Another typical breeder moment in first class on my flight today from Seattle to LA.
Many moos use duhd's frequent flyer miles to take the brats to see duhddie or grandmoo or whoever. I always get stuck next to or just across the aisle from them, like some kind of CF cloud hanging over my head. Today's first class debacle was a real treat.
Moo tries to push her way up in line with a huge-assed stroller and four roll-on bags for herself, a lapbrat and her toadler. Given my luck in these circumstances, she is right across the aisle from me with lapbrat in her arms and screeching toadler next to her. The gate agent, thankfully, told her she was allowed two rollaboards and she would have to check the other two. Of course, we had to have a bitchfest over that shit that delayed boarding until she checked them. By this time, boarding had moved around her and she nearly knocked some little old woman over rolling her ass down the jetway with the other bags and the brats. Then, when she boarded the plane two passengers behind me, she complained to the flight attendant that all of the first class overheads were full. They were not, it just seems she was too fucking lazy to put them in the ones just behind her seat. So by badgering and treating the flight attendant like dirt, she labeled herself as a troublemaker up front. She finally got herself, brats and all into the seats, but not before the toadler started yelling it's head off that it wanted the aisle seat. The flight attendant offered pre-flight drinks, and the toadler got a coke. Nice idea, you stupid broodsow, load the toadler up on sugar and caffeine. Oy vey.
During the two and half hour flight, the bitch had to walk up and down the aisles with the brats at least five times. She bratstalked the first class cabin, into the first few rows of economy until the one coach class flight attendant told her she needed to move back into first class so they could do a second beverage service. Then she had to let the toadler run up and down the aisles, and he nearly knocked over the first class flight attendant who had two cups of coffee in her hands to serve. The moo told the flight attendant to stop being so clumsy and told her she could have burned the brat. The first class flight attendant gritted her teeth and reminded the moo that the brat is not supposed to be up alone and told her to please keep the brat out of the way. Moo spent another few minutes bragging to the flight attendant how duhddie was an elite level flyer and how special she should be treated because of it.
Then, just as we were making our initial landing approach, the brat had to use the lavatory, and regaled the entire first class cabin by coming out of the door with his moo and telling everyone he just pee-peed into that toilet. Disgusting. Of course, the moo was beaming and acting like the little shitstain had just discovered a new wonder drug. The woman beside me in the window seat gasped and said how disgusting that display was. I agreed with her.
Then, right as we landed, the smell of diaper shit permeated the cabin and the moo just kept smelling the brat's ass and saying how someone needed her little poopy changed. While I was ready to hurl a full airsickness bag at the moo bitch, the woman next to me turned green around the gills and I thought I would need to administer assistance for acute air nausea.
As we deplaned, the moo got up first, hauled her bags out of the overhead bin knocking two other first class passengers in the head. The toadler was wailing loudly that it wanted to be carried and the moo was angry when the gate agent told her to move aside to let people pass while she was waiting for her huge-assed stroller to be brought from the cargo hold to the aircraft door.
It was a stinking, noisy, brat-toxic flight from hell. I just wanted to shove the bitch and her brats through a window!