More assumptions that parent = more mature

I was talking with a friend about a fun party that DH and I went to on Wednesday night. Loads of friends and acquaintences I see regularly, drinks, conversation, etc. A third person who was nearby chimed in with, "Yeah, the husband and I used to do that, but we've kinda moved on. We're in a different chapter in our lives, I guess." True. They chose the kids route.

Later on I figured out what chapped my hide about it. It wasn't a 'must be nice' bingo, or condemning our decisions to go out with friends. She was making the lofty assumption that losing interest in an activity means you've outgrown it. I guess it's another variation on the parent route being inherently more mature. There are several activities I don't do anymore. In some cases it's because I AM more mature and have outgrown 'em. But in other cases, it's just that I lost interest. I don't look down on people who still enjoy those ones.

I wasn't bestest buds with everyone at the party on Wednesday, but some of the people in attendance are my chosen family, and having fun with them is important to me! They are friends who will always have my back, and I always have theirs. I've known some of them for over 20 years. Maybe the parent who chimed in doesn't have friends like that anymore. I've noticed that with childed folks...their friendships take backseat, or get tossed entirely.

Anyway...just had to vent.

Yeah, living with shit filled diapers, constant screaming, no sleep whatsoever, being a slave to another human being, and losing all of your free time is definitely 'moving on' in a much more mature direction.eyes2

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I miss my little feather baby.

Well, in my 20s I did think I would likely have kids one day but I outgrew that choice.

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From a bottle cap message on a Magic Hat #9 beer: Condoms Prevent Minivans
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I want to pick up a bus full of unruly kids and feed them gummi bears and crack, then turn them loose in Hobby Lobby to ransack the place. They will all be wearing T shirts that say "You Could Have Prevented This."

Breeders do this to each other, not just to the child free. I was at a dinner party recently, where about half the couples had kids and the other half didn't. A friend of mine ( father of three) was talking about an art-house movie that he and the wife had seen the previous weekend. One of the "I can only talk about being a mommy" moos chimed in with a smarmy "that sounds a lot more interesting than "some random kid flick" that "whatever her kids names are" made me watch over and over last weekend." The moment any parent ( and in my experience, it's usually the father) tries to be a person and not just a parent or do anything not "family oriented" some other breeder will put him in his place. Totally sad.

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navi8orgirl
Well, in my 20s I did think I would likely have kids one day but I outgrew that choice.

smile Yeah I guess you moved on to another chapter.

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freedomchick
Breeders do this to each other, not just to the child free. I was at a dinner party recently, where about half the couples had kids and the other half didn't. A friend of mine ( father of three) was talking about an art-house movie that he and the wife had seen the previous weekend. One of the "I can only talk about being a mommy" moos chimed in with a smarmy "that sounds a lot more interesting than "some random kid flick" that "whatever her kids names are" made me watch over and over last weekend." The moment any parent ( and in my experience, it's usually the father) tries to be a person and not just a parent or do anything not "family oriented" some other breeder will put him in his place. Totally sad.

This is another form of attention whoring. Mostly moos do this, but I've seen this from duhs as well. They're trying to make themselves look like the better paaarent.
"You saw an art house film with your wife? Well, clearly I care about my kids more than you do, because I sat with them and watched kiddy movies over and over again. See what a good paaarent I am?"

I loathe the way so many Moos say things like that and it's nearly always in that subtle condescending Moo-Way too. I especially hate it when new Moos say shit like, "You wouldn't be....(fill in the blank) if you had a BABY at home or kids to consider, etc.....One Moo-Cunt I recall saying once at an office party, "This is a rare treat for those of us with little responsibilities waiting on us at home!" AS IF no one else has any responsibilities unless they are a cow. :headbrick

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!

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kidlesskim
I loathe the way so many Moos say things like that and it's nearly always in that subtle condescending Moo-Way too. I especially hate it when new Moos say shit like, "You wouldn't be....(fill in the blank) if you had a BABY at home or kids to consider, etc.....One Moo-Cunt I recall saying once at an office party, "This is a rare treat for those of us with little responsibilities waiting on us at home!" AS IF no one else has any responsibilities unless they are a cow. :headbrick

That always pissed me off too. Especially if I've been told that AFTER I met my daily responsibility quota (payed the bills, finished homework, fed the cat, cooked dinner). If I want to take a nice long shower and lay back drinking a big 'ol glass of wine in my skimpy pajamas while watching fucking POKE'MON, imma do it! And you know why? Because I finished my bus-i-ness! So whenever I hear that bullshit I always want to look at those bitches and say: I DO have responsilibilities moo-cunt! I can just work my ass off and get them done so I can have a life at the end of the day! It isnt my fault if you can never do what you want to do, that's your issue. Now go be jealous somewhere else, I have a gay bar to attend!

