"Readers Respond: Has Your Special-Needs Parenting Experience Been a Nightmare?"

http://specialchildren.about.com/u/ua/youradviceneeded/Has-Your-Special-Needs-Parenting-Experience-Been-A-Nightmare.htm



From the article: Books on Parenting Issues
Some parents of children with disabilities are able to see blessings in their situation and find reasons for thankfulness, but for others, the picture is far more bleak. If your life as the parent of a child with special needs has been a nightmare, write about it here, and find some understanding and common experience in the stories of others. Share your story:



Thankful? Not on your life!
My experience has been a nightmare that never ever ends. It adversely affected my other son. My disabled son is 42 now, going on 14. Nearly every week, he has an explosive blow out and police get involved (if not the fire department, emergency rooms, psychiatric wards). He’s been tazered a lot. When he was young, his father disappeared and never sent a dime in child support and I could never make enough—even with 2 jobs with shiftwork-- to afford the proper assessment and help for him. It still cost me a FORTUNE getting as much help as I was able to get for him. The stress and overwork ruined my health (not that my son's traumatic birth didn't do enough damage). No way am I remotely thankful for this experience, even though now I can handle anyone--even psychopaths. Yes, I pray for my son all the time, but even God isn't enough. The nightmare goes on. I can not imagine 42 YEARS of dealing with the aftermath of shitting a Violent Tard Man-Boy, not even for a minute! It sounds like the He-Beast gave her a nasty case of Ravaged Cooter Syndrome™ in the process too! Since birth control of all types were available 42 years ago, I suppose she got the baby showers, casseroles, and festivities she so craved like all moos do. Then, predictably after her husband realized he had sired a Tard, he disappeared, She gave up living life, worked all the time just to support it and get it help when she could working on an assembly line AND did it with a leaking VaginaButthole™, spent every waking moment and every dime she had on this waste of space, and now that he's been grown for over two decades, and she is probably in her 60's, she is STILL tied down to the monster! I am assuming she doesn't go around saying, "It was ALL worth it!", at least I hope not. :smn


no help here
The town of Albany GA has adopted the nickname,"The Good-Life City"! Yea, right. There is no help whatsoever here in this town for parents of special need children. I have left no stone unturned in trying to find help. I have had to resign from many good paying jobs because there is no centers to help with after school care for children in high school age. I refused to let my other son sacrifice his life of playing ball and singing in the chorus at school just to sit home and care for a child that he did'nt bring into this world. Even though he had done this last year in order for me to keep my job; It just would'nt be fair to him, and he just may start to resent his brother for the way he is. I thank God for both of my children. However, doing this alone can be very overwhelming. Expecially in a town that just doesn't get it. Sometimes I wish that others could walk a day in my shoes to understand the fear of not having enough to support my child, yet loving them enough keep trying.Here's another Moo going it alone with a Man sized Teen-Tard. Note how she says she won't burden her other "normal" son with baby sitting the tard, but then in the next sentence she admits he has baby sat the Tard for the past YEAR, which is an eternity when you are a teen. She predictably thinks "the village" should help AND, after all her grief, she still thanks, "God for both of my children". This one here probably goes around saying Tard-Teen is a "blessing".:BS


I Understand!
I'm reluctant to say I can empathize, though my son is still a teenager and I still hold out hope for a positive outcome. But, I admire this person's honesty, since in our society it is never OK to be this brutally honest about one's own child. We are socialized to think we must parent, uncomplainingly and sacrificially, no matter the disruption to our lives; no matter the abuse; no matter the health-taking toll these children exact. It's not right--parents this overwhelmed and resentful need HELP, not judgment!! I hate to break it to her, but if her Tard is still a pain in the ass and he's reached the Violent Teen-Tard stage, there IS NO, "...hope for a positive outcome".:Violin

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!

If the first tard was born 42 years ago, I bet she did not have the baby showers they do today. The cult of the babeeee was not anywhere like it is today 42 years ago, 32 years ago, heck, 22 years ago. And there was definitely no access to legal or safe abortion. Or effective pre-natal screening (assuming her tard was a pre-cooked kind, not a sluice-trauma made tard). Sounds like a miserable experience and I appreciate her honesty about it. I too somehow get feeling she is not out telling other women it is the most amazing experience EVAH!

Not wanting a tard is one of my many top reasons for not seeing moohood as a viable option. You never know. I roll my eyes when I see wannamoos go on about how they would looooove any baby, and would never abort a tard. Easy to say before it is your life. Some even wish for one (see: Kelle Hampton fangirls). :drool Yeah, I'd like to introduce them to my great aunt and great uncle who have a nearly 50-year old Downs "child". They are exhausted. They wish they had option of prenatal screening & abortion.

I feel for the first woman. She probably figured on the Lifescript, as many did in the early 70s. Screening techniques nonexistent for many forms of retardation or birth defects, abortion is not legal, basically you are stuck. When the Godlenpenis turns out to be a less than Kodak moment, hubs heads for the hills.

The rest...well, there is no reason to have a kid like this if you don't want to.

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From a bottle cap message on a Magic Hat #9 beer: Condoms Prevent Minivans
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I want to pick up a bus full of unruly kids and feed them gummi bears and crack, then turn them loose in Hobby Lobby to ransack the place. They will all be wearing T shirts that say "You Could Have Prevented This."

These are very sad endings, I wish this on no one, the parents, the kyds born like this, awful. At least one of them points out that our society doesn't accept people telling the truth of the hell this is. That's a major problem, lack of honesty in our society. I get so tired of the "touching story" bits pounded into us over and over when you know that they are just trying to dress up some version of living hell. No one is ever allowed to say "I'd rather be dead that live with that", which is what always comes to my mind.

We should bring back the community housing and asylum. It would be cheaper and more humane than forcing parents to take care of the tards.

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“I was talking about children that have not been properly house-trained. Left to their own impulses and indulged by doting or careless parents almost all children are yahoos. Loud, selfish, cruel, unaffectionate, jealous, perpetually striving for attention, empty-headed, for ever prating or if words fail them simply bawling, their voices grown huge from daily practice: the very worst company in the world. But what I dislike even more than the natural child is the affected child, the hulking oaf of seven or eight that skips heavily about with her hands dangling in front of her -- a little squirrel or bunny-rabbit -- and prattling away in a baby's voice.”


― Patrick O'Brian, The Truelove


lib'-er-ty: the freedom given to you to make the wrong decision, based on the reasoned belief that you will normally make the right one.

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t.
We should bring back the community housing and asylum. It would be cheaper and more humane than forcing parents to take care of the tards.

I agree. There used to be those in the US, but they dismantled that due to 'disability rights.' I could understand a lot of the reason for takng them down, but there are still instances where these places should have been kept operating. Things like this, where the woman is tied down with a child she will be increasingly unable to cope with, one who will get stronger and bigger as time goes on with her getting older and weaker.

About the woman with the 42–year-old man-tard, things were indeed different in 1970 as mentioned: no prenatal screening of note, abortion not available, etc. But one thing was true then as now: she could still have given the child for adoption, especially after Studster the boy-husband bolted. It must have been apparent early on that the kyd had a problem. Her decision to keep Tardley anyway speaks volumes about her wannabe martyrdom.

Also, when crackdowns on deadbeat fathers began in the mid–1980s, she could have pursued Studster for support including back amounts that might have been ordered. Again, she did not do so. Martyrdom again.

Bed. Made. Lie. We've seen far too much of this with older pahrents of tards, who—contrary to all their mooing and lowing now—did have at least the choice of adopting out. She chose not to. Waahhh.