Attachment sleeping? How about attachment *bathing*?

Never thought of this; wonder if it is a facet of attachment parenthood that has not yet reached the public notice? I think those who practice this probably realize that people would definitely give them the hairy eyeball about it.
(Caveat: acknowledge that there are some cultures where family bathing is nothing to bat an eye about, but that is separate from the "attachment" culture)

Q. Children: I am the mother of a 4-and-a-half-year-old son who is an only child. I read somewhere that I should stop taking baths with him when he turned 3 years old. I still take baths with him, he loves our bath time, and it does not feel weird to me. I think these things will naturally come to a halt when the time is right, but I would appreciate some advice here. I'm thinking America is so prudish and other cultures would think nothing of this, but I have been wanting to ask you this for a long time. P.S.—I love your column!

A: Some people are never comfortable with family nudity. Some (as I learned from a recent visit to a nudist camp for a story for Slate) are far, far too comfortable with it. Your tub time with your little boy has been a sweet and wonderful experience for both of you, but you're right that soon it will be time to pull the plug on it. The problem with leaving it open-ended about when it "naturally" stops is that it puts the burden on your son to display his discomfort. It's possible that as he turns 5 he'll start to feel uncomfortable but not want to hurt your feelings by saying so. I think it's time for you to start getting out of the tub. Instead of making every bath a joint cleaning session, start supervising him in the tub solo most of the time now. Then soon, if he asks why you no longer join him, you can explain that he's a big boy now, so he can take a bath alone, and it's getting too crowded for the two of you.

What the fuck?!?

Pervert. :crz

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Medusa
What the fuck?!?

Pervert. :crz

This. What a pedo!

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lab mom

What with women fucking their husbands while their kids are sleeping in the same bed, to letting their udders flap in the breeze, to some woman breastfeeding her dad, why in the hell should this surprise me?

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herbalgeek
What with women fucking their husbands while their kids are sleeping in the same bed, to letting their udders flap in the breeze, to some woman breastfeeding her dad, why in the hell should this surprise me?

This.

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lab mom

When I was a little kid, bath time was time for me to play with toys and swim around. I'd have been mortified to have my big, fat mama in the tub as well, crowding me out!

The pedophile angle is bad enough, and obvious. But what's just as bad is that she's teaching Bratford that someone will always be there to do everything for him and with him. I thought a parent was supposed to teach a kid to do things for him/herself? Does she wipe his ass when he poddies, too? Will she ever teach him how to do it? This goes a long way to explaining why so few toilets in public restrooms are ever flushed. Obviously Bratford doesn't know what that little handle is for, because Moomy inspects his poops before she flushes it for him. After all, that handle has germs on it that Bratford can't be allowed to touch lest he contract cholera.

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Sorceress
The pedophile angle is bad enough, and obvious. But what's just as bad is that she's teaching Bratford that someone will always be there to do everything for him and with him. I thought a parent was supposed to teach a kid to do things for him/herself? Does she wipe his ass when he poddies, too? Will she ever teach him how to do it? This goes a long way to explaining why so few toilets in public restrooms are ever flushed. Obviously Bratford doesn't know what that little handle is for, because Moomy inspects his poops before she flushes it for him. After all, that handle has germs on it that Bratford can't be allowed to touch lest he contract cholera.

UGH! People who can't "play alone" get on my last nerve and zap my energy! I hadn't really given it much thought until now, but there are a LOT of adults who always want someone to accompany them somewhere, BE with them during every real and imagined "crisis" no matter how small or trivial, go shopping "together", go to the restroom "together"(women are NOTORIOUS for that shit too and I HATE it) and some can't even watch a TV show unless it's watched, "together". All of my prior husbands have suffered from the "can't play alone" syndrome to varying degrees including refusal to go out and eat unless I go along, insisting that I accompany them to a doctor's appointment(nothing serious), hold their fucking hands while they get stitches, go to bed when they want to go to bed, or any number of other similar bullshit.:crz

My mother is like that as well in that she wants me to "participate" with her in things which I have no interest or NEED to do so. When I stayed at her house last year to help her when she was seriously ill and then later recovering, she wouldn't do her PT exercises unless I was sitting RIGHT THERE reading them off to her and telling her how many she had done, etc.....which was RIDICULOUS. She did the same thing with organizing her pills, menu-meals, even down to getting dressed which she needed NO help, but insisted that I be present at everything from her port -o- potty shitting experiences to taking her medications. "Yes mother, it's the dark red pill now and the pink one later......" IT WAS MADDENING and I haven't been back since because NOW she is on home dialysis every 2-4 hours. I am certain that she will want me present during each and every exchange and I just can't bear that. As it is, she calls me and walks me through enough of it to the point that I could probably do it myself, should the need ever arise.

