Pregnant women do these 10 things better than the rest of us.

http://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/10-things-pregnant-women-better-anyone-else-012900061.html

I don't know what to say about this article. The word "biased" comes to mind...

Why aren't barf, waddle, pee, and whine on the list?

That thing someone is calling an article was written by a moo trying to justify being a waste of space and oxygen.

I can't even adequately articulate how stupid that article is.

Well..piggos are much better at giving birth than I am or ever will be, but I think I'll let them have that and go have drinks with a sexy guy after spending a day at work getting paid to do what I love. I'll have to put my plate on the bar table, but I think I can deal with it.

Wouldn't a heightened sense of smell be a curse? I mean some people have bad B.O., and smelling them with a heightened sense of smell would make you puke your brains out, keel over, and die.

The only thing cows can do better than me is suffer from pain.

This was on Yahoo?
Sounds like something more worthy of Cafe Moo.

jbs

Jesus Flapjacks Christ. Being piggo is not a superpower. It's not special. You let a guy cum inside of you, and now your body is suffering all the weirdness that comes with classic parasitism. Congratulations. Let's everyone in the world stop and throw a gigantic nine-month party just for you, because you decided to fuck unprotected. e_e

Heightened olfaction is a definite curse.

Mine was already pretty damned sensitive, but was made much worse with a five-week pignancy. That was 10 years ago, and it's still as bad as ever.

I can fucking smell JAPAN from here.

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audiophile
Jesus Flapjacks Christ. Being piggo is not a superpower. It's not special. You let a guy cum inside of you, and now your body is suffering all the weirdness that comes with classic parasitism. Congratulations. Let's everyone in the world stop and throw a gigantic nine-month party just for you, because you decided to fuck unprotected. e_e

But they are sooo good at taking loads of sperm up their vaginas!!! Let's give them a medal! No,even better,a Nobel prize! Stupid entitled moo bitches :headbrick

"I made human ears today, what have you done?" hahahahahahahahaha OMFG the fact that they don't get how freaking CREEPY that is... is yeah... WOW.

The number 1 thing about commanding a room just proves that most breeders get pregnant for the attention it brings them. I'm starting to feel that a large majority of breeders are just complete narcissistic asshats and they sort of kind of deserve the bullshit life of servitude to a brat they have to live as the cost of being such an attention whore for 9 months.

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shy lurker
Wouldn't a heightened sense of smell be a curse? I mean some people have bad B.O., and smelling them with a heightened sense of smell would make you puke your brains out, keel over, and die.

The only thing cows can do better than me is suffer from pain.

I get that sense of smell thing, which I call my "werewolf sense of smell" every month when I ovulate. It's kind of neat, but unlike pregnancy it doesn't make me want to puke all the time so... mine's actually a superpower and theirs is just a symptom.

5. Restroom Lines
When you have a human head pressing on your bladder, you have a free pass to skip to the front. Guaranteed.

I have kidney issues, Miss Preggy can fuck off to the back of the line!

Let us restructure this list..

10: they can command a room because their pregnant body emits hormones that smell.. Awful. Everyone wants to move away.
9: they can waddle a whole 10 yards before bitching about why they can't park INSIDE the store. Which reminds me..
8: they have the ability to BITCH constantly about their voluntary condition. If its that bad they can get an abortion.
7: they know EXACTLY when they can beg for goodies such as flex time, handouts, push presents and baby showers.
6: they know how to belittle EVERY accomplishment that EVeRyONe has EVER made because they are bloatedasfuck, hear them ROAR.
5: they have the amazing ability to look like shit in anything they wear.
4: they have the ability to be totally useless in any endeavor they were previously a part of Pre-preg.
3: they have an amazing ability to lose all of their friends faster than milk spoils in 90 degree weather. BONUS! They lose their bodies too.
2: they have an amazing ability to post pictures of positive tests, growing pot-bellies, and just-shat loaves on Facebook.
1: they have an amazing ability to lie about how bad they fucked up their lives (quality of lies and whether they work.. notwithstanding)
Bonus! They can open their legs REAAAALLY wide and lay down for five minutes at a go. (Marvelous)

What they cannot do..

10: use birth control
9: keep a man around to be the wallet (only if the man is smart)
8: NOT molest their male spawn (apparently)
7: be arsed to actually parent their loaf.
6: be arse to care about anything else's wants or needs
5: have any compassion for any horrible scenario that doesn't involve children.
4: bend over at odd angles
3: see their feet
2: not act like a grunting barn animal in public
1: swallow

More suggestions are welcome.

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So.. We know that food and water are running out, with overpopulation and all... Yet people keep on poppin' out those babies! I guess they want to have their baby and eat it too...

