, regardless of age.

Sometimes you just see some attractive (not necessarily physical) qualities in a person and you crush on them a little... or a lot. I did this recently with a guy who I thought was very hot physically. Well, my kind of hot, anyway, as well as a kind personality. I find out he has a wife and a litter and, in spite of the fact that Duhs turn me off any other time, I still found him to be handsome when his brats and wife weren't around because then I could pretend for a moment or two that he was single. But eventually that crush disappeared on its own. I also had a big crush on one of my classmates in grad school and, aside from our major, we had absolutely nothing in common. I hardly spoke to him until my last year, and even when we did, it was just idle chit-chat. I bonded far more with the other two people in my class.

Don't feel bad about having crushes now and then. They're harmless and normal, and just because you have them doesn't mean you don't love your husband any less. Being in a relationship doesn't mean you aren't gonna admire/ogle someone else from time to time, be it a porn star or the hot neighbor shirtlessly mowing the lawn. Plus, you share these thoughts with your husband and I assume it's something he doesn't mind hearing if you guys are still together. This tells me that he feels very secure in his relationship with you. I think most guys would get jealous and pouty over it.

Best advice I can give is just to try and relax and enjoy your crush without guilt. It'll pass in time.

I am used to being in relationships where if I see someone I find sexy I point them out to the other person and we describe our dirty thoughts about them out of earshot. But I am bisexual and I do not believe in monogamy so it is different for me to talk about and analyse these things.

I have just finished nursing a major crush on a celebrity. I met him in person last summer at a fan event.

Yep, happily married, and I definitely get crushes, I don't tell my husband though. It would hurt his feelings. Right now there is a coworker of mine at another one of our facilities that I have less than pure thoughts about. I work with some very fine men, and all of them are great human beings.

There's another one who's crushworthy who I think probably has one on ME. Hahaha.

I get them too and I don't tend to tell my husband, but I have told him before and he doesn't seem to care or worry. He knows I'm staying put. I think it's perfectly normal to have lustful feelings towards several people.