I have had co-workers who couldn't do ANYTHING without an audience, approving nods, or pats on the back either. I don't understand this overhwhelming need for the hand holding unless they had it done for them in childhood. It is a VERY unattractive trait, IMO. I don't WANT someone by my side for each and every little thing, so I guess that I just don't "get it".

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!

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kidlesskim
UGH! People who can't "play alone" get on my last nerve and zap my energy! I hadn't really given it much thought until now, but there are a LOT of adults who always want someone to accompany them somewhere, BE with them during every real and imagined "crisis" no matter how small or trivial, go shopping "together", go to the restroom "together"(women are NOTORIOUS for that shit too and I HATE it) and some can't even watch a TV show unless it's watched, "together". All of my prior husbands have suffered from the "can't play alone" syndrome to varying degrees including refusal to go out and eat unless I go along, insisting that I accompany them to a doctor's appointment(nothing serious), hold their fucking hands while they get stitches, go to bed when they want to go to bed, or any number of other similar bullshit.:crz

I agree with you there, mainly because I'm quite the opposite. I like doing things on my own. I need my alone time to just decompress from all the pressure of being around people. I've had to deal with people like that in the past and it's really annoying and in fact, they treat you like something is wrong with you because you like your alone time or to just do things on your own. I have people in my family who are like that and were always giving me a bad time because I like to do things on my own, or would try push me to be the one they needed to go with them when they needed to do some trivial thing. I've been dragged shopping many times in my life and all I did was just walk around or stand there doing nothing. Been dragged to parties as well where I did the same sort of thing because I didn't fit in with these people, I didn't belong, and just wanted to not be there.

I wonder if this "can't play alone" syndrome is the reason I see so many people who are constantly attached to mobile phones, who constantly text all day long, etc. They just can't be alone, and technology gives them the ability to be connected, or not be alone, all the time. If I was constantly getting phone calls, texts, etc. all the time it would drive me insane. I can't live if I don't have my downtime or my alone time. If I had people all around every minute of the day, I'd go crazy.

JD

Would they be so supportive if it was a father bathing with his daughter?

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Miss_Hannigan
Would they be so supportive if it was a father bathing with his daughter?

I hesitate to mention this because it STILL makes me sick even though it was over 15 years ago. My ex husband used to put his daughter in the shower with him to take a bath while he showered. I didn't like it in the very beginning when she was 2-3, but when it continued until she was 5-6 years old, I had enough! I just told him that she was TOO fucking old and it just wasn't right. Then, in line with his USUAL tactic, he claimed that I was "sick" and that there was NOTHING wrong with it and that SHE would tell him that she didn't want to bathe with duddy anymore when the time was right. I told him that she shouldn't HAVE to tell him anything!

Well, although his excuse for it was that he ONLY did it when he was in a "hurry" because we had somewhere to be at a certain time, I couldn't help but notice that it always seemed to occur right after we had an argument, which was frequently there towards the end of this "shower with daddy" series. He would say, "Come on little girl, let's you and daddy go get clean so we can go to, wherever....." and then go fucking hop in the tub with her. When reasoning wouldn't work and I began to actually get creeping skin about it, I tried shaming him by talking to his mother about it. I simply asked, "Marilyn, did you and Ben let your kids take showers with you". Of course I had already known the answer which was, "HEAVENS NO!Why do you ask". I told her what her son had been doing and ALL about his alleged excuses for it.

After I tattled on him to his mother, it NEVER happened again. By this point, she was nearly EIGHT YEARS old! I honestly think that he did it for two reasons. 1)Out of laziness, and 2)As a tactic to piss me off. It never occured to him that at best, it was just unhealthy for her. However, I shouldn't have been surpised because like MOST all breeders, he didn't really give a shit about what was best for his child anyway. It was ALL about HIM. Just ANOTHER reason to hate breeder- parents.

