So How is That Working Out for You?

Guy gets tired of his wife, they already have a ten year old daughter together. Divorces the wife. A year later takes up with a HIGH MAINTENANCE Italian woman with a psycho ex (who also happens to be a lawyer) and she already has two male pre-teen hellions. The two don't get married but shack up together and buy a house for their new combined brood.

Fast forward a few years later. Guy is out of work due to the cruddy economy. Woman decides he isn't a good enough "provider" for her CHILLLYYDRREN and gets the hell out of dodge. Now he has to sell the house and find a new place for him and his daughter to live.

STEPMOOS..........avoid them at all cost. He said something telling a while back when my honey and I asked him about what it's like with his new, blended family. He said, "It's not a family. It's two separate families who happen to be sharing a house."

Never date a stepmoo, dudes!

If the woman had kids of her own she was a bona fide moo and didn't turn into the wicked stepmoo until she married him, who doesn't sound like much of a prize either. The best thing all around is for the unchilded who want kids and childfree people to steer clear of people who already have kids, period. Even breeders would be better off keeping the DNA under one umbrella rather than immediately having "one of our own" with each new relationship. It's been my experience that very few hodge podge famblees with his from his first, hers from her first, hers and his, his from number 2 and hers from husband three, etc........ RARELY work out very well.

When every other kid is a half or step and the breeders continue to divorce, break up, move on and start all over again with the typical "one of our own" loaf spanning 2 decades, it's generally pretty tough on the kids involved and doesn't work out very well for anyone concerned. Childfree people of either gender should NEVER get involved with a childed person, except perhaps an empty nester but even that can be tricky. That combination is worse than a cat lover only-canine unfriendly person hooking up with a dog-only cat hating person. BTDT on both counts, kid-dog only lover/cat hater and it's ugly. :smn

If one or both of a married couple hate the people and animals who share their home, it's just NOT gonna work out.

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!

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kidlesskim
If the woman had kids of her own she was a bona fide moo and didn't turn into the wicked stepmoo until she married him, who doesn't sound like much of a prize either. The best thing all around is for the unchilded who want kids and childfree people to steer clear of people who already have kids, period. Even breeders would be better off keeping the DNA under one umbrella rather than immediately having "one of our own" with each new relationship. It's been my experience that very few hodge podge famblees with his from his first, hers from her first, hers and his, his from number 2 and hers from husband three, etc........ RARELY work out very well.

Couldn't agree more.

It is an utter mess. In my childhood, step-families only seemed to exist where there'd been a bereavement, and even that didn't work out terribly well. This business of kids living in a house where half the people aren't their actual relatives, and then being shipped off at intervals to stay in another house where half those people aren't their relatives either, is ridiculous. There's nothing that shows your kids how much you love them like having more kids with a different dad and then sidelining them, and using them as pawns against your ex and his/her new partner, who probably also have had more kids together. Ewwwww.
My parents were obnoxious cunts, but at least they were my parents. Imagine having to put up with that crap from someone who was only in the house by virtue of banging one of your parents.

Oh, the drama. WHY do people need all this chaos and drama?

I feel like Happysammy, I put up with enough shit from my real parents and would have had no tolerance for some stranger in the house telling me what to do. Life is hard enough on your own or with one family. I even think living with one other person is tough. There is something missing in people that they choose to create a big mish-mash mess and don't expect consequences.

I'm never dating a parent, ever.

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pittstonjoma
I'm never dating a parent, ever.

In addition to the one childed man I was married to for over ten years, I also dated another weekend dad who had two little boys and an older empty nester with grown kids my age. Being married to the childed man was a fucking DISASTER for a myriad of reasons relating to his having a kid, the weekend dad had WAY too much baby mama drama, and the older guy had grandbrat issues. I'd say it is very rare for a childfree-childed couple to live happily ever after. When you date or marry a childed person, even IF they don't have custody (which mine later got a few minutes after we married, it seemed) you are "marrying" their ex, HER parents, each and every new relationship or husband the ex acquires and HIS hodge podge set of kids since they are now "brothers and sisters" of the kid,, all of the INLAWS of the former spouse who are related to the kid like MeeMaw, Paw-Paw and Aunt Mildred, all of the little step and half cousins, as well as the "one of our own" the ex will undoubtedly shit since it's the kid's "little brother":headbrick

Over the course of 13 years which includes the living together time, my then husband's ex wife was married an additional FIVE times and with each new man came a bunch of hodge-podge kids from his prior relationships. In addition to those, she shat out a "one of our own" with two of them giving my husband's kid SO MANY halves and steps I honestly can't even remember all of their names. It was a CONSTANT thing to tote the kid to halves and step's birthday parties and whatnot, which of course meant I had to spend time around THAT bitch and all of HER fucking obnoxious inlaws, who changed every other year.

The WORST however, was when she shat the "one of our own" loaves because they were actual blood relatives of the then husband's kid. SO, naturally she wanted the girl to be brought up to the mooternity ward to see the new little brother. Also, kids don't understand it and can be hurt if you give their sister a present, but leave them out. So, not wanting to punish her innocent halves and steps, I'd give those little bastards Christmas-birthday presents too. The whole damned thing was a HUGE pile of shit and the longer I stayed the worse it got.:smn

That moo-cunt has sluiced since I left too nearly 6 years ago, although I am not sure how many times, and she is older than I am and I am 48.

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!

KidlessKim, I agree, it can be very difficult to avoid the extended circle of misery caused by being connected to someone with kids in his or her immediate family. It can be very rare to find someone who is relatively isolated from such stuff but also isn't psychopathic/moronic/socially or emotionally stinted.

For me, the solution was falling in love with a fellow workaholic and cat lover! We can always pull the "Sorry we can't attend your brat's first Communion, bar mitzvah, etc. because we have to work work work!"

And if people drone on about their kids, we start to drone on about our cats. Serves 'em right!

I have a cousin who was in a situation that reminds me of some of what you went through, Kidless. She fell in love with a guy who had a pre-teen daughter, they married, and the kid spent the entire marriage plotting to get daddy away from that horrible woman who would NEVER be her mother (because my cousin actually insisted on some discipline as the new stepmoo.) They divorced a few years later and my cousin is still processing the feelings of intense betrayal.....why didn't the duhd stand up for her against his manipulative daughter? Etc. Etc.

It's just a no win situation all around.

Gods forbid I should find myself widowed one day, I dread having to deal with STEP GRANDBRATS if I get involved with a man who has older kids who also have their own children.

I might have to become a crazy old lady with cats and/or a lesbian. Seriously.