I'm a bad aunt, I can't STAND my niece and nephew

Definitely. I love buying treats for my appreciative nieces and nephews, because when I was a kid, my aunts and uncles spoiled me and it made me so happy.

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"[GFG's pregnancy is] kind of like at the stables where that one dumb, ugly-ass mare broke out of her corral one day and got herself screwed by the equally fugly colt that was due to be gelded the same afternoon."- Shiny

Is it bad that when people in my family send me money as a gift I do not send a thank you note until I bought something with it (that they would approve of) so I can tell them what I used it for?

As long as you send one. Better late than never and I think that if somebody cared about you enough to send you money, they'd like to know that you're enjoying using it for needed/wanted items.

You're not a bad aunt, at all. They're little assholes.

I'm sure if they had any manners at all, you'd actually not want to strangle yourself to death every time you saw them. Sometimes, I feel like a terrible person, because I don't really like some of my family members, and I like their kids even less. But then, I remember why - it's because they decided to start coming around the rest of the family when their parents both died, or because they and other treat/treated their parents (and others) like shit, and have no sense of a world that exists outside of themselves. They're lucky my mother is the nicest woman on the planet, and that I'm loathe to put HER in an uncomfortable position by giving some of these assholes a piece of my mind.

Seacreature:

I have to second, third, fourth and fifth that: You are not a bad aunt. You have disgusting entitlebrats for a niece and nephew. How they turned out is not your fault, and you are within your rights to ignore them and have nothing to do with them.

Being born an only child, I was spared all of that dramatic shit. I would have been the worst fucking aunt on the planet because I would have smacked the brats across the face the first time they mouthed off to me.

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paragon schnitzophonic
As long as you send one. Better late than never and I think that if somebody cared about you enough to send you money, they'd like to know that you're enjoying using it for needed/wanted items.

I just feel tacky saying "Thanks for the money, I have no clue how I am going to spend it." I also believe that the present is what I buy with the money, not the money itself (weird, I know).

Thanks for the Hookers-n-Blow!

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mistress rotwang

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paragon schnitzophonic
As long as you send one. Better late than never and I think that if somebody cared about you enough to send you money, they'd like to know that you're enjoying using it for needed/wanted items.

I just feel tacky saying "Thanks for the money, I have no clue how I am going to spend it." I also believe that the present is what I buy with the money, not the money itself (weird, I know).

Just say "thank you for the generous gift. I will be putting it toward ______ " or "Thank you so much for your kind and generous gift. I have been saving toward ____ and this will help me toward that goal."

I can relate to that very well.I can't stand my family,especially my niece and nephew.I know it has more to do with their father,who is a complete prick/jackass.It's like living with the enemies,but like someone said,you don't choose your family.I shouldn't have been an orphan so I can't be bothered.The problem with that is they are family and a piece of them goes with you wherever you are,and I hate that.Life happens and all we can do is pray.

Another vote for 'not a bad aunt'. It sounds like you've made overtures for years, and these kids were too poorly raised to properly appreciate them. At this point, leave them in their cocoons of self-absorbed post-adolescent dithering. Check back in a few years if you feel like it, when hopefully they've had some time away from the influence of their parent(s).

One niece and one nephew seem to have turned out okay in my family. The rest are self-absorbed twats. DH and I quickly grew tired of being viewed as ATMs and gift machines...one kid actually had the gall to whine because he was "only" given twenty bucks by Grandma once...and we have found other ways to spend time with the two that were funny, intelligent, well-mannered kids. Surprise, surprise, those two are now successful adults that we still love to bits and dote on. The self-absorbed twats are still flailing around with drugs, dropping out of school, social failure, alcohol problems, and unplanned pregnancies. Point to this story? It's not your place to "save" all your siblings' kids from their own poor parenting. Sometimes it's just not possible. They may come around later. Or not at all. But declining to be a sap for them is not a sign of being a bad aunt.

Being an aunt or uncle isn't a job, so good or bad or mediocre isn't even relevant. Relationships are messy and change a lot, and I for one don't like being given a title as a relative and having to live up to anyone's expectations of that title. I don't get along with a group of my toxic relatives and soon I will be free of them, yay... but in the meantime they are making life hell. So the term good or bad aunt just don't apply - though former aunt or that aunt who changed her phone number, that sounds good.

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blondie
Being an aunt or uncle isn't a job, so good or bad or mediocre isn't even relevant.

Good point, blondie. Being a good person is one thing...but it's not like you're saddled with any obligations just because share a small amount of DNA. The only obligations are on the parent(s).

And I for one don't put up with things from family that I would not tolerate from strangers, friends, co-workers, etc.