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!

Moos who claim there's nothing wrong with being naked in water with kyds (who are old enough to be AWARE) and that THE SOCIETY is "prudish" are the same ones who claim tits aren't "sexual" and continue to nurse until their kyds' puberty and beyond.

Hmm...

I never had anyone actually sit in the tub with me, but I think I was bathed until I was about 6 and people felt the need to supervise my showers until I was about 11...my grandmother was paranoid and believed I'd drown in a few inches of water and would start knocking on the door about five minutes in to make sure I was okay. Ooooo, I hated that...shower time was relaxing time for me as well as time to bathe, and I hated having someone knocking on the door every few minutes.

Moos know no shame...they'll sit naked in the tub with their equally naked kids, tit-feed when they aren't even lactating, and make the kids watch Moo give birth. There is no reason for a mother to be in the tub with her kid...why the fuck would you want to be? Kids are notorious for pissing in large containers of water (pools and tubs), so why would you want to sit in a tub of water and urine (if it's warm water, that'll augment the piss odor too)?

Will there also be attachment shitting? Where Moo sits on the toilet with her legs apart and puts Junior between them so he can take a crap with Moo pressed up against him? Kinds only need supervision up to a certain age, but they don't need someone diving into the tub with them like it's Loch Ness. If you want to show your kid you love him, give him a hug - incestuous bath time is not necessary to express that you wuv Junior.

WTF???:hs
I never, ever saw EITHER of my parents naked as a kid!
From the time I was old enough to remember, I have never even seen my mother without a shirt, never mind sat in a damn tub NAKED with her!!!
This is a really great way to fuck up your kid fast and hard, better call the child psychologist now and get a prescription on standby, cause trust me, junior is gonna need it!:crz

That pic that zatoth posted above looks like the typical fundie breeder. WHY do all of those women always look so pasty and pale like they have never seen the light of day? They ALL have that cult-like sunken eye look too. Don't these women get adequate nutrition? Sometimes I wonder if they don't perpetuate malnutrition like with mind control camps like the Jim Jones case where they give them a basic starch only diet to make them more compliant and therefore susceptible to manipulation.

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!

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kidlesskim
That pic that zatoth posted above looks like the typical fundie breeder. WHY do all of those women always look so pasty and pale like they have never seen the light of day? They ALL have that cult-like sunken eye look too. Don't these women get adequate nutrition? Sometimes I wonder if they don't perpetuate malnutrition like with mind control camps like the Jim Jones case where they give them a basic starch only diet to make them more compliant and therefore susceptible to manipulation.

she's a pedophile-the kid in the photo is the father of the baby.

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zatoth

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kidlesskim
That pic that zatoth posted above looks like the typical fundie breeder. WHY do all of those women always look so pasty and pale like they have never seen the light of day? They ALL have that cult-like sunken eye look too. Don't these women get adequate nutrition? Sometimes I wonder if they don't perpetuate malnutrition like with mind control camps like the Jim Jones case where they give them a basic starch only diet to make them more compliant and therefore susceptible to manipulation.

she's a pedophile-the kid in the photo is the father of the baby.

AWW God! That's even worse. How OLD is that boy(the daddy)?

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!

Fundy women don't wear black jeans or sleeveless anything.

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kidlesskim

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zatoth

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kidlesskim
That pic that zatoth posted above looks like the typical fundie breeder. WHY do all of those women always look so pasty and pale like they have never seen the light of day? They ALL have that cult-like sunken eye look too. Don't these women get adequate nutrition? Sometimes I wonder if they don't perpetuate malnutrition like with mind control camps like the Jim Jones case where they give them a basic starch only diet to make them more compliant and therefore susceptible to manipulation.

she's a pedophile-the kid in the photo is the father of the baby.

AWW God! That's even worse. How OLD is that boy(the daddy)?

13 at the time

Naw that 15 year old girl's a little whore. The 13 year old boy wasn't the father.

