Grandmoo thread

Since there seemed to be a theme starting on my 'new here' thread I thought maybe I'd use my friends transformation into grandmoos as my first rant.

Ok, when I was younger I lost a bunch of friends when they all began popping out crotch crickets back in the 70s and 80s. So now I have a new group of friends. Met them all when their kids were in college or just married. Then the grand kids began to come along. Suddenly... friends have become the quint essential grandmoos.

So, here we go again. When the grown loaf begins to spit out loaves of it's own....and us CF friends are, again, the last on the list...forgotten.. snubbed....

Thoughts? Stories? I have some but need to wait till tomorrow when I'm more awake.

This really depresses me. I know at least for myself (in my mid to late 30s) I tended to think that once I got out of my 30s I wouldn't be assaulted nearly as regularly by the baby onslaught. To think that the cycle of loaf worship begins anew every couple of decades and that I will have this shit to look forward to when I reach "grandparent" age? SO depressing. Proves that it never really ends. But it also reaffirms my commitment to only be friends with other CF people. If they never have kids, they will never have grandkids!

Due to facebook, I recently reconnected with what I would have considered my "best" friend from high school (she would have been in my grad'g class, but she got knocked up in junior-11th grade year).

She has six kids, two of which don't live with her (long story).

A couple of months ago, she calls me up and says "I know you're not into the kid scene, but I wanted to invite you to my son's fiancee's baby shower. I know you don't have a lot of cash, but I just wanted to invite you because you are my friend and this is my first grandchild."

OMG. GRANDchild! You're FORTY! And a a grandmoo! OMG OMG OMG. No.

Of course, it's always "fiancee" when a girlfriend gets knocked up. I really felt like saying, "Yea, I'm not one for baby showers, but call me when the wedding invites go out. I'll find some cash if it's an open bar."

Something tells me there won't be a wedding. Just another two "forever fiancee'ds".

I will say she's a PNB for the most part. Her oldest daughter in her late teens is very polite, so I'll give her points for that.

But I have to add this. When we reconnected, we went through the whole "what the hell happened to the last ten years?" thing, and she had a LOT of drama. A divorce. A couple more kids. A stint in the mental ward. And cancer. She had some kind of uterine cancer in which she could develop it again (I don't know why they didn't yank that fucker out). I had drama, too, but nothing like hers.

At some time in the conversation, I got around to me getting married to Mr. Awesome Noodler and she asked me if we had/were going to have kids. I said, "No. Mr. Noodler and I decided together it wasn't for us and he got his noodles tied."

She is only three days younger than me and said, "Yea, I was gonna tell you that if you want to have kids you better get on it." (due to my age, which is basically the same as hers.)

Fast forward a few months and we're on the phone chatting and she says that she got a funky pap smear back but can't do anything because she's working crazy hours for Big Internet Sales Company and she can't take ANY time off. Furthermore, she tells me that if she DOES have the big C, again, they're going to have to yank her uterus. I tell her, "Well, you've had SIX, I think you've had the experience enough, don't you?" (Not to mention, I don't want my friend to DIE."

She replies, "Well, it's different when you absolutely CAN'T have anymore."

Internally, my brain is saying:
SIX ISN'T ENOUGH? TWO AREN'T EVEN LIVING WITH YOU! OMG! GO TO THE DOCTOR AND PULL THE DEFECTIVE PART BEFORE IT KILLS YOU!"

I just don't get it.

How's that for a grandmoo story?

Six should do it, I'd think. Sheesh.

I too love "crotch crickets." Related meaning: the cricket sound your life begins to make as soon as you poop out kids.

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the noodler
Due to facebook, I recently reconnected with what I would have considered my "best" friend from high school (she would have been in my grad'g class, but she got knocked up in junior-11th grade year).

She has six kids, two of which don't live with her (long story).

A couple of months ago, she calls me up and says "I know you're not into the kid scene, but I wanted to invite you to my son's fiancee's baby shower. I know you don't have a lot of cash, but I just wanted to invite you because you are my friend and this is my first grandchild."

OMG. GRANDchild! You're FORTY! And a a grandmoo! OMG OMG OMG. No.

