Disrespecting the dead rant

This has been nagging my brain for months now. My ex husband died of a drug overdose in April. He had a pill addiction when we were married so when I got the news of a heroin od, I wasn't shocked. He and I married when I was 19 and he was 29. I was more on the fence-sitting side of things, leaning towards no kids and he was 300% CF. I really give him credit for being the push I needed to accept that I didn't HAVE to have kids. He was a big manslut after we split and we remained friends. I drove 20+ hours from Texas to make it to his funeral. Many many of his conquests showed up (and it was pretty humorous tbh) Word got out that I was his ex wife so all the girlies started striking up conversation with me. One girl was in her early 20s and was pretty tolerable until she said "It's so sad, he never got to have kids." I told her he never wanted any and she told me I was wrong. I bit my tongue so hard.

I wanted to say Of Course you'd think that! He was merely fucking you for sport - you wouldn't know what he wanted and didn't want in life outside of sex. But it being a funeral, I just seethed to myself. I just found it so fucking offensive. Anyone that knew him, knew he never wanted kids.

He would have been 38 this year, on house arrest after being recently locked up over drugs, living in the downstairs apartment of his grandmothers house (his mother also lived there and he has lived there since we first met) and banging anything with a vagina. Why the fuck is it so terrible he had no fuck trophies?? I love him dearly but his life was a mess! I am sick of people assuming everyone wants kids and that it's a tragedy when someone dies before having any.

Yes, indeed. It is annoying that "society" thinks a person is not complete if they have not reproduced. eyes2
I am sorry you lost someone you cared about. He may not have sired any replicants, but he left friends behind. In my book, that means a lot more than parenthood. Take care of yourself.

Thank you, barren4ever. It is my first time having someone close to me die so it's taken some getting used to. I still have very vivid dreams of him, just hanging out and discussing life. Oddly enough, they help.

I once made some friends (NOT!) because I cut off an uber-Breeder at work. We had a co-irker who dropped dead at age 38. She kept saying, "well, at least he didn't have kids." I said, "please stop saying that. Do you think that matters to his parents, girlfriend or siblings? Does that make it "okay" that he died? Just stop." Nobody backed me up, either. They probably all felt the same way she did but I didn't care. I was sick of hearing it*.

I don't really understand Breeders because I've heard it both ways. In the situation above, if someone didn't have kids, it doesn't make them any less dead or make their family members miss them any less

But I've also had people say it's a shame they didn't have kids. WTF? Aside from the fact that maybe they didn't want to have kids, would it really be "better" for some kid to grow up without a parent? My dad dropped dead at age 35, when I was in elementary school. I'm glad I'm here, but I'll be the first to say that losing a parent that young profoundly affected my life.

*And I realize I've argued myself into a circle, but I guess I'm trying to say that when someone dies nobody knows what to say, so people just parrot things they think sound deep, profound or sympathetic. The bottom line is that talking about someone's lack of children is inappropriate whether they are alive or dead. People need to STFU. The person is gone and it doesn't matter now.

His sister brought her loaf to the funeral and says she crawled for the first time that day because of him... I wanted to tell her he barely tolerated the first two she had so I highly doubt he would assist her newest shitsack from beyond. I understand she is taking it exceptionally hard but gimme a fkn break! Posting pics on fb of the loaf smiling in her sleep, saying he must be visiting her /eyeroll. She apparently is purposely forgetting his obvious dislike for children. It's a shame he can't defend himself. His facebook page is filled with "I love you & I miss you"s. I'm half expecting cat fights when the girls notice how many of them overlap eachother. If there is an afterlife I bet he'd be half disgusted and half amused.

Quote

Posting pics on fb of the loaf smiling in her sleep, saying he must be visiting her /eyeroll.

Way to crowbar your kid picture into someone's death. I hate people who hijack every conversation into their loaf.

Sorry you are being assaulted by tackiness.

