Daddy Fever

I thought you'd find this article about men who desperately want to be fathers amusing (read: disgusting ). Hopefully no one has posted this one yet. Clicky-click for the full article - but I commented on a couple of things below:

Does your Date have Daddy Fever?

Last August, Paul Bavineau, 41, was walking with his girlfriend when they saw two boys playing in the street. "They were skater kids wearing baggy pants with their underwear hanging out," he says. At the sight, Bavineau's paternal instinct kicked in — he couldn't wait to be a dad and goof around with his own kids.

"But my girlfriend started criticizing their behavior and clothes, and her attitude really turned me off," he says. "I knew then that the relationship wasn't going to work."

What the hell, Paul? Seriously? You dumped a woman because she criticized some skater kids with exposed underwear? I'm trying to figure out what Paul expected her to say: "Look at those two lovely young lads of indeterminate age, darling - their jaunty skating reminds me of the unburdened flight of a joyous, newly-born butterfly - and just look at their exposed underclothes flapping so carelessly as they are caressed by the warm spring breeze."

Give me a fucking break. Paul's girlfriend dodged a daisy of a bullet.

Bavineau broke things off and signed up for an online dating site, which allowed him to specify what he wanted. "My priority was children," he says. "In fact, my profile stated, 'Please don't contact me if you don't want kids.'"

I'm sure even the women who want kids could smell Paul's manly desperation and moved on to the next ad.
I think childfree people who use online dating sites should start contacting people like Paul for giggles even though his profile states not to bother contacting him if you don't want kids. You know, to give wanna-breeders a taste of their own medicine for contacting those who state on their profiles that they do NOT want kids and choosing to ignore that and start doling out "why-u-dun-wanna-have-kids" sermons.

Bavineau met his current girlfriend online, and barely a month into the relationship he broached the topic of children. "Obviously, it was early," he says. "But before we got serious, I had to know that we were on the same page about starting a family."

Wow, Paul is a really winning personality. I know nothing turns me on more than someone clamoring for my uterus one whole month into the relationship.

The stereotype of the baby-obsessed woman is a familiar trope: She frets about her biological clock, melts when she sees strollers on the street, and "forgets" to take her birth-control pills. But a growing number of men are finding themselves in a similar position. They're on the hunt for a future baby-mama or pressuring their partners to have kids — and according to data published in the journal Contraception, there's even a small subset of men who secretly remove their condoms during sex or replace birth-control pills with baby aspirin.

*eye twitches* Ass....holes.....
This "small subset" of men needs to go skydiving with a small anvil in lieu of a parachute.

"Reproductive coercion by men is a lot more frequent than we ever could have guessed," says study coauthor Rebecca Levenson of The Family Violence Prevention Fund. While some men tamper with birth control as a form of domestic violence — keeping their women pregnant and vulnerable — other men put the pressure on because they want their wives to slow down and start a family.

Right, because it's always a great idea to use underhanded, deceptive tactics in order to bring another human being into the world. But they just wanna be a daaaaddeeeee!

I've got no problem with men who want kids in theory (I don't want to be in a relationship with one, but I'm sure there are men out there who do want to be fathers), but this is disheartening even as I find it to be not all that surprising.

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"The secret of dealing successfully with a child is not to be its parent." -- Mel Lazarus
"Women who miscalculate are called mothers." -- Abigail Van Buren
"Better to be deprived of food for three days, than tea for one." -- Chinese proverb

This asshole sounds exactly like all of the countless scheming moos we've read about: He doesn't really want a relationship, just a...I guess sperm *incubator* (as opposed to the moos who want a sperm donor), and a woman to use his money to raise his worthless spawn. Oh, how the world is going to shit.

The only difference between wannamoo rabies and wannaduh rabies is women are more vocal about it. This guy is just being honest. It has been my experience that almost all guys eventually want to breed, even if they come to regret it later.

At the sight, Bavineau's paternal instinct kicked in — he couldn't wait to be a dad and goof around with his own kids.

Oh yeah, to this class-A dickwad, it's all about playing with kids while moo does all the cuntwork. Every last one of these douche canoes, TO A MAN, thinks that having shits is aaaallll about the Kodak moments. They don't have a single fucking clue.

So yes, jumping out of an airplane with an anvil, or, rather, a large piano, is exactly what these manipulative overgrown brats need.

Fallo also has a 5-year-old niece, and he travels to Boston just to see her. For her last birthday, he baked a cake in the shape of Hello Kitty. The project took 12 hours and cost Fallo $200 in materials, but the effort didn't faze him.

Anyone this stupid and bad with money should not be a father. Save that money for her college fund, you fucking goon.

