Better say "Hi" before Moo punches you in the face

From where else, but Jezebel:

http://jezebel.com/5989004/when-parenting-starts-to-feel-like-junior-high?popular=true

When Parenting Starts to Feel like Junior High
Jordana Horn

Dear Mom in Music Class,

For a brief second last week, I wanted to punch you in the face. True story.

Sure, I'm an overtired and overworked mom of four kids. I'll concede that maybe I was a little closer to the tipping point than a normal, well-rested human being would be.

But when I came into the room and said "Hi!" to you, and you slowly and deliberately looked me up and down and then turned back to your friend, not saying hi, there was A Moment.

It was the kind of moment in which crimes are committed: a blinding flash of red rage that makes ears hot and blood boil. It was brief, and then it passed.

But in that moment, I swear: I wanted to put down my toddler, walk over to you and Punch. You. In. The Face. In my mind, I ran through a scenario that made that scene with Lucy Liu and Uma Thurman in Kill Bill look…well, like toddler music class.

In my brain, I Quentin Tarantinoed your ass.

Note: I have never punched a human being in the face in my entire life. And in all likelihood, I never will.

But here was my inner monologue during that moment:

"What. The. F$CK!! Who the hell are YOU, Miss Too Good For Me, to not say hi back like ANY NORMAL FREAKING HUMAN BEING WOULD? [Insert approximately seven random expressions of profanity.]"

Let's back up. Maybe I'm taking all this way too personally. Maybe you didn't hear me, though all signs point to the contrary. Maybe you are a shy person, the utter opposite of me. The fact is, I really don't know you well enough. All I know is that our kids are in class together, which for me, gives free license to say a simple "Hi" and be acknowledged.

Maybe you judged me. Maybe you judged me "unworthy" because I was wearing a ratty old fleece of my husband's, pants that can't decide if they're exercise pants or pajamas, and sneakers that were purchased a few children ago. Maybe I am too unkempt to talk to–you always look extremely put-together. You, in contrast to my sometimes-matching get-ups, show up to class wearing designer ensembles and awesome boots. Or maybe I'm too fat for you to talk to–your body is one I'd have aspired to before having kids, let alone after.

Maybe my inferiority complex is talking louder than my sense of reason at this point.

I'm a week removed from the situation, and I'm still wondering: why did I, a rational and semi-smart woman, react so strongly to what you did–or at least, what I thought you did?

Being a mom–even to my fourth kid, it turns out–sometimes strongly resembles a flashback to junior high school. It becomes clear quite readily that there are the "cool moms" and the "not so cool" moms, and that at least in some circles, appearance is everything. As an adult, you'd never think of shunning someone in the workplace based on what kinds of shoes they wear (okay, maybe you would if you work for Vogue), but now that you're a mom? Any child-oriented "Mommy and Me" activity suddenly brings out the child in us, and not in a good way–more in a "Am I cool enough to sit at the right lunch table?" kind of way.

Maybe every mom of every kid every age has this internal monologue going. It's a toxic cauldron of insecurities and sleeplessness and stress. Maybe even the moms who look put-together have some crap going on in their lives that you wouldn't want to touch with a 10-foot pole. Maybe everyone's insecurities could be taken down a peg if we just acknowledged that each one of us is a parent–by definition, a tough long haul no matter how good your kid is–and that we're on the same team, no matter what we're wearing. And maybe we need to remember those lessons we learned way back in junior high–that we need to try to see who people really are, beyond the superficialities of the surface. Maybe we need to give each other–and I'm talking to myself here, not just you–the benefit of the doubt a little more often.

And maybe the only remedy for all of this is to just remember we're not moody pre-teens, but we're adults, and adults say hi to each other.

There's music class again this week. And lady, I'm going to say hi, like it or not. And I'm going to smile. And I'm going to be friendly.

And if you don't say hi back, I'm not going to think about punching you in the face and it's all going to be okay.

But I hope you will. Say hi back, that is. Not punch me in the face.

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"[GFG's pregnancy is] kind of like at the stables where that one dumb, ugly-ass mare broke out of her corral one day and got herself screwed by the equally fugly colt that was due to be gelded the same afternoon."- Shiny

What the hell kind of raging, psychotic hysteria is this?

ETA--before I opened the thread, I thought it was going to be a post about a moomie all mad because some person didn't engage with her toadler when it started going hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi
LOL

Insecure bitch needs to take some Valium, STFU and get a damn hobby that doesn't invovle her kids! s Oh yeah, fuck all the so called "cool moms", they're usually a bunch of shallow, vapid, frigid cunts that are still holding on to the "glory" of high- school when they were the pretty bitches (think Megan Fox in Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen) that used to have everybody under their thumb. To level- headed outsiders, these stupid fucks look and sound pathetic. Besides most "hotties" turn into "notties" once they shit out kids, they just don't want to admit it!

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night owl
What the hell kind of raging, psychotic hysteria is this?

^^ This.

I was trying to think of something I could relate to - but I don't feel any urges toward violence. Especially over someone not saying 'hi' or other stupid crap eyes2

1 800 NUT HOUSE

Int'l #

01 999 888 NUTHAUS

Moo clearly needs a hobby. That is all.

Between the article about post-pregnancy mental hysteria and now this, it's a wonder that mad cows don't get shot more often. Pregnancy turns you into a fucking psychotic moron, and excuse me for opting out!

Just think, any one of us reasonably fit (under 400 pounds) and well-groomed (clean hair and clothes) childfree women would be a target if we happened to be distracted while the moo grunts hello.

