Non-religious reasons to take your kid to church
Posted by Anonymous User
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Re: Non-religious reasons to take your kid to church August 14, 2012 |
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Ondinette
http://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/8-non-religious-reasons-kids-church-134700210.html
I have very mixed feelings about this. On one hand I don't like organized religion and the idea of parents "having" to go there for their kids is distasteful. On the other hand, I have already told you about being an unpopular child and how my parents not going to church played a role in it. All I had was home and school and both sucked. Church would have been a third place where maybe I could have found something good.
Once I read something about how the fact many people feel they can only have a social life through church is a sad commentary on America. I agree.
What do you think? Should parents take their kids to church even if they aren't into religion?
As someone who spent most of my childhood in a church, I feel the need to issue a resounding NO!
My childhood would have been SO MUCH better had I not had to attend church. In my case, I probably spent 6-7 hours a week in religious services when I was growing up and sometimes more (not including time spent in Christian school Bible classes or other things like that. Don't even get me started on revival weeks and/or weekend church activities! That was hell on earth!).
Ondinette, I can say from experience that kids act the same towards you at church as they do in school. They don't become nice to you just because you start going to their church. I actually found my Christian school classmates to be less friendly in church than they were in school.
Church is a way of controlling people's lives. When you're spending half your weekend or more plus a weeknight just in religious services on top of work and/or school, then you really don't have much time for anything else. That doesn't include the numerous church ministries or activities you'll be pressured to sign up for! It keeps people too busy to question the church's teaching.
I feel that my childhood was wasted on church and wish I'd never had to attend a single church service. I realize I might be overreacting, but do you understand where I'm coming from?
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Re: Non-religious reasons to take your kid to church August 14, 2012 |
Starlady- are ya sure we didn't have the same parents? lol!
Your post is EXACTLY what they did to me, dragged me out of bed.
And being sick was NOT an excuse.
I thought it was enormous waste of time also!
And the people at our church were just like ya said, fake fake fake!
And why would God/Goddess give a shit where I 'worshipped' them from?
And don't even get me started on the no meat on Friday bullshit!
Needless to say, I've tweaked my religious views just a TAD since my school days!
Your post is EXACTLY what they did to me, dragged me out of bed.
And being sick was NOT an excuse.
I thought it was enormous waste of time also!
And the people at our church were just like ya said, fake fake fake!
And why would God/Goddess give a shit where I 'worshipped' them from?
And don't even get me started on the no meat on Friday bullshit!
Needless to say, I've tweaked my religious views just a TAD since my school days!
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Re: Non-religious reasons to take your kid to church August 14, 2012 |
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coco_uk
For a couple of years I was sent to Sunday School. My family aren't religious, so no doubt it was just a way of getting rid of me for a couple of hours. I'm fairly indifferent to religion now, I'm not into it myself but don't mind if other people want to do it.
Same here. In fact, they sent us to whatever church was geographically closest, meaning that we were exposed to the Methodists, Mormons and Pentecostals. Talk about a strange mix
I don't know if it was because the exposure was such a muddle, or I was an early rationalist. Nothing stuck. In fact, I would argue that exposing kids to church, at least for a year or so as they approach young adulthood, would be an intelligent thing to do. I don't want to frame it as a "know your enemy" approach, but one that educates them to understand the influences of those who try to force their beliefs on the entire country.
IMO, there has to be some susceptibility that allows the dogma of a church to seep in. I worked with a young man who believed the Bible literally. He wasn't the kind of fundie who tried to convert people and was willing to discuss his beliefs calmly so I was able to say "John? The Flood; Adam and Eve; the whole 'created the world in six days' stuff? You believe that? I mean - you're smart; rilly-rilly smart. How can you believe that stuff?" He would simply not accept any rational, scientific ideas. We once got into a discussion about the Laurentide Ice Sheet; I pointed out that scientists believed that might have been a source of the Flood tale. John *shrugged*, admitted it was "interesting" but was still quite sure that what was written in the Bible is what really happened.
John was otherwise a personable, likable guy; we were really good friends; but he would not even speculate on any possible explanations for Biblical events. Events happened as written in the Bible.
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Re: Non-religious reasons to take your kid to church August 14, 2012 |
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nathanomir
I think it's great for a parent to take his or her child to church, synagogue, circle, temple, mosque, etc., to expose the child to his or her faith. But I think it stops there. The child needs the freedom to decide for himself or herself. The reasons listed in the article are not strong enough. As someone who was both literally raised in church every time the door was open (my mother actually had a key) and someone who was a minister for four years, I must comment on the article (this is based on 15 years in the Word of Faith charismatic denomination):
1. Friends. This is true as long as you believe exactly like everyone else. The moment you differ on even the slightest point of doctrine, politics, science, culture, etc., you will be shunned. Trust me! If you disagree, you will be told to submit. If you continue to disagree, you will be called unteachable, stiff necked and stubborn.