Yeah it was instantly all about the baby and how her other two kids were going to miss their uncle sooo much. Leave it to a breeder to make a funeral all about them/their kids. His best friend was there and pretty angry about the whole religious part. He kept muttering "They know he was an athiest. He wouldn't have wanted any of this shit" It was pretty funny how cross he was. Funerals are fkn weird. Also his sister made a collage with more pictures of him posing with her kids than anything. Him surfing, playing guitar, wakeboarding - none of that was as important as her fucking kids. I don't want breeders trolling my funeral for attention, I'll have to plan accordingly.

I'm sad to hear another life was stolen by addiction. I wish kratom wasn't earning a bad rap in the media, it has saved so many people from serious opiate addiction... If anyone knows someone struggling with pills or street drugs, kratom a natural tree leaf may be able to help them.
Generally it becomes the new addiction but more like a serious coffee habit. It is perfectly legal, cheap, and no one I know who uses it turns to the kinds of destructive behaviors seen in addictions to get more of it.

I know I sound like an infomercial, but it's saving me from a life of fibro pain. Far less addictive or damaging than medications from a doctor. Of course it is not standardized or regulated, so some experimenting and trial and error is necessary to find how much works and which type for each person.


I'm real sorry to hear about your ex. Especially all the baby rabies surrounding the end of his life when you know how it was something he was never into.

Quote
Snowe
Yeah it was instantly all about the baby and how her other two kids were going to miss their uncle sooo much. Leave it to a breeder to make a funeral all about them/their kids. His best friend was there and pretty angry about the whole religious part. He kept muttering "They know he was an athiest. He wouldn't have wanted any of this shit" It was pretty funny how cross he was. Funerals are fkn weird. Also his sister made a collage with more pictures of him posing with her kids than anything. Him surfing, playing guitar, wakeboarding - none of that was as important as her fucking kids. I don't want breeders trolling my funeral for attention, I'll have to plan accordingly.

I was going to ask if he was a musician. He was probably hot too. Hence the women even with his issues. Breeders and wannamoos cannot handle a guy like that being cf, they think the squalling loaves will cure them and make them grow up and be responsible duhs. I'm surprised he wasn't oopsied unless he was snipped.

Sorry you lost a cf friend and had to deal with all the idiots at the funeral.

My condolences over the loss of your ex, Snowe.

Isn't it just like a breeder to hijack everything and make it about their sprogs? Not even the deceased get a break. She should have realized he was staunchly CF and respected that. Instead, she had to make it all about her goddamned kyds. Nobody is safe from breeders anymore.

Ah too bad I have never heard about it before, Presto! He had multiple major back surgeries throughout his life, beginning at 18 years old. His life was full of pain. His addictions obviously stemmed from that. His doctors told him to never do anything too stressful to his body but they also said he'd never be pain-free. So he said fuck it and did the things he enjoyed anyway. He definitely would have been open to trying it.

Thank you blondie. Yes he was hot indeed. He was quite athletic - 6'1, tan, very very nice cut, toned body, flawless hairline. He needed to be out and about doing something, it was nearly impossible for him to just sit at home. He hated winter lol He was very careful with condoms and never believed a girl when she said she was on the pill etc. He did have one of his girlfriends get pregnant. He was so in love with her but had told her that if pregnancy ever happened, abortion was the next step. She originally agreed with him until after she had the abortion. It upset her pretty bad and she left him.


Thank you mumofsixbirds. I can hear his exasperated voice in my head going "Jesus, Jenny! I can't even have one day for myself?!" His sister always grated his nerves. She used to bring her kids to grannies house for the summer and go out clubbing. It drove him nuts =p

Typical breeders. Whether it’s a funeral, wedding, birthday party, a retirement party, or any other event that honours someone else, they always have to make it about them and their wun-der-ful myrakels. They just can’t stand it when they’re not the centre of attention.
Hell, these moocunts can’t resist the opportunity to babbystalk poor, unsuspecting strangers in a grocery store. It’s no surprise they would do the same at a funeral.

I feel sorry for you What a dumbass bitch, so what if someone didn't have kids when they died? That doesn't make them incomplete or a waste of space...smh