You should be nicer to parents

Childless people should be nicer to parents, according to Elizabeth Hawksworth, because "parents often feel very alone." We should overlook the bingos and the resentment, and "look behind the snark and annoyance to the real issue." "More support on both sides," she believes, is "the answer to this 'war' between the childless and child-ed."

At least she got one thing right: "this letter is not going to make me very popular with anyone."

Aren't most breeders friends with other breeders? Why can't they just bore each other with their tripe? Oh yeah, I forgot that most of the time THEY don't want to hear about other people's kids either. . I hate these types of articles because it's always on the "childless" people to be nicer (read: a big doormat) and endure shitty, one-sided friendships. "Childless" people are the ones who need to change and be more "supportive" but breeders are never asked to pull their heads out of their asses and think of someone other than themselves or their spawn.

Oh yeah, because I love having jealous, disrespectful people for friends, yeah...

Hell I have some PNB friends who have never given me an ounce of complaint. One of them goes so far as to tell me that if she had known what she was in store for she wouldn't do it at all!
Yet she is amazingly successful and her kid is okay, kind of spoiled, kind of whiny, but I think he'll turn out okay in the end because his mother is not a mooching whiner. She worked really hard to make the best of what apparently really sucked for her. I didn't meet her until the kid was 7. She's still married, but the Mr. is your average construction worker, not what she might look for if she was to go back in time... But a lot of people rise out of really bad circumstances instead of wallowing and whining. She now makes a fuckton more money than he does, and it causes a little marital discord... LOL!

I am not nice to leaches and ticks so why should I be nice to moos?

Why should the ChildFree be so nice to breeders? They are too inconsiderate of my feelings for me to want to give them an inch. As for befriending breeders, I don't do that either. I can barely tolerate them in public spaces, let alone be friends with them.

It's nice how this breeder-pleaser puts the responsibility for change on the ChildFree because "Parents have it soooo haaaaarrddd. They are sooo lonelyyyy!!111!!" eyes2

That was their choice to make! Let them be friends with other breeders if they are so lonely and stressed.

Apparently, the answer is for those without kids to continue giving into the entitled, superior attitude of the childed so accustomed to social privilage.

Fuck off.

Hold on. Isn't Rationale #16 for Why I Shat a Loaf "so I'll have someone who loves me"?

If you failed there, you failed at life. :bedmadelie Sew your snatch shut and go die somewhere downwind of the non-selfish and intelligent people of this world.

Hey, I know some PNB's who don't like breeders and will give them a hard time. Don't lay all this on the Childfree.

How the heck can they be 'lonely'? Don't they travel in bunches with their loaves clinging to them in that unconditional love they keep touting about?

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You should be nicer to parents

Why???

Paranoia, paranoia, paranoia, paranoid. I'm not sick, but I'm not well. They're all out to get me they're all out to get me, so are you. So are you. (Sung to the tune of Frere Jaques.)

Why is it that whenever some childless breeder-pleaser talks about childfree-parent relationships, the onus is always on the childfree people to be accommodating, because the parents have it so hard? I would think, as the disadvantaged minority, who can be legally discriminated against and who are routinely vilified in the media by public figures, we're entitled to see a bit of respect and equality before we can honestly be expected to care about the problems of the people whose privilege comes at our expense. I'm glad to see that she's getting her ass handed to her by most childfree people making comments. So long as there's breeder privilege, any CF person would have to have internalized pronatalism to be sympathetic to breeders as a group.

I do have friends who are parents. We don't bond over them whining about their children, we are friends because we have mutual interests and they haven't been absorbed by parenthood. Why would I want to be understanding of someone who only wants friends for what they can do for her/him? I don't have a problem relating to people who happen to have children but who recognize that their children aren't the center of the universe. I do have a problem with bowing down before those who whine about their choices and who think they're suffering when they don't get everything they want.

Love so many well argued responses from the child free and the childless to that article. Many of them were better written than the article itself. Thanks for sharing the link, Yurble.

I will be nicer to breeders when they can take a measly ounce of effort to stifle their brats from shrieking, wailing, screaming, shitting and carrying on every fucking place they drag them.

Oh, is it hard? Are they lonely?

Hmm, let me just check.... nope, sorry, all out of fucks to give.

These "lonely" people are the same ones who had kids because they were scared of being lonely when they're old. And they're lonely now? Well, it's a mystery then isn't it? Couldn't be that they're boring bastards and the only way anyone will ever talk to them is obligation. That's just silly.

Anyone got to the comments by "uncommon scents"? I stared at it for a good five minutes, and I have no idea what it says.

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"Pro life childfree" is just another way of saying parent minus 9 months.

They're lonely? Hang on, whatabout the moo & babby groups, the mass tit feeding groups, moosnet, nasty bitchy gossipy moos at the school gates and fuck load of other "famblee frendlee" places? Lonely? My fucking arse!

No I'll be nicer to breeders, when they learn to take their heads out of their loaves shit filled nappies and potties, broaden their horizons and realise that sluicing isn't a career choice. Equally I'll start taking notice when they shut the fuck up about how harrrd it is to be a parent when the majority sit on their arses in their jammies on candy crush or farmville for 15 hours a day instead of taming their feral offspring.

That said I do know a few PNB's who share the same sort of interests and taste in music as myself and they never carp on about their kids. The respect is mutual, I respect them for raising their children properly and they respect my choice never to be lumbered with them. They haven't lost their individuality or charm as people and it's refreshing to see that.

I'm usually a nice person, pleasant around others and hate conflicts of any kind. But if you behave like an asshole don't expect me to take your shit, bow my head and suffer your assholery. I've always been nice to parents but stopped immediately when i started getting shit from them.