2. Community. Again, it's only a community as long as you believe exactly like the rest of the Borg colony. The moment you voice a minority viewpoint, you are cast out of the community. You will be told to go to a church where you can more easily manipulate the pastor.
3. Activities and events. Definitely true. The church is always hopping. However, most of the activities are alternatives to whatever is happening in "the world," such as Hallelujah Festivals instead of Halloween, so they seem to be sloppy and low budget affairs (Christmas pagents with bathrobes and flipflops, that kind of thing). Left Behind parties anyone?
4. Child care. The church does a smashing job at this, but it also depends on the church. I've seen some that were state of the art and made schools look shameful. And I've seen some that had carpeting on the floor (a taboo whenever bodily fluids are present; ask any hospital). The problem is that most churches expect every woman to rotate through child care during service, including the CF because "women just love babies!"
5. Family values. This is the big problem right here. Whose family? Whose values? It's fine when they remain inside the little concrete block building, but when they spill out into greater society, and they do and will, then we have small wars that engulf the political scene. I have my own familiy and my own values, and very few religions of any stripe, denomination or creed come close.
6. Motivation. Yeah, it's true. I was motivated -- to defy "Bring up a child the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it." Not only did I depart, but I became a quasi-pagan! A lot of church-based motivation is rooted in guilt and/or fear (can I get an amen out of the Catholics and Baptists in the room?) so I question the validity of such motivation. I personally think all faiths should be about making better people through love and kindness. Fear and guilt only lead to the hatred and bloodshed we're seeing in the news.
7. Opportunities to help others. THIS SHOULD BE WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT! I've noticed that the churches that emphasize helping others, the Sermon on the Mount, are the ones we never hear about. We only hear about the ones who emphasize politics, putting women back in the kitchen, having too many kids, donating all your money to the preacher's private jet, obeying thee prophet, etc. At least I hope there are still churches that help people, that they all don't kill sihks, bomb abortion clinics, protest funerals and insist that every woman have six children.
8. Routine. You mean Pentecostal Standard Time, showing up thirty minutes late every Sunday? Or Baptist Savings Time, showing up an hour before the choir so as to get a good seat?
Not as funny as they could be. I'm still suffering spiritual PTSD. Seriously, I could never take a child to church. I just couldn't.
I am familiar with all of this because my mother also had a key to the church and was on the church staff as a paid musician. The trips and social events were always fun for me as a kid, but as soon as you voice any doubts about ANYTHING or start asking hard questions they can't or won't answer, it begins to be a problem. For me, that started around age 16, my openly asking hard questions of the church elders, and I completely stopped going at around age 17. I too, still have flashbacks of a lot of really bad shit that went on in that church from blatant racism to affairs among the members, hurtful gossip, ostracism of certain people, cliques, and so on.
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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!
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Re: Non-religious reasons to take your kid to church August 14, 2012 |
I say no. Don't take children to church for the reason you gave.
Fortunately, except for a brief time when I was very young and again briefly when I was in eighth grade, my parents seldom went to church. My view was this: I have to get up early five days a week to go to school; why must I get up early on Sunday to go to Sunday school and church too? By the latter time, I was already realizing the whole Skydaddy deal was bogus anyway and I wasn't getting a thing from going. It probably helped that the family was Lutheran moderates and not fundie or Catholic. My paternal grandmother pushed a little to get my brother and myself confirmed in the Lutheran church, but I wasn't interested and my parents didn't push me to go anyway (to their great credit). In adulthood I've set foot in church only for the occasional relative's wedding.
You won't find true friends in church. You'll find hypocrites, nuts, and people who are after something from you instead. However, you could look at all that as an early introduction to life in general for a child if you really don't like that child...
Fortunately, except for a brief time when I was very young and again briefly when I was in eighth grade, my parents seldom went to church. My view was this: I have to get up early five days a week to go to school; why must I get up early on Sunday to go to Sunday school and church too? By the latter time, I was already realizing the whole Skydaddy deal was bogus anyway and I wasn't getting a thing from going. It probably helped that the family was Lutheran moderates and not fundie or Catholic. My paternal grandmother pushed a little to get my brother and myself confirmed in the Lutheran church, but I wasn't interested and my parents didn't push me to go anyway (to their great credit). In adulthood I've set foot in church only for the occasional relative's wedding.
You won't find true friends in church. You'll find hypocrites, nuts, and people who are after something from you instead. However, you could look at all that as an early introduction to life in general for a child if you really don't like that child...
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