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So.. We know that food and water are running out, with overpopulation and all... Yet people keep on poppin' out those babies! I guess they want to have their baby and eat it too...

My top reason is that parenting gives you a free license to be selfish based purely on the fact that you're being selfish for an emanation of your own self. The illusion that what you do to benefit your children benefits them solely is a fallacy. Every parent benefits from the benefits that their children receive. Henceforth, it gives one a license to perpetuate a dog-eat-dog mentality that I perceive to be amoral. Parents say that their children are their greatest loves, what they forget to add is that they are their ONLY loves and only because their children are a reflection of themselves. I prefer to be able to love multiple people and have lasting relationships of many types and possess the essential core value of empathy for all than to restrict myself to an echo chamber of ego-masturbation and self-serving chicanery.

In short: Not parenting makes you a better person.

"but I collect toy robots, so..."

I would love to see that collection. I collect toys also. I refuse to totally grow up

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I miss my little feather baby.

Awesome snarky sharky
" I have a gay bar to attend!"
to paraphrase a saying, "It's Raining Men SOMEWHERE!".

Daaaamn right. :satan

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So.. We know that food and water are running out, with overpopulation and all... Yet people keep on poppin' out those babies! I guess they want to have their baby and eat it too...

My top reason is that parenting gives you a free license to be selfish based purely on the fact that you're being selfish for an emanation of your own self. The illusion that what you do to benefit your children benefits them solely is a fallacy. Every parent benefits from the benefits that their children receive. Henceforth, it gives one a license to perpetuate a dog-eat-dog mentality that I perceive to be amoral. Parents say that their children are their greatest loves, what they forget to add is that they are their ONLY loves and only because their children are a reflection of themselves. I prefer to be able to love multiple people and have lasting relationships of many types and possess the essential core value of empathy for all than to restrict myself to an echo chamber of ego-masturbation and self-serving chicanery.

In short: Not parenting makes you a better person.

Mmhmm, Moos are so mature that they can't even be responsible for themselves. Most of their kids are mistakes, so obviously Moo couldn't be responsible about BC. They go for long stretches without bathing, so they aren't responsible about hygiene. Hell, sometimes they won't even be responsible for the brats they claim make them so much more mature. How often do breeders bring their bastards into crowded places and assume everyone else will be delighted to watch them so Moo can pretend to be one of us lowly, immature folks for a little while?

People who look down their nose at others for being immature are usually just boring and have no lives, so they accuse people who actually do fun or productive things of being "immature." That's fine with me - I'd rather be immature and enjoying myself than being "mature" by their standards, sitting at home, watching Finding Nemo for the 15th time in 2 days and scrubbing shit off the walls.

There's a difference between being an adult and growing up - being an adult is a good thing, but growing up (well, growing up 100%) is fucking boring. I'll be an adult, but I'm never growing up because I'm not done having fun yet.

The older I get, the more sure I am that I don't want to have kids. It has nothing to do with maturity. I know some 55-year olds who can drink my 30-something ass under the table and they are more "mature" than I am. Maturity does not equate with desire to wipe asses and go to bed at 8:00. But remember...PMYABP!

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Snark Shark

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drake
"but I collect toy robots, so..."

I would love to see that collection. I collect toys also. I refuse to totally grow up

heard of Shogun Warriors? those are the robot toys I collect, along w/ various non-robot toys!

I've heard of them. I don't collect robot toys, but I do collect a lot of die-cast toys. TOO many.

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I miss my little feather baby.

I always connect maturity in parents with excuriating boredom.

We here take care of our own responsibilities too. I have anger control issues, so I have a responsibility to not be a father. If I had kids, they’d just follow my bad example.

P.S.: I’m the only one of my mom’s five kids with no kids of their own. Some of my nieces and nephews have kids too.

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Snark Shark

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felisdomestica
I always connect maturity in parents with excuriating boredom.

mmm-hmmm!!

every chyld related activity is either ANNOYING or BORING.

as a child, I often observed other kids' "obviously mature" moms chatted with each other. I can't decide whether the child related activities made them vapid, annoying, and boring...or it is because they are vapid, annoying, and boring so they sprog.

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felisdomestica
I can't decide whether the child related activities made them vapid, annoying, and boring...or it is because they are vapid, annoying, and boring so they sprog.

