Why are human babies so ugly?

I find SOME babies cute. Three month old and older babies look okay. I especially find it cute when babies are laughing, smiling, sleeping, or doing something funny. I like the rotundness/softness of babies and how confused they look. I also find it fascinating to watch them explore the world.

.....And yes, I find Winston Churchill to be absolutely adorable. He's like a human bulldog. XD

Meh. I think little kids can sometimes be cute. My niece is 2 is with blonde hair and blue eyes, she looks like a little angel (til her mouth opens), as did I at that age...unfortunately that gorgeous shade of pale golden blonde will darken like mine. But babies are not at all attractive to me. And I don't get people's obsession with babies hands and feet...they are chubby and formless and something about their fingers creeps me out. Somebody posted a pic of their newborn (thankfully they cleaned the flap snot and blood off the thing first) on their FB and I wanted to hurl. All the "ooh so beautiful/cute" comments. I just wanted to post "are you bitches blind? It looks like an angry red potato".

These are my kinda babies:

I think maybe people parrot the, "ALL baybees are kewt!" thing much like they do with the, "ALL inpig women are beautiful" one. I believe that it's an indoctrinated belief having to do with new life or something, but I really can't be certain. The fact remains that there are some women out there who were hiding behind the door when God passed out good looks and NOTHING can make them appear physically beautiful to a stranger or acquaintance. They may have that "glow" about them that people talk about, although I personally can't see it, but their fugly face gets in the way of any glow that they may have. It's the same way with baybees. RARELY is any newborn "beautiful" physically.

While I'll agree that physical beauty is less important than what's on the inside, that doesn't negate the fact that the vast majority of inpig women and newborn baybees are beat with an ugly stick- U-G-L-Y

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!

We are supposed to bond to them.

How this is expected to be possible I do not know.

OMG. I just thought of the perfect song for this thread:

"Ugly Baby" by Stephen Lynch

I remember that I've always found human babies profoundly ugly. I can recall back when I was around 10, and one of my mother's friends squeezed one out, proceeding to parade it around her friends' homes like a revolting trophy. All I saw was an ugly, bloated, pink slug. The only thing I found remotely interesting at the time (being 10, I guess) was how small its fingernails were. But otherwise, I found it an unsettling, subhuman-looking creature.

And about four years after that, I realized that I never wanted any of my own.

The worst is the completely newborns. The red, wrinkly, screaming things that look like a raw side of pork tenderloin. Truly nasty-looking things. Do not want.

I agree that animal babies are absolutely adorable. But human babies are the ugliest creatures on the planet and many parts of the Galaxy and universe. Newborns remind me of maggots, but nothing is as bad as when they scream! Then they look so hideous I run the other way.

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dreamwalker
Isn't it funny how primate babies in general are dependent on the mother for a much longer time? The only other large intelligent animals I can think of that keep their kids around for long time are like whales and elephants. I think I'd like to come back in the next life as something over than human. As a group, I'm sorry we just really suck. No other species behaves anywhere close to how we do. However, anything I'd like to come back as in said next life is either a whaling or poaching target.

Elephants are pregnant for like, two years though.
Oh God, could you imagine all the annoying fucking inpigs complaining for 2 FUCKING YEARS.

“I don’t have pet peeves, I have major, psychotic fucking hatreds.”
— George Carlin

I'll never forget that the FIRST bill Baby Bush signed into law took away millions in international funding that basically provided THIS to women in Turd world nations: a sterile plastic sheet, a razor, and a piece of string......all so she could shit out a loaf on something sterile other than the ground, cut the umbilical cord, and tie the cord off so neither baby nor moo bled to death.

In some ways, I identify with the cold-hearted approach: these are unwanted, doomed children whom their mothers cannot usually care for properly; if they survive until adulthood, the women will be raped and/or impregnated from 13 to 27 and then die prematurely; if they are male, they will be conscripted into bloody, pointless wars.

However.......the sheer calllousness of the Right never seems to confound me.....they don't want birth control, but at the same time, they really don't give a shit about what happens to a baby after it's born. It seems like most people with functioning frontal lobes would pick an EITHER/OR on one side of that equation.

I've been deeply embedded in working on my book, which keeps expanding and getting more in depth, and as part of it, I'm coming across loads of stories of the "WAAAHMBULANCE" type of birth control failure where some bint fucks without using birth control and ends up shocked that she gets pregnant....if you can't afford birth control, my dear, then you most CERTAINLY can't afford a kid......and so they desperately go online to look up herbal abortion methods.....and I'll bet when something goes wrong they are QUICK to blame the person who published the information....instead of realizing that they are, quite simply, too stupid to breed, too stupid to exist, and a waste of space.

Sigh. That's going to be a big piece of my book's audience, I'm afraid. BLEAH. I'm sure I"ll spend the rest of my publishing career having an assistant sift through "PLSE HLP ME I NEED ABORTION CANT AFFORD 2 BY YOUR BOOK PLSE HELP ASAP!" types of emails from the Stupid Contingent.

PS I think this post isn't so OBVIOUSLY about how unattractive babies are.....forgive the unintended ramble! I needed to vent. And I DID start out by agreeing with everyone about how useless babies are and how hopelessly ugly the human infant is. Honest!