There are way more baby-obsessed men out there than anyone knows. One ex of mine was completely desperate to be a father. He blithely ignored the fact that I was dealing with terribly serious mental issues at the time, was much too young and absolutely NOT maternal. My shaky but burgeoning self-esteem threatened him most of all; every time I'd mention my hopes and dreams for the future, he would bring up having kids. Eventually he insisted on not using birth control. I told him there was NO WAY that was happening. At first he tried to gently convince me. When that did not work, he became angry and called me "unnatural" (among many other names). That was the final straw. Got my self-esteem and got the hell out. Obviously this guy was perfectly capable of sabotaging birth control, as well as becoming even more abusive.

The thing that frightens me most about having a baby is that it ties you to whoever you bred with-- forever. You get a living, breathing, expensive reminder of a terrible relationship.
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blondie
The only difference between wannamoo rabies and wannaduh rabies is women are more vocal about it. This guy is just being honest. It has been my experience that almost all guys eventually want to breed, even if they come to regret it later.

I am glad that it is an almost all guys thing. I am a proud male non-participant of such abuse.

It's no secret that most of child bearing falls on a woman. It is a very old dirty trick that some men (using the term very loosely) use kids and pregnancy to keep a woman from becoming independent. That way he can do whatever he wants with less chance of being booted. Or, so they think.

And what would Paul Bavineau do if he sired girls? Post natal abortion, l'il sizzlers?

Teenage skater boys do NOT want to "goof around" with their dads. They want to be with their friends. To most teenagers, dads are nothing more than ATMs and rides to their friends' houses, malls, etc.

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gymrat
Teenage skater boys do NOT want to "goof around" with their dads. They want to be with their friends. To most teenagers, dads are nothing more than ATMs and rides to their friends' houses, malls, etc.

Or they just scream "I HATE YOU, YOU'RE RUINING MY LIFE!!!!!!" at them.

Thankfully, DF does NOT want to breed. I'm/was very open about being CF and told him if he changes his mind, he'll have to divorce me and find a brood mare. Luckily, he loves my tubal. Otherwise, I wouldn't have started dating him.

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What is a home without children? Quiet. ~Henny Youngman

I don't want people who want to dance, I want people who have to dance. ~George Balanchine

"I took the batteries out of my biological clock and put them in my vibrator"

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nautilus
At first he tried to gently convince me. When that did not work, he became angry and called me "unnatural" (among many other names). That was the final straw. Got my self-esteem and got the hell out. Obviously this guy was perfectly capable of sabotaging birth control, as well as becoming even more abusive.

Good on you for having the strength to get out. My ex sounds exactly like yours. Called me the same names, too. I AM NOT SORRY I left his ass and miss him not one iota.

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The thing that frightens me most about having a baby is that it ties you to whoever you bred with-- forever. You get a living, breathing, expensive reminder of a terrible relationship.

THIS.

What is it about wannaduhs that just creep me the fuck out? I don't have a problem whatsoever with men expressing their needs and feelings - quite the opposite, I wish they'd do it more. But there is something so fundamentally WRONG about a guy going all baby rabid - not just wanting a baby but being RABID. Maybe because I know they're clueless about what they're in for, that their expectations will be that they get to play with the baybee and Moo gets to do all the shit work, and most of all that it stems from a place inside them that's filled with the desire to snub their mares high and close to the post, which is what I *REALLY* think it is considering that men who express inordinate interest in having children know absolutely nothing about kids in general, and don't spend any of the time or energy around them or learning about them - they show little interest in actual children.

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Nautilus
My shaky but burgeoning self-esteem threatened him most of all; every time I'd mention my hopes and dreams for the future, he would bring up having kids.

What an apt description. The one I was with (many years ago in my 20's) used to bring up his need for baybees and use it like a club to blugeon me.

When I was looking forward to graduating from college and starting a career....don't enjoy it too much....remember I want baybees. It was really creepy. It would really suck to be in your 20's and having the Baybee Thing hanging over your future like a Cloud of Doom. Don't enjoy your freedom too much...you must spawn eventually.

This creep also TOLD HIS MOTHER that he was going to poke holes in my diaphragm. That was the last straw. It also bears mentioning that he was educated, nice-looking, great job, 9 years older, and would have been considered a catch by many women.

Whenever I look back on the mistakes I've made (and I've made a few) I need to remember I dumped this creep, even though I had very shaky self-esteem and was living in a bad family situation.

Yay me! and Yay Nautilus!

Guys like this want a pal to play catch with and crack open a first beer. They almost never want a daughter. Unless they're a Chester Molester who wants to breed their own private stock.

Excuse me, I have to go take a shower just from typing that ickiness.