I wrote here a post about a woman who used to be in the same master's programme i was and she had trouble with her studies. I offered to help her and did lots of things like sending assignments, notes when she wasn't in lectures, helping her to figure out the study programme...usually what a study advisor does (although i'm not one and i didn't have any obligation to help). What do i get in exchange? A load of bingoes and whining that i have time because i don't have a chyyyld, passive-agressive comments, total disregard and my hair pulled. I was nice to this person but why should i continue if she acts like a bitch?
The embassy episode when i was totally ignored by the two families there although i tried to be nice and make conversation...seems that if it wasn't about bowel movements, birth, school, diapers etc. i wasn't that interesting.

I have no obligation to be nice towards people who treat me like shit.

Sometimes I completely forget this little vignet from my childhood!

So I wasn't ever really allowed to go over to anyone's house if they didn't live in a one block radius from my house. This was really bothersome to me as a child, even though I didn't realize my parents were stifling my social life until later. There had to be some big reason, like a school project or birthday party, I wasn't allowed to just go visit a friend.

I got annoyed at one point, and hit on a thought, if my mom had more friends to visit, she might understand!
So I asked her, "Where are all of your friends, mom?" And she replied, "Oh you and daddy and (sister) are enough for me." And I knew I'd been outmaneuvered into a corner. If SHE didn't see the need for friends, she'd never understand why I would want to visit MY friends.

I was literally bred to be companionship. And since I was a mistake, I was unintentional company too, and trust me, I picked up on that fact before I was ever informed of the oopsy nature of my existence. (Not really an oops baby, my parents just really didn't understand condoms.)
And you know what? I couldn't wait to get away from them! So much for "you'll be lonely in old age!" If you can't make friends you can't make your friends either.

HuffPo articles are increasingly sounding like advice columns minus the question from the alleged reader.

The sort of thing the writer is describing isn't a childed vs. unchilded issue at all. It's merely the reality that an overwhelming number of people are judgmental, unreliable assholes. As far as the childed "friend" she mentions, I'd say her buddy probably didn't bother building up enough of a community of people that she loves and trusts (and vice versa) before sluicing. Maybe she doesn't know how to be a friend herself.

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I was speaking to a very good friend the other day who stated that she didn't really have anyone to talk to about her feelings regarding her daughter going into daycare.

How is she a "very good friend," yet can't talk to the writer about her feelings? Maybe if the friend were looking to have a discussion about specific daycares in the area, then the writer couldn't help. What she describes, however, is more a situation of her childed friend needing someone to lend her a sympathetic ear. That really doesn't require any special knowledge or experience, especially if the complainer is not looking for advice.

I don't know. Some details of this article sound fabricated to me. Besides, the writer is talking about "childless" people, so, as far as I'm concerned, she isn't actually addressing us anyway.

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Presto
Sometimes I completely forget this little vignet from my childhood!

So I wasn't ever really allowed to go over to anyone's house if they didn't live in a one block radius from my house. This was really bothersome to me as a child, even though I didn't realize my parents were stifling my social life until later. There had to be some big reason, like a school project or birthday party, I wasn't allowed to just go visit a friend.

I got annoyed at one point, and hit on a thought, if my mom had more friends to visit, she might understand!
So I asked her, "Where are all of your friends, mom?" And she replied, "Oh you and daddy and (sister) are enough for me." And I knew I'd been outmaneuvered into a corner. If SHE didn't see the need for friends, she'd never understand why I would want to visit MY friends.

I was literally bred to be companionship. And since I was a mistake, I was unintentional company too, and trust me, I picked up on that fact before I was ever informed of the oopsy nature of my existence. (Not really an oops baby, my parents just really didn't understand condoms.)
And you know what? I couldn't wait to get away from them! So much for "you'll be lonely in old age!" If you can't make friends you can't make your friends either.

THIS is exactly what my mother also always said to me. She never understood why I need to go and see friends, because she has no other friends herself and said that we are enough for her.
Well, there was one friend who always called her, but my mother was always bored, because that particular friend would always ramble about her chyldren so much that even my mother would tire of listening to that shit over and over.

Huffington Post is turning into a breeder blog central and they are not even close to a respectable news source, due to several times where they post some overly dramatic (or completely made up) "article" from a moo before doing any kind of fact checking.

Nice?! I put up with them, don't I? I mean, what do they want? Foreplay?

No, fuck them. You behave like rude, immature idiot, I'll treat you like one. down

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darkerthanblack
THIS is exactly what my mother also always said to me. She never understood why I need to go and see friends, because she has no other friends herself and said that we are enough for her.
Well, there was one friend who always called her, but my mother was always bored, because that particular friend would always ramble about her chyldren so much that even my mother would tire of listening to that shit over and over.

Yup. Even breeders know that other breeders are shitty friends.

At best, they're incredibly self-absorbed, boring, or disgusting to talk to.

At worst, they're just straight up social vampires who only keep people around so they can dump their spawn on them and take off for a while.

And besides that, the childfree have lives too, and we have real problems sometimes (and not just problems we brought on ourselves, like they did with their brats). We deserve to be listened to as well.

But breeders only want to talk about themselves and use you for babysitting.

Remind, WHY am I supposed to be "nicer" to them exactly?

I will promise not to kick the next waddling moo in the groin. Does that count?

My parents both had friends and lives outside of me and my sister. Maybe that is why they are still married and never pressured me to spawn.

I'll be a lot nicer to parents if I can go one measly week without hearing a kid screaming or annoying me otherwise. And no, I'm not accomplishing it by refusing to leave the house all week.

I didn't get them pregnant, so I don't feel the need to be artificially polite to them for their lack of self-control.

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