#1755 -- Not wanting to stay at home...

Reading this rant made me remember what a former boss said to me at the place I worked part-time as a second job in 2003. The general sales manager was from Syria and close to 40. Even though he was very Westernnd very patriotic toward the USA due to being in this country since the age of 9, he still had the "arranged" type marriage to a much younger woman from the same part of the world. They had a toddler and an infant. The lady was very intelligent and spoke something like FOUR languages.

My boss was dismayed when he told me how his wife said she resented wasting her life away at home with the children. He told her and then me along with another co-worker how she had life so easy as well as how MANY women would "give their eye teeth" to have the same lifestyle. Sam did make excellent money. Of course, my young 19-year-old co-worker said that she wanted a man like Sam when she married!

I never got to know the man's wife except when she would call for him but I admired her for wanting more out of life than to change diapers, clean house, and play dumb games with a toddler. I also felt saddened that the lady's husband did not value having a wife who had her own mind and wanted to expand her mind even more. All I could think was how the wife's life was wasted once she married and had children due to the culture's dictates.

Eons ago, I worked with an Iranian woman who had high government jobs in her country before she had her two kids. She was forced to quit after the second kid was born due to MIL demanding that is what a "good wife" does. I met this lady while working at JC Penney. She had to sell cosmetics to vapid women to earn a little extra money. Due to not working in her profession for so long, she could not compete against applicants for similar positions in this country. Another wasted life and brains...

You know, I occasionally bitch about "having" to work at my job of 20+ years, but it's just grumbling. I realize how fortunate I am to have a job that challenges my mind.

Even if I won the lottery, I would do something outside the home. I would do SOMETHING that doesn't hinge on my husband or house. This is for emotional fulfillment too. If all I had to do was look after the house and clean it perfectly, I would hyper-focus on stuff like that. Although I love a clean house and I like cleaning my house, housework in the grand scheme of things is unimportant. It is a waste of a good mind. Same with raising the kinder and looking after them. It's mind-numbingly boring.

I want to have interests outside my husband and my home. It keeps me alive as a person that I have MY OWN THING.

I also work for financial reasons. Every man with a SAH wife I've ever known bitches about how she spends money. I think it's human nature to value what YOU want to buy more than another person. For example, I like to grow flowers and it's important for me to pay a little more for organic pest controls, rather than broad spectrum yard products that kill everything. (I feel strongly about not contributing to the environmental mess that we are in.) DH doesn't understand some of my purchases and you know what? He doesn't have to. I can make the decision because I'm paying.

Back to topic, the Moo in the original topic is crazy. I can see juggling one kid or maybe two, but YOU CAN'T HAVE IT ALL and you certainly can't have FOUR KIDS and expect it not to disrupt your life. WTH was she thinking?

The greatest benefit about being CF is not being interrupted all the time. That includes little things, such as when I am reading a book, or staying late at work to fix a problem, and it applies to big issues. I'd hate to leave a job that I loved and interrupt contributing to MY PENSION and MY retirement for some stupid crotch turd. Ugh.

I agree. I hate it when I'm having an adult conversation, and some brat keeps interrupting. Can't parents teach their lil' ones NOT to talk to adults while THEY are talking? It's not child abuse.

Some SAHM moos forget that if they man is the main breadwinner, you only spend what is in the spending limit. That means, NOT going over and beyond your means, to keep oneself from going into the poorhouse. However, I've seen this too many times to count.

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lab mom

Bell_Flower, you are absolutely right! When a woman does not work, the husband is going to monitor her spending more. The attitude is: "If you did not earn it, you don't have the right to spend it." A person has tp "pay the costs to be the boss". Women in these type of situations are truly dependents as if they are children. It is harder for these women to divorce because of financial insecurity.

The moo in the rant was from overseas. Too many of those women are almost forced to breed due to cultural dictates. These wives often do not get to choose when they are going to have sex or to say "no" to an amorous husband. Birth control is usually not available...and forget abortion access. In most of those kind of countries, it is expected for a woman to marry and breed.

Don't get me started about "arranged marriages"! Those bastards want all the advantages of their new country, i.e. a career and decent salary and housing and conveniences and whatever - but they want nothing to do with "the locals"! Oh no, we're not good enough for them! We're only good to mess around with while they're waiting for their "mail-order bride" to arrive.

Exactly, Medusa! I am sure Sam had PLENTY of Western girlfriends due to his salary and position until he got a young girl from "back home". I also knew this friend of my friend who goes to a local Hare Krishna temple. She was dumb as dirt going on how she can get any man she wants. What that means is that any guy will go with her because she will have sex with anything with a d*ck. Well, the East Indians would fondle her in the back of the temple or have sex with her at her apartment despite the prohibition on illicit sexual relations...yet they married "good Indian girls" while this ninny would be crying how she loved these guys. These foreigners knew this American girl was "easy". No way would they even think of touching an Indian girl lest they be slapped and ostracized from the community!

It is so easy for stay-at-home wives to spend their husbands' money and run up the charge cards when these women do not have to work and put in the "sweat equity" for a paycheque. A lot of these women think they are entitled and scream when the husband tries to put the kibosh on all of the spending. My feeling is:"If you did not earn it, it ain't yours...end of story." I am just waking up and still grouchy. I got to hear of my friend with the Thai wife who also makes "dents" at the local department stores to clothe her vain body. God, I need coffee...