Of course, it's always "fiancee" when a girlfriend gets knocked up. I really felt like saying, "Yea, I'm not one for baby showers, but call me when the wedding invites go out. I'll find some cash if it's an open bar."

Something tells me there won't be a wedding. Just another two "forever fiancee'ds".

I will say she's a PNB for the most part. Her oldest daughter in her late teens is very polite, so I'll give her points for that.

But I have to add this. When we reconnected, we went through the whole "what the hell happened to the last ten years?" thing, and she had a LOT of drama. A divorce. A couple more kids. A stint in the mental ward. And cancer. She had some kind of uterine cancer in which she could develop it again (I don't know why they didn't yank that fucker out). I had drama, too, but nothing like hers.

At some time in the conversation, I got around to me getting married to Mr. Awesome Noodler and she asked me if we had/were going to have kids. I said, "No. Mr. Noodler and I decided together it wasn't for us and he got his noodles tied."

She is only three days younger than me and said, "Yea, I was gonna tell you that if you want to have kids you better get on it." (due to my age, which is basically the same as hers.)

Fast forward a few months and we're on the phone chatting and she says that she got a funky pap smear back but can't do anything because she's working crazy hours for Big Internet Sales Company and she can't take ANY time off. Furthermore, she tells me that if she DOES have the big C, again, they're going to have to yank her uterus. I tell her, "Well, you've had SIX, I think you've had the experience enough, don't you?" (Not to mention, I don't want my friend to DIE."

She replies, "Well, it's different when you absolutely CAN'T have anymore."

Internally, my brain is saying:
SIX ISN'T ENOUGH? TWO AREN'T EVEN LIVING WITH YOU! OMG! GO TO THE DOCTOR AND PULL THE DEFECTIVE PART BEFORE IT KILLS YOU!"

I just don't get it.

How's that for a grandmoo story?

With that mentality, no WONDER we fight tooth and nail to be sterilized.

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lab mom

I had to go back and re-read that. She's FORTY and got SIX kids, and still appears to harbour fantasies of having yet more baybees, even though her baybee-making equipment is becoming toxic and deadly.

I am sat here shaking my head in amazement.

Actually I can see her point....I have a good friend who never really showed interest in having kids. When she was found to have uterine cancer the only cure was to remove the baby oven. She had said to me that even though kids never appeared on her radar, it was the thought of that being taken away.

I said it wasn't the kids being taken away, it was the control. Getting your own tubes tied is you in control; cancer is WAY out of anyone's control. I don't think she was mourning kids as much as the control of her own body that she had lost.

She agreed with that assessment. We ran our first marathon together to commemorate six months cancer free....which was just her taking control of her life again.

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From a bottle cap message on a Magic Hat #9 beer: Condoms Prevent Minivans
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I want to pick up a bus full of unruly kids and feed them gummi bears and crack, then turn them loose in Hobby Lobby to ransack the place. They will all be wearing T shirts that say "You Could Have Prevented This."

I have a young relative who always told her mother that she never wanted kids. Then she got a very serious infection, and the Dr. came into the room and told her and her parents that her tubes were destroyed, and she would never be able to get pregnant unless she did IVF. Since my relative never wanted kids anyway, she just shrugged it off. No big deal - now she didn't have to pay for birth control pills anymore! However, the mooing and lowing from other people in her circle, mainly this relative's mom's friends, when they found out, was just short of insane! "Oh! The poor girl! To have that taken away!" I tried to be logical and explain that she didn't want kids, anyway, but was hit with the usual bingos - "She would've changed her mind!" "It's different when you are told you CAN'T" etc.
meanwhile, my young relative's infection cleared up, and she is going on blissfully with her fun-filled life full of friends and adventures.

The only thing worse than a moo-cunt is the moo-cunt's mother when she becomes a grandmoo-cunt. The baby daddys moo isn't generally as bad as the moo-cunt's moo, but they are still annoying. I can hardly bear the proud gleam that comes over their faces as they drone on and on and fucking on about what GrandBratley has said or done. Grandmoo and Peepaw blabbering about their grandbrats is one of THE most boring conversations to ever be trapped into being a captive audience. The only thing worse and MORE boring than the incessant blabber is the endless pictures or even worse, a video of it doing something equally as mundane as what it's doing right in front of you.:smn

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!

