My cousin and her wonderful sense of humor

One of the few, sane members of my fucked-up family is my cousin Lori. She had a hysterectomy for severe PCOS when she was 15, and openly says she would have been childfree even if that had not happened. She works in the public school system as a guidance counselor, and she says it is the most entertaining job in the world because she gets to tell breeders just how stupid their brats really are.

DW and I had dinner with Lori tonight, and she told us a very funny story about Denton, a teen he-brat who thought he would just slip into college and medical school with the IQ of a dead flashlight battery. Denton went in for his required guidance counseling to talk to Lori about the requirements for college and medical school. Lori said she did not have a problem talking to him, until she picked up his folder and looked at his grades. He is averaging a D+/C- in every subject and is barely literate. He is a big time varsity athlete in football, and will probably letter this year, but his math skills are reported as being three grade levels behind and has been described variously as "lazy, rude and arrogant" by most of the teachers in the school. Add on top of this his clueless breeders telling him how spayshul he is and his popularity with classmates and you have a big, dumb jockboy who suddenly thinks he can parlay the ability to pass the football into being the next Albert Schweitzer. When Lori asked him if he really knew what kind of training was required to become a physician, the dimwit thought he only needed four years of college and maybe a year or two after that. He had not even bothered to do any research. Then Lori told him it takes eight years of formal education and many years of post-graduate training after that. The half-wit shrugged his shoulders and said that on TV, doctors get all of the girls and that's why he wants to be one. Real motivated son of a bitch, isn't he? Lori tried to gently persuade the kid that maybe he needs to temper his expectations, but the shithead got angry and called his parents. Next thing she knows, the breeders are down at the high school office talking to the principal about how Lori had insulted their low-IQ offspring by telling him he needs to do more research and get better grades. The principal replied that he can't change reality and that unless their son manages to pull off a miracle, it was highly unlikely he would even survive into the second semester because a 2.0 grade average is required for graduation. You just have to wonder how stupid this brat really is if he can't even manage a C-average in the climate of today's severely lowered academic standards.

Lori and the principal were still laughing about the situation when the breeders left. She added that she thinks they realize that their little boy is going to be wearing a paper hat very, very soon.

Reason #5725 why I do not eat at fast food restaurants: I have so little tolerance for the Dentons of the world, that I can't even deal with them in that capacity.

Denton sounds too dumb to even piece together the words: Would You Like Fries With That? It never ceases to amaze me as to how anyone could be as stupid as this kid, and still manage to function.

But good for Lori for telling Denton and his idiot breeders the truth, and good for the principal for backing her up.

Is Denton his real name? If it is, he is REALLY screwed...LOL!

Thanks for the laugh, Billy!

"the IQ of a dead flashlight battery"
My coffee almost went out trhough my nose as I read that and burst into laughter. Note to self: must reuse this expression.

I remember high school too well where many teachers coddled the football "stars" and the cheerleaders, whom we called rah-rahs. I hated how these guys sauntered around if they were some sort of gift to the girls. What got me more is how even the most counter-culture girls in school seemed to want these oafs.

Denton. Great. Now I have to watch Rocky Horror Picture Show tonight. Dammit, Janet!

NotQuiteSure Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Denton. Great. Now I have to watch Rocky Horror
> Picture Show tonight. Dammit, Janet!

LOL! I was thinking the same thing.

dont forget the semi sequal shock treatment .. denton the home of happiness (where the entire town gets locked up in a tv insane asylum.

http://imdb.com/title/tt0083067/

reality tv ??

*********************************************************************************************************************************
I just post the stories, for interest.. for everyone

Lord, what fools these mortals be!
- A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act III, Scene ii

Voltaire said: "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."

H.L.Mencken wrote:"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.”

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein

Denton is the brat's real name. He has other brothers named after cities in Texas: Austin and Dallas per Lori. I was hoping for maybe a Waxahachie, Wichita Falls and Humble.

