Entry 1855-Who will Care for you when are old BS

I'm just a tad confused on where you're going with this. I too am an only child, raised by a single mother, who will be relocating to another state early next year due to my husband's job. I'm not sure if the implication is that someone in this kind of situation is somehow abandoning their parent(s), because that's how it reads to me. I'm just asking for a ittle clarification on this.

This question is as tired and old as the minds who actually believe having kids gives you security in your old age.

Every first Sunday of the month, me, SO and a group of friends take our pets to a few of the local nursing homes. You wouldn't believe how many elderly people are there, with no one to visit them. And they tell you right out too, "You young people are so nice to bring your pets out to see us, lord knows our own children never come to see us." And that people, is the honest truth.

Topaz, I don't see moving out-of-state as abandoning your mother. We do live in a more mobile society. Living in the same place for an entire lifetime hardly exists. You and your husband need to do what is best regarding jobs since so many became scarce after 9-11. It seems that the job market is going better but a move is often required to get ahead. Don't feel guilty!

i volunteer for an old peoples charity, i do admin etc.. but i too have heard of so many older parents in their 60's and 70 and even a few 90's being left alone by their kids, when all they want is 30 mins a week or more with people, the charity sends visitors out to peoples homes and makes sure they are ok, and fix some things if they need fixing, or even putting new lightbulbs in..

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Lord, what fools these mortals be!
- A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act III, Scene ii

Voltaire said: "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."

H.L.Mencken wrote:"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.”

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein

Topaz, I agree with India here. It IS okay to move to where the jobs are. And as long as you keep in touch with Mom, it is NOT abandonment.

What we complain about here are people who just shunt their elderly parents off into sub-standard nursing homes and such, and then can't even be arsed to ever call or write to them. Now THAT is abandoning them!

But it sounds to me like you love your mom, and will call and write to her, and maybe go to visit her every so often. Nothing wrong with that!

Catdaddy's elderly mother lives in Ohio, and we are in Massachusetts. Granted, his sister is still in Ohio, and will be the primary caretaker for MIL when she is unable to live on her own. But we would still help out financially if needed, as well as continue to call and send cards and such.

Just letting the elderly parents know that you still care means more to them than anything else. So, no, you are NOT abandoning your mom, Topaz!

I live 3000 miles away from my mom. It was hard for her when my ex-husband and I moved to Florida because she knew she would miss me very much. That was 14 years ago. I stayed here when that marriage ended. If something happened to my mother's health, I would be back in the Bay Area regardless if I had a "relationship" in my life...not that I really want one..."friends with benefits" is better and more emotionally healthy. Catmommy, I am glad you also responded because Topaz is not wrong to make this move.

I am the youngest of four. My father passed away so my mom is on her own. She is now almost 70 and has had the foresight to pay for long-term healthcare insurance should anything go wrong and she be forced into an assisted living situation.

My sister does not live very far from her at all (maybe 3 miles), but my mother does not feel as though her children need to be her nursemaid. This way she also gets to keep her assets to pass on to us, instead of her estate going to pay for her eldercare.

I bitch about my mom sometimes, but she is a very responsible person. Instead of all these grandmoos and grandduds buying plastic crap that ends up in the back of garage for their visiting grandsproggen, they should think about investing in one of these insurance policies. This way if the kids don't take an interest in caring for them, at least they can have a well paid nurse do it for them.