Duhdie Saved Me Fifty Bucks

I've mentioned that my friend, the APW, is having a co-ed baby shower this Saturday. My DH has absolutely no intention of going and I told my friends this. However, I planned to get them the following gifts:

-A baby first aid kit, with all approved medications
-An extra baby bag for quick trips to include all that one would need for changing baby on the go, like diapers, wet wipes, etc. I am also including some baby things with a monkey logo, as my DH is a big fan of monkeys. That would be a gift from HIM that I would bring.
-A 50 dollar gift certificate to the restaurant of mommy's choice plus a handmade gift certificate for babysitting by me.

I had called my friend's DH and told him to keep it on the downlow, and just ask her where she would like to eat if they got a chance, as they are dirt poor and NEVER EVER go out because of it. I can appreciate and applaud that, but I know that they will need a break after a few months of parenthood.

So, her DH calls me the other night, and instead of fishing for an answer by ASKING her what restaurants she may have wanted to go to (we have a ton in the area...lots of Italian and seafood places that are wonderful, in addition to all the regular crap like Olive Garden and what not), he flat out TOLD her of my plan. Well, she wants "stuff", plain and simple.

Now I just saved 50 bucks because they thought I wasn't going to get them additional "stuff". In three months, they'll be calling me to babysit when they need a night to themselves, and I'm going to say, "Sorry. You had the opportunity, but you went for the stuff you were going to get from us anyway".

It hurts me to do this, because when we got married and were out of town for two weeks, they checked on our three cats and even decorated our apartment with balloons and such when we got in. They were even there when we got home, and took a picture of DH carrying me over the threshhold (he almost tripped, it was funny).

Again, I don't approve of her having a baby right now. She is only 22 and emotionally unstable as it is, not to mention they don't have any savings whatsoever. It's going to be a trainwreck. I just know it.

It sucks, too, because they were good friends for us. We would all hang out at each other's place, and play music (like a hootnanny with our other instrument playing friends) or just watch movies. I've already gotten the "I can't be at your place, cuz, you know, the cigarette smoke bothers me...." (she quit when she got pregnant, but that didn't stop her from taking a morning sickness puff off the "pipe" when I was in the bathroom once).

Thanks for letting me rant on this.

Well, I'll just say here that even without the gift certificate and babysitting, you are being WAY more generous than I can bring myself to be when it comes to baby showers. I have a hard time getting anything other than a package of diapers, or some bottles and nipples, and a pack of onesies. If I'm feeling really generious, or they're good friends, I might even spruce them up in some way with stencils and fabric paint and throw in an offer of free babysitting for a couple hours. Even if the parents can't afford, or choose not, to go out I figure I can probably walk a baby around for a couple hours without doing too much damage while the parents have some time alone at home.

"It truly is the one commonality that every designation of humans you can think of has, there's at least one asshole."
--Me

I would have sent a card with a printed map to the nearest Planned Parenthood clinic and local liquor stores.