I've never seen anything like this at lunch ever

DH and I went for lunch today and I've never seen anything like this before in my life.

We were quietly enjoying our lunch, surrounding by a sea of empty tables. Yuppie mom decides to sit down at the table directly next to ours with a baby in her arms ... I don't know how old... it looked the age when it might start walking soon.

She's towing a diaper bag, a purse, a kid and one of those wooden chair thingies they pop kids into. She makes a production of removing extra chairs from the table and sanitizing the table and the wooden chair thingie before she puts her kid in. Then she stuffs the kid in it. Goes into the diaper bag and belts her kid into the wooden thing with her own seatbelt. Then she whips out what looks like a plastic tablemat. She starts tearing strips off of it. I'm thinking WTF. Then I realize the placemat is adhesive on all 4 sides. She's taping it down to the table. Then she measures out the kid something to drink from the bag into a sippie cup. Then she puts a bib on the kid. Then she drags a bottle out of the bag and measures and pours milk into it.

I'm thinking good God going out to eat can't be worth all this and lo' and behold here comes matching yuppie dad with a matching IVF twin. And mom starts all over again.

Then I'm really thinking are you people for real? How on earth is it not easier to stay at home. Dad just sits there with the matching IVF twin on his lap while mom proceeds to do her sanitation / drink / bib / seatbelt routine with the other kid.

Then the first kid starts to scream.

We finished our last bite and bolted. How on earth are these kids ever going to develop immune systems when they are never exposed to any germs? And who dream up of this stupid routine just to go have lunch somewhere. How can this be enjoyable for anyone? Hell, I was watching it and I was tired.

That was all backward. It's the kids who are the disease spreading machines. The table, chairs, etc all need to be sanitized after they leave, so that the next unsuspecting patrons don't pick up Snotleigh's latest mutant virus strain.

I love how 99 percent of all Moos are at one extreme end of the sanitary spectrum or the other extreme end. Most Moos are slovenly pigs with unwashed hair and equally unwashed, dirt-encrusted brats. Then there are the smaller percentage who will sanitize fucking everything that might come in contact with the kid. These are the ones who will grab food away from other people that Snookums is allergic to (recalling a story about a Moo who snatched a peanut butter cup away from someone in front of her and her peanut-allergy loaf on a plane).

I'm honestly surprised they went out at all with their little weaklings if they feel the need to saran-wrap everything. Give it time - those kids will always, ALWAYS be sick, will probably help contribute to the growth of new viral and antibiotic-resistant infections, and will have a mile-long list of allergies. I swear to you, I see Smothering Moos talk about their one single kid that has allergies to wheat, gluten, dairy, eggs, citrus, grass, pollen, aerosol, red and blue dye, every antibiotic known to man, animal hair, and fake sugar. When you have a weak little IVF bio-omelet AND marinate it in peroxide and hand sanitizer AND don't get it any shots, the result will be a kid who has no immune response.

Kids need to spend some quality time with germs because one day, Mommy won't be there to baste them in germ-killing fluids and they will be adults who have strep 365 days out of the year and a Benadryl IV.

That's nice. However, this is the same moo who likely is a "no vax" advocate, who hangs the IFV twins' asses over bridges, over passes, lakes, sinks, and other public areas to shit or piss, and thinks nothing about the little shit bags' leaky diaper juice spreading infection and disease all about town.

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!

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Snark Shark
"Goes into the diaper bag and belts her kid into the wooden thing with her own seatbelt"

O.o

yes, because if anything needs a seatbelt, it's a STATIONARY CHAIR IN FRONT OF A TABLE. One neverknows when there'll be a TABLE CRASH at a restaurant nowadays.

larious can't breathe....z

lunch with the Monk family

larious

What pisses me off the most about your story? The part where, with all those empty tables she just HAD to come sit right next to you. I HATE when people do that.

No doubt she was hoping for you to be all like "squeee! so cuuuuute!" all over her two shitbags.

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filthy mcnasty NLI
What pisses me off the most about your story? The part where, with all those empty tables she just HAD to come sit right next to you. I HATE when people do that.

No doubt she was hoping for you to be all like "squeee! so cuuuuute!" all over her two shitbags.

Exactly. And to praise her on what a great moooommy she is. Baybee-stalking piece of shit. m

I couldn't believe they actually make disposable kiddie placemats, so I had to Google it:

It doesn't make sense! We sterilize our baby's bottle for the first six months of their life, and then we take them to restaurants only to eat finger foods right off of a dirty table. Why? Because babies love to throw their plates and paper placemats to the floor.

What is really on those restaurant tables?
News reports document the presence of germs and bacteria on countertop surfaces. And those white rags are used over and over, and actually spread germs from table to table!

They are obviously marketing to the parents of IVF myraculs who would otherwise die from a cold breeze.

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"[GFG's pregnancy is] kind of like at the stables where that one dumb, ugly-ass mare broke out of her corral one day and got herself screwed by the equally fugly colt that was due to be gelded the same afternoon."- Shiny

let me see...breeders bring kids into restaurants regardless of vaccination history or condition of health (such as the flu). the kids drool, sneeze and cough all ver the table and high chairs (not counting what is going on in the high chair seat as well-hint: french fries and chicken tenders don't smell like that). kids also crumb, spill, throw and pour food and beverages on the table, much of which has been in contact with their mouths or dirty, saliva and mucus encrusted hands. the wait staff often use cloths that have been sitting in soapy water-but they put the same rag back into the bucket with all those other rags. which are used on other tables and on the counters where you pick up your food...

I wonder if she was vigilant enough to wipe up the wicked mess after her twin nightmares were finished eating rather than leaving the waitstaff to do it.

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filthy mcnasty NLI
What pisses me off the most about your story? The part where, with all those empty tables she just HAD to come sit right next to you. I HATE when people do that.

No doubt she was hoping for you to be all like "squeee! so cuuuuute!" all over her two shitbags.

It pissed me off too. We would have moved if we weren't at the end of our meal. There was not only a sea of tables in the room we were in, but 2 additional rooms had a sea of empty tables in them as well.

Anyone who thinks breeders don't pander for attention through their children is delusional. Why else would she drag her family to sit next to us in an open-seating restaurant? We weren't by the drink bar, the condiment bar or the restrooms. We purposely sat away from where crowds or breeders would choose to sit. She had to finagle herself through 4 divided areas of tables to get to us.

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law1204
I wonder if she was vigilant enough to wipe up the wicked mess after her twin nightmares were finished eating rather than leaving the waitstaff to do it.

I thought of that too. I wonder if she pulled up the taped on placemats or left them. I'd bet everything I owned that she didn't sanitize shit when she left and that the table was a disaster area.