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"[GFG's pregnancy is] kind of like at the stables where that one dumb, ugly-ass mare broke out of her corral one day and got herself screwed by the equally fugly colt that was due to be gelded the same afternoon."- Shiny

My ex fits this bill, as well. We would always use a condom and spermicide during sex, but once, the condom did split open. I don't know if it was my natural freak-out reaction that did it, but my period ended up being late, something that's unusual for me. This was about a year into our relationship. I told him, and informed him that I was going to my doc to get checked as soon as possible.

Well, he got this wholly pathetic, goofy, nearly lovestruck look on his face. He proceeded to coo "Awww, just think about having a little bundle in your arms..." in a completely moronic voice. Holding his arms like a cradle in front of his chest (you know that stupid moo motion).

My insides went completely cold with sheer disgust. This "man" knew very well what I thought about breeding, and knew that I was freaked out. And the worst part is, that stupid sappy grimace of his was genuine. I honestly got so angry that I told him to go fuck himself.

Well, in the end, turns out nothing was stewing in my uterus, I got my period a few days after. Actually found out some good news during this whole thing when I went to my gyno to make *sure* (yes, that paranoid) that I was devoid on any fetal infestation—my cervix sits so far back that it would actually be very hard for me to conceive, which is fantastic news. Don't get me wrong though, these days, I am religiously on the pill and with an *actual* man who doesn't feel any need to breed, either. Not one sign of any desire to infect my eggs with seed during our ten years together. We are both planning on getting fixed this year, too... woo!

My ex? Well, not long after that, we broke up due to unrelated reasons.

Looking back though, man... I am so happy we didn't work out, I can't even begin to tell you.

Okay, who is starting this story that you can just replace a birth control pill with a baby aspirin? Those things are in foil packaging. You'd have to pull a Tylenol Cyanide type deal, with carefully using a razor blade to peel back the backing of the packet, and then..... um, so I've watched one too many crime dramas.

My point is, I don't see this scenario happening. If I saw my bcp packaging all fumbled, I'd be calling the pharmacy. Most men don't even understand the principal behind all the different colored pills with days of the week listed on them. Like they're gonna pull off a stunt like I listed above.

Sounds like a typical, "I want Penis Jr." wanna-Duh. I agree - he's looking for a son that he can spend 20 minutes with every Sunday and beam with fatherly pride if that son grows up a heterosexual manly masculine boy who likes boobies and fast cars and beer. But if the kid comes out a girl, not his problem. It'd be Moo's mistake, and then he'd be bitching to "try again" about a year later for the "right" gender.

Anyone who gets this starry-eyed over kids obviously hasn't a fucking clue what child care entails. And for men, that almost makes sense since it has been established across society that women do the cunt work and men don't lift a finger as far as child care.

This asshole doesn't even seem to be looking for a mate who he can enjoy a few years alone with before wrecking his and her life. He wants to jump right in the sack and get working on his progeny because the world is obviously a horrible place without more of his DNA wandering around.

And you know he isn't interested in a single Moo - he doesn't want damaged goods and some other man's bastards. He wants his dick to be the one that impregnates her with his future child and not having to worry about the sub-human half-children banging on the bedroom door while he's busy with Mommy making a REAL child. eyes2

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the noodler
Okay, who is starting this story that you can just replace a birth control pill with a baby aspirin? Those things are in foil packaging. You'd have to pull a Tylenol Cyanide type deal, with carefully using a razor blade to peel back the backing of the packet, and then..... um, so I've watched one too many crime dramas.

My point is, I don't see this scenario happening. If I saw my bcp packaging all fumbled, I'd be calling the pharmacy. Most men don't even understand the principal behind all the different colored pills with days of the week listed on them. Like they're gonna pull off a stunt like I listed above.

I could imagine it if a woman didn't know the guy was a baby-rabid control freak, or was in denial about it. She might ask him to bring her the pill (like I sometimes ask my SO to bring me one of my daily medicines) and so he wouldn't have to mess with the packaging. When I was taking BC it didn't look remotely like aspirin, however, so it would be some work to replace it, although it didn't have different pills for different days (you just didn't take any pills for a week).

So I rate it as possible but a rather long shot.

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the noodler
Okay, who is starting this story that you can just replace a birth control pill with a baby aspirin? Those things are in foil packaging. You'd have to pull a Tylenol Cyanide type deal, with carefully using a razor blade to peel back the backing of the packet, and then..... um, so I've watched one too many crime dramas.

My point is, I don't see this scenario happening. If I saw my bcp packaging all fumbled, I'd be calling the pharmacy. Most men don't even understand the principal behind all the different colored pills with days of the week listed on them. Like they're gonna pull off a stunt like I listed above.

Thank you thank you.

I was too lazy to type all that myself.

Also, whoever said that you can't get pregnant because your cervix is too far back:

That sounds like telling a guy with hypospadias that he can't knock someone up.