Ok... I am up and awake now.

Since the subject was brought up about loosing ones ability to shoot out a snot spewer.... Here is my story on that. I had a cousin...she was around 30.... divorced... no kids. She developed cancer in her cervix. It was showing signs of spreading... but was treated and she recovered. Doc told her to be careful, get check-ups every 6 months and that it would not be a good idea for her to have children in the future. Ok.. she meets this guy. He's one of those 'churchy' people who believes 'We must have children for the church' (ok... I wanted to kick him into the next life a few times...but I digress) Anyhow, cousin gets engaged to this guy. (after being indoctrinated deep into this churchy way of thinking) Says that she and the guy want TEN kids. Not kidding. She was already 34 and wanted 10 freekin crotch rockets... and... her doctor warned her about even having ONE.
Ok... wedding day comes. I was asked to do the video. OMG... it was a photographers nightmare. First of all... the church was full of loaves and moos and duhs... and when a group got up to sing during the service... it was 2 guys and 4 gals and.. I kid you not... all 4 of them had nearly done loaves stickin out. OMG. Reception was in the basement of the church and there were BALLOOOOONS and 'Snotleighs' and 'Travistys' running all over with them..... Okay... back to the story at hand
Less than a year later... cousin turns up preggers. Has the first crotchling....he's okay. Less than a year later... she's bakin' another one. This one is stillborn. (OMG the funeral they had. Named it, baptized it...... I didnt' go, but my father did)
Soon after the second.. she started having back problems. The cancer was back... and in her kidneys. She had to have one of them removed. I was with her the night before surgery when the doctor came in. The husband was there too. First question to come out of the freekin idiot's mouth was "How is this treatment going to affect her ability to have more children?"
I about dropped over. Here this woman had a serious condition... most likely from popping out 2 loaves that she never should have had... for the freekin church... and this is all he's worried about?
They even discussed 'freezing her eggs' WTF??
Ok.. long story short... in only 6 months she was dead. There was duh with one 4 year old to raise on his own. I have heard that he's never remarried... and never got his gaggle of sprogs. He feels guilty because 'he let God down' @@.
When we were younger this girl was like a sister to me... she was MOH in my wedding... and now she was dead because he had brainwashed her into doing something that the doctor advised her not to do.

Basically my grandmoo gripe for this morning is.... I am head of a group this year and I do fundraising and such. Anyhow.. the excuse I hate the most for not coming out and working on a project is... 'I can't becaue I have the grand kids this weekend'

Now I have to go do a few things around this house and I'll get back to bitchin' later.

I am so enjoying reading this board.:yr

I really don't get the mind of these women who find out that they have a serious condition that might affect their life but still they go on and get knocked up. No matter the fact that a doctor (a person with years of schooling and experience) advised them not to. It seems that besides the fact that they are plain stupid they are also deaf. It goes like this:
What the doctor actually says:"it is NOT a good idea for you to have children in the future"
What the cunt actually hears:"it is good for you to have children in the future"
And then the whole drama starts.

The subject of these cows ignoring doc's advices came up and i just said bluntly my opinion. I was almost eaten alive by the idiot moos who jumped at my throat with their tired arguments that i'm selfish and i will never understand the higher role of moo. Just once again...she is the one ignoring advices from a professional and endanger her life and her kids' life but i'm the one selfish here. I am more than sure that such stories are taken into consideration when we are attacked as being selfish.

As for the respective guy it just shows how much he "loves" her by asking "How is this treatment going to affect her ability to have more children?" *facepalm* As so much for seeing your partner an incubator/sperm donor. Because this is how breeders express their feelings. How about the woman you married? Screw that!...Is the incubator going to be alright?

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blackpearl
I
As for the respective guy it just shows how much he "loves" her by asking "How is this treatment going to affect her ability to have more children?" *facepalm* As so much for seeing your partner an incubator/sperm donor. Because this is how breeders express their feelings. How about the woman you married? Screw that!...Is the incubator going to be alright?