Rocky Horror!!! What a GREAT flick! Richard O'Brien rules. And he was pretty hot in his younger days.

We have that movie in our collection, think we'll watch it tonight as well!

"Rocky Horror!!! What a GREAT flick! Richard O'Brien rules. And he was pretty hot in his younger days."

-----------------------

LOL. The first time I saw RH was when it was still a midnite movie deal around my town. I went with a friend who used to do the floor show that they had set up (balcony and all for the "There's a Light" scene). When we got there, a girl I went to high school with was playing Janet. My friend said that she always had a thing for him. Well, she saw us together (we really were just friends) and she started pawing all over him. She then said they were short a Riff for the night and asked if he would play the part. He obliged. However, he never told the girl that he and I weren't an actual thing. So I watched the show while he performed during the movie.

I gotta tell ya, they put the Riff wig on him and he looked. just. like. Riff/Richard O'Brien. It was freeeaakky.

The girl playing Janet, said former HS alum of mine, was hanging all over my friend during the performance. It was a riot because I was always the geeky one in high school, so she thought she was stealing a guy that I was finally able to get.

Actually, she was a nymphmaniac by her own admission. Hard to believe she was little miss cellist/prim&proper back in our HS days. My how people change. lolol

Sorry for the thread veer.

Denton? Well, it's no wonder he's a dumbass. Didn't they used to make overalls called Dr. Dentons? Kinda like Osh Kosh? Maybe they were PJ's, I don't remember...
I used to know this moron named Josh, who thought he was going to be a doctor, but he was in special ed. Where do these idiots get their inspiration from? I believe the saying "you can do anything you want, if you put your mind to it" is bullshit in the fullest sense. A person without any brains or sense is never going to be another Einstein, no matter what his moo tells him.

so if that girl is called dallas, and she makes a porn film, does that mean it will be called dallas does dallas

*********************************************************************************************************************************
I just post the stories, for interest.. for everyone

Lord, what fools these mortals be!
- A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act III, Scene ii

Voltaire said: "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."

H.L.Mencken wrote:"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.”

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein

Mrs. Ogre Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> "the IQ of a dead flashlight battery"
> My coffee almost went out trhough my nose as I
> read that and burst into laughter. Note to self:
> must reuse this expression.

My expression all these years has been "IQ of dead bacteria" and my eyes did a double-take when I saw "IQ of a dead".

One other guy I know likes the phrase "lower form of house plant" for describing folks like Denton.

Sounds too much like a place north of Dallas.

"Didn't they used to make overalls called Dr. Dentons?"

---------------

They're the foot pajamas that have the, ahem, "escape hatch" type of flap on the back.

The "Dentons" of the world are everywhere.

The scary thing is when you have to work with them. My company is horribly nepotistic so any idiot with the IQ of AT LEAST a dead flashlight battery gets hired just because he is someone's nephew, son, brother, etc.

india_darshan Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I remember high school too well where many
> teachers coddled the football "stars" and the
> cheerleaders, whom we called rah-rahs. I hated how
> these guys sauntered around if they were some sort
> of gift to the girls. What got me more is how even
> the most counter-culture girls in school seemed to
> want these oafs.


I'm in my 20's and I remember that bs so well. In 10 yrs. those are the loosers who won't be getting very far in life and they'll still be talking about how they made some touchdown.

Heh, Water Lilly, I'm well into my 30's and they ARE the losers who are still talking about that touchdown. And all the cheerleaders are hatchet faced, bitter, suburban moos.


"It truly is the one commonality that every designation of humans you can think of has, there's at least one asshole."
--Me

I also noticed that quite a few guys on my high school's football team were morons. Barely getting through the below average classes because they didn't give a damn about anything other than sports. One guy who was a bit of a dumbass went to college on a football scholarship...his major, I have no idea. This guy ended up dying in a car accident involving a drunk driver. I've probably told this story here before, so I'm not going to bother with it again. I haven't had coffee and I'm sick, so I'm not in a ranty/story-telling mood.