It was this kid (14 years old)



http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article2435283.ece

Oh for crying out loud! How many boys DID she sleep with anyway? That girl LOOKS at least 20 years old and the boys look like 7th graders, which I suppose that they were at the time! So, I guess this is just another case of teen pregnancy and a "who da daddy" game. It's hysterical that the moo of the slut claims that her wittle girl was a "virgin" before she met this Alfie kid. This is shameful and the little bitch(and the boy too) look so PROOOWWDD and puffed out like a peacock. This kinda shit makes me sick.

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!

I'd love to know if the teen-slut-Moo looked that horrible before calving too, or if she turned into a total weird zombie butterface creature after spawning. Yeesh - I'm 23 and I've been mistaken many times for 15 or 16...gack, that story made me so sick. The teen-Moo looks old enough to be the "father's" mother, I think due to Moo looking super-old and the kid looking a lot younger than 13. Blech.

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kidlesskim
Oh for crying out loud! How many boys DID she sleep with anyway? That girl LOOKS at least 20 years old and the boys look like 7th graders, which I suppose that they were at the time! So, I guess this is just another case of teen pregnancy and a "who da daddy" game. It's hysterical that the moo of the slut claims that her wittle girl was a "virgin" before she met this Alfie kid. This is shameful and the little bitch(and the boy too) look so PROOOWWDD and puffed out like a peacock. This kinda shit makes me sick.

It's sick, but I can't help but laugh a little. The girl sounds like the town pump, though her mum insists that nothing could have happened because of the size of her bedroom and narrowness of the bed. Errrr .. lady .. ya never heard of kids being conceived in the back seat of a car?

And that poor Alfie. Honestly. He talks about "being good" as in "I guess if I'm good, and promise to take care of the baby, Mum won't force me to eat brussell sprouts." His disappointment at not being the father sounds genuine, but in more like a "waaah. I don't get to have a baby sister after all!" way.

And the rest of those boys ... "Locals heard his gleeful brother Jake, 17, running up and down the street outside their council house after Maisie was born. He was yelling: "My brother's sh***** Chantelle. He could be the dad."

Is that the modern version of "Alfie and Chantelle, sitting in a tree - K.I.S.S.I.N.G" changed to "F.U.C.K.I.N.G"?

Maybe the Mayan prophecies of 2012 ought to be true. The human race -- we are doomed.

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Dorisan

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kidlesskim
Oh for crying out loud! How many boys DID she sleep with anyway? That girl LOOKS at least 20 years old and the boys look like 7th graders, which I suppose that they were at the time! So, I guess this is just another case of teen pregnancy and a "who da daddy" game. It's hysterical that the moo of the slut claims that her wittle girl was a "virgin" before she met this Alfie kid. This is shameful and the little bitch(and the boy too) look so PROOOWWDD and puffed out like a peacock. This kinda shit makes me sick.

It's sick, but I can't help but laugh a little. The girl sounds like the town pump, though her mum insists that nothing could have happened because of the size of her bedroom and narrowness of the bed. Errrr .. lady .. ya never heard of kids being conceived in the back seat of a car?

And that poor Alfie. Honestly. He talks about "being good" as in "I guess if I'm good, and promise to take care of the baby, Mum won't force me to eat brussell sprouts."

And the rest of those boys ... "Locals heard his gleeful brother Jake, 17, running up and down the street outside their council house after Maisie was born. He was yelling: "My brother's sh***** Chantelle. He could be the dad."

Is that the modern version of "Alfie and Chantelle, sitting in a tree - K.I.S.S.I.N.G" changed to "F.U.C.K.I.N.G"?

Maybe the Mayan prophecies of 2012 ought to be true. The human race -- we are doomed.

larious I hate to sound like the old fashioned fart that I am, but when I was that age and a girl got knocked up, which by the way was quite rare in comparison to now, there were 3 options. 1)Abortion 2)Go away to an unwed moo school and give it up for adoption or 3)Get married It was NOT ALLOWED to come to school "showing" and NO ONE openly talked about whatever option that they had chosen either, that is if the pregnancy was ever known about in the first place. That might be sexist and out dated, but at least we didn't have mooternity cheerleader outfits, belly photo ops at the prom, and a day care center at the high school. MISTAKES weren't glorified like they are now and flashed about to taint the underclassmen. Now, there is NO incentive to not get knocked up in high school because it's "cool": and you can still make homecoming court if you are 8 months INpig and the PTA will throw you a fucking baybee shower.

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!