Ms. Goodman:
Normally, I enjoy your column as you are strong on reproductive rights and feminism. However, I felt your column of how women with children get "mommified" on the job was entitlement for these mothers.
With feminism, more choices became available for women. Each choice has a consequence. If a woman wants a child, her career may suffer if she chooses to spend more time with her family. A lot of moms do want "flex time", part-time, or to stay home for a few years. With any field, part-time or being out of the profession is going to hurt a person regardless of gender. In many professions, change is constant. A lot of men do not do the same when it comes to staying home, being tardy, or asking for part-time because they have to support their families: often a stay-at-home wife and kids.
As a childfree-by-choice woman, I have felt that my personal time was considered less valuable by female co-workers with children. I was often expected to work weekends, evenings, holidays, or extra shifts because I did not have kids. It was worse when I did not have a mate. The attitude was a childfree and single female co-worker should live at her work station as she could not have a life outside of the job due not reproducing. I no longer take this behaviour from co-workers with children. My personal time is very important.
I have also worked jobs where women with children felt entitled to leave early even if it was during a busy time in a small call center where the load of the calls fell onto me and a few others. They would call out on a drop of a dime due to a child's cold but would make a scene if they were asked to stay later if someone else had called off from work. I also heard the
"MY children are more important than this JOB"; yet, they cried of not having enough money.
Elinor Burkett wrote of this issue in her book,
The Baby Boon: How Family-Friendly America Cheats The Childless. Ms. Burkett was blasted on a few television shows and Amazon.Com's review page for daring to write of this issue. The fact is that most of of the time, women with kids make the choice to go on the "mommy track". Feminism was never meant about "having it all". That is impossible. No one can have everything! We make our choices in life and take the consequence that goes with each choice.
My stepbrother is a "Mr. Mom" right now. I am certain his career will be stalled if and when he returns to work but he made the choice to stay at home while his wife works. No one is going to be waiting for him to come back into his chosen field as too many people want and need jobs.