Add me to the list of those of us who can't stand it when parents will tell their widdle kiddums that they can do anything if they try. It's only detrimental when the parent gives the kid false hope - I know there are a lot of morons who manage to graduate a few years late who want to become doctors because the job pays well, and Moomie will fuel their interest by chanting "You can do anything, hunnie! You just do your best and you'll succeed!" Bullshit. What these parents need to do is make Junior aware of his strengths and weaknesses, and not coddle him and tell him he can do anything. I could very well try to become a lawyer because it allegedly pays well, but I have no interest in it and I don't know the first thing about law.

Have medical colleges lowered their stadards too? I cringe to think that the dumbass D- high school jock might be able to graduate one day with a Ph.D. and have other people's lives in his hands. For the love of all that's good, someone please hold me and tell me that medical colleges aren't being lenient like a lot of other schools.

"One guy who was a bit of a dumbass went to college on a football scholarship...his major, I have no idea. This guy ended up dying in a car accident involving a drunk driver. "

UGGHH! I have it farrrr worse than that....

We have a hometown football player as a county commissioner! The guy hurt himself during some NFL game, and he came back here and hooked up with some other weasel. The two of them have a stranglehold and the football player is an IDIOT! He has an ex wife that was all into drugs when they were married. I think he and her had three kids together. Well, now he's all about Mr. DrugPreventionProgram. He also just opened a big sports bar where they had NO PROBLEM letting my husband get drunk on Super Bowl sunday.

I don't get it. He thinks he's an expert on drugs because his family was torn apart by them. HELLO! If he had been PAYING ATTENTION to what was going on around him, then his wife might not have indulged to the point of it being an addiction.

Sorry for the rant. I'm not even going near my local paper today. Too much idiocy, too close to home.

Had dinner again with my cousin tonight. She told me that Denton's SAT scores were lower than whaleshit in the Marianas Trench and the local community college told him he would have to take remedial classes for two years just to catch up. So now, his moo and duhd are pissed off at the commnity college and threatening to take them to court. I don't think those two shitballs would stand a ghost of a chance. Rumor has it that even the most desperate shyster in town threw them out of his office.

I'll keep y'all updated!

BillyC Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
>...She told me that Denton's SAT scores were lower than
> whaleshit in the Marianas Trench...

Billy, you have such a wonderful way with words! :yr

Denton the Dumbass's moo and duhd should be EMBARASSED over having such a dumbass for a son, and look to themselves as to how he got that way. But NOOOOO...they have to blame Lori, the community college, and anyone else they can think of.

I weep for the future.

catmommy.. the future died a long time ago, just the burying to do. my parents would have taught me at home to catch up, instead of relying on the overworked education of the 1970's in the UK..

and they DID.. when i was a lot younger my comprehension skills werent high, but they never gave me time in class to get it into my head.. i was 5 years behind in my reading skills, and so on.. i wasnt getting the help i needed.. so dad and mum and brother, all helped, and i gained those 5 years and then some in 6 weeks, as theymade it fun and entertaining.. if they had left it to the education i would probably be more stupid than denton and the other dumb muscle bound freaks.. of course thier parents may be just as dumb.. so..

*********************************************************************************************************************************
I just post the stories, for interest.. for everyone

Lord, what fools these mortals be!
- A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act III, Scene ii

Voltaire said: "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities."

H.L.Mencken wrote:"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.”

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein

The parents of Denton sound all too familiar. I encounter sprog-hatchers of this type in the middle of every term, after every exam and at semester's end when students discover that I do not grade easily and I am not a "pushover" when it comes to their bullying.

I am proud to say that Spring semester of the past academic year, I gave more failing marks in my career than ever. I am proud to say this because my students were of such profoundly low quality that I seriously considered early retirement.

Pour Denton's parents. Don't they realize he is the one that will be picking their nursing home when they get old?? Or even worse, he will think he can take care of them. Sucks to be them in about 30 years.