The vast majority of baybees are grotesquely ugly and unappealing in every way. This might sound racist but I HAVE seen a few cute ones and very few of them were white. Most of the cutest babies are African-American or Indian.

The real reason human baybees look ugly is so humans will not over-breed and overpopulate the planet in the very end.

Too bad it didn't stop teen moos from sprogging, though. eyes2

I really have to try hard sometimes not to exclaim to people, "Gawd that's an ugly baby!" because most of them are. They aren't the cute little cherubs that everyone thinks they are. Most of them are just butt ugly. And people fawn and coo over them . . . they're either blind or just being nice. Ugh.

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Sorceress
I really have to try hard sometimes not to exclaim to people, "Gawd that's an ugly baby!" because most of them are. They aren't the cute little cherubs that everyone thinks they are. Most of them are just butt ugly. And people fawn and coo over them . . . they're either blind or just being nice. Ugh.

If I'm in a situation where I really have to say something (example--my tip may depend on it), I'll just say something like "oh what a cute little shirt" when what I really want to say is "DAMN that is one ugly baby!"

The ugliest, by far, babies I ever saw was a set of triplets that looked JUST like their heinously fugly mother, poor woman. She was painfully underweight and pasty pale, had orangish thin as paper hair that kind of split over her ears that stuck out noticeably, beak- like spindly nose, she had HUGE buck teeth and her eyes were set far apart, much like a rabbit, poor thing. She came into my business establishment after having dropped the little loaves and they were in a three seated crib-carriage type of mini van stroller and it was cold out, so she had a cover over them, at first. When she unveiled the little critters it was all I could muster not to gasp.

The father wasn't too bad looking and I was hoping for the best for the little loaves, but was SORELY disappointed.

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!

My kind of babies....






And what is cuter than a baby pug? SIX baby pugs.


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From a bottle cap message on a Magic Hat #9 beer: Condoms Prevent Minivans
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I want to pick up a bus full of unruly kids and feed them gummi bears and crack, then turn them loose in Hobby Lobby to ransack the place. They will all be wearing T shirts that say "You Could Have Prevented This."

Right now, I'd like to hug those pugs.

AWWWWWWWWWWW!!! Puggie wuggies!!!

Oh man, those pugs are gorgeous. I've been immediately infatuated with every single puppy I've ever seen, and how anyone can say a baby is cute in comparison I will never understand.

The above comparisons to larvae and maggots is pretty much how I feel about them. I had a niece who became very cute when she was about 7 months old, but only in photographs. In real-life she never stopped shrieking enough to look like anything other than a red turnip.

I used to work with another CF lady, and while I'm poker-faced, she couldn't keep the look of horror off her face whenever a baby came near her - including all the colleagues' obligatory baby-visiting sessions. For Christmas I bought her a pack of greetings cards, one of which had a picture of a duckling above the words 'your baby is ugly'. We laughed ourselves silly, but she left and I never found out if she was brave enough to use that card.

I also am one who likes baby animals more..
However, when something has been pickled for 9 months, I don't think it would look very good at all, no matter what.

two cents ¢¢

CERTIFIED HOSEHEAD!!!

people (especially women) do not give ONE DAMN about what they inflict on children and I defy anyone to prove me wrong

Dysfunctional relationships almost always have a child. The more dysfunctional, the more children.

The selfish wants of adults outweigh the needs of the child.

Some mistakes cannot be fixed, but some mistakes can be 'fixed'.

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. Leo J. Burke

Adoption agencies have strict criteria (usually). Breeders, whose combined IQ's would barely hit triple digits, have none.

"can you do a portrait of my baby?"

"no, all of them look the same to me. boiled potatoes."

eta: pugs. they all grow up to be trouble.

They are evil dogs...they will steal your heart right out of your chest.

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From a bottle cap message on a Magic Hat #9 beer: Condoms Prevent Minivans
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I want to pick up a bus full of unruly kids and feed them gummi bears and crack, then turn them loose in Hobby Lobby to ransack the place. They will all be wearing T shirts that say "You Could Have Prevented This."

I've seen exactly two good-looking babies and they grew into nice-looking kids too. The rest all have that warped head, squished face and Borg-like skin (mottled and discolored).

I also don't find chimpanzees cute, probably because they're the closest animal to us. In fact, I've seen a few people that really look like chimps. It's frightening. This doesn't explain why I'm so fond of gorillas, though. You'd think I would like them all.

Actually, now I come to think about it, it's not just the babies that are gross - it's toadlers too. They all seem to reach a stage where their jaw seems to grow out of proportion to the rest of their face, like frankenstein, and that horrible zombie-like shambling about, with their podgy little hands grasping at things - ugh.

Compare that to a young foal that is unsteady on their legs - cute. Puppies running around, with their legs splaying out in all directions and their heads too big for them - cute. Kittens whose faces and ears seem so large in comparison to their bodies - cute.

I think most human babies and many toadlers look like gray aliens.....which weirds me the fuck out. No way am I spending time near one of those!

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loavesstillsuck
I think most human babies and many toadlers look like gray aliens.....which weirds me the fuck out. No way am I spending time near one of those!

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“There are three things all wise men fear: the sea in storm, a night with no moon, and the anger of a gentle man.”