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"[GFG's pregnancy is] kind of like at the stables where that one dumb, ugly-ass mare broke out of her corral one day and got herself screwed by the equally fugly colt that was due to be gelded the same afternoon."- Shiny

I read this, and basically thought that this Moo, in her heart, knows that she looks like complete crap and has let herself go to hell because she's a Bizzy Mawm. She's totally jealous of the other Moo, who probably bathes, looks nice and replaces her sneakers when they smell like foot and baby shit. Her husband probably fucks her with his eyes closed, and the entire thing lasts five minutes. I bet when the kids are at school or preschool, she indulges in really fattening foods, chick lit movies and Cosmo magazine.

People can be a good mirror of ourselves. We sometimes rage at things that are a hated part of us, but we see in other people. This woman knows that she's a sloppy, repulsive mess but instead of saying "Wow, I really should turn myself around" she chooses to do the immature thing and lash out at the person she's actually admiring.

If anyone is acting like they are in 7th grade, it's her. I don't think anyone ever taught her that not everyone is going to like you. So, her pathetic attempts at approval are going to be shot down week after week.

She really needs some SSRIs and a few good seshies on the therapists couch. Dumbass.

"People can be a good mirror of ourselves. We sometimes rage at things that are a hated part of us, but we see in other people. This woman knows that she's a sloppy, repulsive mess but instead of saying "Wow, I really should turn myself around" she chooses to do the immature thing and lash out at the person she's actually admiring"

Yep! This! ^^^^

I had a similar encounter with a mooo nutbag in a stress-management program, who told the entire room she wanted to punch my face because I used the bathroom during break, and she didn't have time to use the bathroom after me and smoke a cigarette. Seriously. Effing Crazy Nutbag.

She was frumpy, fat and slovenly, I was thin, blonde and well put-together. I wonder what brought out her rage? I have to say I agree with the mirror theory. Mooos hate the fact that some women are more attractive, better-dressed or whatever, and instead of trying to improve themselves, they lash out at the other woman.

Needless to say, this mooo cunt did NOT help me with my stress management! I avoided her the entire time I went through the program. I had a feeling that she would have punched me in the face, if given the right opportunity.

If the "perp" in question turned BACK TO HER FRIEND, that means she was otherwise engaged before the self-important moo felt that it was perfectly okay to interrupt her. The shitty look was therefore warranted, but she would have been justified in telling moo that she should have learned manners in junior high, so she wouldn't be all butthurt when someone didn't want to drop what they were doing, just to acknowledge her.

Even if the "offender" HADN'T been obviously engaged with someone/something, she is absolutely within her rights to NOT acknowledge someone if she doesn't goddamned feel like it.

This one here is an EASY arm chair psychologist diagnosis! I can read between the lines, and she makes it so easy, and arrive at the following conclusions:


1)She more than likely didn't just walk into the music class and say, "HI!". My mother taught private piano lessons to kids for over FIFTY years, so I grew up around how Moos behave in these situations. She taught some at her home studio, some at their private schools, and throughout the year she also held group classes, and regardless of which way the lesson was set up, there was ALWAYS, every fucking year, a cow in the bunch who consistently INTRUDED on the lessons, before, during, and after. They'd BOLT into the music room like a one cow stampede, not gingerly walk in quietly, and literally disrupt another kid's lesson as if they weren't even there and bleat on and on about her kid, it's lesson, how they would have to miss next week because Mee Maw was getting a corn removed form her toe, etc......

Many times the other moos waiting on their kids would get pissed because they were PAYING for a 30 minute lesson and THIS cow would usually waste 5 minutes of it if she could. THIS is why the woman didn't speak to her, she didn't want to encourage her to run her loud mouth any longer than she usually did, I GUARANTEE it.:yeah

2)She clearly has more kids than she can handle and uses her imagined stellar Mooing skills as an excuse to be a fucking slob and acts like she's special for being a moo. This doesn't fly with OTHER moos and she can't stand being called out on her slovenly laziness by her own kind. THIS is part of the reason why she's so angry.

3)She's envious of other women with kids who can manage their lives better than she and when they look great and aren't fat enough to weigh in on a fucking meat scale, she automatically assumes they are mean bitches. Since they too are moos she doesn't have the, "She's just a mean, selfish, childless, woman who won't have anyone to take care of her in her old age and it's ALL worth it in the end" card to play. That must be VERY frustrating for a cow like herself!

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!

This isn't even about parenting. It's about this moo being a complete psycho with a serious inferiority complex. Don't bring kids into this, you raging ham beast! It's about YOUR reaction to SOMEONE ELSE'S reaction to you demanding attention from them!

I mean WOW....What a flippin' nutjob! XD

I was gonna say insecure much? Yes your inferiority complex is talking if someone who is engaged in conversation when you rudely interrupt opts to ignore your rudeness and return to her conversation. Double points if you know you dress like a bag lady and they do not.

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From a bottle cap message on a Magic Hat #9 beer: Condoms Prevent Minivans
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I want to pick up a bus full of unruly kids and feed them gummi bears and crack, then turn them loose in Hobby Lobby to ransack the place. They will all be wearing T shirts that say "You Could Have Prevented This."

sounds like someone doesn't like the life choices she's made; that is no one's fault but her own. nobody forced her to have 4 kids and turn into a fat frump.

:bedmadelie

Just a run of the mill jealous post-partum bitch who was defeated by the complexity of a condom. Yawn.

Nothing is sacred with moos; they blog about the contents of their panties, their husbands' dicks, their "baby-dancing," the contents of their brats' diapers, so I suppose their personal crazy is also fodder for public airing. Here I was thinking that it was dignified to keep your more insane thoughts private.

If a little kid says "hi" to me, I say hi, back. The first time. A kid will never learn manners, if they aren't shown any.

However, I won't tolerate being pestered.