My top reason is that parenting gives you a free license to be selfish based purely on the fact that you're being selfish for an emanation of your own self. The illusion that what you do to benefit your children benefits them solely is a fallacy. Every parent benefits from the benefits that their children receive. Henceforth, it gives one a license to perpetuate a dog-eat-dog mentality that I perceive to be amoral. Parents say that their children are their greatest loves, what they forget to add is that they are their ONLY loves and only because their children are a reflection of themselves. I prefer to be able to love multiple people and have lasting relationships of many types and possess the essential core value of empathy for all than to restrict myself to an echo chamber of ego-masturbation and self-serving chicanery.

In short: Not parenting makes you a better person.

Um... most of the things on that list are stuff that OTHER people do, not the piggo herself.

And I supposed that makes sense, given the biggest thing piggos do better: feel like the whole fucking world owes them something just for being knocked up.

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lilin_unite
Um... most of the things on that list are stuff that OTHER people do, not the piggo herself.

And I supposed that makes sense, given the biggest thing piggos do better: feel like the whole fucking world owes them something just for being knocked up.

Meh not enough sleep and too much alcohol to care. Lol!

Oh you meant the actual article.. Psssssh.. I'm a derp.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
So.. We know that food and water are running out, with overpopulation and all... Yet people keep on poppin' out those babies! I guess they want to have their baby and eat it too...

My top reason is that parenting gives you a free license to be selfish based purely on the fact that you're being selfish for an emanation of your own self. The illusion that what you do to benefit your children benefits them solely is a fallacy. Every parent benefits from the benefits that their children receive. Henceforth, it gives one a license to perpetuate a dog-eat-dog mentality that I perceive to be amoral. Parents say that their children are their greatest loves, what they forget to add is that they are their ONLY loves and only because their children are a reflection of themselves. I prefer to be able to love multiple people and have lasting relationships of many types and possess the essential core value of empathy for all than to restrict myself to an echo chamber of ego-masturbation and self-serving chicanery.

In short: Not parenting makes you a better person.

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catharsist
Oh you meant the actual article.. Psssssh.. I'm a derp.

Ha ha, yeah.

The dumb bint actually lists "kindness of strangers" as something SHE does. What the fuck.

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sickofbreeders
"I made human ears today, what have you done?" hahahahahahahahaha OMFG the fact that they don't get how freaking CREEPY that is... is yeah... WOW.

The fetus develops over months not over night, silly cows. They also fail human biology and sex ed.

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shy lurker

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sickofbreeders
"I made human ears today, what have you done?" hahahahahahahahaha OMFG the fact that they don't get how freaking CREEPY that is... is yeah... WOW.

The fetus develops over months not over night, silly cows. They also fail human biology and sex ed.

Since they can't tell the difference in fetal development when a fetus is the size of a kidney bean and when it's the size of a grape fruit or the difference between when it looks like a lizard alien and when it almost looks like it could pass as human if you look at it out of the corner of your eye, I'm not surprised.

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sickofbreeders
"I made human ears today, what have you done?" hahahahahahahahaha OMFG the fact that they don't get how freaking CREEPY that is... is yeah... WOW.

It certainly makes me want to respond with "Oh yeah? Well, I collected two sets of human ears today. I'm thinking of making it four." ...followed by a thoughtful stare at moo, then her belly.

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yurble

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sickofbreeders
"I made human ears today, what have you done?" hahahahahahahahaha OMFG the fact that they don't get how freaking CREEPY that is... is yeah... WOW.

It certainly makes me want to respond with "Oh yeah? Well, I collected two sets of human ears today. I'm thinking of making it four." ...followed by a thoughtful stare at moo, then her belly.

Bahahahahahahahahaaaa!!! That's so Wednesday Addams!

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yurble

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sickofbreeders
"I made human ears today, what have you done?" hahahahahahahahaha OMFG the fact that they don't get how freaking CREEPY that is... is yeah... WOW.

It certainly makes me want to respond with "Oh yeah? Well, I collected two sets of human ears today. I'm thinking of making it four." ...followed by a thoughtful stare at moo, then her belly.

LOLOLOL

Leak. They certainly can leak better than the rest of us.

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Snark Shark
"I can fucking smell JAPAN from here."

It smells like Godzilla and sushi!


"Pregnant women do these 10 things better than the rest of us."

1) SHIT

2) FART

3) PISS

4) SWEAT

5) WADDLE

6) SQUAT

7) SIT ALL DAY (months 1-5)

8) LAY DOWN ALL DAY (months 6-9)

9) COMPLAIN ABOUT EVERY LITTLE THING

10) SHOUT, SCREAM, and YELL

Damn straight.

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mypersonality.info

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