After watching the degeneration of several kindergarten/ 1st grade teachers from humans capable of adult conversation into vapid, annoying, and boring 'teechers'; who act like 5 year olds and speak to everyone in pseudobabytalkese, I lean toward #1.

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Snark Shark

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drake

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Snark Shark

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drake
"but I collect toy robots, so..."

I would love to see that collection. I collect toys also. I refuse to totally grow up

heard of Shogun Warriors? those are the robot toys I collect, along w/ various non-robot toys!

I've heard of them. I don't collect robot toys, but I do collect a lot of die-cast toys. TOO many.

cars? other vehicles?

The BIG robots are plastic, while the small versions were part metal, part plastic. Those had some vehicles to go with them, also.

Cars, trucks, war vehicles, military jets, helicopters (both civilian and military), tanks, etc. Yeah, I never played with pink girl shit when I was a kid. If dolls/barbies were given to me, they ended up disected.



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I miss my little feather baby.

When someone says "Oh, it must be nice!" I say "It is! I can't imagine my life any different! I LOVE doing "x" with DH!" :bedmadelie moos.

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What is a home without children? Quiet. ~Henny Youngman

I don't want people who want to dance, I want people who have to dance. ~George Balanchine

"I took the batteries out of my biological clock and put them in my vibrator"

I know exactly ONE person who was turned significantly more mature by parenthood; one of my coworkers. Prior to that she was party-hearty to an unhealthy extreme, dealing pot, and generally on the road to a drunken car wreck or a drug bust. And that is just what she's been willing to tell her male coworker-friend. (me)

For the vast majority of hardcore party-people, sudden parenthood will be - at best - a long and hard life shift that will suck for everyone concerned. And for pretty much everyone in general, sprogging just puts you under a microscope and reveals who you are close-up.

PMYABP is such an idiotic concept. Take a look at the thousands of unwed young mothers on welfare who weren't even ready to take care of themselves independantly, let alone a baybee. Buying a car does not make you a good driver and having a child does not make you mature.

I have maintained some interests I have had since I was a kid. They are part of who I am, so no I won't "outgrow" them. I see people struggling with this a lot as they get older. They think they should be doing something appropriate for their stage of life. It may not fit in with who they are or what they want, and they get confused or depressed. That old Life Script, sigh.

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randomcfchick

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navi8orgirl
Well, in my 20s I did think I would likely have kids one day but I outgrew that choice.

smile Yeah I guess you moved on to another chapter.

THIS^

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Snark Shark

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drake
"but I collect toy robots, so..."

I would love to see that collection. I collect toys also. I refuse to totally grow up

heard of Shogun Warriors? those are the robot toys I collect, along w/ various non-robot toys!

I have heard of them and I had some when I was a kid. Nothing wrong with that. I had them for a long time then as an adult, ended up selling them on Ebay years ago.

JD

If you aren't mature and responsible when you don't have kids, you aren't going to magically become so after having kids. Look at all the idiot Moos who kill their kids and try to foist the responsibility on somebody or something else and the Moos who defend them.

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"Why children take so long to grow? They eat and drink like pig and give nothing back. Must find way to accelerate process..."
- Dr. Yi Suchong, Bioshock

"Society does not need more children; but it does need more loved children. Quite literally, we cannot afford unloved children - but we pay heavily for them every day. There should not be the slightest communal concern when a woman elects to destroy the life of her thousandth-of-an-ounce embryo. But all society should rise up in alarm when it hears that a baby that is not wanted is about to be born."
- Garrett Hardin

"I feel like there's a message involved here somehow, but then I couldn't stop laughing at all the plotholes, like the part when North Korea has food."
- Youtube commentor referring to a North Korean cartoon.

"Reality is a bitch when it slowly crawls out of your vagina and shits in your lap."
- Reddit comment

"Bitch wants a baby, so we're gonna fuck now. #bareback"
- Cambion

Oh whatever. Abortion doctors are crimestoppers."
- Miss Hannigan

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paragon schnitzophonic
If you aren't mature and responsible when you don't have kids, you aren't going to magically become so after having kids. Look at all the idiot Moos who kill their kids and try to foist the responsibility on somebody or something else and the Moos who defend them.

This is why the "you aren't mature until you've had a chyuld" bingo annoys me so much. Do the people that say this realise that they've basically admitted to being immature when they undertook the MASSIVE decision to create and raise another human? A child "raising" another child is never going to work, and breeders are nothing more than overgrown children.

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mypersonality.info

"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who haven't got it."
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