This sort of thing makes me all the more grateful that Catdaddy and his first wife didn't breed.
Once upon a time, he did want kids, or at least he thought he did. But it never came to be, as his ex was unable to conceive. And that was the end of the kids thing...they never bothered to try IVF (couldn't afford it) or adopt. They just moved on.
Anyway, the divorce was rather nasty. Catdaddy was still married to her when we met, but they were legally separated and no longer living together. She hired some shark lawyer and proceeded to bleed him for everything he owned. He finally let her keep the house if she'd just shut up and never ask for another dime ever again. He'd wanted to sell the house and split the proceeds, she wanted it all for herself!
But can you imagine what it would have been like if they HAD sprogged? Honestly, I don't think I would have even dated him if he had a kid, never mind married him. In addition to the mney thing, I'd have to deal with the ex AND the sprog in my life, and I'm not interested in that.
Catdaddy was finishing up his degree at the time we met, and was living on student loans and a part time job, so he didn't have much money. He was still in school when the divorce was finalized, so there was nothing much for her to take except the house. He'd moved in with me by then, but his lawyer advised him to keep that quiet. Catdaddy had been using a P.O. box in Cambridge all along, and he just kept using it, so the ex and the shark never knew exactly where he was living, and with whom, anyway.
Once he graduated and started working full time, the big money started coming in, but she can never get her hands on any of it. Ever. If there were sprogs involved, the court CAN change the loaf support order to reflect the father's income. So if I had married him even though he had a sprog, we'd be living on next to nothing, and I'd have to work to support us, as most of his pay would have to go to the ex and the sproggen.
Catdaddy knows that he dodged a bullet here, big-time. That's a big part of why he decided to be CF. And I am so glad he feels that way!