Oh, why don't they just try to grow a baby in a Lava Lamp jar, it would save women so much pain and heartache.

That would be great idea, and it would make a great conversation piece as well "yeah it's only about half baked, look most of the tail is gone now"....I'm almost hoping they will come up with the technology the grow the things in jars i.e. Brave New World, Star Wars, The Matrix...so at least stupid moo's can't do anything to screw them up and themselves 'cause there too stupid and I won't have to look at preggo cows and how everybody just fawns all over them their fat dumb asses.......

I think when breeders hear that something external may shut down their baybee ovens, the first thing that goes through their heads is, "I'll never get another chance to attention-whore and make it all about ME"

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"[GFG's pregnancy is] kind of like at the stables where that one dumb, ugly-ass mare broke out of her corral one day and got herself screwed by the equally fugly colt that was due to be gelded the same afternoon."- Shiny

And yes, grandmoos are the worst. I had to shoot a charity video about a grandmoo whose daughter beat cancer (a good thing) and later grew up to have two beautiful boys (not so fucking amazing) We had to re-write the script at least ten times, because the crazy old bat DEMANDED to say the boys' names, even though they had nothing to do with the video's core message.

"Jayden's a NEWBORN! Can I please say NEWBORN? Every woman watching this will be able to relate to children!"

I just rolled my eyes and thought, "Not THIS woman..."

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"[GFG's pregnancy is] kind of like at the stables where that one dumb, ugly-ass mare broke out of her corral one day and got herself screwed by the equally fugly colt that was due to be gelded the same afternoon."- Shiny

When I was a teen and active in the Baptist church there was a 35 y/o pasty faced, empty eyed, moo-fundie who was married to one of those men who was a reformed drug addicted drunk turned self proclaimed preacher. They are also distantly related to me by marriage. Anyway, they already had 4 kids named Gabriel, Mary, Joseph, and Jacob when she got knocked up with Zachariah. Allegedly she was diagnosed with breast cancer AFTER she became knocked up, but kept it from everyone, including her husband, or so he claims. She refused ALL medical treatment for it deciding instead to let "God's Will" handle everything. She was dead within 3 months of having shat the loaf.

Her husband remarried a 19 y/o parishioner within 6 months of her death and SHE was knocked up shortly thereafter and went on to shit several more loaves in rapid succession. This was about 30 years ago and the last I heard the second wife had left him about ten years ago and he is BACK on drugs and drunk all the time and living in shelters when he can find one to take his drunk ass in. These types of people littered the landscape of my youth and I am SO glad I no longer have to see any of them on a regular basis.

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!

Crap 'kidlesskim' I can so relate with that stupid idiot that my cousin married. I am not sure of what he did before he 'found jesus' (didn't know he was lost) All I know is that his 'man cave' consisted of books on god and the ministry and a TV that was NOT allowed to be tuned to anything but 700 club kinds of stuff. The kid was only allowed to shop for toys in a Christian book store and only look at videos that had a 'religeous theme' I mean .. I am spiritual and believe in a supreme being... but this is way over the top. He was nuts. My cousin was just like me growing up and we were crazy teens and young adults who got into the normal amount of fixes...(nothing illegal or anything) but when she met this guy it was about 3 months and she was wearing drab clothes, no makeup, funky shoes, big ol' ugly glasses (and she used to wear contacts) ACK!!

Oh yeah, this is a thread about grand moos. How about the grandmoos who end up raising their loaf's loaf? I had another cousin who did that. She finally got all her 4 out of the house. She's a bit older than me but we still enjoyed doing things together. She lives in Fla.. so I would go down there to visit every winter for a week or so so we couild do things. Then, when the DIL shot out her loaf... she was constantly finding a reason to drop said loaf off for my cousin (the MIL) to take care of. Now the grandbrat gets a room of his own at grandma's and toys ... and, well, now grandmoo is allll about the grandloaf. Come on people. Oh well.. she's always loved kiddos so... I guess it's what she wanted all along. Though she was so happy to get all hers out of the house... when the grandkid almost moved in... she was pretty darn happy about it. Empty nest syndrom? Where did it leave me? I had no desire to go down to visit her anymore.