Why Doesn't Bratleigh Appreciate Everything I Do For Her?

I come across this a lot lately as part of my work, which sometimes involves what might loosely be described as "counselling."

Breeders have hellspawn children, frequently on the autistic and/or mental illness spectrum (there is a SHIT more of this going on than you can even imagine; seriously, something in the water or whatever; massive amounts of people with children not even remotely functional).

The child at some point has their psychosis, mental disorder, or mental illness kick in.

The parent usually does all the "right" things -- therapy, evaluations, blah blah blah I'm bored even typing about it.

Then they wail, "I'm worried that I'll never have a real friendship with Bratleigh! And s/he doesn't seem to appreciate everything I do for him/her!"

Have you ever heard such fucking nonsense?

Children are fucking narcissists, even if they aren't mentally ill, until about the age of 25.

None of us has the capacity to "appreciate" what our parents do for us until our "self" is completely formed, and that takes a long fucking time. Only then are we mentally or emotionally able to notice others around us in the world and perhaps see that our parents did indeed do a lot for us.

Breeders today need their children to be their friends, their mirrors, their therapists, their lovers --- they want APPRECIATION for, what, making them mac and cheese for 20 years or whatever.

Fuck that.

YOU CHOSE TO HAVE KIDS.

YOU TOOK ON A JOB THAT HAS NO PAY, NO REWARDS.

You don't get to change the agenda mid-stream just because things have gotten tough with your little special snowflake/autard/oppositionally defiant little shit and they're in their teens now, so you can really SEE what a fucking monster they are. You don't get to then demand that they LOVE you and APPRECIATE you, because, to a kid, all you are is a teat that they sucked from or a wallet that gives them money, lodgings and food until they come of age.

When did parunting become promoted as "FUCK, BREED, MAKE INSTANT FRIEND."

My mother and I, while we have a decent enough relationship, are not friends.

And I'm glad she never put that pressure on me as I was becoming a young adult.

I'm hearing SO MUCH LOWING these days from moms who secretly want a post-natal abortion because their kids didn't turn out to give a shit about them at all; yet they act like this is a SURPRISE!

KIDS DON'T CARE ABOUT THEIR PARENTS . IT'S NOT AN EQUAL RELATIONSHIP OF PEERS. AND IT CERTAINLY ISN'T ONE DURING THE TERRIBLE TEEN YEARS.

Get the fuck over it, already. Stop looking to your child to satisfy your every emotional, sexual, personal, creative, spiritual need.

YOU REALLY CAN'T BE THAT FUCKING STUPID.

* end of rant*

I see so much of this crap eyes2

Parunts expect their kids to be life partners and emotional equals. You'd have to be close in age for the emotional, intellectual, and social capabilities to be even remotely close. What in the fucking hell are they expecting from people a generation apart from them?

When did adults stop making friends at work or school or the neighbourhood or bingo-bloody-games?

So you get the festivities, the udder rubs and ass licks, plus all the tax cuts and work perks denied to CF taxpayers. What in the hell else are they expecting from spawning? Especially when the wrinkly old ass wiping is still a few decades away eyes2

Wish they'd get off their spawns' backs and stop creating these codependent, anxious people that the rest of us have to deal with.

Why should many of us appreciate our pahrunts? We didn't ask to be here and in many of our cases, they were horrific shit parents that left us with a lifelong legacy of emotional baggage. Some of us were abused or abandoned, or worse.

And I'm supposed to be *grateful*?

Sorry, I don't have time to be thankful to my breeders for fucking without protection. I am too busy trying to make a go of it in this world.

This describes my neighbors to a T. Mr. and Mrs. EN are always bemoaning how the boys are "so different" from them, and that they aren't enjoying a "friendship" with them.

Mr. and Mrs. EN are two people who did exactly as their parents wanted and are in their 50s and still living underneath their parent's thumb like children. So, they expect their children to be just like them...and are upset because the kids did their own thing. It somehow makes the kids "ungrateful". After all, they invested years of time, money and tears into attempting to form their kids into a mini-me!!

Just more evidence that breeding is folly of the narcissistic.

Yeah, so many people would NEVER consciously CHOOSE their parunts of origin, so why on earth should they be expected to be friends with them?

I think everybody needs to study Maslow and his concept of self-actualization and how this is a noble, wonderful thing to pursue in your own life; it means being IMMUNE to the opinions of others; it means doing things that elevate YOU to higher levels of joy, functionality, well-being, and abundance, and pursuing this in almost a spiritual sense -- as a real "prime directive" that moves you forward in terms of your own personal evolution. If you own this drive instead of displacing it onto your kids and so on, you can experience so much well-being in your life. Breeders have given up on this and are ANGRY and DEPRESSED and RESENTFUL about it. Thus the weird expectations around children.

I love how the Universe has a truly perverse sense of humor. A doctors' family ends up with autards. A family of engineers and scientists ends up with artsy fartsy kids who want to play in a professional orchestra or be on Broadway. Meanwhile, an arts-oriented family ends up with kids with zero interest in anything artistic. This is the way life works. Your kids are definitely not your clones; they have their own talents, drives, weaknesses, and interests; why can't breeders EVER see this? Is it only people who work one step removed from direct parenting -- teachers, EMT's, counsellors, babysitters, etc. - who can see things as they are? And if so, why does nobody EVER listen to us, especially if we're childfree? BLEAH!

I have observed over the years that if a parent's attitude is anything other than they want the child to grow up to do whatever makes it happy, regardless of what it is as long as its legal, they are generally SORELY disappointed.

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If YOU are the "exception" to what I am saying, then why does my commentary bother you so much?
I don't hate your kids, I HATE YOU!

Appreciate your ass for what?

When you drag children here, you cause them to need to be cared for.

I've never met a breeder who had more than 2 braincells to rub together.

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"I have found little that is 'good' about human beings on the whole. In my experience most of them are trash, no matter whether they publicly subscribe to this or that ethical doctrine or to none at all."
~Sigmund Freud

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peace-n-quiet
Appreciate your ass for what?

When you drag children here, you cause them to need to be cared for.

I've never met a breeder who had more than 2 braincells to rub together.

Don't they lose them the minute the first cell of rabies appears?

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"Don't you know how to deal with children?!"
"I don't like animals who act on instinct."
I think you're on to something Akihiko.

My parents were and are this way, and I'm in my mid 20s... they made sure I had what they thought was the best, latest and greatest of everything and I never appreciated it. They wanted me to grow up to be everything I didn't grow up to be... they say I never appreciate anything they did for me as a sprog.

Maybe because real parents are NOT supposed to do everything for their shitling.

Shitling, at some point during its childhood, will have to learn to feed itself, wipe itself after it shits, do its own goddamn homework, its own laundry, ad nauseum.

The biggest mistake of "parenthood" in our society is the breeders trying to be big buddies to their hellspawn. Because real parenting is Work. Let's face it, when you live in a society where the word "Work" is more dreaded than the F word - Fuck, you have some serious fucking problems.