Sure, perhaps you wouldn't be able to carry a pragnasty to term, but I doubt that a few inches of extra vag will prevent sperm from swimming up in there.

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"I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell"

:eatu

Yes, never believe a doc when he tells you that about your cervix. Mine was tipped back as far as it could be, like my mom's, and she got pregnant four times. I never got pregnant, thankfully but I didn't leave anything to chance.

I also had severe endo, but still insisted on a tubal ligation. Most doctors are pretty cavalier about telling people they are not fertile because it's nothing on them if they are wrong.

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bell_flower
Most doctors are pretty cavalier about telling people they are not fertile because it's nothing on them if they are wrong.

INdeed. They assume that people who think they are infertile would be pleasantly surprised to find themselves in pig. (that includes men AND women)

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"I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell"

:eatu

Noodler and Poof, I had that thought as well. The concept itself pisses me off, but the successful execution of that concept is highly unlikely.

I highly doubt it's even feasible (the thing with the baby aspirin replacement). I can't imagine a woman getting ready to take her daily pill and saying, "Oh my - it appears the foil backing on my pills has been tampered with and all the pockets have been cut open, and now all the pills have changed in both appearance and color. Ah well, c'est la vie - I'm sure it's nothing." *gulps down daily dose*

I reckon the "small subset" that tried this was actually one guy (who happened to be a ninja) who failed miserably because he had to open the foil backing for each pill and got confused by the different colors. Although his failure meant he had to commit seppuku, he had a disciple that was able to come back and tell this cockamamie story which was then used for "data" published in the Contraception journal.

This disciple, angered and yet undaunted by the loss of his master, started a highly-secretive ninja clan of wannabe fathers who will stop at nothing to sabotage birth control pills and are determined to collectively understand the mystery of the highly-protected, multi-colored hormonal weaponry of their chosen females.



Oh my God, this is awesome - let's make a (really stupid) movie out of this idea.

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"The secret of dealing successfully with a child is not to be its parent." -- Mel Lazarus
"Women who miscalculate are called mothers." -- Abigail Van Buren
"Better to be deprived of food for three days, than tea for one." -- Chinese proverb

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RatsNotBrats

aot9j9.jpg

Oh my God, this is awesome - let's make a (really stupid) movie out of this idea.

This IS awesome - when I get the chance (not tonight - I have roller derby right after work), I'm gonna add that to the emoticon library. Any chance you could tweak it to approximately the size of the big huge smiley with the teeth and the rosy cheeks? :biggrin2 It needs to be big enough so we can tell that there are birth-control pills in the ninjas' hands.

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"I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell"

:eatu

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SlumSlut

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RatsNotBrats

aot9j9.jpg

Oh my God, this is awesome - let's make a (really stupid) movie out of this idea.

This IS awesome - when I get the chance (not tonight - I have roller derby right after work), I'm gonna add that to the emoticon library. Any chance you could tweak it to approximately the size of the big huge smiley with the teeth and the rosy cheeks? :biggrin2 It needs to be big enough so we can tell that there are birth-control pills in the ninjas' hands.

I'll work on it later today and see what I can do.

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"The secret of dealing successfully with a child is not to be its parent." -- Mel Lazarus
"Women who miscalculate are called mothers." -- Abigail Van Buren
"Better to be deprived of food for three days, than tea for one." -- Chinese proverb

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law1204
What is it about wannaduhs that just creep me the fuck out? I don't have a problem whatsoever with men expressing their needs and feelings - quite the opposite, I wish they'd do it more. But there is something so fundamentally WRONG about a guy going all baby rabid - not just wanting a baby but being RABID. Maybe because I know they're clueless about what they're in for, that their expectations will be that they get to play with the baybee and Moo gets to do all the shit work, and most of all that it stems from a place inside them that's filled with the desire to snub their mares high and close to the post, which is what I *REALLY* think it is considering that men who express inordinate interest in having children know absolutely nothing about kids in general, and don't spend any of the time or energy around them or learning about them - they show little interest in actual children.

I so agree! These types of men are so creepy to me. I can't put my finger on why it weirds me out but it does. I think I picture these sorts of men as the kind who just want evidence that their sperm works.

law1204 and bell_flower: Great job ditching those creeps, as well!!! It is so wonderful to be free of that pressure and ill-treatment.

About sabotaging birth control...I concur with RNB. It is difficult to imagine anyone (at least not some average slob) successfully tampering with pills in their original packaging.

When I was with my psychotic ex, my only form of birth control was condoms. A lot of women have negative reactions to the pill, or are uninsured, and rely on condoms...which are definitely not going to be sufficient when dealing with a baby-rabid man. So easy to damage.

Thank God I'm older and wiser and have my heart set on a tubal!!!
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