Rant #1848: Getting fined for swearing at brats

If anyone ever tried to do this to me, all I'd need to do is set up a tape recorder in my front window. We live near a school, and the sprogs who walk past here to get to it swear even worse than I do!

Their favorite word seems to be motherf**ker. If I had a nickel for every time I heard that word come out of some local sprog passing by, I could buy a nice-assed house in the boonies, and move out of this shithole!

I go outside and swear at the little turds all the time, when they are doing something to annoy me. I challenge anyone to bust me for it, when they swear worse than I do!

This morning, like any other morning, around 8, there's always 2-3 students from a highschool nearby who hide in the concrete garage entrance of an elderly's home to smoke, make out, etc. While hiding, I like to yell things like "Go to school stupid druggies" or "Get a room" (especially if they are 2 boys - not that there's anything wrong with being gay) just to mess with them. Then, still hiding, I look at their puzzled expression. They're standing up and trying very hard to find out who's yelling at them. Their clueless look is a reward in itself. They might not leave the premisses (spelling?), but I'm having a blast! It's hard to take their picture, but I try to, in order to send it to their principal. That'll teach the little punks to respect private property.

Mrs. Ogre...that is too funny!

It kills me that the mum was fined for using profanities while she had to endure hoodlums terrorizing her and her family.

I look forward to tomorrow morning!

If the government starting fining me for swearing at brats, I would be bankrupt!

Mrs. Ogre, tell us more about "tomorrow morning"...

CFBitchinLA, you are too funny...

Both of you...:yr

It was hard to yell at the kids this morning, because they were surveying the houses and they had brought other kids with them. I tried to take their pictures, but I was afraid I'd get caught. I'll just write to their principal.
There was a shooting in Montreal yesterday downtown. That gave me the idea of installing speakers with sounds of shooting to make them flee... Mhmm too much trouble.

Wow, what will happen to those of us with child-induced tourettes?

learn to swear in german, or dutch or another language.. then the kids will be too dumb to know.. and you can swear with impunity

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I just post the stories, for interest.. for everyone

Lord, what fools these mortals be!
- A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act III, Scene ii

Voltaire said: "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."

H.L.Mencken wrote:"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.”

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein

Italian is a great language to swear in, too. The illegals almost understand it, but not quite...

Fuck that shit. I will swear in my own goddamned american language and woe be unto the asshole parent who tries to sue my ass for expressing my fucking self freely. Anyway, unlike most sprogs these days, I try to keep my swearing out of mixed company, and will only use my sailor-like mouth around adults. If some kid happens to overhear, well...if that's the worst thing to happen to them, they should be goddamend happy.

I should apologize for the excessively blue language...it's just that when someone tells me NOT to swear, I kind of feel like I HAVE to, after all they're only words, and the last time I checked, they don't actually do any physical harm.

Fuckin' A, and well said, too.

Oh, pick me! I can help you with the swearing-in-German part...

Scheissenhausen, Du Arschloch, and just plain old Scheisse are good. Dirty words are fun!

Tokio, what's the german equivalent for "cocksucker"?

It was hilarious this morning when I was yelling at a young couple (always the same) who was making out. I yelled “I took your picture” and “Smile!” then ran to the other window to look at their clueless look. I have to send a letter to their principal, but I still can’t get a good picture of them. But seeing their expression is priceless. I leave the house in an extremely good mood.

I'm having the problem again with the neighborhood bastards riding their bikes down the hill through my yard and out into the street.

One kid - about 10 - stopped in front of my house and saw me at the mailbox, I had just gotten home from work. He had that "OH SHIT" look on his mug.

I knew he had just come through my yard so I went over to him and said, "How fucking stupid ARE your parents anyway? Haven't they taught you it's rude, destructive and disrespectful to ride through people's yards? Seriously, have they not told you that? Do you not KNOW that?" He stared blankly at me like he was on the verge of tears for insulting his PAHRUNTS.

My next comment was, "And how fucking stupid are YOU? I've asked you at least 15 times NOT to ride through my yard and you continue to do it. If I see you again, I'm calling the cops. And tell your parents if they have a problem with it to come see me."

This is what you get when I've had a shitty day at work and my blood sugar is low because I need to eat.

Sounds like he should consider himself lucky you didn't push him off his bike and threw it in the street. It's good to insult the parents, it makes him question their authority, and makes their job harder. HA!

we grow bushes with very sharp thorns on them, they soon stop riding in our gardens.. ..

i l0ove swearing at people in foreign languages.. it confuses them .. and if someone asks what does thta word mean, i say its completely different one, (as in the python sketch with the book when cleese says in a austrian accent if i said you had a beutiful body would you hold it against me ) yes i know i a evil

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I just post the stories, for interest.. for everyone

Lord, what fools these mortals be!
- A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act III, Scene ii

Voltaire said: "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."

H.L.Mencken wrote:"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.”

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein

English professor or not, I will swear up a blue streak whenever the mood strikes me.

I not only have to face the campus thought police with the speech codes, political correctness and other freedom-sucking machinations but also another idiotic law to pad the world for the generation of young brats who use more foul language in a single sentence than a Teamster would use in a lifetime.

In my best American vernacular, let me simply say FUCK THAT SHIT.

This professor is getting irritated with all of the limitations on free speech. Damnit.

Or, as I sometimes would like to say to our campus thought police, "Censor THIS".

My, what a few glasses of Friday afternoon Chardonnay will do for me!

About ten years ago, a group of young fellows were in a canoe or a raft going down the river and then tipped over. One of the young men used some profanities after that happened. Well...a cop was nearby...of all places...and so was that "sacred family". The young guy got a ticket for using foul language in front of a child. He did try to fight it but did not win.

This weekend, there were teenagers arguing and yelling in the backstreet, at the same place where students gather to make out (and at whom I like to yell profanities to start my day on a happy note). At one point, one of the teens was standing in balance on the concrete railing of the garage entrance. I thought I should let a huge yelp to make him fall, but on second thought, I resisted the urge, just in case I get prosecuted. That would have taught them a lesson. But then some woman threatened to call the police, and I heard them say “what for?” WTF, you’re on a private property, you idiot.
Now, I’m planning to yell insulting stuff at the brats every morning they are alone, but not when they’re in a group. I’m sure the guy told his friends all about it and they would want to witness it. But, they’ll think he’s a liar…I love messing with their feeble minds.

Again, acting crazy would probably be perceived as more of a threat than an actual threat, which is of course illegal and kids know that. I highly recommend special out door decor, which may consist of partially burnt dolls covered in catsup or chocolate sauce impaled on spikes surrounding your home. I also recommend your outdoor wear consist of a grubby clown outfit, holey overalls or a ratty bathrobe, top it off with a fetching tin foil hat, ski goggles and perhaps a stomach full of the adult beverage of your choice. My favorite gentle reminder to children is, while you are in your front yard wearing your special outfit, spend some time pounding nails into a baseball bat or two by four, while letting them know that if they keep reading your brain waves (or tresspassing) you will be forced to take drastic measures.

Or you could just save up a bunch of stale beer, shoot it at them and call the cops on them for underage drinking. One can't really argue with the cops when they reek of beer.

You are too d*mned funny, Feh!

Thinking about this, and ways to keep unwanted visitors from my doorstep and back yard, I think I am going to make this weekend's project a lovely Pentagram wreath. One for the front and back door.

After all, Mabon (fall equinox) arrives on Saturday and what better way to ring in the holiday with a traditional wreath?????

You know, Witchcraft, being so EEEEEVYL and all, the Pentagram is SURE to ward off unsuspecting folks.